


Date Roulette

by just_a_noona



Series: Date Roulette [1]
Category: Big Bang (Band), Winner (Band), YG Entertainment | YG Family, iKON (Kpop)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2018-08-10 16:42:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 132,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7853002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_a_noona/pseuds/just_a_noona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Luna lets her best friend talk her into joining a sweepstake contest, she doesn't even consider that she might win. When she wins, she has trouble considering what that might mean for her life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro Week: Monday

**Author's Note:**

> If something is inside dialogue and is italicised, that means it's in English (within the context of the story). Written in a daily journal style.

The van pulled up outside of the venue. I was nervous as the camera guy escorted me to the behind the stage area. I knew who they were, I just wasn’t exactly a fan. I could still feel my ears ringing from Soo-ah yelling at me when I won the contest. It was kind of her own fault. She was the one that entered me into the damn thing. I sighed heavily, trudging along beside the man with the camera.

He gestured towards a door. I glanced nervously at the camera.

“Do I… should I just walk in? What’s the etiquette here?”

He gave me an apologetic smile and just waved me towards the door. I twisted my lips with nerves. I might not be a fan, but they were still incredibly famous. I raised a hand to knock on the door. It was opened nearly instantly. I was greeted by a tan man with a hooked nose and wide smile. I recognised him from Soo-ah’s posters. I bowed and greeted him.

“Ah, uh, Daesung? I am glad to meet you.” He laughed and pulled me into the room. He turned to the other four men.

“She’s here! Our new best friend!” At his words I felt the eyes of the others lock onto me. I tried to remember my tricks to being calm from all the small time open mics and shows when I was younger and still in the states. I smiled and bowed, mentally telling myself that they probably didn’t notice any of my mistakes as much as I did.

A very pretty man walked towards me. His features were nearly elfin. He bowed slightly, and offered me a hand as well. I took it, placing my left hand on my right forearm. I was so glad for the years of having the gesture ingrained into me during my Tae Kwon Do training.

“You’re Luna, yes? I’m Jiyong. This,” he gestured to the shortest member, “is Taeyang. That,”a wave towards a bored looking man, “is T.O.P. And that…”

“Yah! We’re celebrities! She knows who I am!” Seungri pretended to be insulted by Jiyong’s introductions. He strode over to me, a little overbearing with his confidence.

“I’m Seungri, obviously.” He winked at me, taking my hand and brushing his lips over it. “But you can call me Oppa.”

“Uh, well, actually. I can’t.” Seungri’s eyes widened as he straightened up. I continued, “I’m older than you.”

Daesung started laughing loudly. Taeyang and Jiyong smiled. Seungri looked offended. T.O.P just picked up a magazine. I couldn’t tell if he was hiding a smile or not.

“You’re cursed to forever be the maknae, even when we have visitors.” Jiyong patted Seungri on the head.

“You know you can sit down if you like.” I looked around in slight confusion. It was the first thing T.O.P had said.

“Oh, uh, that’s okay. I usually prefer standing.” He rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the magazine. Daesung sat himself in a chair and looked up at me. He asked me how long I had been a VIP and I explained that, while I knew **of** them, I hadn’t really been a fan. I had friends who were fans, but I didn’t get too into them myself.

“I knew about the band, but I didn’t really pay much attention.” I looked down at the floor, hoping I hadn’t insulted them. Jiyong was the first to respond.

“Then why did you enter the contest?” He didn’t look upset at all. In fact, he seemed amused.

“Well, my friend Soo-ah wanted to enter, but she was nervous. So she signed me up as well. I guess it was kind of a joke. I went along with it because I thought it’d be funny if I did win. I didn’t think they’d choose a… uh… well… I guess it isn’t really that funny.” I trailed off, suddenly acutely aware of the camera. Jiyong kept the conversation going.

“You don’t really know much about us then?”

“Only what I’ve picked up from my friends and different artists. I guess I mostly know Taeyang since he’s featured on different tracks. But that’s not really the same thing, is it?” I was picking at the hem of my shirt.

“By the end of filming, you’ll know me very well. I promise.” I looked at Seungri as he spoke. He flashed a flirtatious smile at me, adding another layer of meaning to his words. I quickly looked away.

“Stop flirting. You’re bad at it.” T.O.P flipped a page in his magazine.

“Seungri thinks that he’s the sex appeal of the group.” Jiyong was observing the maknae. Seungri came to stand next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“I am, aren’t I noona?”

“I don’t know. My friends seem more interested in Taeyang and Daesung.” I shrugged exaggeratedly, attempting to dislodge his hand from my shoulder. He pouted at me.

“What about Jiyong and T.O.P?” Daesung seemed to be proud of himself for getting noticed.

“My friends don’t really talk about them much.” Seungri tapped his finger on my shoulder as I spoke.

“And me? They think I’m cute, right?” I opened my mouth for a second, then bit my tongue slightly. I was trying to work out a tactful way of telling the truth. I couldn’t.

“Ah, well… they seem to think that you might be kind of annoying. Fun in small doses, but maybe an energy drain.”

“What about you? What do you think so far?”  Jiyong licked his lips slightly, smiling.

“I’ve been here for five minutes…”

“So? Tell us your first impressions.” For once, T.O.P put down his magazine.

“Well… Jiyong, you seem… self aware. You know what’s expected of you, and you act accordingly. Taeyang… Shy? Maybe you’re just quiet. But it seems more like shyness. Daesung seems confident and at ease. A relaxed person. Seungri… you’re… outgoing. T.O.P… I don’t know… you seem…”

“You aren’t being honest. You’re only saying good things about us.” T.O.P admonished me.

“Shy is a good thing?”

“Shush Taeyang. You should be honest with us.” T.O.P was looking at me intently.

“Yah, hyung, don’t be a bully.” Daesung gave T.O.P a reproachful look.

“No, no. He’s right. I’m trying to be polite, since I don’t know you all.”

“Don’t be polite with me. Be honest.” He was standing now, his arms crossed over his chest. Jiyong had a hand to his face, looking like he was tired of T.O.P’s shit. I met T.O.P’s gaze. I decided to give him what he wanted.

“You come across a bit like an angry person. I don’t know why. Maybe you resent the restrictions that come with being famous. It doesn’t mean you’re not grateful for the things fame has given you, but perhaps you feel caged by it. The others probably feel it too, but they have different ways of reacting. Seungri enjoys the attention, though maybe that’s just so he can survive. Daesung tries to be gracious with fans, but he probably gets very tired from it. Taeyang seems like he has a strong support group, but generally just tries to stay out of the spotlight a bit. Jiyong probably keeps busy, always working on something new. If he gets frustrated he probably just uses it in his work.”

They looked at me. I could feel myself blushing.

“Ah… uh… sorry… I… I didn’t mean to analyse you or anything…”

“Do I seem tired?” Daesung patted his cheek bones. Jiyong turned his look at T.O.P.

“Seunghyun, you shouldn’t provoke people like that. She may not be a big fan, but she’s still our guest, and our dongsaeng. We’re responsible for her.”

T.O.P rolled his eyes a bit, retreating back to his seat. I felt compelled to interject.

“No, no, I’m sorry. I should have held back. I try to be honest and polite at all times, and it’s hard to balance them sometimes. T.O.P was just… He was right that I was trying to be nice. I let myself be provoked because I hold honesty as more important than politeness. I was just trying to be aware of cultural differences.” I felt like an idiot for letting T.O.P get to me like that.

“I don’t know about them, but be honest with me at all times.” T.O.P lifted the magazine again.

“Maybe not too honest. I’m not that shy.” Taeyang teased, good naturedly. The other three laughed lightly. The tension in the room seemed to be lifted slightly. T.O.P turned a page.

“I think we should let her treat us like she would treat her friends in America.” The others gave various noises and gestures of agreement.

“Fair point. You should be very comfortable with us if you’re going to be spending so much time with us.” Jiyong perched on the armrest of one of the sofas.

“I don’t know… There are a lot of differences…” My brow furrowed slightly as I spoke, remembering the sorts of trouble I used to get into.

“They’re right. You should be comfortable with us.” Seungri looked very sure of his opinion.

“Ah… well… I treat my American friends more like… as if they were hyung instead of oppa. Or like unnie.” I ran a hand through the hair at the back of my neck, lightly tugging at it, feeling nervous.

“Show me.” I looked at T.O.P. He cocked an eyebrow at me.

“What?”

“Show me what the difference is.” He looked like he was challenging me. I set my jaw.

I crossed the room to where he was sitting. I sat on the armrest of the big chair. I put an elbow on his shoulder and leaned against him slightly. In my mind I tried to replace him with the vision of one of my old friends.

“What are you reading about anyway nerd?” He held the magazine open slightly to show me. It was some generic review type spread. I ruffled his hair and stood up again. “Drivel. I held my hopes too high it seems.”

“You can act more Korean with me I think.” Taeyang muttered.

“See? She was right. You are shy.” Daesung jeered at him. I smiled at the group in a general way.

“I will be respectful of any boundaries, so please, if I do something uncomfortable let me know.” I clasped my hands behind my back.

“It’s a good thing T.O.P is single. If he had a girlfriend she would probably be jealous of that.”Jiyong commented, grinning.

“Oh gosh. That’s right! Please, tell me if I should keep girlfriends or any such things in mind. I do not want to start any problems.” I had one hand in front of my mouth now, trying to hold back my embarrassment.

The boys exchanged looks. Jiyong spoke, hesitantly, first.

“You, uh, you know what we’re filming right?”

“It’s some sort of fan interaction show, right? Whoever won the contest would get to meet you guys and follow your schedule for a while?” I shrugged as I spoke. “Soo-ah didn’t really explain. She filled out the paperwork for me, and just told me that they would never choose a foreigner. She said I didn’t have to worry about it.”

Daesung and Taeyang shifted uncomfortably. T.O.P dropped the magazine again, looking absolutely delighted. Seungri just looked surprised.

“Ah… you didn’t get a chance to read the disclaimers and waivers then?” Jiyong looked horrified.

“Not really. Soo-ah would just hand them over for me to sign, then shove them in the envelope. Why? What’s wrong?”

Jiyong’s eyes were wide. He ran his hand though his hair.

“It’s a dating show. You… Aish… How do I explain this?”

“You’ll spend this week with all of us. Then you’ll spend a week doing one on one time with each of us. At the end, you rank us from the one you like the most to the one you like the least. Then, if your number one choice agrees, you have another week together. After that there are some interviews and stuff. You probably were actually chosen specifically because you’re foreign. That should be a real ratings booster.” T.O.P’s eyes were glistening with mirth as he explained everything. He looked like he was having the time of his life.

“I… you’re bullshitting me, right? This is seriously like a celebrity version of The Bachelorette? That’s so… Why wouldn’t Soo-ah tell me that?!” I collapsed onto the sofa. I started patting around for my phone. Jiyong’s hand shot out and gently stopped my hand from grabbing my phone.

“Look, it won’t be that bad. This week is with all of us, next week is Seungri, then Daesung, then Taeyang, then T.O.P, and I’m last. The producers won’t try to force anything. The idea is that feelings should develop naturally in that time. If not,” he lifted his hand from mine. “then you simply don’t choose any of us. Simple.”

I sat in stunned silence for a moment.

“Okay. Alright. I can do this. Please, none of you should feel obligated by the show’s structure. I know I’m not exactly the greatest catch.”

“So modest. That’s the girl for Taeyang.” Daesung teased. Taeyang shot him an unamused look.

“Maybe it’s a good thing she’s not a fan.” Seungri started musing aloud. “That way, you all actually have a chance instead of her just automatically falling for me.”

They all teased each other, and me, for a while. Seungri pointed out that Jiyong was his only real competition, since he makes so much money.

After a while, a woman poked her head into the room.

“Ten minutes guys. Let’s get up there. Choi-ssi, go fix your hair up.”

I looked at T.O.P guiltily. Daesung looped his arm through one of mine, Seungri following suit on my other side. They pulled me with them towards the stage area. Jiyong got me some earplugs, making sure I had them in properly. Soon, they were on the stage.

I stood in the wings, watching them. They were good. I could see why Soo-ah liked them. Not quite my style, but good nonetheless.

After the show I greeted the boys as they came off the stage. They were sweaty and in various states of exhaustion and joy. Seungri was bouncing around like an animal, still singing under his breath. Taeyang and T.O.P seemed the most serious and tired. They both just nodded to me as they walked back into their dressing room. Jiyong had a tired smile on his face as he and Daesung approached me.

“So, as a non-fan, what did you think?” Jiyong looked at me expectantly.

“You guys were good. Very interactive. It’s not really my style but it’s still good. I could dance to it. I probably couldn’t dance to it well, but I could maybe at least have fun.”

The remaining boys smiled. They excused themselves to their dressing room to change out of their stage costumes. I waited in the hallway with the camera guy. I turned to him to fill the silence.

“So, what’s your name? Am I allowed to talk to you? I don’t know how this is supposed to work.”

“I don’t think there’s any rules against it. My name is Chul.” He laughed a little.

“Good. I mean, it would be strange to have you following me around all the time if I didn’t even know your name. I’m Luna, though you might have known that already. Your name is just Chul? Is that your family name?”

“No, it’s my personal name. Just the one syllable.”

“I see. One of my coworkers is called Chul. But his name is actually Chulmin.” I wrapped one arm across my chest, stretching it and itching at my opposite shoulder.

I had no idea how to act on camera and I was just nervously fidgeting at this point. With the boys off camera I wasn’t sure what to do. At least with them there I had someone to interact with. _Though, I suppose I could interact with Chul. Would that make for good TV? Me talking to the person behind the camera? I guess if it was bad that they could just not use that footage._

I realised that I had been puffing out my cheeks in thought and quickly stopped. I sighed and smiled at the camera/Chul.

“I have no idea what I’m doing here. Should I just be quiet so you can easily just cut all of this out without reviewing?”

“Why would you rob the viewers of getting to know you like that?”

I looked up and saw Jiyong walking out of the dressing room. His makeup and costume were gone. In their place he wore a black face mask, some cut off jean shorts, and a black long sleeved t-shirt. The mask was a little larger than usual. It hid his distinctive cheekbones and chin. He looked like he would be able to blend in with a normal crowd. He expanded on his line of questioning.

“The editing staff has to watch it all anyway. Why not give them something worth reviewing? It must be boring to review silence.” I nodded as he spoke. I guess that made sense, but still…

“But there are different filters and tools that will automatically cut out dead air. So if I just stay quiet then they can automatically cut that stuff out without much effort.”

“How do you know that?” Jiyong raised an eyebrow. Taeyang and T.O.P walked out of the room as I answered.

“I did a lot of A/V stuff when I was in college. Videos for my friends’ punk bands. Stuff like that.” I shrugged as I said it, not particularly wanting to talk about myself on camera. I wasn’t usually so shy. But being on this side of the lens was nerve-wracking.

Jiyong apparently noticed my nerves. He stopped asking me questions, and turned towards the two others. They made small talk as we waited for the others to come out. Taeyang was showing us a video of a dog he was thinking of adopting when Daesung and Seungri joined us.

“I always figured that a lot of idols get pets because it’s safer than dating. No fan would threaten an animal, right?”

It was an offhand comment. I watched as the video of the puppy ended. When I finally looked up I saw that I had five pairs of eyes trained on me. Six, actually, if you included Chul. I couldn’t read the expressions on the members’ faces.

“What?” My hands flew to my hair and face, thinking they were staring at some problem area. Jiyong was the first to respond.

“That actually makes sense. I never thought of it that way.” He looked thoughtful as he said it.

“Yeah, remember when those fans thought that T.O.P was dating that actress? They flipped out and some sent her some really hateful messages.” Daesung nodded as Seungri spoke. Taeyang put his phone away quietly.

“Alright, everyone ready to go?” It was obvious that Jiyong was trying to dissolve the awkward tension that had filled the air. Everyone mumbled and nodded some form of assent.

Jiyong gestured for us to leave down the hallway. We retraced the trail that I had taken to meet them earlier. When we got outside there was a van waiting. I glanced at Jiyong, unsure of what was happening. He gave me a look that seemed a bit apologetic.

“Right. Your friend didn’t really let you read the papers so… anyway… did she at least warn you to pack some clothes? If not, I’m sure we can easily get some for you.” He directed me to take a seat in the large vehicle. I ended up between Jiyong and Taeyang.

“Ah, well, she did mention that I might need some clothes. I had a bag, but some staff took it and I don’t know…”

“It’s probably at your room already then. Get your buckle on.” Taeyang held the clasp for my safety belt up for me. I buckled myself in and wondered what that meant. _My room?_ I hadn’t even thought of that. _Where was I going to be sleeping? What sort of arrangements had been made?_

The van started up and pulled out into the traffic. A half hour drive and we arrived at our destination. It looked like an apartment building, but a bit nicer. Nicer in a fake way, almost like a hotel. I realised that that was precisely what it was when Jiyong started handing out room keys.

He handed me one that had 17-23 engraved in it. Seventeenth floor for me. I caught a glimpse of the other keys. They were all on the sixteenth floor. I breathed a sigh of relief. _Good._ I hadn’t really expected that I would have to room with the boys, but I had still worried momentarily. Separate floors was perfectly acceptable.

We piled out of the van and into the building. T.O.P was complaining about the van ride, lamenting not having driven himself. Jiyong pointed out that at least his car had been brought over to the building already.

“Besides, with our schedules all being together again, it makes sense to take the vans instead of individual cars.” Jiyong was patting his pockets as we waited for the elevator to arrive.

“Where was… here we go… here’s our weekly schedule, Luna.” He handed me a piece of paper. I looked over the first few lines.

 

> Monday:  
>  Meeting at show – 7pm  
>  Show – 7:30pm  
>  Hotel arrival – 11pm
> 
> Tuesday  
>  Breakfast – 9am  
>  Group activity – 10:30am

“Group activity? What does that mean?” I folded the paper back up and put it in my pocket to finish examining later. The men shrugged.

“It’s probably something like a sports day or something.” Daesung pushed his hair back tiredly. The elevator dinged as its doors opened.

“I hope it’s nothing worse than that.” T.O.P entered the elevator first, positioning himself in the farthest corner possible.

The rest of us crowded in after him. Daesung looked at me apologetically as he got squashed up behind me. I gave him an embarrassed, but hopefully reassuring, smile in return. It would have been fine with seven of us in there, but the addition of the camera made it a bit cumbersome. The members had each pulled their masks down their faces by now.

The ride to the sixteenth floor was filled with speculation about the group activity. As the members exited, Jiyong stayed behind.

“I’ll make sure you get to your room alright. These hotels can be like mazes sometimes.” He smiled at me as he hit the door close button.

I nodded my thanks to him, trying not to blush. I could see why he had been recruited. Even if he hadn’t been talented, he probably would have made it in with his looks alone. I avoided making eye contact and silently thanked the heavens after the incredibly slow thirty second ride was over.

Jiyong stepped out in front of me. _Right. He had said he’d help me find my room. Great._

I trailed behind him as he started down the hallway. He was glancing at room numbers as we moved along. I was paying maybe too much attention to the carpeting in the hallway. The pattern was familiar somehow, looking like a blue and red beehive, but I couldn’t place it. I was trying so hard to place the pattern that I didn’t notice when the hall ended until Jiyong grabbed my arm and pulled me around the corner. If he hadn’t, I probably would have walked straight into the door at the intersection.

We,  _well Jiyong,_ finally found my room. I swiped the key-card into the handle and opened the door. I was greeted by my backpack sitting on the floor. _Thank goodness._ I picked it up as I kicked off my shoes. Turning back to Jiyong I bowed my thanks to him.

“Thanks for your help. That probably would have taken me much longer by myself.”

“It was nothing. Here,” he was holding his phone out to me, “put your number in here. I’ll text you. That way if you need anything you can get a hold of me.”

I quickly entered my number into his phone. Even after living in South Korea for nearly five years I still hesitated over the Hangul spelling of my name. Somehow 루나 just never seemed quite right. I handed the phone back to Jiyong. He immediately texted me so that I now had his number.

“Please remember to give me a cute nickname in your phone.” He smiled and scrunched his nose in a playful way.

“Should I have put something silly for my name in your phone? Maybe I should have added some emoji or something.”

I noticed that his shoes were now off. I was nervous for a minute, having this strange man enter what was supposedly my new temporary home, but then remembered that Chul was still with us with his camera. I busied myself offering Jiyong and Chul water, and promptly opening every single cupboard in the unfamiliar kitchenette in a search for cups.

Jiyong got the correct cupboard on his first try. I gave him an incredulous look.

“We’ve stayed in this building before. Most of the rooms are pretty similarly arranged,” he pulled three cups down as he spoke, “also, cups are usually in the shelf closest to the sink, aren’t they?”

I pouted in response as I started filling the glasses from the tap. I handed the cups to Jiyong and Chul. I made sure to use my best manners while doing so, feeling incredibly self-aware with the camera around.

Jiyong gave me a brief tour of the room. It was more like an apartment, really. The entry led straight into the living room. There was a short hallway to the left that led to the bedroom, bathroom, and a small closet. The kitchenette/dining room was just off the living room. The entire place could probably have fit on a single floor of my mum’s house, but it was perfectly sufficient for one person to spend some time in.

The living room was the largest room in the suite. There were floor to ceiling glass windows that looked over the city. It wasn’t a fantastic view, but it wasn’t anything to turn my nose up at either. All in all it was rather… generic. Not in a bad way, more in a functional way.

At the end of the tour, Jiyong excused himself and Chul and they left.

I went into the small bedroom and flopped down on the bed. I was beginning to think I hadn’t packed nearly enough clothing.

I rolled onto my back and pulled my phone from my pocket. I opened Jiyong’s text.

 

> **From: [unknown]  
>  Rest well. There may be interviews tomorrow morning.**

My phone signal went off again as I was about to save his number.

 

> **From: [unknown]  
>  Let me know if you need anything. A single backpack doesn’t seem like enough.**

I saved his number before responding.

 

> _**To: Jiyong  
>  I think I’ll be fine for the night. Maybe I can bribe Soo-ah into bringing me some things.** _

I immediately started messaging Soo-ah about the day and trying to figure out logistics.

 

> _**To: Sooooo AH  
>  You could have warned me! Oh my god! This is going to take over a month!** _
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH  
>  That’s what you get for stealing my prize :(**
> 
> _**To: Sooooo AH  
>  I know, I know. Can I maybe ask you some favours though?** _
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH  
>  I guess. Only if you promise to get Taeyang Oppa’s autograph for me!**
> 
> _**To: Sooooo AH  
>  How about if I tell you that you can live in my place while I’m filming and see Ttungbo every single day? Someone needs to take care of him.** _
> 
> **From: Soooo AH  
>  I’d still like the autograph. But Ttungbo is good too.**
> 
> _**To: Sooooo AH  
>  You’re the best. Also, could you maybe bring me a few things from my place? My backpack wasn’t exactly enough luggage for this.** _
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH  
>  Hahahaha~ Of course you dummy. I’m out of work at 3pm tomorrow. After that?**
> 
> _**To: Sooooo AH  
>  Maybe. I have a schedule but I don’t know what any of this stuff means. I’ll have to ask Jiyong or someone.** _
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH  
>  SPEAKING OF JIYONG TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU JERK**

I spent the rest of the night recounting my brief adventures of the day. Soo-ah kept asking me ridiculous questions like what Daesung’s hair smells like and how soft Seungri’s skin was. She somehow couldn’t imagine that I did not know these things after spending all of maybe an hour and a half in close contact with them.

I received just a few more texts from Jiyong before I went to sleep.

 

> **From: Jiyong  
>  So what’s my nickname in your phone?**
> 
> _**To: Jiyong  
>  I don’t know you well enough for nicknames.** _
> 
> **From: Jiyong  
>  Why not? I changed yours to something more fitting.**
> 
> _**To: Jiyong  
>  That’s awkward. What is it?** _
> 
> **From: Jiyong  
>  You’ll know soon. Goodnight.**


	2. Intro Week: Tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna enlists Jiyong to help with a possible censorship issue. Jiyong takes the chance to come on a little bit strongly. The entire group goes on an exploratory picnic to get to know each other better. Soo-ah drops off some extra clothing and items, and gets a chance to meet some members herself. Jiyong shows himself to be a little more mischievous than meets the eye. Seungri listens well.

I woke up easily enough when my phone’s alarm went off at 8 am. I stared the ceiling wondering at the fact that I was in some hotel, one floor up from an idol group, that I was going to go be having breakfast with and spending at least part of the day with. I felt like I was going to throw up.

I dragged myself to the shower. Keeping the water slightly cool I stood under the stream just trying to mentally prepare myself. What the hell was the “group activity” today? Whoever made the schedule couldn’t be just a bit more specific? Shutting my eyes I let the water pour down over my face.

After drying off, I worked out what seemed like an outfit that could match almost anything that was going to be thrown at me. Jeans and a t-shirt can match most activities, right? It’s not like they’re skinny jeans or anything either. I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom looking myself over when I heard my phone beep.  
  
     **From: Jiyong  
    The camera guy from yesterday (Chul?), and I, will come get you at 8:45. We’ll bring you to the breakfast spot.  
  
     _To: Jiyong  
    There might be a slight problem._**  
  
Slight might have been an understatement. Or perhaps not. I didn’t know what company was running this show, or what that company might think of the tattoo that was peaking out from my shirt sleeve. I had completely forgotten to take that into account when I packed clothes for what I thought was going to be two or three days.  
  
     **From: Jiyong  
    What sort of problem? I’ll be up in five.  
  
     _To: Jiyong  
    Ah, well… I’ll just show you when you get here._**  
  
I brushed my teeth and washed my face. The doorbell buzzed when I was in the middle of smoothing out some light makeup. I opened my door with my off hand, still grasping an applicator sponge in the other. Jiyong and I gave each other a slight bow as he walked in. I was acutely aware that we were not on camera at that moment.  
  
“What’s the problem?” Jiyong kicked his shoes off and followed me towards the bathroom. I finished up my makeup as I spoke. He was leaning against the door frame watching me.  
  
“Tattoos. I didn’t think of it when I packed. Should I try to keep them covered? I don’t think any of them could be offensive, but I don’t know how this works.” I turned to him, throwing my hands up in an exasperated gesture. He smiled widely.  
  
“Tattoos? Them? As in, multiple?” His voice was ringing slightly with held back laughter.  
  
“Is that really the important part here?” I turned my left side towards him, displaying the bottom half of my Gwan-eum tattoo. “What am I supposed to do about this? I don’t have a sweatshirt. Just that jacket from last night, and that’s not exactly practical.”  
  
Jiyong reached out a hand towards my sleeve. He hesitated, giving me a glance to ask for permission, before lightly pinching the fabric between his fingertips. He pulled my sleeve up slightly to show the rest of the tattoo, in turn revealing the beginning of another one on my shoulder. His eyes widened.  
  
“How many tattoos do you have? What if we have to go swimming or something?” He pulled out his phone and started dialling someone. I fixed my sleeve and gave him a frustrated look. He gave a short laugh before retreating to the living room. I followed him, hearing half of his conversation.  
  
“Luna has some tattoos… Luna… The woman for the date show? How do you not know her name?… Whatever, that’s not important… What’s important is that she has tattoos… No, no, nothing like that… It actually looks like a saint or something… I don’t know… I’ll ask her, hold on.” He turned towards me, slightly lowering the phone.  
  
“What tattoos do you have? Like how many and where?”  
  
“Oh, uh, I kind of have a lot. It might be easier for me to…” I gestured towards the phone in his hand. He spoke into it before handing it over.  
  
“Here, she’ll tell you.” He handed it over, whispering the person’s name to me.  
  
“Kyung-ja.” I nodded and took the phone.  
  
“Hello? Kyung-ja?”  
  
“Yes, Luna? Jiyong says you have tattoos? Can you tell me where and what they are? We need to plan accordingly.”  
  
“Of course. The one that is showing a bit right now is Gwan-eum, the Bodhisattva, on my left arm. Above it there is the beginning of an octopus that goes down my left side, but that is hidden with the shirt sleeve. I have moon phases down my spine, and some galaxies and planets on my back as well. Uh… I have the El Maleh Rachamim, it’s a Hebrew prayer for the rest of the dead, on my right side…”  
  
“What language is it in?”  
  
“Hebrew.”  
  
“Alright. What else?”  
  
“Ah… there is a jellyfish on my left hip, and a squid underneath that on my thigh. I have portraits of my mother and sister on my right thigh. I also have a small artist’s logo on my right ankle. There’s another one, but it’s hidden by my hair.”  
  
“Tell me it anyway, just in case.”  
  
“It’s a spider on my scalp. The hair has grown over it though.”  
  
“Alright. Those sound like they’re mostly easy to cover with normal clothing. It seems like your Gwan-eum is the only one that will cause regular issue. Let me talk to Jiyong.”  
  
I handed the phone back to an astonished looking Jiyong. He kept glancing at me as he spoke to Kyung-ja.  
  
“Hello?… Yes… It looks alright. Traditional… Alright, that should work fine. Thank you.”  
  
He hung up the phone and focused his attention entirely on me.  
  
“I think you’ve got more tattoos than me. Are you Jewish?”  
  
“I… I’m not sure if I am. My sister is Catholic, my grandmother was Jewish, my mother is Buddhist… There wasn’t ever really one specific religion when I was growing up. They each found their own paths. I haven’t found mine yet, I think.” I felt awkward now, standing in the apartment alone with this idol. I quickly checked my watch, wishing that Chul would hurry up.  _8:37am. Just a few more minutes._  
  
At a loss for action I resorted to offering water again. Jiyong laughed and followed me to the kitchen. We sat and made small talk while we waited for Chul. He arrived promptly at 8:44.  
  
Chul gave us a slightly raised eyebrow when he arrived. The camera was already rolling when he stepped through the door. Jiyong immediately started an explanation of why he was in my room so early. He explained about the tattoo panic I had had. He joked with the camera/audience that he would like to show my tattoo, but that the company was going to be blurring it out.  
  
“Just trust me, it’s a very nice blur.”

* * *

We made our way down to the parking garage. Most of the other members were already waiting by the van. The only one missing was Daesung. Jiyong shouted to them from across the room as soon as we got out of the elevator.  
  
“Guys! Guess what I found out about our guest!” I immediately put my face in my hands. I took a deep breath, already tired of the conversation that was about to take place.  
  
“What is it? How come you’re coming down with her?” Seungri started towards us as he spoke.  
  
“Because I’m the leader. It’s my job. Also, Luna has so many tattoos!” Taeyang and Seungri gave Jiyong a sideways look when he said that. T.O.P just gave me a once over look and turned to Jiyong.  
  
“How do you know? I don’t see anything right now.” His eyebrow was raised and his voice was practically saturated with insinuation. Jiyong opened his mouth but I quickly interrupted.  
  
“I texted him this morning about it. I wasn’t sure if it would be okay to have any of them showing with the cameras. Then he called someone about it and I had to tell them about all of my tattoos. I guess it’s not a problem though, since they are easy to cover up. Well, except for this one.” I turned slightly, showing the three men the Gwan-eum tattoo. Jiyong pouted, leaning against the van. Seungri seemed relieved. Taeyang and T.O.P just laughed.  
  
“Way to ruin my fun Luna. I was going to tease them all day.”  
  
“Yah! That’s my reputation you’re messing with. In front of cameras no less! I can’t have people thinking I’m some way that I’m not. Aish!”  
  
When Daesung arrived, it was Seungri who joined Jiyong in joking around about my tattoos with him. Daesung kept giving me surprised looks, like he couldn’t fathom how many I had. The entire ride to a cafe for breakfast was filled with him asking if we were serious. Even after I pulled my sleeve up to show him the entirety of my tattoo he didn’t quite believe it.  
  
When we arrived at the cafe we were seated in a booth at the back. I was squashed between T.O.P and Daesung. Daesung was still asking questions about my tattoos for most of the breakfast. After a while he finally stopped and the group started speculating on what the activity was for the day. Jiyong interrupted the conversation to ask about my clothing situation.  
  
“Were you able to get a hold of your friend? About clothing?”  
  
“Yes, she agreed to bring me some stuff and to look after my house for me. I just need to organise a place and time to meet with her.” I was suddenly thinking about Ttungbo.  _My sweet fatty boy._  I knew that Soo-ah would look after him well. She loved him almost as much as I did. My face must have betrayed me, because Seungri reached across Daesung to put a hand on my arm.  
  
“Hey, are you okay? You look upset.” I looked up at him. He looked genuinely worried. I quickly composed myself and smiled at him.  
  
“Ah, no, I’m fine. I was just trying to think of what to tell Soo-ah to bring to me.” I didn’t know why, but I didn’t want to tell the boys about Ttungbo.

* * *

After the breakfast, we piled back into the van. It was nearly an hour long drive to our next destination. As we tumbled out and stretched our limbs out I looked around. We were in the woods. It was a nice day out. Not too hot, sunny, and just enough clouds to look like a painting. Perfect weather to be outside. I closed my eyes and smiled, enjoying the feel of the sun and breeze. I heard Jiyong trying to get everyone’s attention.  
  
“Yah, yah, look here. They gave me this envelope. Let’s see here…” I opened my eyes and turned to watch him opening up a blue envelope. He pulled out a sheet of paper and read it aloud.  
  
“Okay, okay, okay… It says ‘Follow the blue trail’ on it. Where… Do you guys see a blue trail marker?”  
  
There were a few trails where we were. Seungri found the trail marker first. A blue ribbon tied around a tree. We searched for the next one on the trails. Taeyang found it easily. I marched up to where he was, looking over the trail.  
  
“I guess we’re going this way. We might as well start.”  
  
We made our way through the woods, following the trail of beribboned trees. It was around 2 pm when we reached a clearing. It was more like a field. The terrain was a little hilly, so we could only see the tops of the trees on the other side.  
  
“Now what?” T.O.P held his hand up, shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked across the opening.  
  
Seungri and Jiyong had kept going straight when we got there, and they turned back to us.  
  
“There’s something over here!” Seungri called back to us. Jiyong waved us over to follow them.  
  
It was a cardboard box. It came up to my knee, and was about the same length on the sides. There was a blue ribbon wrapped around it.  
  
“Looks like it’s for us. Who wants to open it?” Daesung was staring down at it. I nudged him.  
  
“What? Are you nervous about opening it Daesung?” He gave me a frown.  
  
“No. Why would I be scared?” He knelt down and grasped the ribbon.  
  
“She didn’t say scared.” Taeyang teased.  
  
The others laughed a bit, but Daesung just ignored them as he opened the box.  
  
“Ooh! It’s food!” Daesung’s face brightened as he started pulling out plastic containers.  
  
Seungri started helping Daesung unpack the box. Taeyang bent down and picked up another envelope. He made a face as he read the message inside it.  
  
“Ah, it’s never simple, is it?” He handed the note to Jiyong. Jiyong looked it over before announcing the contents to the group.  
  
“It’s an introduction game. There are questions that we have to make our best guesses at. It says Luna will be the judge, since the questions are for us to get to know her. Whoever gets the answers correct, or closest, gets their choice of food.”  
  
I leaned over Jiyong’s shoulder to look at the note. Taeyang pulled some more stuff from the box.  
  
“I guess that explains these then.” He held up six notepads and pens. Taeyang handed them out to us. He also handed me a smaller envelope with my name on it.  
  
The boys settled down, sitting in a line. I opened the envelope and sat slightly separate from them. The envelope held a list of questions for me to ask the boys. I was supposed to write my top five answers for each one.  
  
I read the first one aloud.  
  
“Excluding dogs and cats, what sort of pet do you think I prefer?”  
  
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. This was like those MySpace questionnaires from when I was in 8th grade. I scribbled my top five, in order and showed the camera.

  1. Snakes
  2. Rats
  3. Birds
  4. Lizards
  5. Fish



At the direction of one of the production crew boys each wrote down their top three guesses. Chul went and took shots of their papers.  
  
They each held up their sheets to show me their answers. T.O.P got the best score with his answer of“bird, lizard, snake,” meanwhile Daesung was last with his list of “fish, ferret, sugar glider.” T.O.P triumphantly took his victor’s share of the food.  
  
There were several more questions. They all seemed slightly silly to me. Seungri won the round for “What do you think are my favourite colours?” when he was the only person to include green on his list. Jiyong won “Besides Korean and English, what languages do you think I am most capable in?” when he included German.  
  
T.O.P won a second round with a rearrangement question (“Which of the following would be easiest for me to do?”), since he was the only person to put “rebuild an engine” and “paint a mural” over “kill a spider.” By the end of the questions, Daesung and Taeyang each only had one win, while Jiyong and T.O.P had three, and Seungri had two.  
  
Daesung complained loudly about the game being stacked. He speculated that Jiyong and T.O.P had read my answers reflected in my glasses.

* * *

After the meal we set out again. The rest of the activities seemed just as… childish(?) as the first one. There was a kite building contest (Taeyang won), a unscheduled tree climbing contest between Seungri, Daesung, and I (I thought I won, but Seungri was convinced otherwise), and I showed the boys how to make St. Brigid’s cross out of grass. It was nice to be so carefree. The innocence of everything was so refreshing.  
  
We finally arrived back at the van at around 6pm. I pulled my phone out as we were driving back to the hotel. I guiltily read my messages from Soo-ah.  
  
     **From: Sooooo AH  
    Off work. I packed you some normal (and some cute) clothes.  
  
    From: Sooooo AH  
    Lunaaaaa?  
  
    From: Sooooo AH  
    Aish. You’re probably off getting 500 kinds of cozy with my oppas  >:/  
  
    From: Sooooo AH  
    I have to go out for a while. Text me when you’re not busy tearing my heart out.**  
  
“Ah, she is really too dramatic sometimes.” I leaned back in my seat, trying to think of what to say to Soo-ah.  
  
“She’s still going to bring you clothes though, right?” Jiyong leaned forward in his seat. He rested his arm against the back of my seat, his hand landing on my shoulder.  
  
“Yeah. I’ll just have to figure out a way to bribe her.”  
  
Seungri nudged me with his elbow.  
  
“Just tell her that she can meet me. That should be enough of a bribe, right?”  
  
“I want to convince her to bring me clothes, not give her a heart attack. Besides, what’s the schedule like for the rest of the day?”  
  
Seungri dug through his pockets and pulled out a folded paper slip. He unfolded it and started reading.  
  
“Okay, so we’re heading back now… It just says that we leave for dinner at 8pm. So we should have some time between getting back and leaving.” I unlocked my phone and wrote back to Soo-ah.  
  
    **_To: Sooooo AH  
    If you could make it to [hotel] before 7:30pm that would be perfect.  
  
    To: Sooooo AH  
    Sorry for not texting sooner. I left my phone in the car._  
  
    From: Sooooo AH  
    No problem. I can swing by there easily.  
  
    From: Sooooo AH  
    See you at 7:30!**  
  
“She’ll be by the hotel at 7:30. Is that fine?” I glanced back at Jiyong for confirmation. He smiled and started to speak, but was cut off by Seungri.  
  
“That’s…”  
  
“Is she cute? Does she want to meet us?”  
  
“You’re pretty eager to meet her, huh?”  
  
“Pretty girls hang out together, so, yes.” Seungri smiled at me.  
  
“Real smooth Lee Seungri.” Taeyang muttered, eyes glued to the screen of his phone. I could see he was reading some article.  
  
Daesung and I laughed. I shrugged as I tucked my phone into my pocket.  
  
“If you want, you can meet her. But what are you going to do? Just wait around my living room until she shows up?”  
  
“Sure, if you don’t mind.”  
  
“Uh…”  
  
“I’ll come too. Keep an eye on you two.” Daesung wriggled his eyebrows a bit as he interjected.  
  
“Ah, I wasn’t serious. She’ll come at 7:30, so you can just come up then.” I ran a hand through my hair. Taeyang snorted a bit next to me, still staring at his phone.  
  
“You’ve got them all excited about meeting a girl who’s actually a fan.”  
  
“Hey, it’s not my fault that the powers that be chose me.” I shot a fake pout at Seungri.  
  
“Don’t give me that look! I think you’re lovely. I just like meeting people.”

* * *

When we arrived back at the hotel I was just waiting for the boys to get off the elevator so I could call Soo-ah. Once again, Jiyong stayed on the elevator with me. He didn't say anything, but shot me a quick smile as he hit the Door Close button.  
  
I eyed him as the elevator ascended. It was almost like a game, both of us staying silent. He followed me to me room, pausing at my door. I didn't say anything, but left the door open behind me. He entered and took his shoes off.  
  
When he settled himself into a chair in the small dining area I finally broke the silence.  
  
“Well?”  
  
“I have to make sure they don’t bother you too much.”  
  
“They’re downstairs. They can’t bug me from down there.”  
  
“I also don’t need to change before dinner. I figured that getting to know you better would be a good use of time.” He smiled up at me innocently.  
  
“Don’t you have a whole week scheduled for that?” I started pulling down glasses, resorting to offering water once again.  
  
“So? That’s weeks from now. I'm just playing the game smartly.” I felt a hand on my arm. I hadn't heard him move from the table.  
  
“Why are you getting so many cups out?”  
  
I looked at the cups on the counter. Three of them lined up next to the sink.  
  
“You, me, and Ch…”  
  
“Chul isn't here.”  
  
I looked around, a little frantic in my search. Chul really wasn't with us.  
  
“Where did he…”  
  
“He split from us when got back. He’s probably dropping off tape. He’ll meet us when we go to dinner.”  
  
I was struck by the fact that I was alone in the apartment with Jiyong. Completely alone. With a man I didn't know.  
  
I moved to sit at the table, taking the chair opposite the one Jiyong had been sitting in. A smile seemed to slightly tug at Jiyong’s cheeks, but he held it back. He took a glass and slid into the chair to my side.  
  
“So tell me about yourself.”  
  
“What do you want to know?”  
  
He tilted his chair back slightly as he thought. His eyes lit up and the chair landed back on its feet. Jiyong leaned forward on the table, propping his head on his hand.  
  
“Why don’t we start with the tattoos?”  
  
“You heard me talking to… What was her name? Kung…?”  
  
“Kyung-ja.”  
  
“Right. You heard me telling her. What else is there to know?”  
  
He jerked his eyebrows slightly.  
  
“You can show me.” His eyes trailed up my arm. I leaned back, creating more space between he and I.  
  
There was no denying that he was charming, but it was honestly a little demeaning…  
  
“Does that work? You just ask and get what you want?” I crossed my arms, setting up barriers.  
  
“Not always. It works enough to be worth trying though.” I checked my watch, a little offended, searching for a conversation distraction.  
  
“You going to stick around to meet Soo-ah? She’ll be here soon.”  
  
Jiyong stood up.  
  
“I don’t think I will. You’ll have your hands…”  
  
There was a ringing sound. Jiyong’s eyebrows jumped slightly. I realised it was the door buzzer. He hung back as I walked to the door, standing out of sight as I opened it.  
  
Seungri and Daesung stood there.  
  
“Is she here yet?” Seungri didn’t bother with formalities.  
  
“Ah, seriously? I thought you two were joking.”  
  
“I'm only here to keep an eye on Seungri.”  
  
I stepped back, letting them in. I turned towards Jiyong, but he had disappeared.  
  
“Why don’t you guys sit? I’ll get you some water.”

* * *

Jiyong wasn't in the kitchen either. I narrowed my eyes as I filled cups for the two boys in my living room. After I brought them the glasses I made an excuse and slipped to my bedroom.  
  
Jiyong was sprawled on my bed, flipping through the paperback I had brought with me.  
  
“What are you doing in here?”  
  
“Quiet down. Do you want them to know that I'm here?”  
  
“I don’t see how it would be a problem.”  
  
“Really?” He rolled over and leaned up on his hands, crossing his legs. He smiled and cocked an eyebrow.  
  
“You don’t mind them knowing that we were alone?” He scooted to the edge of the bed. “That I'm in your bedroom?”  
  
I nudged his leg with my foot.  
  
“Aish… Fine. Have it your way. Behave yourself though!” He grinned at me, but went back to the book.

* * *

Back in the living room, Daesung and Seungri were sitting quietly. When I walked into the room, Daesung stood up. I raised my eyebrows at him, a “what’s that about” look. He sank back down into the chair.  
  
I took a seat on the sofa next to Seungri. The bit of space I left was quickly closed by him.  
  
“So when will she be here?”  
  
“Yah… Don’t try to cuddle up close and then ask me about my friend. Rude.”  
  
“Aw, is noona jealous?” Seungri nudged me with his shoulder and wriggled his eyebrows. My phone beeped and I pulled out.  
  
“You wish…”  
  
     **From: Sooooo AH  
    Just got here. Where should I go?  
  
     _To: Sooooo AH  
    17th floor, room 23  
  
    To: Sooooo AH  
    There’s some asshole up here that wants to meet you by the way_  
  
    From: Sooooo AH  
    I AM RUNNING AS FAST AS I CAN**  
  
Seungri was reading over my shoulder.  
  
“Daesung hyung is precious. You shouldn't call him an asshole.”  
  
“I didn't.”  
  
Daesung stood and peaked at my phone. He sat back down laughing.  
  
“I don’t think she was talking about me Seungri.”  
  
Seungri pouted and crossed his arms. I ignored him, turning towards Daesung. We sat in uncomfortable silence for a minute.  
  
“So, you guys must get bored easily,” I finally spoke up.  
  
"Why do you say that?”  
  
“I just imagine being famous is tough. You can’t really go out and do stuff.”  
  
“I go out all the time.” Seungri abandoned his pouting to chime in.  
  
“Okay, but don’t you get bothered a lot?”  
  
The door buzzer went off frantically. Seungri’s voice followed me as I went to let Soo-ah in.  
  
“People say hi, but I don’t mind.”  
  
“That’s because you’re an attention wh…” Daesung was cut off by Soo-ah squealing as she hugged me.

* * *

She had a rolling luggage bag and a large duffel bag with her. She tossed them into the hallway and started talking.  
  
“Okay, so I brought some normal stuff. There are some cute outfits in there too and please try to wear them, you’re on television for god’s sake. Also I brought some of your gym stuff since I know you like to bulk up like a man. There’s also some OH MY GOD!”  
  
She stopped talking suddenly, just staring past me. Her hands were clasped over her mouth. I shook my head as I turned to look at Seungri. He stood looking at Soo-ah, wearing a big charming smile.  
  
“Soo-ah, this is Seungri. Daesung is around here somewhere too.”  
  
“I'm here.” Daesung stepped around Seungri and returned Soo-ah’s bow. He nudged Seungri in the ribs, causing him to quickly dip as well. Soo-ah blushed, seemingly unable to find her voice.  
  
I gently pulled her into the living room, sitting her down on one of the chairs.  
  
“Seungri? Can you get your poor fan some water? Sit here Soo-ah, I’ll take my stuff into the bedroom and be right back. Daesung?” Daesung looked at me expectantly, “Make sure Seungri doesn't get too weird.” Daesung laughed.  
  
“I am not weird!” Seungri called from the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and went back to the bags. I carried them into the bedroom, seeing Jiyong thoroughly engrossed in my book. He laid it on his chest as I settled the bags next to the closet, fixing a stare on me.  
  
“Are you checking up on me?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Ah, so you just can’t stand being away from me?”  
  
I gave Jiyong an unamused look.  
  
“I don’t have time for this. Here,” I picked up my iPod from the small desk and handed it to him,“just… stay out of trouble.”  
  
“You have no confidence in me Aegi.”  
  
I thought about arguing with him on his use of the pet-name, but I decided that I had already taken too long for dropping off my bags. I just threw my hands up and walked out of the room.  
  
Soo-ah was the quietest and most reserved that I had ever seen her. Seungri and Daesung told stories about behind the scenes jokes and pranks between the members and asked Soo-ah questions about what her favourite interviews and music videos were. Soo-ah was timidly talking about a collaboration between Taeyang and Tablo when my phone started going off.  
  
     **From: Jiyong  
    We have to leave in ten minutes.**  
  
I snorted as I wrote back. Daesung glanced at me, but didn’t say anything.  
  
     ** _To: Jiyong  
    Hiding out doesn’t seem like such a great idea now, does it?_  
  
    From: Jiyong  
    It was a great idea. Did you know that you left your Facebook logged in on your iPod?  
  
     _To: Jiyong  
    Right. Time for me to get these kids out of here.  
  
    To: Jiyong  
    I wouldn't want them to witness a murder._**  
  
I looked up and cleared my throat before cutting the conversation short.  
  
“Ah, Jiyong says we have to leave soon. I still have to get ready for dinner, so if you guys don’t mind…”  
  
Daesung stood and nudged Seungri. Soo-ah left a minute after the two boys, saying that she wouldn't be able to handle being in the same elevator as them. When everyone was finally cleared out of my apartment I bolted to the bedroom.

* * *

Dinner was uneventful. Jiyong made a few passing comments about bands he had seen in my iPod.  
  
“Did you know there’s a band that writes comics to go along with their albums?” Jiyong nonchalantly asked the group.  
  
“Sounds gimmicky.” T.O.P reached for another ssambap.  
  
“Their fans love it. It gives all of their music a continuous feeling. Like story telling.”  
  
“You aren’t suggesting that we do something like that, are you?” Taeyang looked a little apprehensive.  
  
“It’s just something to think about. Maybe not comics, but the story teller approach might be interesting.”  
  
“We do tell stories.”  
  
“Sure, but how many break up and falling in love stories can we really come up with? Something a bit more… Expansive might be nice.” Jiyong nudged me. “What do you think Luna?”  
  
“I think it would be good as long as it isn’t forced. If it’s not a story that you’re genuinely invested in telling the fans can tell.” I busied myself with folding my napkin, attempting to escape the conversation.  
  
It worked for a while. Daesung seemed to think that it would be interesting to try, but T.O.P and Taeyang seemed ardently against the idea. I observed the discussion, watching how well the five of them argued. Jiyong appeared to be well practised at diffusing T.O.P and not letting him dominate the conversation. He would interject on behalf of the younger members easily, but respectfully. It was obvious why he was the leader of the group. Or maybe it was because he was the leader that T.O.P allowed him to interrupt him.  
  
I got lost trying to dissect the interactions between the eldest and the highest ranked. I tried to work out how much of their friendship was actually dictated by social hierarchies. I barely noticed that Seungri had stolen everyone’s napkins and kept handing them to me. After a while he interrupted the argument to point out my six man army of napkin origami bunnies to the others.  
  
“You guys must be really boring. Look what Luna’s had to resort to doing to amuse herself.”  
  
Daesung and T.O.P were surprised to find their napkins missing and folded into floppy eared rabbits. For some reason Taeyang seemed annoyed. Jiyong just smiled at me as he lifted one.  
  
“Sorry, we aren’t being very good hosts. These are cute though.”  
  
“What? No, no, it’s fine. I just… I like to keep my hands busy. It’s like a nervous thing I guess.”  
  
Seungri nudged me slightly with his shoulder, his eyebrows jumping flirtatiously.  
  
“Why are you nervous? Because you’re sitting next to me?”  
  
“You’ll have her to yourself for a full week Seungri, stop trying so hard now.” I raised an eyebrow at Jiyong’s words. Hypocrite.  
  
“Says the man who makes sure to always escort her to her room.”  
  
“That’s called having manners. Maybe you should try it out sometime.”  
  
Seungri and Jiyong bickered back and forth for a while. I turned slightly towards Taeyang, who seemed bored at my other side.  
  
“Ah, Taeyang, I was wondering if the hotel had a gym?”  
  
“Yeah. I can show you it tomorrow if you want.”  
  
I pulled out my phone and pulled up the picture I had snapped of the schedule. I saw that Wednesday was scheduled simply as a free day.  
  
“So… Does that mean we can do whatever we like?”  
  
“As long as you stay out of trouble.”  
  
“How much trouble could I seriously get into?”  
  
Taeyang simply shook his head and turned back to his food. I looked over the schedule again. The guys had an interview taping on Thursday afternoon. Friday was filled with practise times for the guys, I assumed I’d just be tagging along, then they had a performance that night. Saturday was more practise, with norraebang scheduled for that night.  
  
Great. Norraebang. With professional performers. Never mind that I only knew the lyrics to rap songs. Maybe they’d have some English songs that I could do.  
  
Sunday was blank. It gave me an uneasy feeling.  
  
“You okay Luna? You look a little pale.” I looked up into Seungri’s gaze.  
  
“Ah, no, I was just going over the schedule. What’s this blank space on Sunday?”  
  
Seungri took my phone and looked at the picture. He leaned over T.O.P to ask Jiyong if he knew anything.  
  
“I think that’s when the first episode airs.”  
  
“It’s airing so soon? Won’t that… I mean… If it airs so soon after filming then won’t it impact the… How do I say this?”  
  
“If we’re able to watch the weeks with the members before us, it will put the later members at an advantage?” T.O.P voiced, unconcernedly. Of course he doesn’t mind, he’s one of the last ones to go.  
  
“I guess, yeah. Isn’t that kind of unfair to the people who have earlier weeks?”  
  
“If anything, it makes it more fair. I’m obviously going to win anyway, so the others need as much help as possible.”  
  
“Love your optimism Seungri, but arrogance isn’t really an attractive quality you know.”  
  
Daesung started laughing at that, and even Taeyang seemed to crack a smile. I retrieved my phone from Jiyong and turned back to Taeyang.  
  
“Would you take my number? That way you can call me when you’re ready to show me the gym.”  
  
Taeyang nodded and I put my number into his phone. A message came into my phone as I was putting it in my pocket. It was, somewhat surprisingly, from Jiyong and not Taeyang.  
  
     **From: Jiyong  
    You shouldn’t just give your number to strangers ;)  
  
     _To: Jiyong  
    I guess I like to live dangerously._**  
  
“Whoa, how come Taeyang gets your number but not me?”  
  
“Because Taeyang is doing me a favour that requires it.”  
  
“I can do you favours.” Seungri’s eyebrows were out of control as he bit his lip to punctuate his statement.  
  
“Wow. Taeyang is just showing me around the gym tomorrow. Chill your face.”  
  
Seungri slipped his arm around my shoulder.  
  
“I can help you work out too. If you work out with Taeyang he’ll have you getting all muscled up.”  
  
“There’s nothing wrong with muscle tone. Also, I’ve already got my own routine. I just need to be shown where the gym is.” I brushed Seungri’s arm from my shoulders as I explained. Taeyang shot a smirk at Seungri.  
  
“Also, I’m not a creep, so there’s no risk in me having her number.”  
  
“Ah, Seungri is enthusiastic but I can’t see how that would translate to a risk. But, we might as well all get Luna’s number. It will make planning things easier.” Jiyong smiled as if he was playing some sort of prank.  
  
“I’ll just get it from you.” T.O.P said in Jiyong’s direction as Seungri handed his phone to me. Daesung handed his to Taeyang, who in turn simply pulled my contact up in his own phone and put my number into Daesung’s phone.  
  
“I will not hesitate to block you if you get too annoying.” I gave Seungri a slight glare as I handed his phone back to him.  
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He typed out a message on his phone.  
  
I ignored my phone’s tone, knowing it was just Daesung and Seungri sending first contact texts.  
  
“So what sort of rules are in place for free days?” I looked towards Jiyong as I asked. I had accepted that he was either the most well informed of the group, or just the general spokesperson.  
  
“There are probably fewer rules for you than us. You’re unknown. At least until the episodes start airing.”  
  
“So… I could maybe go home and pick up some things that Soo-ah forgot?” I mentally added that I would get a chance to see Ttungbo.  
  
“That should be fine. I’ll double check for you.”  
  
“Thank you.” I smiled, more to myself than Jiyong. I hadn’t been away from Ttungbo for this long since I had first gotten him. Two days and I already felt like a stressed mother.

* * *

After dinner, Jiyong invited us all to his suite. I declined as politely as I could, citing the fact that I had two huge bags of clothing to organise. Seungri jumped at his chance to try out Jiyong’s “manners” tactic and offered to walk me to my suite. Jiyong winked at me from behind Seungri in the elevator, egging me into accepting the offer. I couldn’t tell if Seungri or Jiyong was more surprised when I said yes, but they were both totally eclipsed by T.O.P I think. It was the most expressive that I had seen him yet.  
  
The thirty second elevator ride with just the two of us was silent. He seemed to actually be a little nervous, fidgeting his hands in his coat pocket. When the doors slid open he hesitated a second before following me. I decided to tease him a bit as we walked.  
  
“Are you not used to actually being a gentleman? Or do you just usually not get this far with girls?”  
  
“Yah, I'm a perfect gentleman. When I want to be.”  
  
“I see. So I guess that means you’re one less variable for me to worry about.”  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
  
“Well, you haven’t tried being a gentleman with me, so I can probably assume that you aren't interested in this contest. If you aren't interested, that means you’re a safe competitor.” We reached my door. I swiped my key card through the handle.  
  
“Safe competitor?” I noticed that Seungri stayed in the hallway as I took my shoes off.  
  
“Yes. I don’t have to worry about you trying to make a move or anything. It will make it easier for me to breeze through this whole ordeal. Uh… You can come in if you like, but Jiyong will probably be waiting for you.”  
  
He stepped in and took his shoes off.  
  
“Thanks. So this is an ordeal for you? You’re not excited at all about the prospect of going on dates with some of the most famous people in Korea?” He stood straight and looked at me. He looked a little surprised for a second.  
  
“What’s that look for?”  
  
“I thought you were shorter. I figured your shoes were lifted or something.”  
  
“You should see me in heels. My favourite pair makes me over six feet… or… sorry, something like 190 centimetres?” I laughed, surprised that my default measurements were still in feet and inches. Seungri chuckled slightly.  
  
“Jeez, you’re like a giant or something.”  
  
“Not really. Where I’m from I was the average male height.” I turned to walk into the living room. Seungri followed after me.  
  
“Average male height? That’s still pretty tall for a girl.”  
  
“Well, where I’m from there were a lot of first, second, and third generation migrants from areas with shorter populations. If they did an average of the guys in my ethnic group it probably would have been closer to 195 centimetres than 173.”  
  
Seungri gave me a blank look. I was suddenly a bit self conscious, sitting on the sofa talking about height differences between ethnic groups. Am I being a nerd? Is this an offensive topic? I blushed.  
  
“Uh, anyway, what were you saying before?” He shook his head slightly and settled onto the sofa next to me.  
  
“Right. Well… You aren’t excited at all about having a chance at a relationship with one of us? We’re pretty, rich, well known… I’d be excited.”  
  
“I don’t know. I guess I don’t care too much about that stuff? Why should your fame matter? Does that make you a better person?”  
  
“It gives us, and by proxy our partners, access to things that other people don’t. Higher quality items, getting into clubs…”  
  
“So? A cheap car gets you from place to place, and some of them can even outlast the expensive ones. Clubs? Who cares how high end the sound system and liquor is? They’re nice, but it’s the people that make it fun.”  
  
“Okay, but there are experiences. Travel options.”  
  
“You might have a point on that one. But still, none of that stuff guarantees a good person or a happy relationship.”  
  
I felt like an ass. I was lecturing this grown man like he was some child. I cursed my nerves. He seemed not to mind though. He just leaned back into my sofa in silence.  
  
“That’s just what I think anyway.” I mumbled and stretched slightly.  
  
“You’re not wrong. It’s fine as long as you don’t let yourself get convinced of the opposite too.”  
  
“The opposite?” I leaned back as well, the both of us now staring at our reflections in the dark television.  
  
“That having money makes someone a bad person.”  
  
“It’s not the money part that I worry about."


	3. Intro Week: Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyang has opinions about women and gyms. Jiyong takes the free day to take Luna to get some breakfast and basic necessities for her suite. He also takes the opportunity to introduce her to a few names he saw in her music library. Pride meets practicality when Jiyong faces some jealousy. Altruism meets duty when Luna questions his motives. Awkwardness meets grace when Seungri and Luna go for drinks.

I woke up to my phone ringing. I picked up groggily.

“Yeobos… eyo?”  
  
“Get up, I’m coming up to bring you to the gym. Five minutes.”  
  
Taeyang hung up quickly. I looked at the clock on my phone.  _7:12 am. Downright ungodly._  
  
I pulled myself out of bed and started rummaging through the bags that Soo-ah had brought me. I finally found some basketball shorts and a loose t-shirt. I pulled them on and stumbled to the bathroom to brush my teeth.  
  
My eyes were still not 100% open when the door buzzer went off. I opened the door to see an inhumanly awake Taeyang standing there. He held a water bottle out to me.  
  
“Let’s go.”  
  
I could only nod as I followed him down the hallway. Shuffling over the blue honeycomb carpet, I tripped over my grogginess and stumbled into Taeyang. He laughed lightly as he offered me a hand to steady myself.  
  
“Up late?”  
  
“Seungri knows how to talk.”  
  
“What did you guys talk about?” Taeyang smirked. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“The possible impacts of fame and fortune on people’s morality.”  
  
He looked surprised for minute. He squinted at me sceptically as we waited for the elevator.  
  
“Seriously? With Seungri?”  
  
“Yes. Why are you surprised?” The door slid open in front of us.  
  
“He must like you… Or at least respect you.”  
  
“I’d hope each of you would at least respect me.”  
  
“I’m reserving judgement.”  
  
“Wow. Harsh, but fair.”  
  
When we got to the gym we split up. Taeyang headed straight to the weight racks, but I decided to start with jogging. I wasn’t pushing too hard. I actually set my pace slower than I was accustomed to so that I could work on endurance over speed. I put in my earbuds and entered my own world of music and zombie groans.  
  
I had lost track of how long I had been running when Taeyang approached and waved his hand in front of my face. I pulled my earbuds out and paused my run.  
  
“I’m heading back up. Someone’s been texting you by the way.”  
  
“Alright, thanks.”  
  
“You can find your own way back?”  
  
“Yeah, I’ll figure it out.”  
  
After he left, I checked my phone.  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **Meet for breakfast?**  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **Let me know when you’re done at the gym.**  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **Jeez, how long does it take to work out?**  
  
     ** _To: Jiyong_**  
     ** _I’ll be another hour at least._**  
  
I abandoned the treadmill and headed to the now empty weight area.

* * *

An hour and a half later I was stepping out of the shower in my room. The bags that Soo-ah had brought were still packed up, my conversation with Seungri having lasted long enough that I had forgone unpacking in favour of sleeping. My phone beeped again as I searched for a shirt.  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **That’s it, I’m going to come pull you out of the gym myself.**  
  
     ** _To: Jiyong_**  
     ** _I’m in my suite._**  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **Way to let me know.**  
  
     ** _To: Jiyong_**  
     ** _I was in the shower. Jeez._**  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **Wow.**  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **Rude.**  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **Are you decent? I’m coming up.**  
  
     ** _To: Jiyong_**  
     ** _I will be by the time you get here._**  
  
I finally found a tank top and light pullover that I liked. Pulling my hair back into a loose ponytail, I headed to the kitchen.  
  
I don’t know what I expected. I knew there was no food in there. I started chugging water. Hey, hydration is always a good thing, right? The door buzzed as I was finishing my second glass.

* * *

“Ready to go? We’ve got errands to do,” Jiyong smiled when I opened the door.  
  
“Errands? I thought you wanted breakfast.”  
  
“Yeah, we’ll start with breakfast. Come on, get your shoes on.”  
  
On the elevator ride down he kept texting on his phone. He smiled in a self satisfied way when he finally pocketed it.  
  
In the basement garage, Jiyong led me not to one of the company vans, but to a very nice looking white car. My eyes widened when I saw it.  
  
“Is that… Oh my gosh… Is it the W12 or the V8? Can I see the engine? What year is it?”  
  
“Just give me a second,” Jiyong grinned in a self-satisfied way as he opened the driver side door and popped the hood. He lifted the hood and stood back, “what do you think?”  
  
I was speechless. I’d never been so close to a car of this calibre before, never mind being able to look under the hood. Sure, if seen plenty of pictures online, but seeing it in person was so much better.  
  
I leaned down, holding my necklace so it wouldn’t hit the image of perfection that was in front of me. It wasn’t quite show-floor ready, but it was clear that it was well taken care of. Or perhaps just not driven very much.  
  
“This is amazing,” I heard Jiyong laugh at my hushed tone.  
  
“Come on, we’ve got stuff to do. You can ogle the engine some other time.”  
  
Jiyong seemed to be in a good mood. He laughed at my reactions to the car starting and the sound of the engine shifting. I was lost to the world from the moment he turned the key.

* * *

I was brought back to earth when we arrived at a subdued cafe. Jiyong handed me an oversized pair of sunglasses. As I put them on and checked how silly I looked in my mirror, he got out and circled around to open my door. He held a hand out to me as I clambered out of my seat.  
  
“Watch your step there. I didn’t mean to park you right over a storm drain.”  
  
“It’s not like I’m wearing heels. I can walk normally.”  
  
He just smirked as he laid one hand on my back and closed the door with the other. Calculated in the extreme, I realised his hand position was firmly in the “polite friends” zone between my ribs and waist. He directed my attention to the cafe.  
  
“I like this place. The employees are polite, no one bothers you. You never know who you might meet here.”  
  
There was something in his tone as he spoke. I glanced over his face, but all I saw was the slight smile that I was beginning to suspect was his signature expression. He kept his hand on my back as we walked into the building. Why was that? Protectiveness? _Stop flattering yourself Luna._  
  
“You know I can still walk by myself, right?” I prodded him, keeping my tone light.  
  
“Like I said, you never know who you might meet here,” he kept his smile fixed, though it seemed to tighten slightly. He nodded towards an approaching figure, “like this young man.”  
  
My eyes widened when I saw who was walking towards us. Suddenly, the huge sunglasses that Jiyong had had me put on were a god-send, enabling me to hide my expression. I basked in the ability to secretly fangirl over the man who was now bowing to Jiyong. God. He was even prettier in person.  
  
“Jiyong-hyung, nice to see you here,” the man’s speaking voice wasn’t quite as deep as I had expected. He turned towards me slightly and bowed again. “Haksaeng.”  
  
_Haksaeng? How much of my face did these glasses cover? Wait… Is he being flirtatious?_  I tried not to giggle as I returned his bow. I felt Jiyong’s hand slide from “polite friend” to “close friend” territory.  
  
“Luna, this is…”  
  
“Song Mino. I’m not totally clueless Jiyong.”  
  
Mino smiled at being recognised, but I could see it was the practised smile of someone who has to deal with the public a lot. The customer service smile.  
  
“Luna? Like the moon?” I tried, and failed, to keep my groan internal. Jiyong laughed as Mino’s expression turned apologetic.  
  
“Ah, I’m sorry. You’ve probably spent the last twenty years hearing that.”  
  
“Closer to thirty.”  
  
“Waa… No way!” Mino seemed genuinely incredulous. Jiyong cleared his throat slightly.  
  
“Ah, Luna, we should find a table. Will you join us for some late breakfast, Mino?”  
  
I thought I saw Mino’s eyes flick to the (by now somewhat awkward) skinship between Jiyong and I before he answered.  
  
“If you two don’t mind. I already have a table. I’ll bring you.”  
  
He led us to a small booth. There was a laptop and a notebook on the table. Mino quickly closed both and pushed them into a messenger bag, gesturing for us to sit in the seats opposite where he had been set up.  
  
A waiter was instantly at the table-side. He disappeared just as quickly as he had appeared after taking our orders.  
  
“Working? Or studying?” I tried to start a conversation that would be inoffensive.  
  
Mino smiled shyly, “I’m not the graduate type.”  
  
I couldn’t help but have to stifle a laugh. The noise was unattractive to say the least. I tried covering it by coughing. Jiyong looked at me with concern.  
  
“What was that?”  
  
“Sorry, sorry. I just… Ah… I remembered a line… Well…” No sunglasses on earth could hide the blush I felt creeping down my face and onto my neck. I abandoned the glasses and looked Mino in the eye, keeping my face as serious as I could.  
  
“What about  _the girls in your class that are smart enough to pass?_ ” Mino leaned back and sighed, the shy smile turning to something like embarrassment across his face.  
  
“They don’t come to my parties so much any more.”  
  
Jiyong glanced between us. He, not so casually, put his arm on the seat back. Not exactly on the seat, but not quite on my shoulders either.  
  
“What are you two talking about?”  
  
“One of my old collaborations with Zico-hyung.”  
  
Jiyong’s jaw tensed at the mention of Zico, but he composed himself so quickly that I couldn’t quite discern what it was.  
  
“So, Luna, did you hear it because you liked Zico or because you liked me?” Mino pulled his best Woobin eyebrows as he asked. We were briefly interrupted by the arrival of our food.  
  
“I don’t remember,” I laughed. “I think I was actually sent a link by a friend because he thought I’d like it since it was, as he put it, ‘ _that Korean rap shit_ ’.”  
  
“Ah, diplomacy strikes. That must mean you like Zico more than me then.”  
  
Jiyong scoffed. I looked at him.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Zico isn’t… Nevermind. You should like Mino more. You’ve never had breakfast with Zico.”  
  
“Does eating have an impact on talent or being a fan? Unless Zico is very rude… That would possibly make me not enjoy his work.”  
  
“Jiyong-hyung just has a slight sore spot about Zico. I’ve never really known why.”  
  
“It’s not important why.”  
  
I raised an eyebrow slightly, but decided to stay silent for the moment. I sipped my tea and sighed contentedly. The warmth from the cup was perfect. I couldn’t help but close my eyes and wiggle slightly, just enjoying the sensation of the heated cup. I heard Jiyong’s now familiar laugh next to me.  
  
“What?” I peeked an eye open at him. He smiled, a real smile, no sarcasm included.  
  
“You’re cute.”  
  
“Ah, so, how long have you two been…” Mino’s voice drew my attention from behind my eyelids.  
  
“Has it really only been a few days? It feels like much longer, doesn’t it jagiya?” Jiyong’s arm was solidly around my shoulder, pulling me in tightly.  
  
“Stop lying Jiyong. We aren’t dating, Mino. I’m just…”  
  
“She’s working on a new project with me.”  
  
I looked at Jiyong. Why isn’t he telling Mino? Is he ashamed about the show? I wouldn’t blame him, it is kind of embarrassing. I raised an eyebrow, but stayed quiet. What do I care?  
  
“You’re a singer then?” Mino looked more interested than he had so far.  
  
“Well, my sister…”  
  
“… And her are both singers.”  
  
_Okay. So, I don’t care if Jiyong wants to hide the show from his junior, but if he was going to keep cutting me off… That’s another issue._  
  
“I can speak for myself Kwon Jiyong.”  
  
Jiyong looked surprised. I couldn’t blame him. Not only had I chastised him publicly, but I had switched back to jondaemal to do so.  
  
Mino just smiled into his coffee cup. At least one of us was amused.  
  
“I’m sorry,” I cued in on Jiyong’s use of banmal. “I guess I’m used to being the go between for foreigners.”  
  
“Your Korean is very good. Have you done work here before?” Mino had apparently decided to ease some of the tension.  
  
“I’ve lived here for five years. I’m lucky that I was able to find work in the city. I only learned Seoul speech, so going somewhere with a strong satoori might have been difficult.”  
  
Mino laughed and started explaining Gyeongsang satoori to me. Jiyong excused himself shortly into the discussion.  
  
“So,” Mino leaned in closer. “What are you really doing with Jiyong?”  
  
“What? I… I don’t know…”  
  
“Oh come on. He was trampling all over you for a reason.”  
  
“It’s a show,” I sighed. I quickly and concisely explained the situation to Mino. He leaned back and looked thoughtful.  
  
“It actually makes sense that they chose you. There was a Japanese politician that made some comments about the Korean attitude towards foreigners a few months ago. I can see how a media company might react. Plus there’s the shock factor.”  
  
“So I’m being used to make a political point? Nice,” I slumped over my plate slightly, leaning my forearms on the table.  
  
“No, it’s not… Probably… I think you deserve the position.”  
  
“That might mean something if I had wanted it.”  
  
“It can’t be that bad. You get to… His pronunciation was so off that he accidentally said adultery instead of motorway. So it’s probably a good thing that you learned Seoul speech first. But learning some satoori might be a good idea.”  
  
Jiyong stood next my seat.  
  
“We should head out soon, Luna. We’ve got a lot to do.”  
  
“Ah, let me just,” I pulled my wallet from my back pocket. Jiyong put a hand on it.  
  
“I already took care of it. Don’t worry. Mino, it was good to see you.”  
  
I stood and bowed to Mino.  
  
“It was nice to meet you Mr. Song.”  
  
He hastily stood and offered me his hand.  
  
“No, no, I enjoyed meeting you. Jiyong-hyung, I’ll see you.”  
  
Jiyong checked his phone again as we walked towards his car. He made sure to open my door for me, and close it once I was settled. It seemed strange to me, but not using public transportation in general seemed strange. _Maybe this is just normal behaviour._

* * *

We drove in amiable silence for a while. Jiyong’s hand rested on the gear shift, every once in a while tapping his rings against it.  
  
“What did you think of Mino?”  
  
I wasn’t surprised by the question. It’s the most natural thing in the world to want to know. But I was still caught off guard, unsure how to answer it.  
  
“He seems nice.”  
  
Jiyong smirked, “Why the cautious voice? You’re unsure if he’s nice?”  
  
“I talked to him for less than an hour, and for a portion of that you were trying to talk for me. What was up with that?”  
  
“I told you. I’m just used to speaking between…”  
  
“I might not know you very well but I’m ninety percent sure you’re lying. Or at least just using that as an excuse.”  
  
Jiyong’s smirk was replaced by an affronted look, “I’m not…”  
  
I cut him off, “look, I don’t care if you want to lie to Mino about why we were hanging out. But I’m an adult. I can speak for myself.”  
  
“I… I didn’t mean to…” He huffed slightly, frustration evident, but his annoyance softened.  
  
“Take your time.”  
  
His jaw worked slightly as he pulled his thoughts together. Finally, “I didn’t want Mino to think that you were only with me because you have to be.”  
  
_Well that’s unexpected._  
  
“What?”  
  
“If I told him about the show, the assumption would be that you were there out of obligation.”  
  
“How… Do you really think that’s the sort of person Mino is?”  
  
“Well… No. Those are just the sort of things that I always consider.”  
  
“We don’t even have cameras with us. We’re obviously not, like, on set.”  
  
An exasperated noise escaped Jiyong’s lips. He grumbled to himself, “why didn’t I think of that?”  
  
I just shrugged at him.  
  
“So where are you kidnapping me to?” Changing the subject seemed like a good idea.  
  
He grinned and flicked his gaze at me momentarily.  
  
“I didn’t plan that meeting, but this next one should be just as good. Actually it might be better.”  
  
“What…”  
  
“Just wait and see. Also, I’m assuming you need things for your suite.”  
  
“I guess. Being able to offer more than water to people would be nice.”  
  
“That’s so European of you. We’ve all been pretty rude not to bring you anything when we intrude on your space. We’re here.”  
  
He pulled into a parking spot. Before getting out he fastened a black mask over his face. He offered me one as well. I took it, but put it in my pocket for now. Once again, he circled the car to open my door and offer me a hand.  
  
“You don’t seem very concerned with manners when it comes to invading my space,” I threw out sarcastically.  
  
“Of course I’m concerned. That’s why I’m paying,” he shut the door with his hip behind me.

* * *

I took a look around. We were at the Noryangjin Fish Market. I’m sure my eyes were straight up glittering in anticipation. My time had come.  
  
I headed straight for one of my favourite stalls. The woman that was usually there was nowhere to be seen, but I recognised her grandson.  
  
“Mr. Kang, is your mother well?” He looked up, a wide smile splitting his face.  
  
“Seonsaengnim! She is well, just taking some rest today with my niece. Your usual?”  
  
“Yes, please. How is Minmo? Are her grades improving?” Jiyong had caught up to me by now. He stood slightly aside, not quite close enough for me to ease an introduction.  
  
“Minnie is doing much better this month,” Kyuwang was wrapping my meat now. He looked up from his work for a moment. “Those focus tips you gave her mother have really helped.”  
  
“It was nothing. I just remember being that age and having similar problems in school. I’m glad she is doing well. She’s very smart. I miss having her in my class.”  
  
Kang Kyuwang handed me my package of thickly cut fish.  
  
“She misses your class as well. Here you are.”  
  
“Thank you Mr. Kang. How much…”  
  
“No, no, Minmo is passing her classes. Mum would kill me for charging you.”  
  
Jiyong finally stepped up behind me. He placed a hand on my arm and bowed to Kyuwang.  
  
“Then charge me, please.”  
  
Kyuwang raised an eyebrow and whistled slightly.  
  
“Ah… So you finally have a boyfriend seonsaengnim?”  
  
“Yah! No, no… He’s just… Jiy-…” I caught myself, not wanting to risk exposing Jiyong. “Ji, help me out?” He smiled and stepped forward, his arm finding my waist again.  
  
“I’m not her boyfriend yet. Give me some time.”  
  
I lifted the package of fish to my face, trying to hide from the entirety of my existence. I peeked over it and watched Jiyong politely joke with Kyuwang as he paid for my fish.  
  
We said our goodbyes and Jiyong led me to the next stall.  
  
“You get a pretty good price from them.”  
  
“I used to teach the granddaughter of the woman that runs the stall.”  
  
“You must be more than that.”  
  
“I tutored her in math and as much science as I could. She’s a smart kid, but had trouble with school,” I shrugged, pausing to examine a tank with live prawns in it. I shivered slightly as I watched them move.  
  
“These always just remind me of those bugs: scutigera coleoptrata… I don’t know what they’re called here.”  
  
When I turned back to Jiyong, he seemed puzzled.  
  
“I, ah, have a friend that’s an entomologist. You said we were meeting someone here?”

* * *

Jiyong’s guiding hand found my elbow. His expression relaxed into his usual smirk again. We traced our way between slabs of ocean life for a while. I eventually put on the black mask that Jiyong had given me earlier.  
  
He must have spotted them, because he changed his grip from a lose hand on my elbow to a tight grip on my hand. He quickened his pace, practically dragging me behind him.  
  
I recognised the lanky form before I saw his face. I tugged at Jiyong’s hand to make him stop.  
  
“Did you seriously… Oh my god. Jiyong-ah…”  
  
Jiyong grinned at my dropping formality. He put a hand on my shoulder.  
  
“I went through your music. I knew he wasn’t very busy so I just asked him if he’d like to meet a fan.”  
  
“I can’t… He’s… I mean…” I felt kind of sick, “Just give me a minute.”  
  
I took a series of deep breaths, trying to convince myself that he was probably a perfectly normal person. He was probably even nice. He seemed nice on shows. He hugged his mum during one of his performances.  _Guys that like their mums are generally pretty chill people, right?_  
  
I was in the middle of this mental preparation when he approached, apparently having spotted Jiyong. He was smiling brightly, his bow to Jiyong followed by clapping his hand into an enthusiastic handshake hug.  
  
“Hyung, I was wondering where you were. I’m glad you messaged me, I had nothing today and Hanbin was definitely going to drag me into work if I didn’t have plans.”  
  
His laugh was loud, but not grating. It sounded genuinely joyful.  
  
“Maybe I shouldn’t have pulled you out today then. If Hanbin thinks you need to work…”  
  
“No, no, no… Besides, how could I resist meeting a fan that  you described as pretty?”  
  
My eyes couldn’t widen any further, but I could feel the heat on my cheeks threatening to ignite the mask I wore. I fell back on  ~~humility~~  self-deprecation to feel a little more comfortable.  
  
“Jiyong-ah… You shouldn’t give people false hope like that.”  
  
Jiwon’s eyes fell on me, his smile somehow getting even wider.  
  
“Yaahhh… With that accent I know you’re American. Don’t act humble just for my sake. You know I’m used to both cultures.”  
  
_God. Looking at him was like looking into the sun._  I knew I should say something, but I couldn’t think of anything good enough. Jiyong nudged me.  
  
“Aish… She wasn’t even this nervous when she met me and the others. What’s so great about Jiwon?”  
  
I shut my eyes tightly for a second, “This is overwhelming. Meeting Mino, meeting Jiwon…”  
  
“So you’re the one that Mino texted me about?”  
  
“What? What did he say?” Jiyong’s tone sharpened slightly.  
  
“Ah… He wanted to know if there were any G Dragon dating rumours. Said he might start one, but that he’d feel bad.”  
  
“But I told him that I’m not Jiyong’s girlfriend!”  
  
“Yah…” Jiyong looked peeved. “You don’t have to say it like it would be so bad. I’m a great boyfriend, when I have the chance to be.”  
  
“This is literally day three of me knowing you. I’m not even sure you’d be an okay boyfriend,” I knew I couldn’t curb the sarcasm, even if I had wanted to try.  
  
Jiwon laughed again. It was a hearty laugh.  _Jeez, how can one person be so cheerful?_  
  
Jiyong feigned a sulky pout, “Luna,” his voice was reproachful. “I think I’ve proven myself to at least be a good candidate.”  
  
“Anyway…” I did not want to get into this conversation. My mind grasped frantically for a different topic.  
  
“Why did you want to meet here hyung?” Thank you Jiwon.  
  
“We need groceries for the hotel.”

* * *

The three of us wandered through the market for a while. Jiyong was careful to keep from being recognised, but Jiwon was less subtle. We stopped a few times for fans that wanted pictures or autographs. Jiyong always slipped back slightly during these interactions, leaving me to be in charge of the fans’ cameras and shopping bags.

  
After a few of these interactions I took my mask off and offered it to Jiwon.  
  
“I swear I’m not sick or gross.”  
  
“Well, you’re certainly not gross.”  
  
I narrowed my eyes slightly as he put it on.  _Was that… Did I just sort of complimented by Kim Ji-friggin-won?_  
  
“Does this mean you two have indirectly kissed? After only a few hours of meeting?”  
  
I wanted to hit Jiyong. Jiwon laughed, but stumbled a bit over his protest. Jiyong sighed dramatically.  
  
“Ah… I guess that I just need to try harder. I can’t compete with Jiwon’s charisma.”  
  
I rolled my eyes so hard that they hurt.  
  
“So, Mr. Kim, do you prefer being called Jiwon or Bobby?”  
  
He thought about it for a minute.  
  
“I think… I’m used to both. I think I’m actually more used to Bobby.”  
  
“So, should I call you Bobby?”  
  
“No. You should call me oppa.”  
  
I slapped my hand over my eyes, subconsciously trying to hide from the greasiness of Jiwon’s statement.  
  
“I set myself up for that. But I’m five years older than you.”  
  
“Noona Luna? And you already met Mino?” Bobby turned to Jiyong, “hyung, I am not the one you need to worry about.”  
  
Eventually Jiyong and I said our goodbyes to Kim Jiwon/Bobby. He told me to keep my guard up.  
  
“Jiyong-hyung is very charming. Be careful not to fall for him.”

* * *

Jiyong brought me to an outdoor market to buy vegetables. After that we stopped by an convenience store for a few other necessities. He insisted on paying for everything. I wasn’t sure how to take it. I mean, sure, he probably has more money than he really knows what to do with, but it was still uncomfortable.  
  
“At least let me cook for you tonight,” I had to make some sort of repayment.  
  
We had arrived back at our temporary home. The bags from the day’s expedition were crowded into the elevator with us.  
  
“You’re going to make the others jealous,” he teased.  
  
“Ah, I have to do something! You drove me around, paid for my groceries, introduced me to Mino and Bobby… I owe you.”  
  
“No you don’t. I wanted to do this.”  
  
I looked up at him. I couldn’t fight the nagging feeling that his kindness today was some sort of power play.  _You’re being paranoid, Luna._  
  
“I still feel like I owe you,” I said quietly. I looked down at my shoes, “even if you’re not expecting anything in return.”  
  
Jiyong closed the space between us, using a nudge as an excuse.  
  
“I can help you cook.”  
  
“That kind of defeats the purpose. It’s probably as close as I’ll get to paying you back though,”I sighed, running my hand through my hair.  
  
Jiyong helped me carry the bags to my suite. We agreed that he’d come back in an hour so that we both could shower. The smell of the fish market wasn’t that bad, but it certainly clung to hair and clothes.  
  
“Don’t start cooking without me!”

* * *

Even after putting everything away and showering I had a good twenty minutes left. I called Soo-ah.  
  
“Tell me everything!”  
  
“Hello to you too.”  
  
“I have caller ID. Now tell me everything!”  
  
“Well, I only have fifteen minutes. Also, maybe you should sit down…”  
  
Soo-ah nearly screamed when I told her I had met Bobby. She gave a wistful groan at my descriptions of Jiyong insisting on paying for everything.  
  
“Ahhh, how romantic.”  
  
“Romantic? I feel like I owe him now.”  
  
“So what are you going to do?”  
  
“He’s coming back up here in… Three minutes. I offered to make him dinner. He said he’d cook with me.”  
  
“Ah, really?! You’re so lucky!”  
  
I made her report on Ttungbo. She was explaining how she was having trouble making him eat when my door buzzed. I bowed and gave an apologetic look to Jiyong as I let him in.  
  
“I’ve never had that problem with him.”  
  
Jiyong gave me a questioning look as I listened to Soo-ah talk. I gave him a “just a minute” gesture.  
  
“Maybe try just staying in the room with him until he finishes?”  
  
One of Jiyong’s eyebrows was in danger of escaping his face. I rolled my eyes at him.  
  
I got off the phone with Soo-ah as quickly as I could. Or, rather, Soo-ah yelled at me to get off the phone when I mentioned Jiyong had arrived.  
  
“Generally, I think it’s just polite to stay in the room until the both of you are finished.”  
  
“What?” He gave me a look, “oh my god, Jiyong. I was giving her dog advice.”

* * *

Cooking with him was nice. He was a little silly, but only when appropriate. He would nudge me and joke around as I was flipping fish pieces, but would be serious while either of us was cutting anything.  
  
I was struck by how much more comfortable I had become with Jiyong over the course of the day. There was no doubt that I was still a bit reserved, but I wasn’t panicking at being alone with him.  _Was that why he wanted to hang out today? Exchanging time and money for comfort?_  I paused for a moment, closing my eyes and chasing away such negative thoughts. _I am not so awful that someone needs an ulterior motive to want to spend time with me._  
  
As we ate we talked about the day. Jiyong asked me about teaching English and my students. We eventually ended up talking about my family. I explained that my mother had been a teacher, my sister a struggling musician and waitress, my grandmother a secretary to politicians. He seemed genuinely interested, but it was difficult to see it as truly captivating conversation.  
  
As we were cleaning up the dishes from dinner, my phone started going off.  
  
     **From: Seungri**  
     **Have you eaten? We should get dinner.**  
  
I laughed, drawing Jiyong’s attention away from the soapy dishes.  
  
“Who is it?”  
  
“Seungri, he wants to get dinner.”  
  
     _ **To: Seungri**_  
     _ **We literally just finished eating.**_  
  
“Ah, he’s probably trying to get close to you.”  
  
“Says the guy that spent all day buying my groceries,” I pointed out.  
  
     **From: Seungri**  
     **We? You and I can get desert then. Or coffee?**  
  
“That’s different. I’m… older.”  
  
“So?” I looked at Jiyong. “What does being older have to do with it?”  
  
“I’m supposed to take care of you. I’m older, and I’m the leader.”  
  
“I see,” I turned my gaze back to my phone, “so it’s like a job for you.”  
  
     _ **To: Seungri**_  
     _ **Sure. Let me know when you have eaten.**_  
  
Jiyong made a frustrated noise.  
  
“That’s not… It’s proper for me to do that. Like how you always offer something when someone comes over. It’s the right thing to do, but that doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy doing it.”  
  
I thought about this as I dried off a plate and put it away.  
  
“I guess. I mean, I’m more comfortable with giving than receiving gifts or favours.”  
  
“You see it as your place to take care of people. That’s my place too. So stop worrying.”  
  
“That still makes it sound like an obligation.”  
  
Jiyong dried his hands and tossed the towel on the counter. He turned to face me, leaning with his hands on the sink edge behind him. He looked me up and down.  
  
“I’m going to touch you. Not in an inappropriate way. Just… as a friend.” His hands moved to be raised slightly, palms forward. He hesitated, then asked, “is that okay?”  
  
I shrugged.  
  
“Sure. But I reserve the right to smack you if you get too handsy.”  
  
He laughed at that, but nodded in agreement.  
  
Jiyong stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. His arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders.  
  
“Stop telling yourself whatever it is that your doubt is saying. I could have done anything today, and I chose to go out with you.”  
  
He pulled back, leaving his hands on my shoulders, looking down at me.  
  
“I didn’t have to take care of you. I wanted to.”  
  
He let go of me and turned back to the sink.  
  
“I’ll finish this. Go put on something red or gold,” he spoke over his shoulder to me. “Those are Seungri’s favourite colours.”

* * *

I opened the door to a well dressed Seungri. Very well dressed.  _Damn it._  
  
“Wow, okay… Should I change?” I gestured to my jeans as I asked him. He looked me up and down, an appreciative look on his face.  
  
“Well,  **I** think you look great.”  
  
“But…?”  
  
“Maybe something a little nicer?” He tapped his fingers against his pockets nervously.  
  
“Fine. But you’re helping me,” I sighed.  
  
He followed me to the bedroom. He stopped at the doorway, not actually entering it. I started pulling some clothes out of the closet. I laid out a few outfits on the bed  
  
“It’s a shame I have to do this right now. I only just got this all cleaned away after Jiyong left.”  
  
“You had dinner with Jiyong?” Seungri’s voice was a little too casual as he leaned on the doorframe.  
  
“I practically spent the whole day with him. How about this?” I held up a pair of slacks and a top. He shook his head.  
  
“That looks like you’re going to work. What did you two do all day?”  
  
“We went to Noryangjin,” I tossed the clothes back onto the bed. I rummaged through the closet again. “I met Mino and Bobby. Can you… well of course you can imagine. This?”  
  
Seungri dismissed my choice again.  
  
“No. What did you think of them?”  
  
“Mino is sharp. Bobby is… how could one person have so much energy all the time?” I was going through clothes on the rack. I suspected that nothing I owned would really live up to the standard that Seungri’s suit was setting.  
  
Seungri’s arm darted forwards over my shoulder, stopping me from passing by a top. I jumped a little, having thought he was still by the door.  
  
“This one is good.”  
  
“Aigo… really?” It was a little flashy for my taste. Soo-ah had obviously packed it with dance clubs in mind.  
  
“Yeah. Why? You don’t like it? I bet it looks great on you,” Seungri smiled. He held the top up, next to me, his eyes darting between me and the shirt. His smile widened slightly, his voice slowing, “it will definitely look good on you.”  
  
I plucked the shirt from his hand.  
  
“This is weird. Do you usually choose the clothes of your friends? This must be what Barbie feels like.”  
  
He raised an eyebrow at that.  
  
“You asked for my help. If you don’t like the shirt, don’t wear it. I wouldn’t mind,” his voice was in a flirtatious pitch for his last statement. I put my hands on his shoulders and, after turning him around, walked him out of my room.  
  
“Okay you deviant, out of my room. I’m choosing.”

* * *

After some back and forth, and several coat changes, we finally left. Seungri handed me a face mask when we got to the elevator. I put it on, and he placed one over his own face. I pulled mine down, under my chin.  
  
“So where are we going? I thought we were just getting coffee?”  
  
“Well… yes. Technically. You  **can**  get coffee there,” he said coyly.  
  
“Aish, you boys and your secret plans. It wouldn’t kill you to give me some warning you know.” I crossed my arms and gave Seungri a petulant glare. He just smiled, looping his arm through mine.  
  
“Hush. It will be fun.”

* * *

It could have been worse. The bar was nice, and slightly European style. Instead of the usual private booths, the tables were out in the open. There was even seating at the bar. It instantly put me at ease, feeling a little familiar. It was definitely a nice change from the kinds of places my co-workers and friends would bring me to.  
  
“I was worried that you were bringing me to some dance club or something. You were acting so,” I waved my hands around vaguely, “suspiciously.”  
Seungri laughed.  
  
“What did Jiyong do to you today that you’re so careful?” He paused to order drinks from the bartender. He turned back to me, for once not wearing a look designed to charm. He clasped his hands together, “you don’t need to be guarded around me.”  
  
“That’s exactly what someone I should be guarded against would say.”  
  
“That’s true,” he nodded. He spread his hands out, a what’s to be done gesture, “but I’m trying to be mindful of what we talked about last night. Your worries aren’t totally unfounded. Even if I can’t relate, there must be some reason for you to feel that way.”  
  
The bartender returned with two cups. Seungri handed him a card. We each took a glass, and Seungri led the way to a table.  
  
“But take my table choice as an example.”  
  
I looked at the table. It was… a table. I gave Seungri a quizzical look.  
  
“The positioning. We’re in a more open area. I’d prefer one of the ones in the back. Those are more private, better for talking. But this one is safer. If I do anything offensive or dangerous you’ve got a clear shot to the door.”  
  
“Who are you trying to convince?” I traced a flower in the condensation left by the cups on the tabletop.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Pointing out how kind you’re being kind of robs it of sincerity. Like you’re doing for a reward instead of because you care.”  
  
“Yah, it’s not like that,” he made an X with his arms. He leaned forward, “I just wanted to show you that I’m thinking about the things you said.”  
  
“Ah, what can you do? You’ll never win with me. I’m just too suspicious.”  
  
Seungri’s tongue darted out a little, wetting his lips. His eyes glinted as he replied, “I’ll win. Just wait.”

* * *

Despite his cockiness and slightly over the top flirting, Seungri was surprisingly not insufferable. Our conversation wasn’t as deep or hypothetical as it had been the night before, but it was pleasant nonetheless.

He kept ordering drinks for us. I tried quelling my suspicious side at it.  _This is what people do at bars. Three beers isn’t that much. He is not trying to get you drunk._  As I finished my fourth drink, he stood again, reaching for the empty glass. I put a hand on his arm.  
  
“Just water for me. Or soda. Or anything without alcohol in it, please.”  
  
He stared at me for a second, confused. Then his face flexed into worry.  
  
“I’m not… I’m sorry, I should have asked if you… I wasn’t trying to…” I grinned at his flustered state.  
  
“I know. I’m not saying you were. I just want to limit myself.”  
  
“Limit yourself?” Seungri smiled. He made a pseudo-seductive face at me, “are you afraid you won’t be able to control yourself?”  
  
I just laughed at him and waved him off towards the bar. He quickly returned, carrying two cups of what turned out to be Chilsung cider. I nodded my thanks to him as he sat down across from me.  
  
“Shouldn’t I be paying for a couple rounds?” It wasn’t the first time I had offered, but it seemed appropriate to say it again.  
  
“No,” he replied simply. He leaned back in his seat, sipping at his drink.  
  
“You know, just because I’m not drinking any more doesn’t mean you have to stop.”  
  
“I know. But if you’re worried about your self-control then maybe…”  
  
“I’m not worried…”  
  
“… I should worry about mine.”  
  
My turn to lean back.  _It was probably just weird phrasing._  I squinted at him.  
  
“Do you often have self-control issues?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Then why would you need to stop drinking too?”  
  
“So that I don’t make you uncomfortable.”  
  
“I’ve had to physically carry my male friends out of bars before. I think I know how to handle a drunk guy without getting too uncomfortable.”  
  
He didn’t reply. He just swirled his cider around his cup a bit and took another sip. He stared at me as he put his glass down, calm and…  _challenging? Competitive? What is that look?_  I didn’t know, but the hairs on the back of my neck pricked up slightly under the intensity.  
  
I couldn’t help but notice that how quiet he was was directly related to how much alcohol was in his system. He had getting steadily less talkative, but obviously still retaining his flirtatious energy streak. I desperately needed to fill the silence.  
  
“I thought people got more confident when they drank. But you’re just quiet.”  
  
“I am more confident.”  
  
“Then why the silent treatment?” I pouted playfully at him, “am I just being bad company?”  
  
“Of course not,” he leaned forward in his chair, leaning his arms against the table. His movement made me acutely aware of how small the table really was. The proximity of one of his hands warmed the air against mine. He smiled, “I just don’t want to scare you off.”  
  
I grimaced at him, biting back the urge to laugh.  
  
“Ah,  **there’s**  the confidence. Big manly Seungri has to hold back so he doesn’t frighten delicate flower Luna. I see.” I closed my eyes as I nodded as if I had finally mastered a difficult concept in class.  
  
I was glad he was able to laugh at himself. He kept making sly comments, and I kept teasing him about it. He was able to laugh it off and dish back without going over the line. It made for a nice time out, as if I was hanging out with a normal friend instead of an idol.

* * *

I excused myself to the bathroom at one point. My phone had been vibrating and I didn’t want to be rude and check it in front of him.  
  
I stood next to the hand drier and checked my phone. I had missed calls from both Soo-ah and Jiyong. Soo-ah had left a voicemail, but Jiyong had opted to leave texts instead. I listened to Soo-ah’s voicemail first.  
  
“Unniiieeee! I saw the ads for the show today. Please tell me that you did NOT ACTUALLY SHOW YOUR TATTOOS TO JIYONG-OPPA! Do you have no shame?! Aish! You’re going to kill me! I love you, be careful.”  
  
I laughed as I listened to her yelling at me. I had no idea what sort of editing they had done for the ads, but I was 90% sure that Soo-ah was overreacting. I scrolled through the texts from Jiyong.  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **Still out with Seungri?**  
  
     **From Jiyong**  
     **I guess so.**  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **This is a little late for coffee. Or dessert.**  
  
I couldn’t help but grin as I texted him back.  
  
     _ **To: Jiyong**_  
     _ **Are you getting jealous? Or is this just you looking out for me again?**_  
  
I looked in the mirror, straightening out my shirt and just doing a general once over. My phone vibrated nearly instantly.  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **I’m concerned is all**  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **I don’t get jealous.**  
  
     ** _To: Jiyong_**  
     ** _That sounds fake as hell but okay._**  
  
I put my phone away before I got lost in a conversation with Jiyong. I headed back out Seungri.  
  
There was a woman talking to him. I would have expected him to be eating up the attention, but he actually looked bored. He smiled as he saw me walking back. I pointed at myself and then at the door, miming to ask if I should leave him alone. He gave me a don’t even joke look, then cocked his eyebrow and jerked his head to call me over. He looked back at the woman and said something. She looked a little put off, but walked away without issue.  
  
Seungri turned back to me. I blushed slightly as I saw the way he looked me up and down. I was pulling my chair out so that I could sit back down when he stood suddenly. He looped his arm around my waist and pulled me in close. I was surprised.  
  
“What are you…”  
  
“I may have told a slight lie to that woman,” he spoke quietly into my hair. I realised he was shielding his lips from being read.  
  
“Let me guess,” I tilted my head to look up at him, but also so that I wasn’t facing the woman that was now watching from the bar. I rolled my eyes, “you told her you were on a date?”  
  
“Something like that,” he brushed my hair back from my face. I tried not to laugh at the display. Seungri looked at my lips, licking his own slightly. I widened my eyes and pressed my lips together.  
  
“Whatever it is you’re thinking, you need to stop.”  
  
“I figured,” he pulled back slightly. His hand moved from my waist to my hand, “let’s go. It’s getting late anyway.”


	4. Intro Week: Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiyong's got jokes. The whole group goes for an interview about the show. Seungri continues to surprise. Luna gets a little more comfortable with cameras and questions. T.O.P makes remarks, Jiyong defends. Soo-ah tries to encourage more cuteness. T.O.P gets out of hand, Seungri tells Luna how to handle it.

I was already awake, showered, and nearly dressed, when Seungri texted me.

     **From: Seungri**  
**Can I walk you to breakfast?**  
  
**From: Seungri**  
**I can be there in fifteen minutes.**  
  
**_To: Seungri_**  
**_Sure. I’ll be ready in five._**  
  
**From: Seungri**  
**Is that a challenge? Because I can go faster.**  
  
**_To: Seungri_**  
**_No? Take your time. Brush your teeth._**  
  
I was in the middle of doing my makeup when my door buzzed. That had not been fifteen minutes. Seungri must have let his competitive side win.  
  
“Seungri I told you…”  
  
_Or not._  Jiyong stood in front of my door. His smile looked like it was trying too hard.  
  
“Expecting Seungri?”  
  
I nodded, backing up to invite Jiyong in. He hesitated, pouting slightly.  
  
“Maybe I should go. I can see when I'm unwanted.”  
  
“Oh my god,” I rolled my eyes. I jerked my head in a get in here motion, “who cares? Come in already.”  
  
Jiyong grinned and came in. I headed back towards the bathroom.  
  
“I just need to finish up real quick. Seungri should be here soon.”  
  
Jiyong followed me. He leaned against the door frame, watching me as I applied my eyeliner.  
  
I glanced at him in the mirror as I capped the liner and picked up my eyebrow pencil. His face looked soft and… Something else.  
  
“What’s that look for?” I leaned forward and started filling in my brows.  
  
“What look?”  
  
I gave him a reflected unamused expression.  
  
“The… I don’t know. Disney look.”  
  
“Disney look?” Jiyong laughed, “what’s the Disney look?”  
  
“Never mind. Which of these would be better?” I held up two lipstick tubes. He took them both and uncapped them.  
  
“They’re both a little dark.”  
  
“So? Which is better?”  
  
“Pink would…”  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” I rolled my eyes, “but out of these two, which is better?”  
  
“The wine, I guess.”  
  
I plucked them both back out of his hand. I tossed the wine onto the counter and applied the mahogany.  
  
“But the wine…” He was cut off by the door buzzing.  
  
I brushed past him to go open the door.  
  
“Jiyong, I learned a long time ago not to,” I swung the door open and casually waved Seungri in, “give a single damn about what men prefer.”  
  
I walked back to the bathroom to put away my makeup.  
  
“Then why ask?”  
  
“Nine times out of ten, the opposite option is the one that actually looks better.”  
  
“Am I… interrupting?” Seungri stood in the entryway, glancing from Jiyong to me.  
  
“What? No. What do…”  
  
“Ah, Seungri, if I knew you were coming I would have left earlier,” Jiyong winked at me, throwing an arm over my shoulder before turning to Seungri. I pushed him slightly.  
  
“Yah, do you always have to make it sound like that? Aigo… This boy thinks he’s so funny.”  
  
“Boy?”  
  
“Ah, it looks like you don’t need me to escort you down,” Seungri turned slightly towards the door.  
  
I grabbed his arm, stopping him from leaving.  
  
“Aish, stop sulking. Just let me put my shoes on and all three of us can go down together.”

* * *

When we got to breakfast, Daesung and T.O.P were already there. T.O.P looked like a colonialist painting. He was reading a newspaper, sipping coffee, and had a plate with toast and egg on it in front of him. Daesung had some sort of seared meat in front of him. He had his phone in hand and seemed to be playing a game.  
  
T.O.P spared us a glance over the top of his newspaper. Daesung actually put down his phone at our approach.  
  
“Where’s Youngbae?” Jiyong asked in lieu of a greeting.  
  
“Not here yet,” the newspaper replied.  
  
“I can see that.”  
  
The three of us took our seats. I ended up between Seungri and T.O.P.  
  
Everyone was apparently in a quiet mood. They each took out some distraction device. I followed suit, checking my emails and social media.  
  
I was part way through reading a message from an old roommate in America when Taeyang joined us.  
  
“Good morning Taeyang.”  
  
He just nodded in response, his eyes not quite open. I checked the time. 9:04.  _Wasn’t this the man that made me go to the gym at stupid o'clock yesterday morning?_  
  
The meal continued in silence. We were all finished when Chul and the rest of the production team showed up.  
  
I smiled and said good morning to Chul. The newspaper made a “tch!” noise.  
  
The group stayed in their morning haze on the ride to the interview. I wasn’t particularly tired, but the silence and motion of the van lulled me back to sleep. When we arrived I was gently shook awake by Daesung, whose shoulder I had been sleeping on.  
  
I embarrassedly apologised to him.  
  
“No, it’s fine. But, here,” Daesung rubbed at my lip with his thumb.  
  
“Ah… What are you doing hyung?” Seungri stood in front of the van’s door. He looked a little angry. Daesung raised his hands up in a defensive manner.  
  
“Ah, nothing. Her lipstick got smudged on my jacket is all.”  
  
Seungri held a hand out towards me, but he kept his gaze on Daesung. I looked back and forth between them for a second before letting Seungri help me out of the van. I heard Daesung make a small exasperated noise behind me.

* * *

As we walked into the building, Seungri kept closer to me than usual. His arm and hand kept brushing against me as we walked, but he wasn’t in his usual playful mood. Even in the dressing room he stayed firmly next to me. The only time he left me alone was when he had to go change his shirt and get his makeup done.  
  
Jiyong came and stood next to me, his arms crossed.  
  
“What’s with him?” Jiyong nodded in Seungri’s direction. I looked over at him. He was flicking his eyes in my direction in between the makeup artist’s ministrations.  
  
“Doesn’t it make more sense to ask him?”  
  
“Nope. Not until he chills. What happened?” Jiyong leaned in closer, lowering his voice. “Was he jealous that you fell asleep on Daesung?”  
  
I just shrugged. Seungri’s expression remained flat, but his jaw tightened slightly as Jiyong kept talking to me. The makeup artist finished up and Seungri headed in our direction.  
  
“Hush,” I warned Jiyong. He turned and leaned against the wall next to me.  
  
“Ah, they’re playing up your aegyo-sal. They must want you to look youthful Seungri.”  
  
“Maybe. She says you’re next Luna.”  
  
“What? Next for what?” My heart started racing. Why would I need…  
  
“Makeup. Go, she’s waiting,” Seungri pushed me towards the woman that was wielding brushes and BB cream.  
  
I sat in the chair and she immediately started wiping my makeup off. She was quiet as she cleaned and applied makeup, only giving short orders for me to look this way, close my eyes, blot.  
  
When she was done I looked in the mirror. It wasn’t the best. All soft pinks, browns, and more highlighter than I had worn since I had stopped cosplaying.  
  
I headed over to Jiyong, who was now lounging next to Daesung.  
  
“Okay, first off…”  
  
“You look cute,” Jiyong interrupted.  
  
“… I hate it,” I pouted. Daesung laughed loudly.  
  
“Why? Jiyong’s right, you’re cute.”  
  
“Second off, why do I even need makeup?”  
  
“They’ll probably zoom to you in the audience or something.”  
  
I sank onto the sofa between them. I didn’t say anything, opting instead to just express my discomfort through body language. I leaned back, closing my eyes and just trying to forget my life.

* * *

I must have dozed off again. A hand brushed my some stray hairs from my forehead. My eyes shot open to see T.O.P standing above and behind me. I jerked my head up.  
  
“Heol!”  
  
“Hmm?” Jiyong glanced over. Seeing T.O.P he jumped slightly.  
  
“Aish hyung, how are you always so quiet?!”  
  
“Maybe you just don’t listen well,” T.O.P placed his hands on the back of the sofa, leaning forward slightly. I could feel lapel of his jacket brush against the back of my head.  
  
“What are you watching?”  
  
“Drama,” Jiyong handed his phone to T.O.P.  
  
They talked about it a little bit. I noticed that Daesung was now in the makeup chair. I looked around, spotting Taeyang asleep on another sofa. Seungri was nowhere to be seen.  
  
It was nice to be sitting there so normally. Nobody was playing any characters or anything. We were all just people waiting for something. It reminded me of the clusters of students at universities that would gather outside classrooms before their classes start.  
  
Forgetting how close T.O.P was, i moved to lean back again. My head was stopped by his stomach.  
  
“Oh, sorry T.O.P, I’m not quite awake yet,” I wasn’t sure why I was so formal with him. It just seemed like a good choice.  
  
“Seunghyun.”  
  
At first I thought I might have just misheard him, or that he had said some word I wasn’t familiar with.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Seunghyun. My name is Seunghyun.”  
  
“Oh, sorry Seunghyun.”  
  
I stood up and stretched. I was still kind of groggy. Having nothing to do was getting to me.  
  
“Would it be okay for me to walk around a bit? If I stay here I’ll just fall asleep again.”  
  
Jiyong checked his watch.  
  
“Yeah, just try to be back in… Twenty minutes.”  
  
I nodded and headed for the door.  
  
“You have your phone?” Jiyong called after me.  
  
I just took it out of my pocket and held it up in response. I closed the door after me and looked around.

* * *

Blank white hallways, grey floor, doors with numbers and titles on them. Boring, and probably easy to get lost in. I pulled my phone out and started walking. Every time I took a turn I sent myself a text with reverse directions.  
  
Five minutes into my incredibly boring exploration I heard a voice call my name.  
  
“Luna-yah! Wrong way!”  
  
I turned around, being greeted by Seungri jogging towards me.  
  
“Wrong way for what?” I smiled at him. I was glad to have a potential exploration partner.  
  
“The bathroom is that way.”  
  
“Oh. I’m not looking for the bathroom,” I turned and kept going the way I had been. Seungri fell in step next to me.  
  
“Then what are you doing out here?”  
  
“I kept falling asleep. And Seunghyun was… I don’t know…” I tried to work out how to phrase what I wanted to say.  
  
“T.O.P hyung was bothering you? I could talk…”  
  
“No, no. Not like that,” I glanced down a hallway. It seemed as good of a direction as any. I continued speaking as I texted myself, “he was just… being nice? It was weird.”  
  
Seungri laughed as he followed me.  
  
“Is that why you’re using his real name?”  
  
“He told me to. I think. It was more like he was correcting me.”  
  
Seungri sighed heavily. I looked at him curiously.  
  
“What’s with this heavy atmosphere?”  
  
“It’s nothing. Your makeup is pretty, by the way.”  
  
I scrunched my face at him.  
  
“I hate it. I didn’t want to be pretty today. Or cute.”  
  
“I didn’t say you were cute.”  
  
“Jiyong did.”  
  
We walked in silence. I was finally becoming a little more comfortable with being followed by Chul. Eventually we ended up approaching the dressing room from the opposite direction than I had left it. I was about to open the door when Seungri stopped me. He put his hand on the knob, stopping me from pushing it open.  
  
“Ah, I wanted to… I’m sorry about last night.”  
  
I glanced at Chul, then looked back at Seungri.  
  
“For what?”  
  
“That woman,” he started twitching his fingers. “I told her we were together. That wasn’t fair of me. It was just the easiest way to get rid of her.”  
  
“Oh. Okay. That’s fine. That’s what friends are for, right?” I smiled at him as I said it. “I’ve done the same thing loads of times. No worries.”  
  
I moved towards the door again. I found myself cut off by Seungri again.  
  
“Right. But after… I didn’t have to get that close. I just… It was excessive. So I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”  
  
“Um… Okay. Maybe for a second I was. But once I realised what was going on it was fine. I got your back,” I made a face like an overconfident saviour. I nodded to the door, “now let’s go in.”  
  
Seungri moved aside, and I pushed into the room.  
  
Taeyang was still asleep. He must have woken up at some point though. His face was now flawlessly smooth and uniform in tone. The makeup artist was nowhere to be seen.  
  
Jiyong looked up as we entered. He had a bunch of papers in his hands. His gaze flicked at Seungri for a second before locking onto me.  
  
“You’re not going to like this.”

* * *

I stood at the side of the stage area, hidden from the audience. I wanted to pitch a fit. I wanted to leave. I wanted to faint. I wanted a strong drink. I wanted to go put my normal clothes on instead of this get-up that had been picked out for me. Instead of any of that I simply made sure that I kept a steady breathing pace.  
  
I listened to the audience’s reactions to the boys conversation with the hosts of the show. Laughs, exaggerated sighs, hums of approval and agreement. Keep breathing.  
  
The tech/attendant that was next to me stiffened slightly. _Shit_. She turned to me, holding up a finger. _Shit_. She lowered her finger and gestured for me to enter the stage area.  
  
Jiyong had gone over my entrance with me a few times in the dressing room. I replayed the conversation in my head.

     “Walk towards where the hosts are. Bow to both. Don’t offer a handshake, but accept if they offer one. Bow on the shake again.”

     “I know how to be polite.”

     “Follow their lead,” he kept on, ignoring my interruption. “They may keep you standing for introductory questions. There will be a seat for you near us. Wait for their cue to sit down.”

     “I’m pretty sure I can manage Jiyong.”

     “Now is not the time to be…” Jiyong paused, trying to find the right word.

     “Confident?” Daesung offered.

     “Obstinate,” Seunghyun intoned. So much for him being nice.

     Jiyong looked at me kindly, but a little worried, “just go along with it.”

I walked towards the two men that were hosting. I had already forgotten their names.  _Great_.

I clasped my hands in front of me and bowed to both of them, falling back on greeting them both as songsaenim.

“Waa… Do I really look so old?” The question was from the obviously older of the two. I politely protested. The younger of the two gave his hyung a gentle shove.  
  
“Yah, hyung, you’re going to embarrass her.”  
  
“Okay, okay. Miss Luna, please tell us about yourself.”  
  
“Ah, what to say? I’m currently a teacher.”  
  
“English teacher?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“So it’s lucky that this filming is going on during the summer break.”  
  
“Yes. I don’t know how this would have worked otherwise.”  
  
“Where are you from?”  
  
“America. Near New York and Boston.”  
  
“So you’re a metropolitan girl.”  
  
“No, no. I lived between the cities. I actually lived in a house that was near a lot of woods.”  
  
“Lots of nature. That’s good. It’s good to be near nature. You must have had much fresher air there.”  
  
“Ah, maybe, but I don’t mind the air here.”  
  
“Even the days where you need a mask?”  
  
“I like masks. It’s like wearing a disguise. Hiding and just watching people.”  
  
“Voyeurism?”  
  
“No! Not like that! Aigo… I just… I like becoming part of the background.”  
  
“Ai… Hyung let’s let this shy girl sit down. There are too many eyes on her right now.”  
  
“Yes, alright. Our Miss Luna, everyone.”  
  
I bowed to the hosts and the audience before taking the open seat between Jiyong and Daesung. This put me squarely in the middle of the five members, since we were sat in two rows of three.  
  
Daesung nudged me, giving me an encouraging smile. Jiyong put a hand on my shoulder. He leaned over to whisper in my ear while the audience clapped politely.  
  
“Yah yah yah, Jiyong. What’s this secret over here?” The elder host put him on the spot. Jiyong smiled and demurely answered.  
  
“No secrets hyung. I was just telling her that she did well.”  
  
“He actually spent ten minutes coaching her before we came out,” Seunghyun inserted.  
  
“Really? Were you that nervous Luna?”  
  
“I think Jiyong was more nervous than me. He just kept repeating himself.”  
  
“That’s true. He just kept telling her when to bow and how to stand.” Jiyong sighed at Daesung’s words.  
  
“No, no. I just wanted to reassure Luna. Hearing those sorts of things helps, even if you already know them.”  
  
“That’s true. Like looking over notes before a test.” The younger host nodded.  
  
“You were well prepared Luna.”  
  
“I guess so. It felt a little like a lecture. Like a mother reminding you to take your scarf.”  
  
Daesung and the hosts laughed. Daesung clapped his hands as he was wracked by his giggles.  
  
“No, no. I’m not… Aigo…”  
  
“You are like a mother sometimes,” Taeyang leaned forward to put a hand on Jiyong’s shoulder. Jiyong only nodded and sighed.  
  
“Now one of you has been very quiet this whole time. Especially since Luna came out.”  
  
“That’s true, that’s true. He’s been watching her as well.”  
  
Jiyong, ever the moderator, jumped in to attempt to diffuse the potential situation.  
  
“It’s probably because she looks so different today. This isn’t her normal style at all.”  
  
“Yes, that’s right. The noonas changed her outfit and makeup, so this is really a different look for her than what we saw before,” Taeyang piped up.  
  
“I like it,” Seunghyun interjected, “she looks more ladylike this way. It’s more my taste.”  
  
My cheeks were burning. I raised my hands to cover them while the boys talked about the difference between my regular style and the interview outfit.  
  
“You will see if you watch our show. Luna prioritises comfort first, and her personal style second. She doesn’t worry about whether we, or any other men, like it.” Jiyong clapped a hand on my knee and shook it slightly.  
  
“Ah, well that’s good. Luna, you don’t mind what the oppas think of your style?” The elder host pulled me back into the conversation.  
  
“I don’t see why I should worry about it. When they get dressed in the morning that they aren’t thinking ‘will this impress Luna?’ They’re thinking 'do I like this?’ 'Does this feel comfortable?’ So that’s what I do too.”  
  
“That’s not to say she doesn’t dress well,” Jiyong butt in.  
  
“And she’ll dress up a bit if she has to. If we go somewhere nice…”  
  
“We haven’t gone anywhere nice yet,” Daesung interrupted Seungri.  
  
I covered my mouth and looked at Jiyong, silently begging him to derail this. He shrugged slightly, giving me a _too late now_ look.  
  
“Waa… Sounds like a secret date. What’s the story there?” The elder host leaned forward in his seat.  
  
I responded quickly, not entirely trusting Seungri to give an accurate answer.  
  
“We had the day off from filming yesterday. I didn’t have anything planned, so Jiyong and I went to Noryangjin and a few other places to get groceries.”  
  
“Ah, Jiyong really is like a mother. Very practical,” the elder host nodded.  
  
“That’s a bit like a date though. It’s something a couple would do,” the younger added.  
  
“No, no, it wasn’t like that.”  
  
“I just knew that she didn’t have any food in her suite.”  
  
“Yes. It was a friendly thing to do.”  
  
“I see, I see… But you wouldn’t need to dress up to go shopping.”  
  
“Yes, I didn’t dress up until later. Seungri invited me to go get coffee after dinner. When he showed up to pick me up, he was dressed very nicely. It was obvious that wherever he had in mind had a higher standard for clothes.”  
  
“I see. It was a good outfit too,” the younger host had a glint in his eye.  
  
“What? How do…”  
  
My question was answered when a picture was displayed on the screen between the hosts and us. There was Seungri and I, sitting at the table. It must have been when I was teasing him or something because we were both laughing.  
  
“Somebody there posted a few pictures on SNS. Next one…”  
  
The picture changed. I knew exactly when this one was taken. We were standing, and Seungri had his arm around my waist. We were very close. I buried my face in my hands as Jiyong and Daesung started laughing and nudging me. Seunghyun asked Seungri for an explanation.  
  
“Aigo… It really… It’s not what you think. Luna was just…”  
  
“I went to the bathroom. When I came back there was a woman flirting with Seungri. I did one of these,” I repeated the gesture from last night, “to ask if he wanted me to leave…”  
  
“But this woman wasn’t really my type, so I motioned her back over. I had lied to the woman, saying I was waiting for my girlfriend.”  
  
“Trying to let her down kindly then,” the elder host nodded, apparently understanding the situation, or at least having some sympathy.  
  
“Yes. So when Luna came back I pulled her in close so that I could tell her what happened without the woman overhearing.”  
  
“How did you react, Luna?”  
  
“I wasn’t mad or anything. It’s something that happens sometimes. I’ve even had to do it before. It’s the sort of thing that friends simply do for each other.”  
  
“So you consider the members to be your friends?”  
  
“Ah, maybe… maybe not all of them. For example, Seunghyun only today gave me permission to use his first name instead of his stage name.”  
  
“We have some more photos from yesterday you know.”  
  
This time, the screen showed a collage of photos. There was Bobby and I at Noryangjin. In a few of the photos you could see Jiyong, though he wasn’t obviously recognisable.  
  
“Ah, I had gone through her iPod and seen his music in there. I knew that he wasn’t very busy, so I invited him to meet us as a surprise. We accidentally met Mino as well at breakfast.”  
  
“I still feel like yesterday didn’t really happen. It’s so crazy to me to have met all of these people in such a short amount of time.”  
  
The interview went on like this. The hosts would joke around, we would have to play along a bit. Jiyong would always dive in whenever he thought anything was getting too off the rails.

* * *

We were finally able to take a break for a minute to regroup. Jiyong pulled me aside.  
  
“You’re doing well. How do you feel?”  
  
“I keep telling myself that I’m the only one that notices my mistakes.”  
  
After a few minutes we were pulled back onto the stage area. The interview continued a little bit. The hosts asked if I had a preference yet.  
  
“I’ve only known them for a few days, but Jiyong, Seungri, and Daesung are the ones I know the best so far. I guess if I had to choose right now it would be one of them.”  
  
They asked the members who they thought I would choose. Jiyong and Taeyang said Daesung. Seunghyun and Seungri said Jiyong. Daesung said Seungri.  
  
“Yah! How come Daesung-hyung is the only one with faith in me?”  
  
“Daesung is an optimist,” Seunghyun blithely remarked.  
  
“Hyung!”  
  
The interview finally wrapped up with a few questions about the timing of the release of the show. They asked what channel it was on, what hour, etc. Jiyong answered those questions and, if I’m being honest, I wasn’t really paying attention to what he said. I was mostly just looking forward to the interview being over.

* * *

I sighed with relief as I slipped into my normals clothes. I didn’t have my makeup with me, so I was temporarily stuck with the baby doll look that the cordis had given me. I snapchatted a selfie to Soo-ah. I captioned it with “Idol ideal: I hate it”  
  
She texted me back after a minute.  
  
    **From: Sooooo AH**  
**You look pretty!**  
  
**_To: Sooooo AH  
    _ _Don’t even start._**  
  
**From: Sooooo AH**  
**Don’t be so dramatic.**  
  
**From: Sooooo AH**  
**You act like being pretty is a bad thing.**  
  
**From: Sooooo AH**  
**You’re not any less tough for wearing pink lip gloss.**  
  
**From: Sooooo AH**  
**Just look at Bobby.**  
  
**_To: Sooooo AH  
    I hate to be the one to tell you this…  
  
    To: Sooooo AH  
    Bobby isn’t that tough in real life.  
  
    To: Sooooo AH  
    I’m blaming the lip gloss._**  
  
The ride back to the hotel was punctuated by Seunghyun snoring and Taeyang grumpily nudging him to make him stop. Evidently the caffeine had worn off.  
  
I was wedged between Jiyong and Seungri. Daesung had joked that since I was the closest to them that it was only proper. It was a little tense. I leaned back, careful not to touch either of them too much. Everything felt awkward for some reason.  
  
“Is there anything else today? The schedule just had the interview, right?”  
  
Jiyong nodded and hummed an agreement.  
  
“What do you all want to do for dinner? Should we eat together?” Daesung’s voice drifted back to me.  
  
“Yes. Let’s meet in Jiyong’s room at six.”  
  
“Why my room?” Jiyong didn’t sound like he was complaining. Just curious as to why his room was being commandeered.  
  
“It’s the biggest one” Taeyang answered simply.  
  
“Plus, Luna will probably feel more comfortable there than in anyone else’s, right?” I smiled at Seungri’s input.  
  
“It doesn’t matter to me. But having enough space is good.”

* * *

It was Daesung who offered to walk me to my suite tonight. Pausing outside my door he looked unsure.  
  
“Seungri really likes you,” he finally blurted out.  _Well that’s not what I expected._  
  
“Oh. Um… I thought he might. He’s been very… thoughtful, in his own way.”  
  
“He told me. He’s frustrated that you point out how he’s failing though.”  
  
“He needs to know,” I shrugged. “I only point out the stuff that will help him later on.”  
  
The door was open by now. I was standing half in my entry, Daesung was looking like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to come in or not.  
  
“He’s trying. Which is more than he usually does. Cut him some slack.”  
  
“If I cut him slack, he’ll just rely on being famous.”  
  
“That’s not enough?”  
  
“Not for me.”

* * *

I took my free time to write in my dream journal. I’d been having lots of dreams with jellyfish recently. Not that that was strange, it was just very recurrent. I filled the pages with words and sketches, trying to recapture what I had been dreaming of. I had been walking through a kelp forest with Chul Min from work.  
  
I furrowed my brow as I wrote. There’s was a nagging feeling that I was forgetting something important. I stared at the page, trying to work out what had been missed. My phone chimed.  
  
    **From: Unknown**  
**Food is here. Room 1607.**  
  
**From: Unknown**  
**This is Seunghyun.**  
  
I quickly saved his number.  
  
     **From: Seunghyun**  
**Hurry up.**  
  
I stood in the hallway, unsure of where to go. Why aren’t there signs? Are people supposed to just know where they’re going? I pulled my phone out.  
  
     **To: Seunghyun**  
**Where do I go from elevator 3?**  
  
**From: Seunghyun**  
**Left.**  
  
**From: Seunghyun**  
**Keep going left until you find it.**  
  
Well, that’s better than nothing, I guess. I took a trail of left turns to eventually end up in a hallway with steadily declining numbers on the door. 1611… 1610… I finally stood in front of 1607.  
  
It was quiet. I didn’t know how soundproof the rooms were, but I had thought I’d be able to hear some evidence of the boys inside. I gave the door three hard taps.  
  
No response. I waited for what I thought was a polite amount of time and then pressed the buzzer.  
  
Fifteen seconds later the door swung open to reveal a shirtless Seunghyun. I quickly looked away from him. A chuckle sounded behind me.  
  
“Come in. I just need to get a shirt.”  
  
“I can wait out here.”  
  
Seunghyun probably rolled his eyes, but I was still refusing to look at him. He pulled me into his suite, shutting the door after me.  
  
“Am I that ugly? Maybe I should work out more,” the sarcasm in Seunghyun’s voice was practically a living entity. “Look at me.”  
  
I closed my eyes for a minute, sighing. Turning, I made and held eye contact with him. It wasn’t a hard thing to do, I just couldn’t believe that he was acting like this. Whatever this was.  
  
“Where’s Jiyong?”  
  
“In his room, probably,” Seunghyun shrugged. He stared me down as he said it, head bent enough that he was looking up at me.  
  
“Are we not meeting in Jiyong’s suite?” I slid my eyes off of his, intently studying the coat rack behind him. I saw him smile in my peripheral vision. Fine. Let him feel like he’s intimidating.  
  
“No, we are,” he turned and walked down the hallway. It was clear he was heading to the bedroom. It was less clear if he was going to put on a shirt.  
  
“Then you lied. Why am I here?” I called after him. He paused outside the bedroom’s door, casting a glance over his shoulder.  
  
“Come here.”  
  
_Nope. No way._  This was getting to be too much.  
  
“I’ll wait in the living room,” I slipped my shoes off and went to sit on the sofa.  
  
Part of me expected him to come and try to pull me back to his room. I had my phone in my hand, ready to call Jiyong if I had to.  
  
I was left alone. Five minutes passed before Seunghyun casually walked in, doing up the last few buttons on his shirt.  
  
“I wanted to see you.”  
  
“That doesn’t make sense. You could have waited to see me at dinner.” He smiled at that, crossing the room and sitting next to me.  
  
“I wanted to see you alone.”  
  
I felt uncomfortable. Seunghyun didn’t seem to be a threat, but nothing about this situation was not tense.  
  
“Well? What is it? Daesung wanted to tell me that Seungri was…”  
  
Seunghyun held up one finger.  
  
“One, I wanted to see how fast you’d show up,” he lifted another finger. “Two, I wanted to see how you would react to an awkward situation,” he lowered his hand, letting it rest on my knee. “Three, I want to know what your preferences are.”  
  
I scooted away from him, widening the space between us.  
  
“I’m reserving judgement.” I crossed my arms and gave him a pointed look. “You should know that putting me through bullshit tests like this won’t help your position though.”  
  
He laughed abruptly.  
  
“I’m not worried about my position.”  
  
“Good,” I stood up. “If you’re done finding out what you wanted…”  
  
I dialled Jiyong. He picked up on the first ring.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“What’s your room number?” I walked back to the entry. I leaned against the wall, pulling my shoes on.  
  
“1633. Take a right out of the elevators, it will be on your left.”  
  
“Okay, I’ll just be a minute.”  
  
“The food isn’t here yet though.”  
  
“I’ll, uh, I’ll talk when I get there. If you don't mind.”  
  
“No problem. See you soon.”  
  
Seunghyun was watching me as I hung up. He looked annoyed.  
  
“I’ll go ahead,” I kept my tone light, forcing politeness to overshadow my annoyance. Seunghyun slipped his shoes on.  
  
“I’ll come with you.”  
  
“That’s not necessary.”  
  
He stood up and gave me a smug smile.  
  
“I know.”

* * *

The walk was silent, Seunghyun keeping two steps behind me the whole way. My shoulders kept tensing up. It was like walking in the dark and a stranger happens to be going in the same direction as you.  
  
Seunghyun stood close behind me as I knocked on Jiyong’s door. When it swung open I was to see Jiyong’s smile falter slightly when he saw the elder man behind me. I made an expression that I hoped conveyed my own annoyance.  
  
“Come in you two. Food should be here in just a few minutes.”  
  
The first thing I noticed about Jiyong’s suite was that it smelled a bit like spiced chai. There was almost too much cinnamon in the air. I took a second after taking my shoes off to simply stand and soak up the warm scent. I closed my eyes, trying to place the exact smell.  
  
My reverie was interrupted by Seunghyun.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“It smells like… my aunt’s hamentashen.”  
  
“What’s hamentashen? Is that a good thing?” Jiyong asked.  
  
“They’re cookies. My aunt makes them with cinnamon filling. They… It smells delicious in here.”  
  
I kept trying to get a second to talk to Jiyong alone, but Seunghyun made it outright impossible. When the food, and other members, showed up it was even harder. Jiyong must have noticed something was up though.  
  
“So... Luna, why did you and Seunghyun arrive together?” He raised an eyebrow and smiled devilishly. Alright, maybe he just wants to be a jerk.  
  
“I... uh...” I started coughing, trying to rush out an explanation through a mouthful of food.  
  
“I invited her down to my room.”  
  
I quickly swallowed and took a sip of water while Jiyong and Daesung started teasing Seunghyun.  
  
“He didn't exactly invite me to his room.”  
  
“Sure I did. I told you my room number and told you to come down.”  
  
“You told me the food was here, and gave me a room number. I was expecting it to be Jiyong's room.”  
  
“You only came down because you thought it was Jiyong's room?”  
  
“I don't know. I probably would have went if you had told the truth.”  
  
The other four members were watching Seunghyun and I. Taeyang's eyes were wide, like he was watching an intense competition. Daesung and Jiyong looked like they were enjoying the exchange. Seungri was only watching Seunghyun.  
  
“You're acting like I lied to you.”  
  
“Well you weren't exactly honest. If you had texted me that you wanted to talk before eating that would be fine. But instead you made it seem like a totally different situation.”  
  
“If I told you that, you would have had your guard up.”  
  
“I just appreciate some warning is all. Especially about you not being dressed when I got there.”  
  
Daesung made a surprised “Uuwaaaaaa” noise at that. Jiyong had a wide grin by now and Taeyang looked like a parent who was trying to come to terms with their child wanting to major in underwater basket-weaving. Seungri though...  
  
“Hyung!”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Aish! Seriously? What makes you think that sort of thing is okay?”  
  
I leaned back, gesturing towards Seungri as if to say “See? See?! That's exactly my point!”  
  
“Aish...” Seunghyun seemed unperturbed in the extreme, “she didn't mind that much. Right, Luna?”  
  
“Of course I minded. That's... I shouldn't be seeing that. What am I supposed to think when a man invites me to his room and isn't wearing a shirt when I get there?”  
  
Seunghyun didn't answer me. He simply stared at me across the table, the faint outline of a smug smile flitting across his features.  
  
“Anyway...” I sighed, “what's the schedule tomorrow?”  
  
“No, no, no, no, no, no, I think we should stick with this topic for now. It's way more interesting than the schedule.” I couldn't tell if Jiyong was joking or not. Fine, if just changing the topic won't work.  
  
I stood and walked to the kitchen. I called over my shoulder to the boys, “I'm getting water, do any of you want some?”  
  
I heard Jiyong start laughing.  _Yeah, yeah, I'm predictable, I get it._  There was a smattering of replies, three of them being positives. I started pulling down cups from the cupboard.  
  
I sensed that someone had followed me before he said anything.  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
“Why wouldn't I be?” I turned to face Seungri. He looked annoyed, but not overly so. It was more like concern than full annoyance.  
  
“Well, Seunghyun...” I smiled at him.  
  
“He's going to have to try harder than that if he wants to unsettle me.”  
  
“Don't let him know that,” Seungri picked up two full glasses.  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“He'll see it as a challenge. He'll get carried away.”  
  
“I think I can handle it,” I turned to him, holding two more cups.  
  
“Luna...” he put the cups down and approached me. He looked very serious, “please don't give him a reason to act out.”  
  
“What?” I rolled my eyes, “is he going to invite me to go swimming next time?”  
  
Seungri pulled the glasses out of my hands, placing them on the counter beside me. He took one of my hands in his. He kept his gaze down.  
  
“Hyung will try his best to get a reaction out of you. He won't care what the reaction is either. Just... let him think that you're shocked by whatever his next attempt is. If you don't... he'll go overboard with the next try. It will get out of control pretty fast.”  
  
I mulled over Seungri's words as I lay in bed that night. Seunghyun may be intense, and annoying, but I didn't feel like he was scary. Is this just Seungri's way of trying to get closer to me? It's easier to create divisions between others than to build up the connection between yourself and someone. I tossed myself over to my side, thinking back to Seunghyun.  _Was being shirtless supposed to be a shock?_  I guess it had been, but not a huge one. More of a surprise than a shock.  _Was he just going for a reaction? Or was that his way of flirting? How boring must he be to rely on that to pique my interest?_  
  
I stared up at the ceiling. These boys... and I could only think of them as boys, despite most of them being older than me... I really don't know anything about them at all. Definitely not enough to figure out their motivations.


	5. Intro Week: Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiyong gets cute, helpful, and a little jealous. Soo-ah is a life saver. A coworker wants to set Luna up on a blind date (again). Luna tries to be useful and runs into some new friends (again). The YG building is more comfortable, and a lot bigger, than Luna expected. Taeyang is awful at giving directions. T.O.P is... T.O.P. Jiyong is concerned, Seungri offers an escape, T.O.P does Luna a favour.

I was confused when I woke up. The light through the curtains was bright enough that it was obvious to me that I had overslept. Had I overslept? The boys were practising today, so was my presence really necessary?

I threw on some sweats and a tank top and shuffled out of my room. After brushing my teeth and washing my face I made my way towards the kitchen. A box in my entry caught my eye. Picking it up, I brought it to the kitchen to investigate.

Putting the box on the table, I prioritised myself some oatmeal. As I waited for the water to boil, I opened up the box. There was a note on top of everything.

> Here is everything you’ll need today. I made sure that it would be delivered to you. The ID badge will get you into the YG building, but if you forget it, the pass code is *********. It would be best to bring the badge though, since you won’t have to stop by reception to check in. Practise will go until I decide that we’ve done enough. If you miss  ~~me~~  us it would be best to come visit rather than wait for us.
> 
> \- Jiyong

I pulled the security badge out of the box. So that’s the picture that Soo-ah sent with my application. The picture wasn’t actually that bad. It was from one of the times I had let Soo-ah do my makeup for a work outing. Shaking my head, I set it aside. The next thing in the box was a map of the YG building. Someone, most likely Jiyong, had scribbled on it, marking a dance studio, recording studio, and conference room. There was a note on the side stating that the boys might be in any of those places at any time.

Under that was subway map, also accompanied by notes. The station nearest the hotel was marked, and the station neared YG was marked as well. There were directions from the station to the building on the back.

The kettle whistled for my attention and I made my oatmeal. Waiting for it to cool, I retrieved my cell phone from my room. I must have really been asleep hard, since I had several messages.

     **From: Sooooo AH**  
     **I was in the area, and dropped off your laptop at the hotel.**

     **From: Sooooo AH**  
     **You can thank me later. It’s at the desk.**

  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **Let me know if you get my package.**  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **Also, cute picture <3**  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **Definitely jagi material.**  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **By the way, no big deal, but those children that you’re actually a fan of are also here today.**  
  
     **From: Jiyong**  
     **Song Mino actually asked where you were. Too casual for my taste.**

  
  
     **From: Daesung**  
     **You must have left an impression on Mino. First thing he asked when he saw us was where you were.**  
  
_Huh._ I was inclined to think Jiyong was joking, but I didn’t think Daesung would go along with it like that. My cheeks warmed up. Had Mino really asked about me? Hugeboy had remembered me enough to ask?  
  
I lost all interest (and memory) of the oatmeal sitting on my counter. I flopped down onto the sofa to try to process the idea that one of my favourite rappers had spared even a second to think of me. I felt like a middle school student as I squealed and buried my face in a sofa cushion.  
  
After spending some time in the gym, I took a detour to pick up my laptop on the way back to my room.  
  
As I sat on the sofa and read through my emails, I realised that I hadn’t seen a single camera operator all day. I guess they don’t expect anything of much interest on a day like today. I snuggled deeper into the plush hotel robe.  
  
I skimmed through an email from Chulmin. He was trying to set me up with a friend of his wife. Again. They had been making set-up attempts for the last year. Despite my assurances otherwise, they remained convinced that I was losing out on true happiness by remaining single. I typed up an email discretely declining the offer. I didn’t mention the show, as I was unsure if I was allowed to. I simply said that I had met someone that I might like. That was true enough, right? I might end up liking one of the boys.  
  
I was part way through watching Futurama when my phone went off. I dug it out from between the sofa cushions.  
  
**From: Jiyong  
    We’re taking a break in an hour. Come eat lunch with us?  
  
_To: Jiyong  
    Should I bring you food?_  
  
    From: Jiyong  
    You don’t have to do that.  
  
_To: Jiyong  
    Okay, but what do you all want?  
  
    To: Jiyong  
    I’m bored anyway. This will give me something to do._  
  
    From: Jiyong  
    You definitely know how to steal a man’s heart.**  
  
Jiyong texted me a short list of food preferences. I quickly got dressed and affixed some basic makeup.  
  
Swinging by the store was quick. My brain had apparently been elsewhere, since I had stupidly decided to buy the food closer to the hotel than the YG building. This made the train a little tougher than usual, since I was wedged between a sleeping ahjussi and a student with a huge backpack.

* * *

When I finally reached the YG building I had one last hurdle to get over. I had my badge and the map, but no idea which room the boys were currently in. I had gotten attached to the idea of semi-surprising them. As much as I could, what with at least Jiyong expecting me. That’s what I told myself anyway. I was really just interested in seeing some of the building, and was too stubborn to text or call one of the boys to lead me.  
  
I figured that the dance studio was a good place to start. As I passed various doors I could hear muted sounds come from behind them. The door that the boys would have been behind was left cracked slightly open. The studio was dark and silent.  
  
_All right, on to the next try._  
  
I leaned against the wall and pulled out the map. I plotted my path to the recording studio, making sure I had my bearings. Fairly certain I knew where I had to go, I headed towards the nearest stairwell.  
  
“Noona!”  
  
At first it didn’t register that I was the person being addressed.  
  
“Noona Luna!”  
  
_Oh._ I turned to see a couple of boys in the hall behind me. It was apparent that they had just come out of one of the practise rooms. Bobby was at the front of them. My eyes slid to the second nearest man and I froze up for a second. I tried to recover as quickly as possible.  
  
“Hello.” I bowed, knowing that letting Bobby take the conversational lead was probably the best tactic right now. Bobby bowed back once he reached me. He pulled the next boy up by his arm and introduced him.  
  
“This is my fearless leader Kim Hanbin,” he gestured to the other two boys behind him, “and Kim Donghyuk, and Jung Chanwoo.”  
  
They each bowed as Bobby introduced them, I returned the gesture in turn. Donghyuk excused himself and went on his way almost immediately. Hanbin and Chanwoo seemed compelled by politeness to stick around for a minute.  
  
“What are you doing here? How did you even get in?”  
  
I dug my badge out of my pocket and held it up. Bobby took it and looked at it.  
  
“This isn’t a daily pass. Cute picture, by the way. How’d you get this?”  
  
“Jiyong,” I was slowly adjusting to my shock, though still a bit shy. Best to keep sentences short.  
  
“Jiyong-sunbaenim? How do you know him?” Chanwoo leaned forward and asked.  
  
“I’m, uh, I guess I’m working with him.” I held up the bags in my hands, “I’m actually here to bring the boys some food. Do you know where they are?”  
  
“No, but we can help you look.”  
  
Hanbin looked a little annoyed at being volunteered by Bobby, but didn’t say anything.  
  
“I actually need to catch up with Donghyuk.” Chanwoo excused himself, turning to bow to me again. “Good luck with Bobby though.”  
  
“You guys don’t have to help me. Jiyong gave me this,” I waved the map through the air.  
  
“It’s fine, but let me grab something real quick,” Bobby trotted off to a different door in the hallway and walked in. I was left with Hanbin in awkward silence.  
  
“Sorry. You don’t really need to help.” I put down the bags to relieve the tension on my fingers.  
  
“It’s fine, I’m used to him. How do you know him?”  
  
“Bobby? Jiyong introduced us a few days ago.” I could see in my peripheral vision that Hanbin was looking directly at me, but I was too shy to actually look at him yet.  
  
“Are you Noryangjin girl?”  
  
“I guess so?” I finally looked up. Jesus Christ, how can he be so pretty right after dance practise?“Depends what he said about Noryangjin girl.”  
  
“Nothing bad.” He flashed his perfect smile. “It explains why he went to that particular door though,” he added, nodding to the door Bobby had walked through.  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Just wait.” His smile widened.  
  
I silently stretched my hands out a bit as we waited for Bobby to return. We didn’t have long to wait.

* * *

Bobby loudly pulled Mino out from the practise room, closely followed by Kim Jinwoo’s and Kang Seungyoon’s heads poking out of the door. Jinwoo loudly made an exaggerated surprised noise.  
  
“Jeez Mino! You weren’t kidding. Why do  **you**  always meet pretty girls?!” Seungyoon called out. His smile was joking, and he shot me a wink. It was evident that he was trying to embarrass Mino and not me. That’s what I told myself anyway.  
  
Mino quickly turned and shoved them both back into the room. I could hear them giggling as they retreated. I heard a voice shout out “get her number!” as Mino came back out of the room.  
  
I felt as red as Mino looked as he and Bobby walked back. Bobby was laughing semi-maniacally.  
  
“Oh man, Jinwoo’s face! Perfect!”  
  
I slid down the wall to crouch and hide in embarrassment. Hanbin bent and patted me on the shoulder.  
  
“I can scold him if you want.”  
  
“Thanks, but I think I’d like to do it myself.” I looked up at the approaching pair.  
  
Standing up and crossing my arms, I tried to muster a stern look for Bobby.  
  
“Ahh… Noona don’t! I’m just trying to help my friend out. I’m being a good friend!” Mino was hitting Bobby lightly, telling him to shut up.  
  
“Kim Jiwon! don’t even start! You’re just trying to make an embarrassing situation for your own entertainment.” It was unreasonable of me to feel so at ease with scolding Bobby, but I slipped into the role of angry noona easily enough.  
  
“And help my friend out at the same time.” Bobby was grinning and still struggling with Mino. “He’s too intimidated by Jiyong to… heol!”  
  
Mino finally managed to clasp a hand over Bobby’s mouth. Hanbin put his hand over his face in exasperation.  
  
“Hello Noona… I see you’ve met… Bobby and Hanbin… What are you doing here?” Mino panted slightly from trying to hold Bobby back. I was slightly impressed with his attempt at sounding casual while still struggling. I just looked at him for a second before turning to Hanbin.  
  
“Mr. Kim… Could you help me bring this stuff to the Big Bang studio?” My instinct for escape melded with my love for teasing.  
  
“Sure thing Noona. Let’s go.” Hanbin grabbed one of the bags and offered me his arm after I picked up the other. I silently thanked whatever gods I could think of that he was going along with my retreat attempt.  
  
“I’m sorry you got distracted by those children,” Hanbin loudly said as we walked away from Bobby and Mino. We kept up an exaggeratedly polite conversation as the the two boys untangled themselves.  
  
Mino was the first to reach us. He swooped up and took the bag from my hand.  
  
“I can carry that for you. You’re here to see Jiyong? He’s probably in the studio.” Mino looped his arm through my now unburdened one. Hanbin nudged me slightly before unwinding his arm from mine. When I looked over he slightly gestured to Mino with his eyes and winked at me. I heard Bobby snort in laughter behind us.  
  
“So why did one of your friends yell at you to get my number?” I knew full well why they had said it, but I was trying to externalise some of my own discomfort.  
  
“Jinwoo was just…”  
  
“Jinwoo? Kim Jinwoo? He was asking? I wouldn’t mind him having my number.”  _Everyone knows that the best way to get rid of embarrassment is to embarrass others, right?_  
  
“What? No. He… he doesn’t… he wanted me to…”  
  
“He doesn’t want it?” It was nice to be the the interrupter rather than the interrupted for once. “Never mind, I won’t burden you with it then.”  
  
“That’s not…”  
  
“Noona, take pity on the man!” Bobby practically shouted.  
  
“Why should I? If I do that he won’t have earned anything. Where’s the satisfaction in that?”  
  
Mino cleared his throat as we reached the stairwell.  
  
“Uh, I can… You guys don’t have to come with us. Shouldn’t you be helping Jinhwan?” He was over enunciating, clearly trying to rid us of the two iKon members.  
  
“It’s no problem. Junhoe will help him.” Whether Bobby was legitimately oblivious or purposefully being obtuse, I couldn’t tell you. Hanbin handed the bag he carried to me and physically pulled Bobby away, nodding and saying goodbye as he went.  
  
Mino took the bag from me and backed into the stairwell door to open it for me. His smile was faint, but seemed genuine.

* * *

Daesung quickly pulled Mino in by the bags. Taeyang approached me and put a hand on my shoulder to show his appreciation. I laughed slightly and pulled him into a hug.  
  
“You’re too shy.”  
  
I felt his body stiffen, so I quickly broke away. I muttered an apology to him, hoping he would be the only one to hear. No such luck.  
  
“Tch! No need to apologise. He won’t admit it but Youngbae really likes skinship,” Jiyong leaned in a bit closer. He lowered his voice, “I think you made someone jealous though.”  
  
Determined to avoid whatever Jiyong might be stirring up, I refused to look around for a second.  _Let whomever is jealous of a hug deal with it themselves. Didn’t we agree that I should treat them like my American friends?_  
  
Daesung was busy setting out the food for everyone. He bickered with Mino a bit as he did so. After a minute of their back and forth, Mino called me over.  
  
“Noona! Didn’t you invite me?”  
  
“Bobby didn’t really give me a choice. You didn’t either.” I ran a hand through my hair. “Aigo these kids.”  
  
“Dongsaengs are bothering you?” Seungri approached, casually putting an arm on my shoulder. “You need to put these punks in their place immediately. If you don’t they’ll just take advantage of your kindness.”  
  
“She did! She yelled at Bobby. She was like a lion!”  
  
“That reminds me, didn’t Bobby pull you out of practise? Shouldn’t you get back to it?” I tried to sound disappointed in Mino, but I think it came across like a joke.  
  
“Ah, Taehyun needs to work more than I do,” he waved off my words like they were flies.  
  
“Nope,” I walked over and hauled him up by his arm.  
  
“This won’t do,” I pulled him towards the door.  
  
“I won’t be held responsible for you being lazy,” I pushed him through the door.  
  
“Noona, just one more thing…”  
  
I stepped through the door after him. Mino turned shy as the door shut behind me. He pulled his hat off, using the inside of the brim to scratch over his scalp.  
  
“Jinwoo… Ah… What Jinwoo said…” Who would have thought that this tough guy rapper would be this shy?  
  
“My number?”  
  
“Well… I-if you… I mean… Yes.”  
  
“Hmm… What do I get?” His cute display of shyness made me want to play with him a little.  _Hey, I’ve never claimed to be a good person._  
  
“Ah… I could… I’ll take you out to dinner?”  
  
I stared him down for a second before replying, making a show of thinking it over.  
  
“Tell them I said I’ll think about it.”

* * *

“What took so long? What did he want?” Seungri was on me as soon as I walked back inside the studio.  
  
“Nothing.”  _Nothing that needed Seungri’s attention anyway._  
  
He tried to press me on it but Jiyong made him stop. I opted to remain somewhat dormant in the conversation. The boys talked about their work a bit. It wasn’t incredibly interesting, but I was in an observational mood. They could talk about soil composition for all I cared. Actually, I’m a nerd, I’d probably find that pretty captivating.  _Well, maybe not dirt, but water…_  
  
Observational or not, I quickly fell into my own thoughts. The conversation was blocked from my brain by imagining water dynamics. The only outside input that made it’s way into my brain was the body movements of the boys. Taeyang made a sweeping motion with one hand. My brain imagined how deep water would have to be for such a motion to show no effect on the surface.  _What would be strong enough to move such a non-hydrodynamic shape through…_  
  
A tap on my shoulder. I looked up at Seunghyun.  
  
“You’re staring at Youngbae.”  
  
“I’m… What? Sorry… I was thinking about… something else.” I quickly picked up some kimbap. Any kind of motion seemed like the solution right now.  
  
“What were you thinking about?” Daesung was apparently tired of shop talk.  
  
“Water… Uh… Water and physics. And biology too I guess.” My voice trailed off. Even though I’d been out of school for ten years I still felt like I was about to be teased for being a nerd and then asked for homework help. I mean, I was obviously sitting at the cool kids’ table right now.  
  
“How can you be so cute and smart? It’s not fair.”  
  
I tried to will myself into disappearing. No such luck.  
  
“Well, I don’t know much about hydrodynamics… But now that you’re back with us I want to ask you a question,” Jiyong spoke from where he was splayed out on the floor.  
  
“Okay?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear it.  
  
“Why was Mino with you?” Jiyong smiled, looking as if he had just broken a huge story.  
  
“Oh. That. I ran into Bobby.” I shrugged, leaning forward to fish some food out of the take-out containers. There was a beat of silence.  
  
“And…?” Daesung prodded.  
  
“And what?”  
  
“You didn’t show up here with Bobby,” Jiyong pointed out exasperatedly.  
  
“Right. Okay. So I ran into Bobby. Bobby volunteered himself and Hanbin to help me find my way. Then Bobby ran off to find Mino.”  
  
“So how come Bobby and Hanbin didn’t come with you?” It was Seungri pressing the question this time.  
  
“Mino said he could handle carrying the bags, so they left.” I reached for the container again. Jiyong stretched his arm out and pushed it away from me.  
  
“And in the hallway? When he left?”  
  
“Aigo… What are you? My father?” I shifted to my knees so that I could reach the container easier. There was a slight choking sound after the words left my mouth. As I acquired the little box of food, I watched as Taeyang slapped Seungri on the back.  
  
“Are you okay Seungri?”  
  
He nodded as he coughed, waving his hand as if saying “it’s nothing.” His coughing episode quickly resolved itself, leaving him slightly red.  
  
“Anyway…” Seunghyun started as he watched the youngest settle back to his seat, “it’s not a parental reaction. It’s more of a relationship one. I, for one,” his gaze turned to me, “expect my girlfriend to be forthcoming about other men that seemed to be paying her special attention.”  
  
_Great. Now if I don’t answer, I’ll be thought of as the cheating type. If I do answer I’ll be setting the precedent that anything they want from me will be granted if they can justify it._  I was stuck between wanting to look good on camera and not wanting to possibly embarrass Mino. I sat back and chewed slowly, buying time.  
  
“And the reverse?” I finally asked.  
  
“Reverse?”  
  
“Yes. I mean, that’s the sort of consideration that should go both ways for a couple, right?”  
  
Seunghyun looked like he had actually never given it any thought. I felt a ring-laden hand land on my knee, wiggling my leg back and forth.  
  
“Of course. If you asked me I’d say ‘oh, she confessed her feelings and I turned her down.’ Then I’d reassure her that she’s the only girl for me.” Jiyong smiled a greasy smile.  
  
“Well, Mino certainly didn’t confess. He doesn’t even know me. I think he just isn’t buying that story you gave him, Jiyong.”  
  
Jiyong laced his fingers together and used his hands as a pillow on the floor.  
  
“Aish… He’s too curious for his own good. He should just listen to his elders.”

* * *

After the food was finished, Daesung insisted that I stay for a while. We sat on the large sofa, passing his phone back and forth. We were playing a colour matching game. It quickly became evident that he was better at recognising yellow and violet gradients than me, but I kicked his ass on anything related to greens or oranges.  
  
Eventually Daesung had to record his parts, leaving me by myself on the sofa.  
  
“Here,” he handed me his phone, “you should practise so I can have a real challenge when I’m done.”  
  
I swatted at his arm as he stood.  
  
“Don’t be a brat!”  
  
“Fine, don’t practise. I’ll be back to beat you though.” He shot me a goofy grin and headed into the booth.  
  
I rolled my eyes and settled deeper into the sofa. By this time it was just Jiyong, Seunghyun, and I left to watch him record. I buried myself in Daesung’s phone.  
  
Ten levels later I cried out in alarm as a bundle of warm cloth hit me.  
  
“Relax. You’ve been trying to get warm for the last hour. Just put that on,“ Seunghyun was staring at me from a chair next to Jiyong. He was wearing stock expression number three: blank.  
  
“You were hesitating on the second verse. Start from…” Jiyong was muttering into the intercom.  
  
I tried to get comfortable, pulling Seunghyun’s jacket around me like a blanket. It was nearly impossible to relax though. When I was absorbed in the game, it had been fine, but now that I was aware of Seunghyun’s scrutiny… It was unnerving.  
  
I finally pulled my own phone out. The battery on Daesung’s had been trickling as I played, and I didn’t want him to end up with a dead phone. I pulled up my own favourite mobile game and tried to ignore Seunghyun’s glances.

* * *

I had no idea what time it was when I was woken by someone lightly shaking my shoulder. I stretched out, eyes still shut, trying work some of the kinks out of my muscles. A warm shot of electricity touched my obliques. My eyes shot open to see Taeyang pulling the hem of my shirt down. It had apparently ridden up as I slept.  
  
He quickly took a step back as I bolted upright.  
  
“I wasn’t… I’m not trying…”  
  
“I know. I’m not… I’m just kind of ticklish.” I blinked a lot, trying to work the sleep out of my eyes.“What time is it?”  
  
“Quarter to seven.” Taeyang stared at his phone. “I really wasn’t trying to feel…” He looked so uncomfortable. “I was actually trying to not touch you. Your shirt…”  
  
“Relax, I know. You were just protecting my modesty. Sorry for falling asleep,” I shivered as I looked around the overly air conditioned studio. Jiyong was quietly arguing with Seungri through the booth intercom. Daesung and Seunghyun were nowhere to be seen, though Seunghyun’s jacket was still draped over my legs.  
  
“I like your tattoos.” Taeyang blurted it out so abruptly that I just stared at him in surprise.  
  
“Uh… okay… thanks,” I heard Jiyong stifling a laugh. “Um… where did Seunghyun go? I should, uh, give him his jacket back.”  
  
“He’s probably on the hunt for coffee.” Jiyong stretched his arms out, “try calling him.”  
  
“Right, okay.”  
  
I shuffled into the hallway, gripping my phone in one hand and pulling Seunghyun’s jacket over my shoulders with the other. He picked up after a single ring.  
  
“I’m in the cafeteria.”  
  
“How did you know that…” the slight echo of talking on a mobile disappeared. I looked at the screen. He had hung up on me.  _What the hell?_  
  
I ducked into the studio and picked up my bag.  
  
“I’m going hunting I guess. See you later.”  
  
After pulling Seunghyun’s coat on properly I started digging through my bag.  
  
“Where’s the map you gave me?”  
  
“I don’t know.” Jiyong kept his eyes glued to the monitor in front of him.  
  
“I think hyung might have taken it. He had a stack of papers with him when he left,” Taeyang offered.  
  
“Aigo…” I ran a hand through my hair. “How do I get to the cafeteria from here?”  
  
Taeyang stood, “here.” He opened the door and pointed down the hall.  
  
“Go to the stairway at the end, then down two floors. Turn left at the bottom of the stairs. The…” he paused to think, “third hallway on your right will take you to it.”  
  
I nodded, “thank you.”

* * *

Two floors below the studio, I turned left. There were only two hallways that branched off this one in that direction.  _Well shit._  
  
I turned back, figuring that Taeyang had maybe misspoken, or that I had misheard. Maybe the left and right were the other way around.  
  
I took the third hallway on the left after I passed the stairs.  
  
Fifteen minutes later I was totally lost. I didn’t even know how to get back to the same stairway.  
  
“Aish, this place is worse than hospitals…”  
  
I pulled my phone out and tried calling Jiyong. There was no answer. I remembered that he had made me put my phone on silent when they had started recording again, claiming that he didn’t want any distractions. I dialled Taeyang, hoping he was still messing around on his phone and would see the call coming in. I was on the fifth ring when I spotted a striped sweater coming out of a room down the hall. I started towards the stripes and the grey clad figure next to them and hung up.  
  
“Excuse me! Chanwoo?”  
  
He turned to look at me, confusion morphing into recognition, then back into confusion.  
  
“Miss Luna? Ah, Bobby is upstairs with…”  
  
“I’m not looking for Bobby,” I turned and bowed to the boy in grey in a quick greeting. I turned back to Chanwoo, “I’m actually lost. I’m looking for the cafeteria.”  
  
“Didn’t you have a map?”  
  
“Seunghyun took it by accident,” I smiled weakly. “Can you please help me? If you’re not in a rush, that is.”  
  
“Well, I have to get back as soon as possible but,” he turned to the man next to him, a pleading look on his face. “Hyung, can you please…”  
  
“Go,” the man waved a hand at Chanwoo. “I’ll show her.”  
  
Chanwoo bowed to both of us, spouting thank yous on my behalf to his elder, then scooted off down the hall. Jinhwan turned to me.  
  
“I’m Kim Ji…”  
  
“Kim Jinhwan, eldest of iKon. I, uh, I know. I’m…”  
  
“Noona Luna.” He grinned, “at least to Bobby. How old are you?”  
  
“Aish, you can’t just ask a girl that. Older than you anyway, by a few years.” His smile widened, but he looked a little sheepish. I, on the other hand, was internally groaning.  _Too many pretty boys in this building. I must be like a mushroom growing among flowers around here._  
  
“Bobby says you know G Dragon hyung.”  
  
“G Drago… Oh! You mean Jiyong. Yeah, I guess. I mean… I’ve known him for five days.”  
  
Jinhwan glanced at me. He was squinting at me a bit. I guessed that he was trying to think of if I was famous or something, wondering why I was hanging out with such a high profile idol. I chuckled softly.  
  
“I’m not famous or anything.” I ran a hand through my hair.  _So many nervous ticks, relax Luna._  “I just… well… I don’t know what I should tell you. Jiyong seemed to not want to talk about it when we met Mino, and he avoided the topic with Bobby too.”  
  
“Secret girlfriend?” Jinhwan widened his eyes and raised his eyebrows playfully.  
  
“Just a secret. Not a girlfriend,” I thought about the past week for a moment. Jinhwan glanced at me as I chewed the inside of my lip.  
  
“What? Do you want to be his girlfriend?”  _Aish, and Jiyong said Mino was too curious._  
  
“Eh, no, no… it’s not that. Jiyong just kept making some jokes about that this week.”  
  
“Ooooh… You’re an idol killer!”  
  
I stopped in my tracks. Jinhwan turned to look at me.  _Idol killer? What the hell does that…_  
  
“What?”  
  
“What?” He looked just as confused as I was.  
  
“Idol killer?”  
  
He laughed loudly.  _What are all these kids on? How is everyone so happy and energetic?_  
  
“Like a lady killer, you know? G Dragon hyung, Mino, you even make Bobby and Hanbin blush.”  
  
“Aish… you’re joking with me right now. If Bobby and Hanbin were blushing it’s probably because they were remembering me getting angry at Bobby. They don’t even know me,” I scrunched my nose a bit, feeling uncomfortable. “Neither does Mino, we just talked over breakfast once. And Jiyong… Jiyong is just… I don’t know…”  
  
Jinhwan raised his hands in supplication.  
  
“Yah, I’m just telling you what Bobby said and what I saw,” his smile had diminished slightly, but wasn’t gone.  
  
“I know, sorry,” I started walking again. “It’s just… it’s weird. And uncomfortable to think about. I’ve lived here for five years and I…” I caught myself, “never mind. We’re strangers, I shouldn’tbe telling you about that.”  
  
“It’s okay. I’m used to it. I guess I have that look that I’m easy to talk to,” he reassured me kindly.  
  
“Well, yeah, you do. I wonder why that is?”  
  
“I have a cute face. People talk to me like their brother. I look like I can keep secrets.”  
  
“Can you keep secrets?”  
  
“No.”  
  
We both broke down giggling like idiots. There was no reason for that to have been so funny but every time we looked at each other we’d start again.

* * *

I was practically sweating from laughing so much when we reached the cafeteria. The joke was long past its prime, but Jinhwan had started doing impressions of his dongsaengs. The sight of this band mother impersonating an angry Bobby was enough to put anyone over the edge into hysterics.  
  
“No, no, Luna, you have to watch. He always does this move while he’s walking away.”  
  
He exaggerated his shoulders as he pretended to storm off. It was incredible hearing him try to imitate Bobby’s low voice.  
  
“Aish! Jinjjayo?! Hyuuung!”  
  
“Oh my god…Jinhwan…” I was bent over trying to catch my breath. “I’m going to start crying if you don’t stop…”  
  
“Yah! Luna!”  
  
Jinhwan immediately dropped his Bobby act. His eyes were suddenly downcast, and he was suddenly drained of the blush from the laughter. I straightened up to see Seunghyun’s gaze boring into the young man next to me as he approached us.  
  
He stopped in front of us. Even though he had addressed me, he hadn’t yet spared me a glance. It’s like he thinks he’s the owner of this place or something.  
  
“Jinhwan, shouldn’t you be practising?”  
  
“Yes, hyung.”  
  
“Then why are you here?” Seunghyun was still looking down at him like a stern school teacher or something.  
  
“Miss Luna was lost. Chanwoo and I…” I noticed that he was using the most polite Korean I had heard in… must have been at least a month.  
  
“She isn’t lost any more. You can go.”  
  
Jinhwan bowed and started to turn to leave. Putting a hand on his arm, I stopped him.  
  
“Thank you for helping me Jinhwan,” I bowed my thanks to him. He dipped again and quickly left. I turned to Seunghyun. He was now looking at me like he was expecting an explanation for why I was late.  
  
“Don’t give me that look. You’re not that scary.”  
  
“My table is over there.”  
  
That was it. He turned and walked back to where he had been sitting. No asking me why I was there, no asking for his coat back, nothing. Arrogance knows no bounds I guess.  
  
I wasn’t left much option, not having retrieved my map yet, so I followed him. He had claimed a semi-booth type table. There was a laptop, notebook, and cup of coffee on the table, set up on the side with actual chairs. The laptop was on its login screen, and his notebook was shut. It seemed almost paranoid to me.  
  
I slid the coat off and slid myself into the booth style seat opposite the one facing the laptop.  
  
“I just wanted to bring you your coat. Thanks for…” My voice died as Seunghyun sat next to me.  
  
“What was Jinhwan doing with you?”  
  
“Like he said, I got lost. I think you took my map by accident. Taeyang tried to give me directions but they were kind of useless.”  
  
He looked away from me, drumming his fingers on the table impatiently. After almost a full three minutes he finally straightened up and, heaving a sigh, looked down at me again.  
  
“You should have called me if you got lost.”  
  
“When I called you earlier you just told me where you were and then hung up,” I shook my head.  
  
“Not to mention, I was lost.” I leaned back, leaning against the table to play up my sarcastically annoyed tone. “I didn’t even know where I was. So calling you wouldn’t have really worked.”  
  
“You should have tried.” He picked up his coffee, taking a slow sip. He put it down carefully, looking at the cup instead of me, “I don’t like the way he was acting with you.”  
  
I dropped my head slightly. His weird…  _what is it? Is he being protective? Possessive? Ugh._ Whatever it was, I could feel it draining my will to stick around.  
  
“Okay. Well…” I raised my palms upwards, trying to think of a polite way of saying what I wanted to get across. I failed, “that sounds like it’s not my problem. He was nice enough to help me out. We were making jokes about the other members of iKon so that the walk wasn’t boring.”  
  
Seunghyun looked back to me, placing one arm on the back of the booth seat and the other on the table. Effectively facing me, he leaned forwards slightly.  
  
“You need to be careful of making famous friends. You’re just another fan, and they’ll expect you to be… compliant.”  
  
“Right,” I slid back from him. “Well here’s your coat. If I could have the map back, that’d be great.”  
  
“Luna, I’m serious,” he put his hand on my arm. “You need to be careful around them.”  
  
“Only them?” I pulled my arm away, standing up. “Aren’t you guys famous too? Should I be careful around the five of you?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
He leaned across the table and pulled the map out from his notebook. He handed it over to me, one handed.

* * *

     _ **To: Sooooo AH**_  
     _ **Is it even possible for Seunghyun to not annoy me?**_  
  
     _ **To: Sooooo AH**_  
     _ **It's like his purpose for existence is to make me feel uncomfortable.**_  
  
I leaned against the elevator wall. I closed my eyes, blocking out the two other people in the small space. I didn't recognise them, but they must have been workers of some sort. They had looked a bit older, so they almost definitely weren't trainees. My phone vibrated in my hand.  
  
     **From: Sooooo AH**  
     **What? Top-oppa is annoying?**  
  
     **From: Sooooo AH**  
     **He must just be tired or something. I'm sure he's not trying to annoy you.**  
  
The elevator slowed to a stop. Slipping through people I exited, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. How I could go unseen while brushing between people in such a small space, I didn't know. But by god I was going to try.  
  
I was tired of being in this building. My plan was to go upstairs, say goodbye to whoever was still there, text a goodbye to whoever wasn't, and head home.  
  
_Home?_ It had only taken a few days to start thinking of the hotel as home. It was close enough, right? The place I sleep. Home.  
  
My phone started ringing as I wound through the hallways, map in hand.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Where are you? We're heading to the venue soon."  
  
"Venue?"  
  
"Yes. For the show? It was on the schedule, wasn't it?"  
  
"Right! Right. The show. Right."  
  
"You forgot, didn't you?"  
  
"No, no, I knew. I totally knew."  
  
"Sure. How about you and Seunghyun meet us at the van?"  
  
“You might have to give him a call. I'm actually right down the hall.”  
  
“Oh. Okay.”  
  
Seungri hung up. Five seconds later I saw him poke his head out of the door ahead of me. His face lit up with a smile when he spotted me. He might be a bit much, but his smile was definitely... worth seeing.  
  
"Luna! Might as well just stop there. We're actually a little late."  
  
He walked towards me as he spoke. Once he reached me, he clasped his arm around my shoulders and started walking me back towards the elevators.  
  
"Jiyong-hyung is getting nervous. He might be irritable. You should probably stick by me."

* * *

Seungri did his best to not let me get more than a few metres away from him. The most breathing space I got was when he had to change clothes. Even then, Jiyong waved me over to where he was sitting down.  
  
"Can you double check my monitor for me?"  
  
"I don't really know about that stuff."  
  
A relaxed smile flashed across his face.  
  
"It was a bad excuse," he patted the seat next to him. "How was it coming to headquarters today?"  
  
"I'd rather do more interviews than lose my map again."  
  
His tongue darted out, quickly wetting his lips. He squinted up at me.  
  
"Why are you so nervous?"  
  
"I'm not nervous," I closed my eyes, pouting slightly.  
  
"Then why don't you sit?"  
  
_Fine, smartass._  
  
I took a seat, pulling the chair next to him away a little bit. It was supposed to look like I was trying to face him. In reality, I just wanted some space to myself. Although the attention of the day had been flattering, I was feeling a bit drained by it.  
  
Jiyong scraped his chair against the floor, shifting closer to me. Knees zippered against mine, he leaned forward.  
  
"Yah," he tucked a finger under my chin, connecting our eyelines. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing." I pulled away, stretching my arms out, my spine crackling against the back of the seat. "I'm just tired."  
  
"You're lying."  
  
"What's she lying about?" Seungri was back. He made a point to walk between us, breaking the contact between our legs.  
  
"Something's wrong."  
  
"Nothing's wrong."  
  
"What's wrong?" Seungri stayed standing, next to me.  
  
"Nothing's wrong!"  
  
Jiyong raised an eyebrow sceptically, pursing his lips slightly, but didn't say anything. Seungri bent to pick up my hand. Pulling me from my chair, he shot me a wink.  
  
"Come on. I'll show you around."  
  
White walls, plain cement floors, Seungri's hand tightly gripping mine. It was reminiscent of the hallways from the interview.  
  
We didn't talk much as we walked. I got the feeling that Seungri had wanted a break just as much as I had.  
  
"This will make for great TV," I pointed out after a while.  
  
"You know you're not really supposed to acknowledge the fact that you're being filmed."  
  
"I know. It seems like I should though. If I acknowledge it, then it's not a big deal. If I dyed my hair bright blue, someone would say something."  
  
"I don't think that's really the same."  
  
"Yeah, you're probably right."

* * *

The show was a bit more fun than the first one. I wasn't quite so out of place. It was easier for me to stay out of everyone's way. Being a little more familiar with the songs made it better as well. It was almost infuriating how catchy their songs were.  
  
When they came back off the stage I waited to greet them. I could see Tablo waiting for them, so I hung back so I wasn't encroaching on their conversation. Seunghyun detached fairly quickly and came to stand next to me. I handed him a water bottle.  
  
"Better or worse?"  
  
I furrowed my brows at him.  
  
"The show, compared with Monday."  
  
"Oh! I don't know about the fans, but I enjoyed it more this time."  
  
He nodded, draining nearly half the bottle.  
  
"I'm not going to apologise," he said it offhandedly, watching Tablo talking with the others.  
  
"I wasn't expecting you to." It was the truth. I might not have known him very well, but it was clear that he was the unapologetic type.  
  
"Good," he turned and disappeared towards the dressing room. Well, he was certainly honest in regards to himself. I rolled my eyes.  
  
After another minute of standing awkwardly aside, Tablo moved on from the boys and the boys moved past me to the dressing room. They offered smiles and "just a minute"s as they hurried by. I accepted them gladly, tiredness setting into my bones.  
  
I guess that oversleeping really can make you tired. I wracked my brain, trying to remember how to fix it.  _Was it a dehydration thing?_  
  
I had given water to the boys, but hadn't thought to actually drink anything since that morning. I enlisted Chul to help me track down water for myself. Being as he was far more familiar with the area, he found one pretty quickly. We settled outside the dressing room to wait for the boys again.  
  
     **From: Sooooo AH**  
     **I don't want to even think of how great the view is from where you are.**  
  
     **From: Sooooo AH**  
     **Being backstage... I'm stuck way in the back of the stands.**  
  
     **From: Sooooo AH**  
     **Part of me wants to know, but I know it will hurt if you tell me.**  
  
"Aish..."  
  
     _ **To: Sooooo AH**_  
     _ **Isn't that a bit much? I introduced you to Seungri and Daesung :P**_  
  
     **From: Sooooo AH**  
     **That was good but it wasn't YOUNGBAE-OPPA!!!**  
  
"This girl..." I shook my head slightly.  
  
"Your friend?" Seunghyun had finished changing.  
  
"Yes. She's apparently here, or was here for the show."  
  
Seunghyun held a hand out, gesturing for my phone. I warily handed it over. After looking at the messages for a second he tapped at the screen and lifted it to his ear.  
  
"What are you..."  
  
He held a hand up to shush me.  
  
"... Soo-ah?... Good. Do you know who I am?... That's right... I can't talk for long but..."  
  
He walked back into the dressing room.  
  
I looked at the camera, giving it an incredulous look. Chul smiled.  
  
"This guy... like he just owns everything."  
  
The door swung open again after just a second. Seunghyun was back, sans phone.  
  
"You owe me one."


	6. Intro Week: Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna takes some time to visit with Soo-ah. Bobby is a nuisance. T.O.P is... himself. Jiyong might be jealous again. Luna has some karaoke plans. Everyone drinks a little more than they should and gets along pretty well. Seungri drinks a lot more than he should and gets confident. Jiyong is definitely jealous, and protective.

I was allowed to sleep in again. I was pretty sure I would grow to treasure the days that they had schedules without me. When I first woke up I wandered into the kitchen, opening the fridge to be greeted by the bottle of wine that Jiyong had foisted on me last night.

> * * *
> 
> "When did you even get this?"
> 
> He shrugged, pulling two glasses from my cupboard, "I know a guy."
> 
> "That's not weird at all," I gave him a sceptical look, crossing my arms over my chest. "You know a guy. You know someone who went out and picked you up a bottle of wine. A guy who managed to bring it to you some time today. You know a guy. Of course. That's normal."
> 
> "Maybe," he worked the cork out by hand. I suppressed my eyebrow from rising. He carefully poured two glasses, then politely used both hands to hold one out to me.
> 
> "Are you always so suspicious?"
> 
> "I don't really have any reason not to be," I answered, accepting the glass.

* * *

It took me a while to notice that I already had a text from Jiyong.

> **From: Jiyong**   
>  **We have practise until 5. Norraebang tonight!**

I groaned.

> _**To: Jiyong** _   
>  _**Oh. Great. Norraebang. Cool.** _
> 
> **From: Jiyong**   
>  **I'm sure you'll do great.**
> 
> _**To: Jiyong** _   
>  _**Obviously. But only if they have English songs.** _
> 
> **From: Jiyong**   
>  **Stop it. Just let me choose your songs.**
> 
> **From: Jiyong**   
>  **It will be fun. Trust me.**

* * *

I didn't know what to do with my time, so I went out. I brought my journal and sketchbook down to Han River Park. There was a cute young family there. They looked like they could have been in an ad. I sketched them as my headphones softly surrounded me with my Nostalgia Rock playlist.

> _**To: Sooooo AH** _   
>  _**Want to meet me for lunch?** _
> 
> _**To: Sooooo AH** _   
>  _**Before you ask, yes, it's only me.** _
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH**   
>  **I wasn't going to ask that.**
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH**   
>  **Come by the shop. We can eat at King's.**

I packed up my pencils and sketch pad, after tearing out the mostly finished drawing. I slung my bag over my shoulder and approached the family. Bowing, I held the paper out to them.

"This would be better in your possession than mine."

_Smooth._

The mother hesitantly took the drawing. I knew I looked like a crazy person, but I didn't mind. What good was a picture of someone else's family to me?

I boarded the bus, letting my thoughts drift back to the previous night again.

> * * *
> 
> Jiyong's brows dipped slightly, but he kept quiet as I took my first sip. It was like dark chocolate covered raspberries.
> 
> "I retract my sarcasm. That is a good guy to know."
> 
> "It's not like he chose it," Jiyong laughed. "He's just good at following directions."

* * *

"Peizhi asked about you. Said you hadn't been to the studio lately."

I was sitting across from Soo-ah. The noodle place up the street from her art supply store had become a favourite spot of mine, thanks to her.

"Let me guess, Minsheng said that I must have a good reason?"

"Of course. I told them you had gotten a summer job."

I nodded. Maybe I should go visit them today. The Chinese couple owned a martial arts and dance studio. After Soo-ah, they were probably my closest friends.

"I'll have to push back my next test."

"I'm still not going to call you master. I don't care how many degrees you have."

I laughed. She had said the same thing before my previous test, but had immediately started referring to me as Sifu while in the studio.

"You could be right there with me you know. I don't see why you're still only at brown."

"Who has time for that?" She waved her hand impatiently, "tell me how it's been with the oppas!"

"You do realise that you're only younger than T.O.P, right?"

"Hush! This girl... I'm young at heart!"

* * *

> Silence filled the kitchen space. We stood, leaning against the counters, sipping the wine. It was slightly uncomfortable at first, but slowly got more relaxed. As soon as we were both finished, Jiyong washed the glasses. He didn't say anything as he did it. The quiet seemed important by this point. Talking would ruin it.
> 
> Jiyong dried the glasses and put them away. After replacing the stopper in the bottle, he put it into my fridge. Satisfied that my kitchen was spotless, he turned to smile at me.

* * *

"He washed the dishes?"

"I don't think that's quite the important part here."

* * *

> "I'll be going. Don't you dare convince yourself that this was a chore for me."
> 
> I laughed and nodded, following him to the door. After he pulled his shoes and jacket on, he stepped close to me. A little too close. He looked a little smug.

* * *

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god oh my god oh my god!"

I gave Soo-ah a cocked eyebrow. She clasped her hand over her mouth, her eyes pleading with me to keep going.

* * *

> "I think we get along well. What do you think?"
> 
> I thought for a second before answering.
> 
> "I think you wear masks."

* * *

"Masks?! You just said that to him?! He was going to kiss you! You can't just say that to him!"

"Yah, you want me to tell the story or not?"

Soo-ah shook her head, feigning shame. "Is it too early for me to drink? I can't believe you did that."

My phone chimed. I checked the screen. An unknown number was messaging me. I frowned as I unlocked the phone and opened it.

"Who is it? Jiyong-oppa?"

"Unknown number. Weird, it's kind of in English."

The message was a mix of languages and alphabets.

> **From: Unknown**   
>  **_Luna! It's your new favourite_ dongsaeng!**

I sifted through everyone I had met recently, then realised that nearly all of them were younger than me.

> _**To: Unknown** _   
>  _**I'll need a better hint than that.** _
> 
> **From: Unknown**   
>  **Hmm... I'm cute.**
> 
> _**To: Unknown** _   
>  _**Jinhwan?** _
> 
> **From: Unknown**   
>  **I'm a trouble maker.**
> 
> **From: Unknown**   
>  **Wow. Rude. No.**
> 
> **From: Unknown**   
>  **I'm way cuter than that hyung.**

"Okay, so someone younger than Jinhwan," I mumbled. That didn't exactly help. I had no idea about specific ages.

"You met Jinhwan?"

"Give me a second Soo-ah. I think it might be Mino."

> _**To: Unknown** _   
>  _**Cuter than Jinhwan? Unless this is Jinwoo or Hanbin, I'm adding "delusional" to the list of hints.** _
> 
> _**To: Unknown** _   
>  _**Though, Jinwoo hardly seems like a troublemaker.** _
> 
> **From: Unknown**   
>  **Wow. Why is Mino even interested in someone so mean?**

"Or not Mino. This is dumb."

> **From: Unknown**   
>  **It's me! It's Jiwon! I don't even care anymore!**

"It's Bobby. I can't believe he thinks he's cuter than Jinhwan."

"I can't believe you're complaining while getting texted by him."

> _**To: Bobby** _   
>  _**Oh. Right. That explains the troublemaker part. What do you want?** _

"I can't believe this. Do you know how much your phone is worth right now? You have the numbers of everyone in Big Bang, you've got Bobby's number..." She shook her head, this time in amazement, "Do you know what would happen if you ever lost your phone? Or it was stolen?"

"They'd all change their numbers."

My phone started ringing. I rolled my eyes. Soo-ah frantically gestured for me to pick up.

"Yes, Bobby?"

"I'm bored. Also, I take back what I said, call me Jiwon."

"Okay, Jiwon. So you're bored. How did you even get my number?"

" _I told Jiyong I had lost my phone. Borrowed his to call mine. Sent myself your number._ "

" _That's messed up._ "

"I know. What are..."

Soo-ah plucked the phone from my hand.

"I'm so sorry for my dongsaeng's manners Mr. Kim. She's very rude sometimes... Soo-ah... I see... We're at King's Noodles... The address? I'm not sure of the number but..."

I barely resisted the urge to bang my head against the table. I knew there'd be no stopping this. I was stuck between an enthusiastic rock and a hyperactive hard place.

"Alright, we'll be here. Nice to speak with you," Soo-ah ended the call and handed the phone back to me.

"Okay. So Jiyong wears masks?"

* * *

> This was clearly not the answer he had been looking for. He didn't seem offended, just surprised. Nodding thoughtfully, he lifted my hand up. When he had taken hold of it, I didn't know. I had been too distracted by how closely he was standing to me.
> 
> "You're not wrong," he brushed his lips over my knuckles. He stepped back and opened the door. Standing halfway in the hallway, he smiled again.
> 
> "I don't always wear them though."

* * *

"And?!" Soo-ah looked like she was about to vault over the table.

"And what?"

"That was it? He kissed your hand and left?" She slumped back in her seat, a hand pressed to her chest. Her dramatic flare was out of control right now.

"What else would there be? You want me to describe how he shut the door?"

"Oh my god! Give me something to work with here," she was leaning forward now. "Did you stare forlornly at the door?" She reached out and shook my shoulders. "Did he text you at least?!"

"No. He left. I made one of these faces," I squeezed my eyebrows together, mimicking the confusion of last night, "and then I went to bed. The end."

She sat back down in her seat, letting go of me.

"Fine. If it was a drama he'd text you."

"It's not a drama. It's my life."

"Well you should make it more dramatic!"

"Jiwon literally stole my number out of Jiyong's phone. That's already way more drama than I want."

* * *

"Don't you have other friends you could be bothering?"

"They're not as pretty as you two."

I shook my head into my hands. I wasn't positive, but I felt like I was not supposed to be hanging out with Jiwon. At least not without cameras.

I chaperoned Soo-ah and Jiwon for about two hours. It was clear that Jiwon was just using me as an escape. He carefully avoided talking about work, opting instead to ask Soo-ah questions about her store and how we knew each other.

"Uwaaa! Noona is really that dangerous? No wonder she was so serious when she was scolding me yesterday."

"Don't be dramatic Jiwon. Soo-ah, you need to reorder the phthalocyanine. The dioxazine is running low too."

Soo-ah came and checked the cases.

"I guess sunsets are getting popular again," she headed towards the back room. "I think I've got the blue in the back."

Jiwon trailed behind me as I looked over the acrylics.

"Do you paint a lot?"

"That depends what you mean by a lot," I crouched down, checking to see if there were extra paints under the counter. "I have the feeling I won't get much time for it while I'm doing the show."

"I thought you were recording music with them?"

"Oh. Ah..." I stood and pretended to inspect the easels, "I'm not sure if I'm allowed to talk about it, you know?"

* * *

> **From: Seungri**   
>  **Come to dinner with us.**
> 
> **From: Seungri**   
>  **We'll be there in half an hour.**

"I need to head back. The boys want to go to dinner."

"Lunaaa..."

"Nope. No. No way. They do not need to know that you've been hanging around me for amusement all day."

> _**To: Seungri** _   
>  _**Where are we going? Should I dress nicer or no?** _

"Noona please!"

"Aish, what's so bad about staying and hanging out with Soo-ah?"

Jiwon looked guiltily at Soo-ah.

"Nothing, Soo-ah noonim is great, I just don't know her well enough to impose on her like that."

Soo-ah waved the comment away, deeming it as unoffensive.

"This kid, he doesn't know you well enough? I only met him a few days ago."

"Hyungnim introduced us. It's different. Noonaaaahhh... Just let me come."

I decided to take a chance with being honest.

"Do you really want to deal with jealous seniors? Seunghyun has already warned me to keep you kids at a distance."

My phone chimed, Seunghyun's name flashing on the screen.

"Speak of the devil."

> **From: Seunghyun**   
>  **I'll come help you choose an outfit**

"What? Like he's the boss of you?" Jiwon kept whining as I read the text.

> _**To: Seunghyun** _   
>  _**I'm good, thanks.** _

"As if you're his girlfriend or something..."

> **From: Seunghyun**   
>  **No you're not. I'll come help.**

"Wait..."

> _**To: Seunghyun** _   
>  _**I'm not even at the hotel right now. I met with Soo-ah.** _

"Oh my god!"

> **From: Seunghyun**   
>  **Where are you? I'll come pick you up.**

Jiwon grabbed my shoulders, shaking me slightly and switching to English.

" _Is that why you're hanging out with them? Are you dating one of them? Seunghyun?!_ "

"Wow, no," I returned the conversation to Korean, knowing Soo-ah wasn't fluent and not wanting to be rude. "I am not dating any of them."

"Well..."

"Soo-ah."

"I'm just saying it's a possibility!"

"No," I shook my head emphatically. "It really isn't."

"I don't know noona, they seem pretty protective."

My phone chimed again.

> **From: Seunghyun**   
>  **Where are you?**
> 
> _**To: Seunghyun** _   
>  _**With Soo-ah. I'll catch a train back.** _

Shoving my phone into my pocket, I looked up at Soo-ah and Jiwon, "I have to head back. They want me to come..."

My phone started ringing. I rolled my eyes. Seunghyun's name was flashing across the screen.

"Jiwon, you need to keep quiet."

Jiwon grinned, but placed a finger over his lips. I glared at him as I answered the phone.

"Yes?"

"Where are you?"

"Why is this so..."

"It will be faster for me to pick you up than for you to take the subway."

"I doubt that."

"Just tell me where you are."

We argued for a minute, I explaining that I valued privacy and the ability to slip away, Seunghyun pointing out that I was about to become a semi-celebrity whether I liked it or not.

Soo-ah took matters, and my phone, into her own hands again.

"Mr. Choi? I'm Im Soo-ah... Yes... Yes of course... The address? It's..."

I stared at her, mouth hanging open. Her entire body was tensed, being hyper-polite. She finally handed the phone back to me.

"Seunghyun?"

"I'll be there in ten minutes. Try not to cause any trouble."

With that, he hung up. I made a face at my phone.

"This guy... Like I'm a child or something!"

Jiwon laughed, "what did he say?"

"That he'll be here in ten minutes and for me to stay out of trouble. As if I make trouble! You were the one making trouble yesterday!" I nudged Jiwon's shoulder. He just laughed harder.

"I didn't make you get lost. Jinhwan-hyung is terrified of you now by the way."

"What? Why? I didn't..."

"Well," he scratched at his neck, "more like he's terrified of what Seunghyun-hyung might do. Jinhwan-hyung says that he thinks you're great, that your laugh is infectious, and that he's not going to risk getting murdered to be friends with you, no matter how cute you are when you get lost."

"Luna, you need to introduce me to these boys! If they think you're cute, just imagine what they'd think of me."

I ignored Soo-ah, "Jinhwan did not say that."

"He did!" Jiwon nodded emphatically. "Though, he probably didn't want me to tell you the part about being cute. Just the part about Seunghyun-hyung murdering him."

"Speaking of... You should probably leave before he gets here."

"He can't be that bad."

Jiwon and I just stared at Soo-ah. Jiwon let out a laugh, I just blinked at her. Neither of us managed to say anything for a solid minute.

"Soo-ah... I know that he's your precious oppa and whatever but he can get a little..." I looked at Jiwon for help.

"Scary. Intimidating. Menacing."

"Intense," I carefully articulated. I heard the bell above the shop door jingle before I continued. "I'll never give him the satisfaction of calling him scary."

"Who are you giving satisfaction to?"

I shut my eyes and sighed heavily. Of course he'd overestimate how long it would take to get here.

"No one. I literally said I'll never give him..."

"'...the satisfaction of calling him scary.' So who's scaring you?" He draped an arm over my shoulders. Everything about his body language was possessive. One of his legs was slightly behind mine, allowing his grip on my shoulders to pull me against the front of his left hip. He kept his right hand in his pocket, keeping his cocky attitude apparent. It felt like a pose he learned doing photo-shoots. It practically screamed Armani, but that might have just been his jacket.

"No one," I adjusted my stance, trying to create space between us.

"Good. Now, we should get going. Jiwon, a moment?"

He led Jiwon out of the store. Soo-ah and I watched through the window as they talked. Seunghyun's face was impassive, impossible to read. Jiwon started out with a smile but it faltered quickly. Shaking his head and waving his hands in protest, he looked a bit pale. He flinched when Seunghyun put a hand on his shoulder, eyes downcast as the elder man said something. Jiwon nodded, said something, and left.

Seunghyun came back inside, looking entirely unfazed. He bowed to Soo-ah.

"Thank you for letting me see your shop, Im-ssi. We have to go, but I'm sure we will see each other again some time."

Soo-ah politely returned the bow, softly saying her goodbyes. She stopped me momentarily, running into the back room of her shop. She hauled out another luggage case.

“Here, I think you should be all set by now.”

Seunghyun offered me his arm. I ignored it, starting towards the door after hugging Soo-ah. Seunghyun took the luggage and shoved it into the back of his car.

We settled ourselves in the car in silence. I was too annoyed to even properly marvel at the luxury car that he had shown up in. He started the engine, but didn't pull out into the street. I didn't have to look at him to know that he was staring me down.

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me that Jiwon was here?"

"I didn't think it mattered," I leaned my head back, resisting the urge to cross my arms like an angry toddler.

"I warned you yesterday to be careful. I told you that they won't... They're not your friends."

I rolled my eyes, finally turning to look at him. "It's cute that you're trying to be protective, but trust me when I say I can handle anything that happens. Besides," I turned my gaze back to the street, "it's really not your decision."

"I'm not saying it's my decision," he threw the car into gear, "I'm just saying that their intentions..."

"Who cares? They can intend whatever they want. Besides, you said I had to be careful around you too."

Silence took over the car's interior again.

* * *

He followed me all the way to my room, still in silence. I stopped inside my door.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I'm safe now."

"I said I'd help you get dressed," he brushed past me. "Go shower, I'll get your clothes ready."

I opted not to argue. I could just agree with some outfit, get him out of the suite, and then do what I wanted.

I made sure the bathroom door was locked. The hot water was more than welcome, easing some of the tension that had built that day. I showered as quickly as I could, not wanting to leave Seunghyun alone in my room for long.

Making sure I was tightly bundled and thoroughly covered by the plush hotel robe, I stepped out into the hall.

"Seunghyun?"

"In here," the voice came from my bedroom.

As I stepped through the door, I spotted three outfits laid out on my bed. Seunghyun stood looking them over. He glanced at me.

"The one I like," he gestured to the first outfit. Grey leggings, black skirt, white blouse.

"The one that the others would like," he waved at the second outfit. Red jeans, white tank top, black cardigan.

"The one you'd like," a nod to the last one. Blue jeans, long sleeve tshirt, sleeveless jumper.

"Well, you're not wrong." I stepped forward and started picking up pieces from each. "But it will be a bit hot at norraebang, right? So not too many layers. Go."

He tilted his head at me.

"Go! I need to change."

"And?" His eyes swept over me, "it's not like I haven't seen a woman..."

I physically pushed him out of the room.

Swinging the door open a minute later, I revealed the combination I had chosen. He nodded.

"Not bad. Let's look at your make-up."

"You just like playing dress-up, don't you?"

"Yep," he ushered me into the bathroom. "Plus, it lets you know what I like, right?"

"Who cares what you like?"

"You will," he cupped my chin in his hand. I thought he was about to kiss me, and I froze. Instead he simply inspected my skin. "Eventually you will. You've got pretty good skin."

"Uh... Thanks, I guess."

He sat on the counter and started going through my make-up. It was a weird contrast to how he had been acting so far. It reminded me of when my older sister had first taught me how apply make-up. He mixed some foundation with moisturiser on the back of his hand, then waved me forward.

I leaned forward and he started dabbing it onto me.

"Jiyong is better at this than me, if I'm honest."

"I can do it myself too."

"Yeah," he nodded, turning my face to shine light where he needed it. "I want to do it though."

"You're difficult."

"But not scary, right?" He quirked an eyebrow at me.

"Of course not."

He smirked as he concentrated on my make-up. As he moved on to my eyeliner my phone started ringing. Seeing Jiyong's name on the screen I answered on speaker phone.

"Calling about dinner?"

"Yes. I'll come collect you. Fifteen minutes enough?"

"I've got her."

"Seunghyun? Where are you two?"

"He's..."

"Stop moving. I'm doing her make-up."

I couldn't tell if the noise that came through my speaker was a laugh or a gasp.

"I've got to see this."

The call disconnected.

"Why..."

"Stop moving. Close your eyes."

I squinted at him, "I don't know if I trust you with my eyes closed."

"Just do it," he poked my bottom lip with his pinky.

I gave him what I hoped was a warning glare and dropped my eyelids slowly. I felt him start applying and blending eye-shadow.

"If I end up looking like a clown..."

"Why would I do that? I'm the one that has to look at it."

"You're such a jerk."

"You complain too much."

"You're full of yourself."

"Would you rather be the one full of me?"

I pushed him back, taking a step back myself. I stared at him as he burst out laughing.

"What did you..."

"You're too easy to get to," he reached out and pulled me back I front of him. Hooking a leg around mine, he locked me between his legs.

"You..."

"I won't do anything," he picked up the angle brush, "no matter how much I know you want me to."

"Oh my god."

He grinned, but quickly turned serious again. "Close your eyes. I'm not even done with the first one yet."

I huffed, but complied with his demand. The feeling of the brushes would have been relaxing in the hands of anyone else. Seeing as how it was Seunghyun though...

"Stop twitching."

"I can't help it!"

"Why are you like this?"

"I don't trust you. You're too close."

The brush lifted and I felt a shift in his body. The legs behind me moving slightly.

"I can get a lot closer," his breath fanned over my ear.

_Maybe I'm playing this wrong._

I kept my eyes shut as I ran a hand up his abdomen to his chest. I heard his breathing stop.

"What are you..."

I pushed him back, hard. He squeezed his legs tightly around mine to act as a counterweight.

"Yah! What was that for?!"

"For being a creep. Now are you going to do my make-up or are you going to keep being a pervert about it?"

"Fine, fine." He picked up a lighter shade of eye-shadow. Dipping the brush in, he leaned forward again. I closed my eyes. "I bet you liked having an excuse to touch me though."

"Seunghyun, I swear to god I am going to slap you."

"Oh, good thing I like it rough then."

"Oh my god."

"Aish! What did I just walk into?!"

I spun. Well, I tried to spin. Seunghyun's legs held me in place, so I could only really twist my upper body towards the bathroom door.

"Jiyong-ah! How did you get in here?"

He held up a key card, "I have spares for everyone's rooms. Now what the hell is..."

"Thank god you're here," Seunghyun unlocked his legs. "She's been arguing with me the whole time," he pushed me back and slid from the counter top. "You finish her make-up," he handed the brush to Jiyong.

"I can do it myself!"

"See?" He brushed past Jiyong, "so argumentative."

Jiyong was left with the brush in hand, his eyebrow up, and an interested glint in his eye.

"So, make-up?"

"I can't stand that boy."

"You seemed to be standing him pretty well," Jiyong stepped forward, picking up the pot of eye-shadow that Seunghyun had put down. He jerked his eyebrows slightly, "and standing pretty closely."

"I wasn't... Seunghyun..."

"Relax," he laughed. "I know how he is. Close your eyes while I guess."

I shut my eyes and Jiyong set to work.

"He probably said something out of line, right?"

"Obviously."

"So he had to tangle you up to get you to stay in place."

"Yes."

"And he probably said a few more, ah, less than polite things."

"I'm offended Jiyong," I shot an eye open. Seunghyun was standing in the doorway. He held the bottle of wine from last night in his hand. "I'm a gentleman. This looks like your doing. Where are the glasses?"

"Same place they always are."

Seunghyun disappeared. I checked my watch. 5:28.

"Isn't it a bit early?"

"Not for him. Eyes. I'm nearly done."

A minute and a half later Jiyong told me I was finished. He fluttered his fingers over the lipstick scattered next to the sink.

"I'd suggest the peony," Seunghyun was back, a glass of wine in each hand.

"I..."

"She doesn't like those colours much," Jiyong picked up two tubes. "You want the Bruised Currant or the Showstopper?"

I smiled and pointed to the Bruised Currant in his hand. Seunghyun put the second glass of wine on the counter next to me. The bathroom felt crowded, though it may have been because Seunghyun had manoeuvred between Jiyong and I. He had taken the lipstick from Jiyong's hand, backing me up against the counter.

"What have I got to do to make you smile at me like that?"

"You could try not being such a creep."

Seunghyun lifted both hands, tugging my bottom lip down slightly as he applied the lipstick. It felt surreal. When he finished I turned to look in the mirror.

“You're not bad for a dude.”

I heard Jiyong laugh behind me. Seunghyun didn't reply except to lift the glass he had put down and hold it in front of me. I took it from him, but didn't drink.

"Trying to get her to loosen up Seunghyun?"

"You're the one that brought the bottle, Jiyong."

“Why are we still in my bathroom?”

I herded them out to my living room. It seemed like they were going to keep making smart remarks to each other, so I decided to try to change the subject.

"We should get going, right? For dinner?"

Jiyong took a seat on the sofa, Seunghyun opted for the love-seat.

"Not yet. Seungri is probably still doing his hair.

"That reminds me..."

I wanted to take a minute to straighten my hair, so I headed back to the bathroom.

"Behave, you two," I called over my shoulder.

I leaned over the sink, staring at my reflection. _How did I get into this? How many times am I going to ask myself that before this is done?_

I sighed and hauled my flat-iron out of the drawer. I made a mental note to thank Soo-ah for thinking of pretty much everything.

As I worked some heat protectant cream through my mostly dry hair I heard a door open and shut. Poking my head out of the bathroom door, I looked around. I couldn't see anything of note, so I walked out towards the living room. Jiyong was still there, smirking to himself, taking up far too much space on the sofa.

"Seunghyun left?"

"Yeah," he stood, starting in my direction. "What are you doing?"

"Hair. Why'd he leave? Not that I mind."

Jiyong laughed, twitching his eyebrows flirtatiously.

"You like being alone with me that much?"

"I could take you or leave you," I traipsed back to the bathroom. "I like not being bossed around by Seunghyun."

"Ah, I'm not so bad though, right?"

"I guess."

He was leaning on the door frame by now, watching me smooth out the oncoming frizz.

"He left because he doesn't know how to act. He didn't like being interrupted in the middle of what I'm sure was a poorly planned out seduction."

"That's his idea of seduction? Bossing you around? Insisting you're incapable of making your own style decisions?"

"I said it was poorly planned. He's precise, but not really..." Jiyong pursed his lips, evidently at a loss for words.

"Tactful?" I offered.

"Exactly."

* * *

"Just try it! It's so good!"

I shied away from the samgyeopsal that Seungri was offering me.

"I can't. Stop pouting, I really can't."

"Come on! I cooked it well."

"She's Jewish Seungri. Give it a rest."

I smiled at Taeyang.

"So?"

"It's **pork** belly," Taeyang answered pointedly.

Seungri looked between me and the meat between his chopsticks. Understanding finally washed over his face.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't even think of that."

"It's okay. I mean, I'm not really that Jewish anyway, right?"

"So you'll try it?"

"Uh, no."

* * *

"Here, here, do this one!"

"Jiyong-ah! I don't even know this group. How can I sing for a group I don't know?"

"Fine! Daesung you sing this one, I have to find one for our princess."

I scoffed at Jiyong as he searched through the song catalog.

"Princess? I'm a princess just because I don't want to embarrass myself on TV?"

"Yes. Now come here and look with me," Jiyong reached out and pulled me across the seat cushions. He pointed to song after song, I ardently vetoed most of them.

"Beyoncé? Maybe, but... I don't know..."

"Why not? It's in English, you have a relaxed voice like her. You'll do great."

"Okay, okay but not..."

He entered the song selection to the queue. He shone a devilish grin at me. I tried to keep my expression worried.

"Can they even broadcast that?"

"No. It's a practice run for you."

I rolled my eyes as Seungri leaned over me to ask Jiyong which one he had chosen.

"Aish hyung! That's a bit too much."

"It will be fun."

"No! No, Luna, you don't have to..."

"I'll do it if you buy my drinks for the rest of the night," I challenged Jiyong. He just smiled wider.

"I'll pay for everyone's drinks for the rest of the night if you do it."

I eyed him, trying to gauge if he knew he had fallen for my trick.

There were two songs before I had to sing. I was halfway through my third somaek when it finally came up.

"Shit, okay, give me that shot glass. Quickly! Before it starts!"

Daesung passed me a nearly spilling shot, grinning at my nervous demeanour. I downed it quickly, trying to get into a performance character.

"I've been drinking, I've been drinking..."

* * *

A very drunk Seungri was suspended between Daesung and I. He was singing, varying between soft whispers and nearly deafening shouts.

"Let's talk about love, let's talk about love!"

I looked across his chest at Daesung, "is he always like this when he drinks?"

"It's your fault."

"Let's talk about YOU! LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUUUU LUNA SING!"

"How is it my fault?!"

"You got Jiyong to buy our drinks."

"Lunaaaaa!" Seungri clasped his arms around my neck, shifting the entirety of his weight onto my shoulders. "Siiiing with meeee! I'll teach you. Okay? It starts like this: let's talk about..."

Jiyong leaned into my non-Seungri dominated ear, "if you want him to let go, just go stand by Seunghyun."

"Why?"

He just nodded towards Seunghyun. I looked over in time to see him lighting a cigarette.

"That's mean Jiyong."

"It'd work," he shrugged, "but if you don't mind the skinship..." He gave me a smug look.

* * *

Seungri was still draped over my shoulders when we got back to the hotel. In his drunkenness he, like so many people, had reverted to toddler style behaviour. When we got to the car he insisted on sitting next to me so he could rest his head on my lap. Getting him in and out of the car was an exercise in patience, getting him into the elevator was much easier.

Jiyong looped his arm through mine, walking towards the elevator. I tugged at him, trying to stay back to help the others with Seungri.

"We need to get Seungri."

"He's in his clingy state. As soon as he notices that you're gone he'll..."

"Lunaaa!" Seungri's arms wrapped around me, tightly pinning my arms to my sides. Jiyong chuckled next to me.

"What is it Seungri?"

"I need your help."

"I didn't realise Luna was a psychologist," Taeyang said as he followed the maknae into the elevator.

"I can't walk on my own," Seungri kept going, ignoring Taeyang.

"Okay, why do you need my help then?"

"You're my guide now," with that, he slumped all of his weight onto me.

I stumbled slightly, coming to a steady rest pinned between the elevator wall, Seungri, and Jiyong's hand on my back.

* * *

Between Jiyong and I, getting Seungri to his room was still a hassle. We finally flopped him onto his bed. Taking a moment to catch our breath, the three of us splayed on the mattress. I started giggling.

"What's so funny?" Jiyong pushed himself up on his elbows, looking at me across Seungri's chest.

"This is so ridiculous," I shook my head.

"What is?" Seungri's eyes were closed as he asked it.

"Everything. This. You."

Jiyong nodded, falling back onto his back. Seungri groaned.

"Jiyong-ah, we still have work to do."

Jiyong's turn to groan.

"Come on," I sat up, "we need to at least get his shoes off."

"Fine, fine, I'll do his shoes, you get his jacket."

I suspected I was getting the short end of the stick, but Jiyong was already on his knees unlacing Seungri's shoes.

"Come on Seungri," I knelt on the bed behind Seungri, trying to lift his shoulders. "I need you to sit up."

"I need you to lay down."

"Just do it Seungri," Jiyong demanded from the bedside.

I leaned forward, seeing that Seungri's shoes were off. Jiyong was laying on the floor next to them.

"Aish, how drunk are you two?"

"I,” Jiyong lifted a finger, “am not drunk, I am exhausted." Seungri simply shrugged.

Realising that Seungri was not going to be easily moved, I changed my tactic. I got off the bed, standing in front of his legs. I grabbed one of his hands and pulled him up, leverage working much better from here.

"Finally, now just this sleeve..."

Seungri didn't resist as I pulled his jacket off. He didn't help, but at least he didn't resist. I tossed the jacket on the bed next to him. Seungri undid the top few buttons on his shirt.

"Done?"

"Done."

"Good," Seungri reached up. Tugging me by my waist, he pulled me to straddle his lap. "You're very pretty."

"Ooookay..." I freed his hands from my body and moved to stand up.

"Stay here," Seungri replaced his grip on my waist, this time a bit lower.

"Oh my god! Seungri, I'm still right here," Jiyong pulled himself up from the floor. "Also, if she's trying to leave," he flopped back to his previous place next to Seungri, "you should just let her leave."

I couldn't help but smile at the two boys. Seungri grinned up at me in response. I opened my mouth to defend my self-reliance.

"I think... Heol!"

Seungri pulled me down, this time turning and shifting on the bed. I landed in a tangle between him and Jiyong. Jiyong grunted, since I had landed somewhat on top of him.

"Seungriiii..." I groaned, closing my eyes in my building annoyance.

"Hmm?" I felt the boys shift, making room for me. Fingertips brushed my hair from my face. I furrowed my brows, eyes still shut.

"What's wrong?" Seungri's voice on my right.

"This feels dangerous."

"Even with me here?" Jiyong from my left. I opened my eyes, surprised to see that it was Jiyong's hands readjusting my hair. My face felt warm.

I pushed myself up, "especially with you here." I stood up, "I should go." I opened the bedroom door, "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Jiyong scrambled up from the bed. Seungri murmured a goodbye before rolling onto his side and hugging a pillow.

* * *

Jiyong followed me out, not speaking until we were outside of Seungri's suite.

"Do I seem dangerous to you?"

"A little bit," I shrugged, "it's nothing personal though. Being alone with one drunk person has a certain level of danger, being alone with two drunk people is especially dangerous."

I turned to look at him. He was chewing on his lip, but nodded for me to continue.

"It has nothing to do with who it is. More people, more danger. More alcohol, more danger."

We were standing in front of the elevator now. I hit the up button.

"I know that me saying it doesn't prove it, but the reason I was there..." Jiyong stopped. He pouted slightly, apparently gathering his thoughts.

"The reason you helped with Seungri?"

"Yes. I... I mean Seungri isn't dangerous but I know what you mean about drunk people... But that's not it either..." The elevator dinged, the doors sliding open. I stepped inside. Jiyong put his hand up, stopping the doors from closing.

"Can I?"

I nodded. Might as well let him finish his thought.

He stood in an opposite corner of the elevator. It was obvious he was trying to be mindful of whether or not I saw him as dangerous.

"You know," I leaned towards him, "you can act naturally. I said it wasn't personal."

He smiled, "sorry. There's no way to not be suspicious right now, is there?" He hit the button for floor seventeen.

"You were saying the reason you came with me to Seungri's room."

"Right. Well," he ran his hand over his hair, "not that Seungri is a threat to you, but I wanted to protect you." He notably avoided looking at me. I laughed.

"What? Why is that funny?"

The doors slid open and I just shook my head at him as I walked through them. As expected, he followed me.

"Tell me... What's funny about that?... Do I seem that weak?... I know I'm no Youngbae or Seunghyun, but I could help if I had to..."

"Oh my god. That is entirely not why I'm laughing."

"Then what's so funny about me wanting to make sure that you were safe?"

"Because that's not the real reason. That's the secondary reason."

"That's really why I was there."

We had reached my door. I swiped my card, opening the door. I turned to face Jiyong, backing into my suite.

"But there's more to it, isn't there?"

"What else is there?" He looked at me challengingly.

"Come in. I'll explain over the rest of that wine."

Once in my kitchen, Jiyong watched as I worked the stopper from the bottle.

"Isn't this making this more dangerous? More alcohol, more danger?"

"I'm not making you stay here."

"Sure you are," he moved to stand next to me, getting two glasses down from the cupboard. "You still haven't told me what you think my real reason for going with you is."

I filled the glasses. Lifting one I walked to the living room.

Settling myself on one end of the sofa, I sipped the wine. I watched as Jiyong carefully sat at the other end. He looked at me pointedly.

"Fine," I put the glass on the table, "you came because you were jealous."

His reaction was immediate. He straightened his back, tilting his head and scoffing slightly.

"I'm not jealous."

"You just wanted to make sure that nothing happened," I scooted towards him a bit.

"Right."

"You went out of your way to make sure that Seungri didn't try anything with me," I leaned towards him.

"Well, sure," he didn't look at me. He took a second to gulp some wine. "To make sure you were safe."

"To make sure I was safe."

"Yes."

"Because you were jealous."

"I'm not jealous!" He turned to me earnestly, eyes wide. “I don't get jealous.”

"Okay. So you wouldn't mind if I went back to Seungri's room? Alone?" I pulled my phone from my pocket, "I doubt he fell asleep already."

"What?" He stared at me blankly, "why would you..."

I lifted my glass from the table, sipping it as I unlocked my phone. I spoke after putting my cup back down.

"It's not like I'd barge in. I'll text him first." I held my phone up, showing Jiyong the not yet sent message.

> _**To: Seungri** _   
>  _**Do you mind if I come back down?** _

Jiyong pulled the phone from my hand. He tapped the back button, erasing the words. A frown on his face.

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's not..." Jiyong put my phone on the table. "Because Seungri... You just..." He looked frustrated, eyebrows knit, face slightly red. I leaned forward, my expression clearly amused.

"You seem jealous."

"I'm not."

"Fine," I moved back to my original seat. "That's good. I mean, at least that way I know you won't interfere next week."

"Next week?"

"Yeah, don't I spend all week with Seungri? Dates and stuff?"

"Dates? I guess..." Jiyong was the one leaning forward now, slowly sliding towards me.

"Isn't that the whole point of the show? Dates each week, choose one of you at the end?"

"I guess," he was sitting next to me now, any more movement and he'd be touching me.

"So it's good that you're not jealous."

More movement, our legs pressing against each other.

"It won't cause a problem if Seungri tries anything."

Swift movement, his arm around my shoulder now.

"If you're worried about Seungri... I'll tell him not to."

"Because you're **not** jealous?"

"Right."

"And if he doesn't listen? I mean, first kiss is the third date, right? And he's got a whole week."

"He won't."

"But if he does?"

An annoyed look crossed Jiyong's face.

"Seungri could be my first kiss in... over a year now."

"What?"

"What?"

"Nobody has kissed you in a year?"

"It's actually closer to two years."

Jiyong looked like someone had just told him that the earth was flat. He ran his free hand through his hair.

"Man... You definitely can't let Seungri be the first to kiss you."

"Why's that?"

"It's like a first kiss all over again. He'll ruin it," his hand on my shoulder started fidgeting. "He'll mess it up trying to rush it. I mean, you saw him tonight."

I leaned forward to drain my wineglass. I smirked at Jiyong as I sat back.

"It sounds like you're a little jealous."

"No," this boy could not keep his hands still. Brushing my hair out of my face, his face softened a bit, "I just want your experience to go well."

"So it's more like you're being protective?"

"Yes."

"They're basically the same thing."

"How so?"

"They both come from a sense of ownership. Jealousy is ‘this is mine, and no one else can touch it’ and protectiveness is ‘this is mine and it's up to me to protect it.’"

"Either way I end up looking like a jerk."

"Not really," I shrugged, "it only makes you a jerk if you handle it poorly. Aigo," I shook my head, "I feel like I'm lecturing you."

"I think of it more as me getting to know you," Jiyong retorted, flashing a cheesy grin. He hauled himself off of the sofa, heading towards the door.

"I should let you sleep. Blank schedules are rarely a good thing."

I trailed behind him to the entryway.

"What do you think it will be?"

"Who knows?" He sighed as he pulled his shoes on. Settling his attire, he smiled at me, "it won't be too bad. It might not feel like it, but they're trying to ease you in."

"Thank god for small mercies."

"I'll keep an eye on you," Jiyong hugged me tightly, "don't worry."

"I wasn't worried about tomorrow. If anything," I de-tangled myself from Jiyong's arms, "I'm a little worried about the solo weeks."

"Have you given me a nickname in your phone yet?"

My brows dipped. Talk about a non-sequitur.

"No. Why?"

"Give me your phone."

I dug it out of my pocket, unlocked it, and handed it over. Jiyong tapped at the screen for a minute before handing it back. I looked at the screen to see that he had changed his contact name to  룡 보호 . I looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Dragon shield?"

"Yes. I'll be there when you need anything."

"I get the feeling that I'm going to see a lot of you during the other members' weeks."

"Of course. I'm the leader. I have to check in on my team."

"Ah, so you're just trying to protect Big Bang?"

"And you."

It's strange how well two people can pretend to ignore how close together they're standing. I was conscious, but not entirely aware, of the fact that the only thing dividing us was cloth and my own hand, still clutching my phone. The warmth radiating from the man in front of me seemed to be muting my cognitive function. Then he delicately brushed my bangs aside, his fingertips making contact with my skin and waking me up.

"Ji..."

"Yes?" He bent his head slightly.

"I thought you were leaving."

There's a special place in the afterlife for people who can not only take a hint, but handle it gracefully.

* * *

> **From: Lyong Boho**   
>  **I didn't mean to cross a line.**
> 
> _**To: Lyong Boho** _   
>  _**You didn't.** _


	7. Intro Week: Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies and self-awareness make an appearance. Group chats exist. Luna gets to spend some more time with the younger artists. Jiyong is indecisive. Daesung is a calming force. There's an episode viewing party. Jiyong is a flirt, but also... something else. Seungri is bad at making schedules.

I got up early to go to the gym. Well, relatively early, considering how late Jiyong had stayed. _It wasn't noon yet, that's early, right?_

I checked my messages as I rode the elevator down.

> **From: Seungri**   
>  **Thank you for helping me last night.**
> 
> **From: Seungri**   
>  **I'm sorry for being such a mess.**
> 
> **From: Seungri**   
>  **And... If I was inappropriate at all.**

I couldn't help but smile a little.

> _**To: Seungri** _   
>  _**You were manageable. No problems.** _
> 
> _**To: Seungri** _   
>  _**I think Jiyong was a little jealous though.** _

I switched over to my conversation with Jiyong and immediately laughed to see my words mirrored there.

> **From: Lyong Boho**   
>  **Maybe you're right.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho**   
>  **I was a little jealous.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho**   
>  **I still can't believe it's been two years though!**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho**   
>  **That's a travesty!**
> 
> _**To: Lyong Boho** _   
>  _**Is this the part where you offer to fix it?** _
> 
> _**To: Lyong Boho** _   
>  _**Out of the kindness of your heart, of course.** _
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho**   
>  **What?! No! I wasn't going to do that!**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho**   
>  **Have a little faith in me. Aish.**

* * *

The gym was silent. Not a single person was in sight, save for the bored attendant flipping through a comic book. I wondered if Taeyang and I were the only guests who used the expansive facilities. I wasn't sure, but it seemed as if the gym, and the attached sauna, yoga room, and locker rooms, took up the entirety of the fifth floor. I slung my towel and little bag into one of the lockers and started skimming through my playlists. I felt the need for exhaustion.

Finally settling on a playlist that I knew was heavy with trap, I climbed onto one of the stationary bikes.

I received a few texts as I rode, but ignored them. The playlist had looped around once already when my phone actually started ringing. _Fine, if it really can't wait._ I clicked the mic on my headphones to answer.

"Yes?"

"Where are you?"

"Why is that all you people ever want to know?"

"Daesung, Seungri, and I want to go get lunch."

"Have fun."

"We want you to come with us."

"I'm in the gym."

"Oh god. This will take forever. Maybe we should try for dinner."

"Funny. I guess I can stop. I've already been here for," I glanced at the readout on the bike, "nearly two hours."

"Aish, you're going to kill yourself."

"Says the idol. Give me ten minutes here, then shower time. I'll be ready to go in about half an hour."

"Alright, but be prepared for Seungri whining about you making us wait."

"Yeah, yeah. I think he'll live."

I clicked the mic again, disconnecting Jiyong's sass.

I stopped pedalling as soon as the timer on the bike blinked 2:00:00. Good enough for today. I let myself bask in the showers a bit. Since there was no one else there, I had the massive marble marvel to myself. It wasn't particularly fancy, just big and echoey. It was fun to test the lower and upper ends of my vocal range, hearing it bounce back to me. Childish, but fun.

Standing in front of the elevator, I ignored the invitations to lunch to text the three boys. I decided to make sure everyone would be on the same page.

> _**To: Lyong Boho, Seungri, Daesung** _   
>  _**On my way up. Just need to change to something worth being seen in.** _
> 
> **From: Daesung**   
>  **I'm sure you look fine.**
> 
> **From: Seungri**   
>  **Finally! I'm starving!**
> 
> _**To: Lyong Boho, Seungri, Daesung** _   
>  _**I'm dressed like it's laundry day though...** _
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho**   
>  **Go to the lobby. I'll bring you a jacket that will make anything look good.**

The elevator dinged it's arrival. I stepped in and pressed the button for the lobby.

> _**To: Lyong Boho, Seungri, Daesung** _   
>  _**I think my shoulders are a bit wider than yours, Ji.** _
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho**   
>  **I'll grab one of Daesung's then.**

Fourth floor.

> **From: Daesung**   
>  **Yeah!**
> 
> **From: Daesung**   
>  **Wait, what?**

Third floor.

> **From: Seungri**   
>  **Jiyong says you're fat.**
> 
> **From: Daesung**   
>  **Rude. Luna's not fat at all.**

Second floor.

> **From: Seungri**   
>  **I meant you! Daesung!**
> 
> **From: Seungri**   
>  **Luna! Not you!**
> 
> **From: Seungri**   
>  **It was Daesung!**

Lobby.

I laughed as I exited the elevator. They reminded me of my friends at home. It was comforting to know they were at least somewhat normal.

> **From: Daesung**   
>  **I'm not fat either!**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho**   
>  **Guys, this isn't useful. Daesung, I've got one of your sweatshirts, where are you?**
> 
> **From: Daesung**   
>  **On my way down already.**
> 
> **From: Daesung**   
>  **And Seungri, how can I be fat if Luna isn't?**
> 
> **From: Seungri**   
>  **What?**
> 
> _**To: Lyong Boho, Seungri, Daesung** _   
>  _**If Daesung and I are the same size, wouldn't that mean that we are both fat?** _

"Yah! I'm not fat!"

I turned to see Daesung walking towards me.

"I didn't say you were. I'm just trying to help you trip up Seungri."

"Oh. Right. Cute shorts."

I looked down at my shorts, the mental reflexes born of having an elder sibling telling me that since he complimented them they must be awful.

"They're... basketball shorts," I looked back up at Daesung, "they make me look like a boy."

"A cute boy."

"Well, can't argue with that I guess."

We waited in a not entirely comfortable silence for the other two to show up.

* * *

We went to a restaurant in Samcheong-dong for lunch. I felt entirely underdressed next to the boys, but Daesung insisted that I looked "approachable" instead of lazy. Jiyong on the other hand...

"If nothing else, it makes a pretty good cover for us. Nobody would expect us to be out with someone dressed like that."

"I'm glad I can be your beard," I replied sourly.

"Beard?"

"Your cover. It's a... In the fifties if a gay man married a woman..." I shook my head, "it's not important, never mind."

"Alright... The first show airs tonight," Seungri spoke around a mouthful of food, "should we watch it together?"

"Sure, let's watch it in my room."

"I was kind of hoping not to watch it at all," I frowned at my bowl.

"Why not?"

"It's embarrassing. Being on TV? Ugh," I shook my head, still looking at my food, "no thanks."

"What's wrong with being on TV?"

"I've done nothing to deserve it. This is reality TV. There's no... merit."

"Sure there is," Daesung said, "you were chosen out of loads of applicants, right? There must be a reason."

"And after that norraebang... You should feature on my next album. Please?" Seungri made a show of pleading, even pulling out some aegyo to drive it home.

"Ai..." I pushed him away slightly, "stop trying to flatter me. Girls can tell when you don't mean it you know!"

"So you know I'm really interested then," Seungri laid his head on my shoulder. "Come on, you're very good. At least try it out."

"Wouldn't I have to sign some contract or something?" I bumped my shoulder up and down to dislodge him, "I'm not really interested in all that."

"Not necessarily," Jiyong started, "just a short term agreement should be fine. The same sort of thing we do for normal song features."

"You might even get to take home a larger percentage," Daesung put in, "since you don't have to pay out to a company."

I hid behind my hand, "I'm not really concerned with that sort of thing. I just don't want to get stuck in some contract or anything."

"Haven't you been working under contracts ever since you came here?"

"Yes, but those are only one year each," I shrugged, "I like my freedom."

"You have a pretty bleak view of entertainment companies."

"Well, sure, it worked out great for you guys. But you see other groups suing their companies and stuff," I paused for a moment. "I mean, Block B went off and basically founded a whole new company because of how they were treated, right?"

Jiyong's jaw tightened, but he didn't say anything.

"Ah, maybe we should talk about something else," Daesung suggested.

Seungri immediately launched into a discussion about an upcoming game between the Doosan Bears and the Samsung Lions. I mostly sat the topic out, not really knowing much about baseball.

* * *

When we were finished and leaving Jiyong tugged lightly on my jacket, subtly ushering me towards his car.

"Anything else planned for today?" Seungri was asking, squinting against the sun.

"Not really," Daesung scratched his head, "I might go down to Hongdae for a while. Are we watching the show later?"

"We can text. I'll ask Seunghyun and Youngbae what their plans are," Jiyong replied. "Luna, who do you want to ride with?"

I didn't really care, so I let Jiyong win.

"I'll go with you."

"Ah, Luna! After everything we've shared today?" Seungri overreacted, dramatically clutching his chest.

"Sorry, I just really like Jiyong's car."

* * *

"I need to stop by YG for a minute, okay?"

"Sure, no problem." I had nothing else planned today. Why should I care?

"You can come in and visit your fan club if you want," Jiyong smirked as he said it.

"My what?"

"Seunghyun told me that Jiwon somehow ended up hanging out with you. You must be a hit with the kids."

"I'm just a new face," I frowned. "They'll lose interest pretty fast."

"I haven't lost interest yet. Why should they?"

"It's kind of your job right now to not lose interest. It's different."

Jiyong grunted slightly, his hand landing on my knee and squeezing slightly before returning to the steering wheel.

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"You keep talking like you're here by mistake. The company chose you for a reason."

"The company chose me to make a point about race relations in South Korea. I'm not even a good choice for it."

“Why's that?”

“Because with the right eyeliner I could pass for maybe being kind of mixed.”

* * *

When we arrived, Jiyong spent what seemed like too much time at the front desk. I examined the posters and displays around the area as he spoke to the secretary. After a minute he grabbed my hand and pulled me down to the elevators.

"Where are we..."

"Last time you were left on your own you got lost for nearly an hour."

"Okay. That doesn't answer my question."

"Just come."

We lapsed into silence in the elevator. I turned to Chul.

"This is great TV, right?"

I heard Jiyong chuckle, Chul just smiled.

When the elevator doors opened, I realised we were near the dance practise rooms. Jiyong took my hand again, leading me down the hall. He stopped in front of a door and turned to me.

"Stay here, okay? I might be a while."

"What?"

Jiyong knocked on the door and started walking down the hallway. I called after him as the door swung open.

"Jiyong-ah! Ji!"

A foxish face poked out of the door and looked at me with some confusion.

"Noryangjin?!"

"Jiyong-ah! Aish that boy!"

Jiyong was out of sight now, having stepped back into the elevator. A warm hand took my wrist and pulled me into the room.

"Jiwon, you have a visitor. It's Noryangjin."

"Noona?" Jiwon stood up from his position on the floor and approached the fox boy and I. "What are you doing here?"

_"You know my name Bobby! Stop telling people I'm Noryangjin!"_

Jiwon laughed, clapping a hand on my back. I gave him a silent glare. Hanbin and Jinhwan approached.

"Hello again."

"Did you get lost again noona?"

"No. Jiyong dragged me down here. He said he had something to do."

Jiwon nodded thoughtfully, but Hanbin nudged him.

"What?"

Hanbin gestured at the others.

"Alright, fine. Luna-noona, this is Junhoe, Donghyuk, Yunghyeong, and I think you already met Chanwoo."

I made a slight bow towards each of them.

"So," Jiwon's arm was still clasped around my shoulder. He leaned into me slightly, "what brings you to visit noona?"

"Like I said," I shrugged him off, stepping to stand between Jinhwan and Hanbin, "Jiyong..."

"We're babysitting you?" Jinhwan asked.

"No," I turned my body towards Jinhwan a bit. It wasn't enough to really be considered flirtatious, but I remembered the text I had sent to Jiwon and felt like seeing if he'd make a note of it. "I think he just didn't want me to be left to get lost again."

"I see. I'll take care of you then." _Jesus Christ._ Jinhwan's smile could light up the fucking city.

Jiwon grabbed my wrist.

"Noona, I have an idea!"

* * *

Jiwon pulled me out to the hall, fishing in his pocket with the other hand. After he shut the door he had his phone to his ear.

"Come to our practise room... Just trust me... I know, but you'll want to be here... Yes... I said trust me... Hurry, before I change my mind."

He hung up his phone and shot me a smile. I fixed him with a suspicious look.

"What was that?"

"I'm just being a good friend," Jiwon shrugged.

"What?"

"I know you think Jinhwan's cute, _god knows why_ _,_ but I'm working in your favour."

I kept my face sceptical, but didn't argue with him. He kept his grip tight on my wrist until the elevator dinged it's arrival down the hall.

Mino stepped out of the elevator. I turned to Jiwon.

"Really?"

"He hasn't shut up all week."

"Aish."

Mino approached us.

"Noona? What are you doing here?"

"Jiyong wanted us to make sure she didn't get lost, but we really need to work on our choreography. Could you make sure she's okay?"

I stared at Jiwon. He wasn't exactly lying, that I knew of, but I still couldn't believe him.

"Ah, sure," Mino's face got slightly flushed, "if you don't mind, noona."

"It's fine with me. As long as I'm not being a problem."

"She's not a problem at all," Jiwon's arm was back on my shoulders, pushing me slightly towards Mino, "right hyung?"

"Of course not," Mino reached out, offering me a hand. I took it, trying to hide my smile.

"Alright."

* * *

"So have you thought about it?"

"What's that?" I was somewhat distracted, looking over the endless toggles in the small studio. It looked like a pilot's cockpit to me. Mino pulled my hand off the soundboard before I could mess up any of the controls.

"About giving me your number."

"I haven't really had much time to think of it."

"Well," he took my elbow and guided me to sit in one of the chairs, "think of it now." He took a seat next to me, pulling headphones on. "I promised Seungyoon I'd finish this up. You should have a good five minutes before you give me your number."

I leaned back and watched him work. I wasn't sure what he was doing, but his concentration was evident. After a few seconds I pulled my phone out to try to beat my 2048 high score.

I only noticed that Mino must have finished whatever it was he was doing when I felt his hand land on my knee.

"Huh?"

"I'm done."

It took me a second to remember why he was presenting this information as if it was important.

"Oh. Okay."

"So what did you decide?" Mino scooted his chair to face me more directly.

I bit my lip, pausing to consider if it had been long enough for me to not seem like a desperate fangirl. _I had refused the first request. That was good enough, right?_

"Give me your phone."

Mino handed it over. After I punched my number into his contacts I held the phone out to him. When he reached for it, I jerked my hand back a little.

"Do not give this to anyone else." I smirked, "I don't need another Jiwon."

Mino took my phone, looking like he wasn't sure if he had actually just gotten what he wanted. He shook his head slightly and looked up at me.

"You gave Jiwon your number?"

"No. He filched it from Jiyong's phone."

"But he's had it? For how long?"

"Just a couple days. But he's already gotten me in trouble by it."

Mino stood and offered me his hand. I let him help me up.

"You can tell me about it over lunch."

"I just finished breakfast with some of the boys not even an hour ago," I laughed.

"Well, I'm starving. So you can tell me about it while I eat. Come on."

* * *

Getting to the cafeteria went a lot smoother this time. I told Mino about getting lost, omitting Seunghyun's warning from the story.

"Seems like you're getting to know the family pretty well."

"I don't know if I'd say I'm getting to know them well at all. I think it's more like..." I bit my lip as I tried to think of how to phrase it. I trailed behind Mino as he got his food.

"They might recognise me, but only in context. If I'm in this building, or hanging out with the boys."

"Jiwon and I would recognise you in public. And maybe Hanbin."

"Hanbin? You think so?"

Mino nudged my arm, pouting a little.

"You don't have to sound so excited."

"I'm just surprised."

"Hanbin has learned to keep an eye on who his members are hanging out with. Over there," Mino indicated a table by a window.

* * *

"So," he pulled his chopsticks out, dramatically pointing them at me, "Jiwon."

"Yes. He told Jiyong that his phone was lost, and asked to borrow Jiyong's to call his. I guess he then stole my number from the phone."

"And he got you in trouble because of that? Try this," he held a piece of mushroom out towards me.

"I already ate."

"Just open up," he inched it closer to my mouth.

I rolled my eyes, but opened my mouth.

"It's good, right?"

I nodded and laughed.

"Okay, so Seunghyun doesn't like that I'm getting to know people."

"Choi or Lee?"

"Choi. I don't get it. He acts like it's dangerous for me to make friends."

"So what does that have to do with Jiwon?"

I explained about how Jiwon had tracked Soo-ah and I down. This time I included all of Seunghyun's lecturing. Mino nodded as he listened, occasionally offering me more bits from his plate.

We had moved on to small talk about the show when a body landed heavily in the seat next to me.

"You two make a great couple."

I looked up in shock. Broad face, wide eyes, an impossible to ignore mouth. He really did look somewhat similar to Zico, except for the nose.

"If that's true then you shouldn't be sitting next to her. What's up?"

"Did you finish that file yet?"

"Yeah, I emailed it to you. Noona."

I snapped my eyes back to Mino.

"It's rude to stare."

I scrambled to compose myself, but just ended up with my face in my hands.

"Ah, she's so cute," Seungyoon patted my shoulder. Probably an attempt to make me feel less awkward. That goal was so entirely not achieved. "Where'd you find her?"

"I'm sitting right here you know," I shot Seungyoon a frown.

"Here noona," Mino held out another bit of food to me. I automatically accepted it, making Seungyoon laugh.

"Better keep an eye on her hyung. You know Taehyun and Jinwoo like cute girls."

"They're not her type," Mino snapped, "right noona?"

I shrugged, stealing a sip from Mino's cup.

"I like her. You need someone that will make you uncomfortable."

"I don't really have a type," I interrupted after I put Mino's cup down. "But Jinwoo is seriously pretty."

"Pretty doesn't matter for guys. You need someone manly," Mino seemed ready to seriously debate this. _Why not?_

"How would you know what I need?"

"Wrong."

Mino and I both looked at Seungyoon. He swiped a bit of food from Mino's plate before continuing.

"Noona, you were supposed to ask 'someone manly like you?' Then Mino would say yes, and then you live happily ever after with our manly Mino."

I raised my eyebrows. My phone chimed.

"That sounds like fanfiction," I commented as I pulled my phone out.

"No, if it was fanfiction you would ask, and he'd say yes, and then he'd bring you back to the dance studio to... mmmph!"

"Yah!" Mino leaned across the table to press his hands over Seungyoon's mouth. I opted to just stare into my phone and ignore the struggle between the two boys.

> **From: Llyong Boho**   
>  **iKon is here and somehow you are not.**
> 
> **From: Llyong Boho**   
>  **I'm going to fix you with a tracking device.**
> 
> _**To: Llyong Boho** _   
>  _**Rude. I'm with 2/5 of Winner.** _
> 
> **From: Llyong Boho**   
>  **Don't worry. I'll make it look like jewellery.**
> 
> **From: Llyong Boho**   
>  **I can't leave you alone for even a minute. Where are you?**
> 
> _**To: Llyong Boho** _   
>  _**Cafeteria. Just follow the laughing and lecture.** _
> 
> **From: Llyong Boho**   
>  **Who's lecturing you now?**

I looked up at Mino whining at his laughing leader.

> _**To: Llyong Boho** _   
>  _**You have no faith in me. Just come here if you're so worried.** _
> 
> **From: Llyong Boho**   
>  **I feel like I should be running at this point. Always trouble.**

* * *

The two boys had calmed down by the time Jiyong arrived. I didn't notice his arrival until Mino dropped his chopsticks as he was about to give me another mushroom. Seungyoon and Mino both stood and bowed to Jiyong. As I was somewhat blocked in by Mino now, I opted for the head nod.

"Ah, I should have known you'd try stealing my date," Jiyong fixed Mino with a serious look.

"Date?" Mino's eyes widened, "I thought you were just working together."

"And she's my date to the release tonight." Jiyong was still wearing an annoyed expression. I had no idea if he was actually angry or not.

"Release?" Seungyoon stepped in, trying to dissipate some of the tension. "Where are you holding the release? I haven't heard anything about it."

"It's a private party. Luna?"

I stood and edged out of the seat to stand next to Jiyong. He placed an arm around my waist, steering me to be closer to him.

"We should get going."

I managed a quick bow to Seungyoon and Mino before I was directed out of the cafeteria.

"What was that?"

"Just hold on a minute."

He dropped his hands from me when we got out of the cafeteria. He bent nearly double as he burst out laughing. I just stared at him.

"Did you see Mino's face? Oh man," Jiyong dabbed at his eyes, "that was perfect."

* * *

I managed to convince Jiyong not to tell the others about Mino during the car ride. He didn't see the problem until I mentioned Seunghyun's name.

"And you say **I'm** the one that gets jealous."

"You do. But when you get jealous you seem to actually have a good reason, and you usually don't overreact."

"When have I **ever** overreacted?"

"About twenty minutes ago."

"With Mino? That... I wasn't even jealous of that. Why would I be?"

I stayed quiet, just watching him with an eyebrow raised. My phone chimed, but I ignored it for the moment.

"He's just a friendly guy. Friendly."

Jiyong jerked his head, as if he were trying to get rid of a fly.

"With his arm around you. Feeding you from his plate. Like a friend would do."

My phone chimed again.

"Yeah, you don't sound jealous at all," I pulled my phone out.

> **From: [unknown]**   
>  **Song Minho >3<**

My phone chimed a third time as I saved his number.

> **From: Hugeboy**   
>  **I didn't realise how close you and Jiyong-hyungnim are.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy**   
>  **If it's a problem, I can delete your number.**

"Is that Seungri?"

"Mino."

The response was automatic. Besides, Jiyong was supposedly not jealous, right?

Jiyong huffed a short "mm" in reply.

> _**To: Hugeboy** _   
>  _**It's fine. He was messing with you.** _

I locked my phone and looked up Jiyong. He was chewing on the inside of his lip.

"Relax. If nothing else, I know that I have an obligation to the show."

Jiyong released his lip but didn't look at me.

"So you won't encourage him?"

"Whatever that means. He's Song Minho, idol rapper. He'll get bored with a regular citizen like me soon enough."

"So... You won't encourage him?"

* * *

The cans and bottles of drinks in the cooler in front of me blurred into meaningless swathes of colour. I was annoyed. _How had I ended up having to go for snacks with Seunghyun?_

"Just choose something."

"You do it. I don't know what you guys like."

"Fine."

Seunghyun brushed past me, taking a few selections of citrusy sodas out of the cooler. Handing them off to me, he turned and disappeared somewhere in the tiny convenience store.

Not that I tried very hard to keep track of him. I waited at the front of the store after getting a bag of gummy rings. Seunghyun eventually came forward with two plastic bags in each hand.

"All set?"

He nodded, not stopping to wait for me as he pushed the door open.

"I don't see why I had to come."

"Because I said so."

I rolled my eyes and slid into the passenger seat. _Bossy._

* * *

I was glad to get to Jiyong's suite. Seunghyun was an ass, but he seemed better with the other boys around. _Maybe he just doesn't really feel comfortable around me. That can make people act weird, right?_

I settled myself between Daesung and Jiyong, preparing to mentally check out as much as possible.

Daesung nudged my ribs, holding a cup out to me. I gladly accepted it, happy for anything to distract me.

"Nervous?"

"Mentally prepping to be torn apart by netizens."

"The show has a lot of support from fans. Most of them want us to be happy."

I was unconvinced, but Jiyong draped an arm around my shoulder, squeezing me encouragingly. It worked. I relaxed a little, letting my head fall back onto his arm.

_He's good at this._ The thought floated through my mind, making me jerk my head up to watch Jiyong a little closer. He was listening to Taeyang talk about something. Was I being too lax?

Daesung nudged me again, raising an eyebrow at me. He leaned closer to me.

"He can get anyone to relax," his voice was low. Almost conspiratorial. "He's good at it. It's not weakness on your part."

I nodded, now wondering how Daesung had known what I was thinking. It was obvious he wasn't as arrogant as the others. Maybe he was acquainted with self-doubt well enough to read mine.

He smiled and leaned back, but not before giving my knee a slight squeeze.

I tried to write my nervousness off as being about the show. Remembering the cup, I lifted it and took a deep swallow. It turned out to be more soju than soda. I regretted the huge mouthful instantly, but swallowed it down without making a show of it.

Daesung's eyebrow was up again as Seungri reacted.

"Whoa! You need to go easy Luna. The show hasn't even started yet."

"Ah, so I still have time to try to black out first. Got it."

Daesung laughed, but Seungri just shook his head.

"This time Seungri and I will be helping you get to bed, huh?"

Jiyong's smile seemed a little... smug. Overly amused by his own comment.

"Unlike Seungri, I don't become a toddler when I drink," I pouted. "I may not always remember everything, but I always get home safe and alone."

Jiyong tugged me in by my shoulder, his voice a little quieter now.

"You don't have to go alone."

I hoped my face didn't betray the nature of what I had just heard. I stood up, needing a second alone.

"I'll be right back."

* * *

My reflection looked more relaxed than I felt. Jiyong was liable to give me whiplash at this rate. He was a perfect gentleman most of the time, but every once in a while he'd throw something out to trip me up. He hadn't really crossed any lines, yet, but it was like he was always testing boundaries. And Daesung's hand on my knee... _what was that? Was it anything?_

The chime of my phone shook me slightly out of my funk.

Maybe I was just being high strung. It was entirely possible that I was just reading too much into some friendliness.

As I passed by the kitchenette I was pulled into the small space. I found myself faced with Seungri.

"You don't have to stay and watch it if you don't want to."

"Ah... Alright..."

He realised that he was practically pinning me to the wall and let go, quickly stepping back.

"You, um, you looked uncomfortable is all. I thought I'd offer you a way out."

I smiled and gave him a hug. I could feel his back stiffen slightly under my hands.

"Thanks Seungri. But I should get used to it, right?"

His muscles relaxed slightly. He slowly raised his arms and returned the hug.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine. Don't..."

A throat was cleared loudly behind me.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," Jiyong started in a voice that indicated that he sincerely hoped he was interrupting, "but the show is about to start."

Seungri seemed a little abashed as he let go of me, but he left one arm around my waist. Jiyong made a face as he noted the way Seungri directed me back to the living room.

Daesung, Taeyang, and Seunghyun were all on the sofa. Jiyong sat with them, effectively filling it. Seungri and I were left to the smaller love-seat.

Remembering the earlier chime, I dug my phone from my pocket before sitting down next to Seungri.

> **From: Hugeboy**   
>  **Do you mind if I watch it?**

"Who's that?"

> _**To: Hugeboy** _   
>  _**Do what you like. As long as you promise not to make fun of me.** _

"Mino."

I mentally cursed myself as soon as the syllables left my mouth. Jiyong let out a short laugh. So much for the effort I had put into making him promise to keep quiet.

Seunghyun leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. He fixed me with what I'm sure was supposed to be an intense glare, but just came off as self-important.

"How did Mino get your number?"

Jiyong adjusted in his seat, smiling slightly, getting comfortable to watch whatever was about to happen.

"He asked for it," I tried to keep my voice casual, biting back the fact that it's not like I needed to explain myself to Seunghyun.

"What did I tell you about talking to them?"

"So you just gave it to him?"

I looked up at Seungri, surprised by how he sounded genuinely hurt.

"No, I told him I'd think about it. But he asked me again and I figured there wasn't any harm in him having it, especially since he was actually asking instead of doing what Jiwon did."

"What did Jiwon do?" Taeyang asking this time.

"He stole it from Jiyong's phone. Started texting me saying it was my new favourite dongsaeng."

"Aish! Those kids..."

"It might help if they actually knew why I was around. Half of them have no idea, and the other half think I'm working on some random feature with one of you guys."

"It doesn't matter," Seunghyun started, "they shouldn't..."

"Hush, it's starting," Daesung, ever to the rescue.

The intro was super cheesy, an announcer talking over music about the difficulty of finding love while being an idol. I had to give them some credit for actually mentioning sasaengs in the voiceover. I was sure they would try to gloss over things like that as much as possible.

Watching was just barely less painful than I had expected. There were little things that I hadn't even thought of being recorded. Like after the dinner where I had given them all my number they asked each boy what they had saved me as in their phone. Taeyang gave Seungri some shit for having included a green heart emoji next to my name in his phone. I couldn't help but smile at Daesung's name though.

"Sailor Moon? Really?"

"Am I wrong?"

"It's cute. I'm not sure it fits me at all."

There were some parts that I couldn't tell if they were real or from editing. Like a spot during the norraebang outing that made it seem like Seunghyun was upset over how close Jiyong and I had been getting over the song selection. Then again, the man was perpetually scowling, so it could have been editing, reality, or just how his face was.

There were other things that were edited to make us look better. According to the show none of the boys had ever seen the inside of my suite. They'd always cut it to seem like the goodbye at the door was the last thing, and that it was right when they walked me to the door. I raised an eyebrow at Jiyong when it cut his visits into a quick montage. It made it seem like he was constantly walking me up to my room (which, to be fair, he was) and then being the perfect gentleman. They made him look like the flower boy prince from any fan's favourite drama.

The also cut me and Jiyong helping Seungri get into bed.

They did not, for some reason, cut me getting lost in the YG building.

"Aish! Seriously? That makes me look like an idiot!"

"It's cute," Seungri pulled me closer to him. "It will make guys want to take care of you."

"I don't need..."

"Guys to take care of you. We know," Daesung cut in.

The hiking trip was probably the highlight of the episode for me. It was more along the lines of variety shows that I had seen before, so it was a little easier to process. I was a little surprised that they left in the tattoo talk, but Jiyong pointed out that a few of them had tattoos too, so it wasn't really that big of a deal.

* * *

The only part that I couldn't bear to watch was the norraebang. They didn't broadcast the Beyoncé song, but they showed my Alicia Keys attempt, and my drunk rendition of Led Zeppelin. I stood up and pretended that there was suddenly something very important that I had to do in the kitchen. I passed the kitchen though, trying to find a place far enough away that I wouldn't have to hear my own voice. I ended up at the end of the hallway, keeping my attention on my phone.

"Yah."

Jiyong had nearly whispered it, but I still jumped. Jiyong laughed and offered a hand to steady me.

"Sorry, sorry. Why are you hiding?"

"Because," I shrugged and crossed my arms, "I hate the sound of my own voice sometimes."

"You were good though," Jiyong leaned against the wall next to me. "You've got a pretty wide range, and you're steady."

"Still... I'm not interested in listening to myself."

"That's bad news."

I looked at Jiyong through my hair. A smile crept up his face.

"I didn't take you for being selfish."

I dropped my arms and pushed off the wall, turning to face him.

"What? How is that selfish?"

"To have a voice like that and not share it?"

He pushed himself off the wall, following through to trap me against the opposite one. Brushing my hair from my face, he leaned in to speak directly into my ear.

"That's selfish," I shivered as his voice sent a warm breath across my skin. I was sure he felt it and smiled even wider. "As much as I'd love to continue this conversation, we should go back in."

He quickly stepped back, putting a hand on my elbow to pull me back to the living room. I was almost entirely disoriented for a second, still somewhat frozen.

"What took so..." Seungri's face turned from laughter to suspicious. "Why are you blushing so much?"

"She was embarrassed by the norraebang. Cute, right?"

Jiyong subtly pushed me in Seungri's direction as he spoke. Seungri's face softened up immediately. He held a hand up towards me, beckoning me into the seat with him.

"Ah, really? Luna you were great though!"

I slid into the chair and Seungri was instantly wrapping his arms around me.

"You sounded really good!" He kept shouting, I glanced at the soju bottle that had been close to him. It was nearly empty.

"Right guys? She was good!"

It took a while to get him to chill, and by that point the show was ending. There were shots of Seungri and I interacting playing under the announcer wondering how the first solo week would go.

As the show came to an official close I stood and stretched. Jiyong stood up as well, pulling folded pieces of paper from his pocket.

"Alright, here's yours... Daesung... Hyung... Luna... I guess I'll hold onto Seungri's for now. He should know his by now anyway."

"What is it?"

"Schedules."

I groaned and unfolded mine. My next morning looked pretty empty, save for an interview in the morning. That made me feel a little better, but then I looked at the rest of the week.

"This is useless."

"Blame Seungri."

“Yah, kid, you could at least tell me how I should dress for these mystery blocks.”

Seungri looked up at me from his position, now hanging off the edge of the seat upside down, and smiled.

“Wear anything, you're pretty in whatever.”

“Oh my god,” I shook my head, “I have to spend all week with this cheese puff?”


	8. Seungri, Monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Production crew takes some matters into their own hands. Talking heads sections are a thing. Seungri tries to prove that he is #boyfriendgoals. Mino is not slick.

I woke up to my phone ringing. Chul informed me that they wanted to do a morning interview with me.

“Alright, uh, I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes I guess.”

I showered as fast as I could, and skipped most of my makeup. Twenty minutes after I had hung up with Chul, there was a knock on my door. Chul and a woman who I had seen around, but never actually talked to, walked in and started setting up equipment in the living room area.

In my interview I was asked if I thought I had a preference for anyone.

“They’ve all been polite and nice to me, in their own ways. Seungri and Daesung have been the most like friends. Jiyong really has been like a guide. Taeyang is just so introverted, it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking. I think he doesn’t like the idea of the show.”

“What about T.O.P?”

“I don’t think he likes me,” I laughed nervously, “he’s so serious all the time.”

“What do you think your time with Seungri will be like?”

“I’m not sure what to expect. He’s very energetic. I hope I can keep up with whatever he has planned.”

“Now, what about the people not involved in the show? Do you think that getting to know the boys from iKon and Winner will interfere?”

“I don’t see why it would. They know the Big Bang boys better than I do, so getting to know them might actually help. They might offer some insight that I wouldn’t get otherwise.”

After the interview the young woman took some of the equipment and left. Chul had apparently become my assigned production guy.

“Let’s get you changed.”

I looked down at my outfit. Jeans, t-shirt… nothing fancy, but it wasn’t bad.

“Why?”

“Because, the fans are only kind of okay with this show anyway. You gotta at least appear to be trying to impress the boys to keep them happy.”

“The boys keep saying that the fans are in favour of the show.”

“The boys,” Chul directed me towards my room, “are polite, and kept somewhat in the dark. Come on.”

* * *

After Chul and I had gone through some clothes and selected something that he judged to be cute, but not overboard, we headed to a cafe close to the hotel for breakfast. This would be my first official solo meal with Seungri. When I got there he was already there. He stood up when I went in and offered me a seat.

“How was your interview? Not too hard?” He asked as we sat.

“Yes. They only asked a few questions.”

“Like what?”

“Are we supposed to talk about that?” I narrowed my eyes.

“Probably not,” he shrugged.

I laughed at that.

“They just wanted to know first impressions and what I expected from this week.”

Seungri leaned forward, looking eager.

“What do you expect?”

“I’m not sure. Do you plan it? The producers? Should I give ideas?”

“I came up with ideas, and the producers did too. I think it’s on me to come up with everything.”

“Aigo!” I slumped forward slightly, “there’s so much I still don’t know about this.”

Seungri shrugged.

“I only know anything because Jiyong told me.”

We picked at our food for a while. I finally piped up again.

“So… What now? This is like a week long blind date. How awkward.”

“Please don’t feel awkward with me,” Seungri started. “I know I’ve said this before, but just act as if I am an old friend you haven’t seen for a long time.”

“Are you hoping I’ll be as physical as I am with my American friends?” I teased him.

For once, he gave exactly the response I expected.

“I just want you to be comfortable with me.”

* * *

After eating, Seungri and I went to walk around Songpa-gu.

“So what do you do for work here?”

“You were at the interview Seungri. I’m an English teacher. Such a stereotype, right?”

“A little bit. So what are some big differences between here and America?”

“Aigo… Hmm… Social boundaries, obviously.”

He laughed with me at that.

“I hope you all don’t think badly of me for how I have been. No matter how long I’m here the skinship barrier between genders is hard to get used to.”

“Really? Is that why you’re not surprised when someone touches you? Like holding hands?”

“Eh, holding hands is mostly for couples, even in America.”

“What else?”

“It was very strange to come here and lose all that contact. It’s a little hard at times. It makes it hard to tell if friendships are very close or not, even after dropping honourifics.”

“Well, you don’t have to keep using honourifics with me.”

“Are you sure? Isn’t it a bit early for that?”

“We’re supposed to get to know each other and become close, right? We’re the same age anyway. Besides, you’ve already dropped them with Jiyong.”

“Yes. If you are certain that you’re okay with it, I will speak comfortably.”

“Good. What else is different?”

“Aigo, I feel like I’m talking so much!”

“I’m curious.”

“Well, with touching there’s one more thing. It’s very common to make some contact during conversations and hanging out. Arms around shoulders, hands on shoulders, that sort of thing. I guess, if you would do it with your hyungs, I would probably do it with me friends.”

“We used to sometimes shower together.”

I laughed loudly.

“Maybe not that. I shouldn’t talk about touching so much. It’s kind of inappropriate, isn’t it?”

“I asked.”

“True. What else is different?… Bars!”

“Bars?”

“I can’t go to a bar by myself here. At home I might go alone and just meet friends there. I could go alone and start conversations with people already there. Here it’s always in a group, and you stay in your group, and you don’t meet new people.”

“So people are more… Friendly in America?”

“Maybe. It’s more like… We don’t mind strangers so much. In some places anyway.”

“We must seem very unfriendly then.”

“Not really. It’s just… Different styles of friendliness.”

We walked in silence for a while.

“What about you?” I asked. “Did you have an interview this morning?”

“I did mine last night. They asked what my first impression was of you, who I thought you would get along with the best, what I was going to do to make myself stand out.”

“Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t ask what your answers were then.”

“I said that I thought you were in a tough spot. You seemed unsure of yourself. They asked about the skinship so far, and I told them that I wasn’t sure about it. They also asked if I thought you had a bias.”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I don’t know any of you well enough to have a strong bias.”

“So you have a small bias towards someone?” He leaned towards me, slightly wriggling his shoulders and eyebrows.

“You each have your good qualities that I saw so far,” I laughed at his antics.

“Mine is my good looks, right? Jiyong has his money and manners. Seunghyun is the sexy man of the group of course. Taeyang and Daesung though? Zero qualities.”

“Yours is good humour. I also appreciate how much you try to make sure that I’m comfortable.”

“Was I right about the rest?”

“Well… Jiyong does seem nice, but a little… Not quite detached… it’s as if he’s constantly calculating his next move,“ I paused, thinking over the last week. “He worries what other people think too. Like when we met Mino, he lied to him about why we were hanging out because he didn’t want Mino to think I was only there out of obligation. He has very pretty eyes though.”

“You like flower boys then?”

“Is he a flower boy? Maybe he is.”

“I can be a flower boy.” Seungri started doing aegyo faces.

“Aish, I try not to focus on appearance so much. What good is a handsome man if he isn’t a good man?”

“I guess you’re right,” Seungri shrugged. “Gosh, such a wise noona!”

“Noona? I’m only a few months older than you. How old do I look? I must need better moisturiser!”

“But you’re early in the year, so technically…” He trailed off, grinning as I pouted at him. “You’re avoiding talking about the others! You must have a bias for one of them! Seunghyun? Youngbae?”

“Aigoo…” I shook my head, “Seunghyun may look well, but his attractive trait to me is his voice. Deep, calm, confident. It’s a good voice.”

“So you like manly men?” He straightened his back and puffed up his chest slightly, giving me a serious look, “I can be manly.”

“Eh, maybe,” I had to pause to laugh at his strutting a bit. “But I said before, he seems… There’s anger in him and what good is that in a man? Anger can make someone cruel. I would not like to date another cruel man in my lifetime again.”

Seungri squinted slightly, dropping his posturing and nudging me slightly.

“He isn’t cruel. He is just separate. None of us would be cruel.”

“Well,” I shrugged, “I don’t know. Cruel men often don’t seem that way to their friends. No one would believe me when my ex…” I caught myself.  _I’ve known this boy for a week. Definitely not the time to be talking about that sort of thing._  I shot him a nervous smile, but he didn’t seem to buy it.

“Aigo… such serious talk.” I paused again, “I’m sorry that I mentioned it.”

“It’s fine,” he nudged me again. “You mentioning it must mean you’re comfortable with me.”

“Maybe. You have good humour, and you seem pretty kind. It’s easy to be around you,” I smiled at him. “Maybe a little impatient though.”

“Yes!” Seungri laughed, “very impatient! What about the others?”

“Relax,” I paused to look out over the river before continuing, “why should we talk about them so much? Did they ask you what I think? Are you worried that I like one of them?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe what? Which one?”

“Just,” he thrust his hands in his pockets, “maybe.”

“Ah,” I shook at finger at him playfully, “now you’re being secretive. Not a good trait.”

“I can’t just tell you everything in my mind. I should be a little mysterious, shouldn’t I?”

“Maybe,” I looked him over for a second, “you can keep your secrets.”

Seungri turned to look at me, a slight smile on his face.

“What about yours?”

“I don’t have secrets,” I dismissed him, “I’m boring.”

* * *

We eventually ended up back at the hotel. I went to my room and did some reading to relax and try to brush up on marketing strategies. At around six I went to a group meal. Everyone asked me what Seungri and I had done and talked about. Some of them seemed intent on teasing.

“How was your date this morning?” Jiyong nudged me playfully.

“Was that a date?” I cocked my head at Seungri, “just walking around?”

“Of course it was a date!” Daesung sounded exasperated with my playing dumb.

“Well,” I reached for a chunk of tofu from the jjigae, “if that’s considered a date, I should tell some of my friends that I’m not interested in them then.”

That elicited a laugh from the three boys that I was beginning to really see as friends. Then Taeyang spoke up.

“Do you go on many dates then?”

“Not really. None, in fact. I’m a westerner.”

I was met with expressions ranging from curiosity to complete blankness. Daesung signalled for me to elaborate.

“You know... most men seem to either have no interest or,” I shifted in my seat a little, “well, the wrong interest.”

“Seungri probably has the wrong interest.”

“I do not!” Seungri pushed Daesung, “Luna, I don’t.”

“Ah,” Jiyong jeered, “so he has no interest!”

“Hyung!”

“What about foreign men?” Taeyang asked. “There are some around.”

“True, but they all seem to prefer…” I was trying to be diplomatic, “more lady-like women. I can’t blame them. I’m not exactly…” I trailed off, trying to come up with a suitable adjective.

Seungri came to the rescue, “you look fine to me.”

“Aigo. The producers helped,” I gestured towards Chul, “I would have showed up in jeans and a t-shirt if not for them. I felt like a child, being told what to wear.”

“Just hang out with me,” Jiyong patted me on the back, “I’ll show you how to be stylish AND comfortable.”

“You wait your turn hyung!” Seungri whined.

“There’s no rules against group outings, is there? Just invite me to go shopping with you two.”

“Hyung…”

“What?” Seunghyun finally spoke up, “are you afraid she’ll like his gifts?”

“Gifts?” My eyes widened. I shook my head, “you don’t have to… that’s…”

“If we’re supposed be wooing you,” Jiyong shot a wink at me, “why wouldn’t we buy gifts?”

“It’s only for a little while. There’s no reason to…”

Seungri nudged me slightly, “we want to.”

“The real problem, according to Jiyong, is the tattoos,” Seunghyun stated matter-of-factly.

“That’s no problem for me,” Jiyong shrugged, “I can show you style, comfort, AND keep you covered.”

“I… well…” I felt fidgety, but was beginning to realise there probably wasn’t a good way out of this, “thank you.”

“Now then,” Daesung took over the conversation, “when you are going to start talking comfortably with all of us instead of just Jiyong and Seungri?”

“Ah, well, Seungri and I are the same age, and Jiyong said…”

“So you’re comfortable with Seungri and Jiyong?”

I looked up at Seunghyun. His expression was difficult to decipher.

“Ah, maybe enough,” I turned towards Jiyong slightly, “maybe I should use formal speech in the group though,” I turned back to face the entire group, “if that makes things more comfortable.”

“No,” Seungri immediately said.

Jiyong picked up Seungri’s thought, “it’s fine. We gave you permission.”

I paused for a minute to think if that was actually true. I had talked to Seungri, but had Jiyong and I actually had that conversation? I couldn’t remember. It seemed as if we had just naturally dropped formalities.

Seunghyun cleared his throat. “maybe she should. At least until she gets to know all of us.”

“She uses formal with you and the others,” Seungri whined, “why should you care how she speaks to me?”

Seunghyun didn’t respond, but gave Seungri a sour look. Jiyong leaned in closer to me to whisper.

“He’s really making a big deal. I wonder why that is.”

I didn’t look to check, but I could practically feel the shitty smile on Jiyong’s face. Daesung,  _precious Daesung,_ took it on himself to try to diffuse the situation.

“Hey, guys, relax. Look how uncomfortable she is.”

“Yes,” Taeyang agreed, “just let Seungri have his way hyungnim.”

It was my turn to lean over to Jiyong now.

“Hyungnim? Why so formal?”

“He is appealing to him. What’s the English phrase?  _Buttering him up_?”

I burst out laughing.

“Got it.”

Seungri put a hand on my shoulder, tugging slightly to get my attention.

“What?”

“Ah, nothing, nothing.”

“I guess my English accent isn’t good,” Jiyong said. He seemed okay with it, not at all offended by laughter.

“No, no,” I brushed my hair back from my face, “your accent was fine. I just…”

“Stop it,” Jiyong nudges me,” you’re just being nice.”

“Yah,” Saesung interrupted, “what did you say?”

“It was nothing.”

His voice left little room for comment. It drew some funny looks from the members, but Daesung just took the cue to change the subject.

“Seungri, what did you plan tonight for Luna?”

“Huh?” I looked up from my bowl, “tonight?”

“Yes,” Daesung said like it was obvious, “a real date, right Seungri?”

Seungri looked a little put on the spot. He evidently wasn’t keen on discussing it in front of the elder members.

“I was going to tell you after the meal.” He turned to Daesung to whine, “why should I ruin the surprise?”

“Surprise? Oh gosh,”  _colour me officially worried,_  “do the producers know? I need to be a little prepared.” I couldn’t help the pout that formed across my lips.

“Don’t worry,” Seungri smiled at me, “all you need to do is show up.”

After the meal, Seunghyun pulled Seungri aside and Jiyong followed them.

“Jiyong must be mediating.”

I tilted my head at Daesung.

“Why?”

“Cheongdenmal vs penmal.”

“Ugh. I should just be formal, save them the argument.”

“Why? They love arguing. It makes them close,” Taeyang pulled his jacket on, “like real brothers.”

“And don’t let Seunghyun boss you around,” Daesung interjected, “he’s probably just jealous of you getting so close so quickly.”

“What? Why?” That was ridiculous.

“He’s very protective of our precious maknae.”

“Oh. Well, I’m not a threat to Seungri. We just…” I paused, clicking my tongue as I thought of how to express it. “I accidentally said more than I should have today.”

Daesung’s eyes lit up.

“Really? Confessed feelings so soon?”

“Oh my god, no! He was asking what sort of men I prefer. I let my guard down and said more than I meant to.”

Taeyang looked like he wanted to say something but at that point Jiyong, Seunghyun, and Seungri, came back, so we all said goodbye and went our separate ways.

* * *

Seungri escorted me up to my room, but it was only so we could solidify some of our plans for the evening. He bounced on the heels of his feet in my little kitchen as we talked.

“You seem to value downtime, so I was thinking that maybe we could just meet up again in…” he checked his watch, “four or five hours?”

I checked my phone, raising an eyebrow slightly.

“That’s a bit of a late start, isn’t it?”

“Not really,” he shrugged, “dinner and then a surprise. It’s a perfect starting time.”

I was sceptical, but he insisted that he had planned some perfect casual late night date. He kept putting a lot of emphasis on the “casual” part. I didn’t really have any other option than to agree. Seungri was all smiles when he left the suite.

* * *

I certainly had time to kill. I decided to take a rest from the gym, instead opting to pull out my sketchbook and laptop. I set myself up in front of the window, queueing up Futurama episodes that I knew by heart by now. I was well into a cityscape sketch, and My Three Suns, when my phone went off. I wasn’t sure how to feel when I saw who had messaged me, and even less sure when I read the text.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I need your email.**

I knit my brows, wondering how smart sharing my email with him might be. Yes, he seemed okay, but… well I guess Seunghyun’s warnings had been successful enough to plant a seed of concern.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  I doubt that???** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I really need it!**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Why?** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I might have gotten you something, and I need to send it to you.**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  That only almost makes sense.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Either email or I’ll just show you next time I see you at YG.**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Sounds good to me.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I’d prefer not to do that.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I think you’d prefer it through email too.**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  What do you mean?** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  It’s… time sensitive. In a way.**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Well I don’t know when that’s going to happen next. The show is kind of… picking up.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I saw. Just come in on an off day.**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  I’m not sure how many of those I’ll be getting.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Then give me your email!**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Fine… But it doesn’t go any further, alright?** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Why would I give it to anyone else?**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  I don’t know.** _
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Privacy is important to me.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I won’t give it to anyone.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Promise.**

I sent him my email address and decided to finally check my messages from Soo-ah. The notification had been there since some time last night, but I hadn’t really felt up to handling it until now.

> **From: Sooooo AH  
>  I officially do not know you any more. So embarrassing.**

About as expected, I guess.

> _**To: Sooooo AH  
>  I’m doing the best I can.** _
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH  
>  Do better! Dress cuter! Fighting!**
> 
> _**To: Sooooo AH  
>  Right… How is Ttungbo doing?** _
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH  
>  I think he’s getting used to having me around.**
> 
> _**To: Sooooo AH  
>  Aww… I miss him :(** _

The rest of my conversation with Soo-ah was spent with me trying to avoid talking about the show, and whining about missing Ttungbo. It eventually petered out, letting me get back to drawing. For a little while anyway.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Did you get the email?**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Let me check.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  !!!**

I minimised Futurama and checked my email account. There was an email from an unrecognised addressed with an attachment.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Is it from [————-]?** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Yes! Open it!**

I considered his apparent eagerness. It was flattering, and exciting. No, it was actually downright exhilarating and terrifying once I thought about it for a second. Something between a dream come true and a nightmare, really. The memory of being in Jiyong’s car interrupted my brain’s anxiety cycle.

> “You won’t encourage him, right?”

And then there was what Seunghyun had said.

> “They’ll expect you to be compliant.”

Biting my tongue, I closed my browser.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  I kind of have to get ready for tonight.** _
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  I’ll check it out later.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  You’re killing me!**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  This is my first date in years. I need to remind myself how to get ready.** _

I headed towards my bedroom, thinking of what would be comfortable to wear and make Soo-ah not have an aneurysm. Casual… _what does casual even mean to idols?_ Mino kept the conversation going.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Get ready? Like on your own?**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  You did watch the show right?** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Yes. I just… Doesn’t the production crew take care of that stuff?**

Pushing through my closet, I laughed aloud. _What did he think this was?_ I pulled out some pants and a long skirt, tossing them onto the bed for consideration before texting him back.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Sometimes.** _
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  The production crew, or even one of the guys, will help me out. But I’m left to my own devices mostly.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Really? What’s the date?**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  I don’t know. Something casual, according to Seungri.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Doesn’t the script say?**

I rummaged through some shirts, trying to find something not too masculine.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  You mean the schedule?** _
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  All that does is tell me when I need to be available for filming.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  So this is a real reality show.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  You’re supposed to really fall for one of them.**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  I guess. We’ll see what happens.** _

There wasn’t a response for a while. I was fully dressed and halfway through my makeup when my phone went off again.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  You should probably wear jeans. Just in case.**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  In case of what?** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Just in case. You know.**

I rolled my eyes. _Just one person that spoke in a straightforward manner, that’s all I ask._

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  If I knew, I wouldn’t ask. But I did opt for jeans, since I don’t what he’s planning. Can’t go rock climbing in a skirt.** _
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Though I don’t expect we’d be rock climbing this late.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Right. I was talking about the chance of rock climbing.**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Well, I’m way ahead of you. No worries.** _
> 
> _**To Hugeboy:  
>  I’ll check the email later. I have to go now.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Bye.**

* * *

I still had an hour and a half before Seungri and I had planned to leave. Bored, I made my way down to the next floor down, only realising when I got there that I didn’t remember what Seungri’s suite number was.

> _**To: Seungri  
>  What’s your suite number?** _
> 
> **From: Seungri  
>  1630\. Are you coming here?**
> 
> _**To: Seungri  
>  I was going to surprise you, but then forgot which room it was.** _
> 
> **From: Seungri  
>  I’ll get my shoes on.**

Trailing down the hall, I wondered how close the rooms of the others were to each other. Seunghyun’s was in the opposite direction from the elevators as Seungri’s and Jiyong’s. I would have thought that they would be grouped closer together.

The door to Seungri’s suite opened before my second knock could even land.

“Hi,” he had his phone in his hand, sending a message to someone, “let’s head down.”

He seemed to be in a rush to go, so I didn’t argue. Maybe his suite was a mess.

The sound of his fingers drumming into the railing inside the elevator was beginning to drive me insane. I reached out to still his fingers with my own. His head shot in my direction.

“What are…”

“You’re nervous. It’s making me nervous.”

“Oh, ha, yeah,” he shoved both of his hands in his pockets, “I just hope you like it.”

“Unless it’s a tour of the national… I don’t know… spider habitat or something, I think it will be fine.”

“Ah,” he faked a worried look, pulling his phone out, “I need to find something different for Thursday then.”

We rode the elevator in silence for the rest of the way. I was comfortable with it, but Seungri seemed fidgety.

When we exited the building, one of the company cars was waiting for us. I nudged Seungri playfully.

“Not going to try to impress me with your car?”

Seungri seemed a bit shy as he opened the car door, standing aside to hold it open for me.

“This is, uh, easier for the production crew.”

It was cute how nervous Seungri was. After he gave an address to the driver, we rode side by side in the back seat. I could feel the vibration of some nervous tic of his through the seat. The feeling in the car was like riding in the back of my ex’s best friend’s car to prom again. I struggled to suppress a giggle at the awkward memory.

“What?”

“Nothing,” I shook my head, “I just feel so… young. Nerves and excitement.”

“Why are you nervous?!” Seungri sounded incredulous, and his face looked almost offended. “You’re fine, you’re doing fine. You showed up. That’s all I could ask for, really.”

* * *

The restaurant that Seungri had opted for was an Italian style place. These sort of places were always a bit of an treat for me. It wasn’t an expensive place or anything, I just liked seeing the changes made so that the dishes would be more suited to the Korean palate. I figured this particular place must have been popular with ex-pats, since the changes were few and far between.

The conversation was… typical. It was no surprise in a way. I was thankful that they had arranged the weeks the way that they had. It was merely a happy coincidence, but starting with Seungri was probably the best thing that could have happened, besides maybe starting with Jiyong. Actually, no, it was the best way to start. I may have built a better rapport with Jiyong, but he made me a little too nervous still. Seungri was by far the most comfortable person to start with. He was naturally personable, and once he had heard out my concerns about the effect that fame and wealth could have on someone (a conversation that was notably cut from the airing of the first episode), he had the mindfulness to take those concerns into consideration.

“What are you doing?”

“Huh?”

“You were staring at me. Am I that boring?” Seungri leaned in towards me, smiling cheesily, “or am I that handsome?”

“Sorry,” I laughed, hurriedly taking an interest in my food, “I was just…”

“Thinking,” Seungri nodded, “I’ve noticed you do that a lot.”

A short walk after dinner, and Seungri directed me towards a large, dome-shaped, building. Giving up any pretence of being cool, I turned to him excitedly.

“A planetarium? Are we going to the planetarium?”

Seungri smiled and took one of my hands, pulling me towards the entrance. For the first time that night, his voice seemed entirely confident, “your name is Luna, right?”

* * *

The show that night was about the formation of nebulae and how they differed from galaxies. It was a little hard to follow, not so much because of the topic matter, but because I had never heard the majority of the important terms in Korean before. It went on until midnight, luckily with an intermission. I was able to get some caffeine at that point. After the show ended, Seungri suggested going to a nearby late-night cafe.

“Sure. I’m still wired from that tea earlier anyway.”

“Let’s get more, with coffee!”

“Eh,” I shrugged, “I’m not really a fan of coffee. Too bitter. And by the time it has enough cream and sugar to cover the taste, it might as well be ice cream.”

“Then let’s get ice cream.”

I shook my head, “it’s fine. If you want coffee, let’s go to the cafe.” I nudged him with my shoulder, “I’ll just get something else.”

* * *

We soon arrived at a small cafe. Seungri insisted on paying for our drinks, shooing me away to find a table. I selected a small one, tucked away from the door. Settling into the seat, I pulled out my phone, turning it back on as I waited for Seungri. It immediately started chiming.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  So how was the date?**

I checked the timestamp on the message. It had arrived nearly an hour earlier.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Tiresome? Asleep already?**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ㅎㅈㅎ?**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Sleep well then.**

I chuckled at the messages. Cute.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Sorry. Had to turn my phone off. Still out.** _
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  I think it’s going well though.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Kind of late for a Monday night…**

I was going to respond, but Seungri was walking towards me with two cups. I tucked my phone back into my pocket.

“Here you go,” he handed me a green tea latte and sat down opposite me.

“Thanks,” I took the cup and held it in front of my face. The steam was fragrant and felt nice against my skin.

“Cute,” I looked up to see Seungri watching me. He smiled, quickly taking a sip of his coffee, burning his tongue in the process. I resisted laughing at him. After a second he tried to strike conversation again.

“Did you like the show?”

“Yes! I loved it. When I was a six years old I wanted to be an Astro-physicist.”

“You knew about Astro-physics when you were six?”

“Well, no. I knew about astronomy, and I knew I wanted to figure why it worked that way. I didn’t know the term, but it was still one of the things I dreamed of.”

“Aish…” Seungri leaned back in his seat, a look of playful annoyance curling his lip upwards, “I don’t know if things will work between us.”

“Really?” I could sense a joke coming, so I just leaned forward, resting my chin on my hand to wait for it.

“Yes. If you’re this pretty, and this smart, well,” he shrugged as if giving up, “there’s nothing for me to add to the relationship.”

“Ah,” I put on a sympathetic look and voice, “I’m sure you’ve got something to add.”

“Hmm… I guess I’m pretty rich. That’s good right? I get a trophy wife,” a grin started creeping across his lips, “you get a man willing to pay for everything.”

“Aigo. I’d be offended if I didn’t know you were joking around.”

Seungri laughed. It was vibrant, sincere.

“I’m glad you liked the planetarium. The idea was entirely mine.”

“Ah,” I raised my eyebrow as I took a sip of the tea, “I thought so.”

“Why’s that?”

“Easy,” I set my cup down and fixed him with a semi-scolding look. I started lifting fingers as I spoke, “the seats recline, so we were basically laying down next to each other. Except for the ceiling, the entire place is dark. And the show ended late enough that options for activities were limited, but early enough that we’d both still have energy to burn off.”

Seungri stared at me, his jaw slack. I reached across the table to take his nearly spilling coffee out of his hand.

“Well?”

“I… I… I wasn’t doing… I just thought… I didn’t… Didn’t think of it like that. It’s not…”

I put my hand on his arm, shaking him slightly.

“Yah, pabo, I’m teasing you.”

“Aish,” he crossed his arms, pouting, “so mean.”

“Sorry. You probably get enough teasing from your hyungs.”

“Yes. They’re relentless. Devils!”

“Ah,” I clicked my tongue, “they can’t be so bad. That’s just what friends do.”

“Yah, I’m trying to use date tactics here. Don’t be so rational about it.”

“Ah, sorry, sorry,” I nodded, “I should have said ‘ah, you poor boy’ instead.”

“Yes. Then I’d say that it was especially Seunghyun. Then I’d talk about how he’s always doing little pranks on me.”

“So much about Seunghyun? Is he your rival or something?”

“Only this time.”

“This time?”

“Ah, so many questions. How is your tea?”

“Ah, so many secrets. It’s good. But it’s kind of late. Is caffeine really a good idea?”

“Should we get some soju instead?”

“First a dark room,” I shook my head judgingly, “now alcohol. What are you thinking?”

“Yah! Luna, I’m a good guy!”

* * *

We didn’t go for drinks. Instead we just walked around a little bit. It was nearly two in the morning by the time we got back to the hotel. Seungri saw me to my door, getting hit by his nerves again when we got to it.

“Ah, so, uh…”

I just looked at him, waiting for him to piece together a sentence.

“So, so, ah, am I… Should I kiss you now?”

“On the first date?”

“Second, technically.”

“Hmm… Still seems early. I’ve only known you for a week.”

“Ah, that’s right. Then what should I do?”

I leaned forward and hugged him.

“How about this?”

“This is,” he seemed a little surprised, “this is good.”

Laying on my bed, I checked my messages. There was just one worth responding to, as it had been sent just two minutes after Seungri had left.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  Did he kiss you?**
> 
> _**To: Lyong Boho  
>  No.** _
> 
> _**To: Lyong Boho  
>  Proper gentleman.** _
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  Good.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  Sleep well.**


	9. Seungri, Tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyang says some shit, and then apologises. Luna takes some time to do her own thing and gets recognised in public. Mino takes an opportunity. Jiyong's leader instincts compound with jealousy. Seungri tries to be average. Luna gets fed up with condescension, and Mino tries to mitigate her anger.

I was woken up at 8:30am. _Ungodly_. I had a pretty uneventful meal with Seungri. He explained that he had some work to do today, so we went our separate ways. I mentally upgraded the early wake up from ungodly to downright cruel as I got ready for my interview after breakfast.

* * *

“How was your first day with Seungri?”

“It was fun. I hope I did okay. I still don’t really know what’s expected of me. Maybe I shouldn’t tease him like I did. It’s just how I lighten the mood. Jokes and jokes. Aigo! Maybe I should apologise to him next time I see him.”

“What did you think of the planetarium?”

“Oh that was brilliant! I love everything like that. Planetariums, zoos, especially aquariums! I could spend all day watching fish swim and stars swirl. It was perfect.”

“Perfect date?”

“Ah,” I laughed, “I keep forgetting it was a date. My first date in Korea. Ai… How embarrassing.”

“Why embarrassing?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because of the cameras? I just feel like I’m a teen again,“ I rubbed my arms, feeling a little too exposed as I remembered how many people would be seeing this, "I have no idea what I should do, or how I should act. I’m always worried that I crossed a line without realising.”

* * *

After the interview I went to the hotel’s gym. I felt a little bad for the camera crew, it was pretty clear that they were bored with it. I eventually was able to get Chul to spot me while lifting weights for a while, but then Taeyang came in and they had to start actively filming.

“You’re lifting weights again? Still not afraid of looking manly?”

“Why should I worry? Staying strong is important.”

“I guess. Most guys don’t like girls that are too strong.”

“Hmm… I don’t like guys that only like weak girls.”

“I guess you’re confident with Seungri then.”

“What?” I placed the bar back on the rack above me and sat up. “No, it’s not like that. I… If a man would dismiss me for being healthy, that’s not the type of man I want.”

“What type of man do you want?” He leaned against the squat rack next to the bench I was sitting on. _Cocky gym stances really are universal._  I resisted rolling my eyes.

“I’m not worried about men. I have enough of my own life to live. Having a boyfriend is nice, but I can definitely live without one.”

“So instead you just keep fish?”

 _Wow. Fuck this entire conversation._  I stood up, grabbing my water bottle and quickly towelling off the bench.

“My dog wouldn’t approve.”

I switched to sretching while Taeyang did his workout. The camera crew took a few shots that I’m pretty sure were angled so that it looked like we were ignoring each other on purpose. Which, to be fair, I guess we were.

* * *

The gym felt downright suffocating after what Taeyang had said, so I headed up to my room to do some sketching. After a very short while there was a knock on the door. I opened it to see Taeyang standing there, lone camera operator in tow. I didn’t say anything, waiting for him to explain why he was there.

He sighed heavily before starting, "I’m sorry if I insulted you.”

“Right…” it wasn’t really an apology so much as he was just trying to cover himself in case they kept it for the show. “I just don’t understand why you…”

“I have to remember where you come from. The skinship… It’s just a normal friendship thing for you. How it looks to me isn’t how it is for you.”

“Of course. You guys said to treat you normally. I’m trying to be mindful, but these sort of things will happen,” I paused to look him over, “I’m not trying to make anyone uncomfortable.”

“It’s not bad. It’s just unexpected. Not bad though. Anyway, I just wanted to apologise. I’ll leave you alone now.”

He turned to leave, but I called after him.

“Hey, can I ask something?”

He looked back, apparently annoyed. He obviously thought the conversation was over.

“Never mi…”

“Ask me,” he sighed.

“Are any of the others upset too? Do you know?”

“You mean Seunghyun?” He ran his hand through his hair, “he’s always like that with new people.”

“Not just him. I just worry. Maybe they’re being polite. Do I come across… like that?”

“If you were like that,” for the first time he seemed to smile a bit, “you wouldn’t worry. So, no, you don’t.”

* * *

I had too much energy. I had no idea what to do with myself. Finally I decided to take my sketchpad outside. I texted Seungri to let him know that I was heading out to Hangang Park. I wasn’t sure why I was telling him. It just seemed like the thing to do.

I had been set up and sketching for a little over an hour when my phone went off.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Are you at Hangang Park?**

_That’s not creepy at all._

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  How did you know?** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I didn’t know you drew.**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Okay… are you here or something?** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  No. Fans spotted you.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  There are pictures online. Complete with a comment section full of people trying to figure out if it’s really you.**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Seriously? That’s… You’re joking, right?** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Nope. Check it out. [————-]**

I opened up the link in my phone’s browser. There I was, cross legged on the bench, pencil in a slack hand as I observed the people around the river. I glanced in the direction that the picture must have been taken from, but there was nothing apparent there. Just a few benches next to the foot path. Feeling a little overexposed, I quickly closed the browser and returned to the messages from Mino.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  You must have expected it a little bit.**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Maybe I should have, but I didn’t really think of it.** _
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  This is… scary.** _

I looked around again, trying to discern if there was anyone that might try bothering me.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Why? Did anyone try to talk to you or anything?**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  No. But this is uncomfortable. Maybe I should have just stayed in the hotel.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Want me to come pick you up?**

I laughed at that, imagining for a second that Mino was trying be a hero.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Wouldn’t that cause a problem? Like the WGM thing?** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Maybe. But if you’re not comfortable you should get out.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  And not on public transit.**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Aish. I didn’t even think of that.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  We’re coming to get you. Fifteen minutes.**

My knight in limited run designer armour.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  If anyone tries to talk to you, just be polite and try not to offer any inside information.**
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Who is “we”?** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Just a friend. I’ll call you when we get there.**

“Unnie?”

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  You’re kind of scaring me.** _

“Excuse me, unnie?”

I looked up. A girl in a high school uniform was standing in front of me.

“Me?”

She nodded. My phone vibrated in my hand.

“Ah, sorry,” I offered her an apologetic smile, “I just need to check this.”

She nodded again. _So far so good for fan interactions._

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Sorry. This is the kind of thing you have to think about.**

I clicked my tongue and put my phone in my pocket. Turning my full attention to the student in front of me, I smiled again.

“Sorry again, can I help you?”

The girl motioned to the bench next to me, obviously asking if she could sit down. I cleared away my pencils and packed my supplies back into my bag.

“Ah, well, unnie, I’m sorry for bothering you.”

_Thank god._

“My friends,” she waved a hand towards a small group of other students. There were two other girls and a boy standing a little way away. I couldn’t help but notice their proximity to the approximate location that the picture had been taken from. I realised I had accidentally tuned out part of the girl’s sentence.

“… take a picture?”

I blinked, “with me? Sorry, I’m not used to this sort of thing.” I laughed, nervous and uncomfortable. The girl seemed just as nervous though. She nodded her head.

“If I’m honest, I don’t know if I’m allowed to,” I wished Chul was here to give me some guidance.  _Why was I allowed out on my own?_

“Please unnie? Just one?”

I bit my lip, weighing my options. If I accepted the request and she posted it online I could be targeted as being hungry for fame. If I denied the request she might try to stir up stories about how rude I was. I sighed and met the girl’s eye.

“I supposed one would be okay,” I gestured towards her friends. “A group picture?”

The girl’s face lit up. She stood quickly, bowing her thanks and jogging off to her friends. As they approached it was easy to see who the ring-leader was. The shortest girl walked slightly in front of the rest of them, looking the least shy. They each bowed and introduced themselves, all referring to me as unnie or noona. After they figured out between themselves whose phone was going to be used and everything they settled around me on the bench. Since I was in the middle they handed the phone to me. It was a model I wasn’t familiar with.

“Ah, I must be getting old,” I laughed, “I’m not sure how to take pictures with this one.”

One of them showed me the button along the side that activated the shutter. Once we were all settled I took a a minute to make sure we were all in the shot before hitting the button. I handed the phone back to its owner and thanked them for their interest. They all thanked and me and made some comments about the show. I was trying to be as “correct” as possible with them when one of the girls asked a question that caught me totally off guard.

“Unnie, are you going to sing for YG now?”

I burst out laughing, receiving looks ranging from surprise to shock from the students.

“Oh, oh wow, oh… I’m not nearly talented enough for that. Besides, even if I was, I don’t think I’m really the sort of thing they’re interested in.”

“But noona,” it was the first time the boy had spoken since introductions, “you sounded really good. Even T.O.P-hyung looked impressed?”

“Well, I have to let you guys in on something,” the students leaned in closer, looking eager for a secret, “I didn’t watch that part of the episode.”

“What?!”

“Really unnie?!”

“It was so good!”

“Maybe,” I shrugged sheepishly, “but I was too shy to watch it. Especially with the members. I hid in the kitchen while they were watching it.”

The students started laughing, but one of the girls nodded slowly.

“I guess that makes sense. I wouldn’t want to watch myself either.”

“Right, it’s a little…” my phone started ringing. “Hugeboy” popped up on the screen. “Ah, I’m sorry everyone, I think I have to go.”

* * *

There were minimal complaints as I stood and gathered my bag. I answered the call.

“Yeoboseyo, hold on just a second?”

“Okay?”

I bowed and said some quick goodbyes to the students before turning my attention back to the call.

“Sorry about that, where are you parked?”

“I can see you, turn to your right.”

I turned towards my right.

“The car with the tints. White.”

I spotted the car in question and headed towards it.

“God, could you have chosen a flashier car?”

“We didn’t have a lot of options.”

“Who the hell is ‘we’ anyway?

Mino just laughed into the receiver. It was followed by a tall figure stepping out of the driver’s door. They had a face mask, a hat, and sunglasses on. They didn’t make any moves as they watched me approach the car, simply standing with one arm draped over the door and the other resting on the roof of the car. I tried to run as many visual clues as I could as I walked.

His hair was either short, or long enough to be tied back. The mask was up over their nose, and the glasses covered their eyes pretty well.

"If that was supposed to be a hint, it’s not much of one.”

“You’re paying too much attention to the wrong thing.”

“Ugh, you are so annoying.”

“Come on noona, I know you can figure it out before you get to the **car**.”

I still had a good fifty meters to the car. I had to admit that it was a nice car. A really nice car. An extremely nice car. A ridiculously nice car.

I stopped walking.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

More laughter through my phone, this time accompanied by whom I could safely assume was Mino getting out of the passenger side door.

“I hate you. This isn’t happening. You’re fucking joking, right?”

“I didn’t plan it. Well, not exactly. You’re the one that had to go out in public and get noticed while I was hanging out with him.”

I turned away from the car, burying my face in my hand, still tightly clasping the phone to my ear.

“This is the worst. This is awful. I hate you.”

“You’re such a liar.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Just come to the car, before the fans figure it out.”

I turned back towards them and started walking again, though a little faster now.

“Let’s be real, if I figured it out, they definitely already did.”

“True. Hurry up.”

The phone went silent, and the figure next to the passenger door tucked their phone into their pocket.

* * *

Once I was a couple meters away from the car I stopped and bowed, barely resisting the urge to hide behind my hands.

“Just get in the car,” Mino said, “we can do introductions while driving.”

Once I was settled into the back seat and we were on the road Mino performed the most perfunctory introduction possible.

“Woo 'Zico’ Jiho, Luna… I just realised I don’t know your family name.”

“Just Luna is fine.”

“How mysterious.”

It was the first thing Zico had said, and it was enough to make me wish I had a scarf or something to hide behind. Mino, on the other hand, just continued as if everything was perfectly normal. Which, I had to admit, for him it was.

“Did you check the email yet?”

“Huh? Oh!” Man, as if I wasn’t embarrassed enough already, “not yet. Sorry.”

“Aish… here I’ll just show you now.”

He fiddled with his phone, searching for something. After a minute he handed it back to me. It was open to his media player, with a track titled simply “Luna” queued up. I shot him a quizzical look.

“Just play it.”

“Should I put it on the speakers?” Zico asked.

“No! Definitely not,” Mino nearly shouted. He looked back at me sheepishly, “sorry.”

Zico laughed, and I tapped the arrow on the screen.

I don’t know what I had expected. I had definitely not expected to be met by my own voice. But there was something different about it. My entire body was on fire with embarrassment. I barely made it thirty seconds into the recording before hitting pause.

"What do you think?”

I looked up, meeting Mino’s eyes in the rear-view mirror.

“I… uh… I don’t know. It’s…”

“I could have done a lot better if I had a raw recording. But all Mino gave me sounded like it had been ripped out of some other recording.”

I leaned back, eyes wide. _What was I supposed to say?_ I had no idea how much money people put into having Zico work on their stuff, but Mino had gotten him to make that recording out of audio from the show, and in only a day.

“Do you like it?”

Mino had turned around in his seat, looking back at me to properly gauge my reaction.

“I…” I started shaking my head slightly, trying to shake some sort of sense into myself.

“I think you broke her Mino.”

Mino shot me a smile, but returned to his seat, blessedly deciding not to ask me any more questions.

Silence fell over the car for a while. Then the obvious hit me.

“Where are we going?”

* * *

Once again, I found myself doubting the reality of my life. I paused halfway through the door, running a fingertip over the emblem on the glass.

“Come on, you’ve been in and out of YG all week. You can’t still be reacting like this.”

I nudged Mino.

“This is different. This is Seven Seasons. This is… It’s just different.”

“Aish… I figured you were a fan of hyung,” Mino pouted a little, “but I didn’t think it would be like this.”

“Fans don’t care about the size of our companies,” Zico popped his head out of the room he had walked into, “they care about our talent. YG is big, but Seven Seasons has **me**. Now come on.”

* * *

“Noona, please.”

“I… Wh… You… No!”

Zico was sitting in a chair, grinning as he leaned back and watched Mino and I argue.

“Why not? It will be super fast. Ten minutes, maximum.”

Did I say argue? More like Mino pleaded while I stuttered.

“Y-y-you can’t… You can’t be serious? This… This is… I mean… This is…”

“Mino,” Zico stood up, digging one hand in his pocket, “why don’t you go get us some coffees? From the place across the street.”

Zico held out his wallet to Mino. It was clear how well they knew each other from the silent conversation they had.

Mino took the wallet and opened the door. I moved to follow him.

“Noona, how about you stay here?”

I hesitated, looking between the two men. Mino offered me a smile.

“You can stay. I’ll just be gone for a minute.”

He closed the door after him. I turned to face Zico. I was still not able to make myself look him the eye though.  _God. This is so stupid. I’ve met some of Korea’s biggest stars in the last week. Why is this different?_

“Want me to show what I did for that clip?”

“Um, sure. If you don’t mind.”

Zico gestured for me to sit in the wheeled chair. Once I did, he rolled me closer to the set-up on the desk. He bent next to me, waking up his computer and pulling up the file.

* * *

I couldn’t tell you what he said if I tried. Between not being technically proficient enough to fully understand and still being nervous, I barely heard a word of it. I mostly just nodded and hummed to show I was at least trying to listen.

“How do you like Mino?”

Oh, I know this one!

“I like his voice, and he’s obviously proven his versatility. I only found out about him because of Who Am I though.”

Zico laughed, pulling the chair back and turning it so that I was facing him. I heard my phone go off and started digging through my bag for it.

“I meant how do you like him? What do you think of him? He’s handsome, right?”

“Well, yeah. You have to be handsome to become famous.”

“So he’s just your handsome and famous friend?”

I shrugged, checking the message that I had just gotten.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  Where are you?**

I paused, remembering that Mino had mentioned that Jiyong didn’t like Jiho, and the way that Daesung had quickly changed the topic when I had brought up Block B before. I figured I maybe shouldn’t tell him I was sitting in a room with the leader of the group. But I didn’t want to lie.

> _**To: Lyong Boho  
>  You need to learn a new way of starting conversations.** _
> 
> _**To: Lyong Boho  
>  I’m with Mino right now.** _

“I guess so. Though I’m not really sure that we’re friends,” my brows dipped and I finally looked up at Zico. “I’m just the new kid at school, right? A little bit of time and I won’t be interesting anymore.”

Zico leaned back on the work top, crossing his arms. My phone went off.

“Do you want him to be interested in you?”

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  I take it that’s why there are pictures of you getting into a Porsche online?**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  Mino doesn’t own a Porsche though. Where are you really?**

“I’m not interesting. He just hasn’t caught on yet.”

Zico nodded, then tilted his head.

“What do you listen to?”

“Ah, hold on just one second?”

> _**To: Lyong Boho  
>  I’m with Mino and Zico.** _
> 
> _**To: Lyong Boho  
>  They were hanging out together before Mino decided to come get me.** _

I shot the text off to Jiyong before I handed my phone over so that Zico could see my music collection. Zico scrolled through my music for a little while, stopping to ask about certain artists that he wasn’t familiar with. He was watching a video of an American band that I had pulled up when my phone started ringing. I took the call out in the hallway.

“Yeobose…”

“Where are you? Location, not who you’re with.”

I tilted my head back and sighed.

“I’m at Seven Seasons right now.”

“Where’s Mino? Put him on the phone.”

_Well shit._

“He went to go get coffee. He should be back in just…”

“I’m calling Mino. Keep your phone close.”

The line went dead before I could respond. I pocketed my phone and rubbed my temples, squeezing my eyes shut.  _Why did I feel like I had just been caught cheating on my boyfriend?_

A minute later I heard a door open and Mino’s voice. I looked up to see him carrying coffee and talking on his phone.

“- I thought was best… I’m sorry… I know… Yes… She had to be… I’m sorry hyungnim… Alright… I will… I’m back with her now… Yes…”

He handed the phone to me, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly.

“Yes?”

“I’m not happy about this. But I’m going to have to trust Mino to take care of you.”

“I can take care…”

“Please don’t argue with me right now.” He sounded tired.

“Jiyong-ah~…” I lightened my tone, hoping to make him chill, “oppa~, I’m fine.”

Jiyong sighed as I tried to ignore Mino making faces at my tone of voice.

“I know. And I know it isn’t your fault. I just don’t like you being there.”

“Why though? What’s wrong?”

“Jag…” I heard him take a deep breath, sighing before he continued, “we can talk when you get back. Promise me that you will stay close to Mino, okay?”

“Oppa…”

“Just promise me, okay?”

“Fine,” I rolled my eyes, “I promise.”

He sighed again, crackling slightly over the phone.

“Promise you’ll call me if anything happens?”

“What would happen?”

“Just… for me.”

“I promise oppa.”

“Alright. Leave as soon as you can, and let me know when you get back, okay?”

“Why…”

“Jagi…” he coughed, clearing his throat, “Luna, please?”

“Alright.”

“Okay. I’ll see you when you get back.”

I hung up and handed the phone back to Mino. He handed me a take away cup of hot chocolate in return, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Oppa, huh?”

“Don’t start.”

Mino smiled, pushing open the door to the studio.

“It didn’t sound so bad you know.”

“Stop,” I tried to sound stern, but Jiyong had drained a significant amount of my energy.

“I’m not doing anything,” Mino asserted, handing a coffee off to Zico, “but I’m sure there are plenty of things that wouldn’t sound bad if you said them.”

“What are you two talking about?”

‘She…”

“Jiyong isn’t happy about me being here,” I cut Mino off. I wasn’t sure why I did it. Maybe I figured that honesty would be better than whatever joke Mino was about to make up.

“Jiyong? Kwon Jiyong?” Zico rose an eyebrow, expression somewhere between confused and captivated, “and what does Prince Jiyong have to do with you?”

_Shit. I didn’t think this through._

“I… Uh…” Once again, I wasn’t sure how to answer. The show was officially on air, but it still felt weird to talk about.

“Didn’t you see it?” Mino propped his elbow on my shoulder, “she’s the bullet in Date Roulette.”

* * *

Zico fiddled with some recordings while Mino and I talked. _Talked?_ I mean Mino gave me a short lecture about the kids at the park.

“You shouldn’t have taken a picture with them,” he shook his head, “it confirmed that it was you. That’s why they took that picture that Jiyong-hyung saw.”

I crossed my arms, standing my ground, “you told me to be nice to them.”

“She’s got you there,” Zico glanced up at us.

Mino rubbed his hands over his face, groaning.

“You essentially just locked yourself inside the hotel. If you leave without crew, you’re leaving yourself open to the fans.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” I leaned back against the wall, trying to create more distance between us without being obvious, “I’m not the famous one.”

“Not yet. Noonim,” Zico swiveled in his chair to face me, “Mino’s just trying to keep you safe. Even if he’s acting like an annoyingly overprotective brother.”

“I am not acting like a brother,” Mino snapped at Zico. He turned back to me, “Jiyong-hyung agrees with me.”

Zico made a dismissive noise. Standing up, he briefly shut down his computer and then turned back to us, stretching.

"Come on, if Jiyong is that annoyed we should probably get her back on her leash.”

* * *

About a block away from the hotel I, as promised, let Jiyong know I was back. I opted for a text, since I figured he’d meet me at my room anyway. Might as well save some energy by not starting the conversation until we were face to face, right?

> _**To: Lyong Boho  
>  I’m back.** _

His response came just as we were pulling up in front of the building.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  Wait in the lobby. I’ll come down.**

I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut. I could sense the ridiculousness from here. Mino lifted an eyebrow at me as he offered me a hand getting out of the car.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just… machismo, I guess. Look,” I held my phone out to him.

Mino read the message, a look somewhere between fear and annoyance crossing his features. He ducked down to talk to Zico, who was still seated in the car.

“You might want to get out of here. I think I better stick around to handle this. I’ll call you later.”

“Alright,” Zico’s voice came out of the car, “yah! Minyeo!”

Mino bent down again.

“What?”

“Not you, idiot. Her.”

Mino stood back and I leaned down to look at Zico.

“Me? Minyeo?”

“Yeah, listen. Don’t let them box you up,” he flashed a quick smile, “I’ll be seeing you.”

* * *

Jiyong had both of us go up to his room with him. Five years in and I still couldn’t get used to the way grown adults would lecture each other. I’ll spare you the details, since it was mostly Mino nodding his head and saying “yes” while Jiyong rambled on about how I didn’t know how to handle myself in the public arena yet. It took a good half an hour before Jiyong dismissed Mino.

Then it was my turn. As soon as the door shut behind Mino, Jiyong turned to me.

“What were you thinking?”

“That I would use my free time to get some drawing done, mostly.”

Jiyong’s face read like an error message.  _Oh, that was probably a rhetorical question._

Sighing, Jiyong headed into his kitchen. I stayed on the sofa, listening to him shuffle around. A minute later he returned, handing me a cup filled with what appeared to be juice of some sort. Another sigh and he sat next to me, putting a hand on my knee. He tugged slightly at my leg, trying to turn me to face him better.

“I’m not mad at you.”

“You’re just disappointed? Sorry dad.” Humour might not have been the best option, but it was a force of habit.

“I’m not even disappointed. I was worried. Look,” he took the glass from my hand, putting it on the table carefully, “I don’t understand you. You’re so cautious at times, but so careless at others.”

“I’m not going to stay locked in the hotel if I have nothing on the schedule.”

“That’s… I’m talking about how you’re too trusting. You don’t know these people, but you got into the car with them? You just let them take you away to who knows where…”

“It was a studio.”

Jiyong groaned, stretching his head back and around. Small snaps came from his neck.

“Turn around.”

Jiyong quirked an eyebrow, “what?”

I rolled my eyes, raising a hand to indicate that he should spin.

“Just turn around,” patting his shoulder to spur him into action.

He slowly turned, settling on the sofa facing away from me. I straightened out his shirt a bit before starting to massage his neck and shoulders. Immediately he slumped forward.

“Mm… I should lecture you more often.”

“Don’t push it.”

We sat in silence for a while; me kneading the taught ropes of tense muscles, him humming his approval. When Jiyong spoke up again he sounded more relaxed.

“I just want you to be safe. I know Seunghyun, well… Seunghyun isn’t very good at this sort of thing.”

“I’ll be more careful,” I stilled my hands, “but I’m a grown adult.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” he leaned back slowly, stopping once his head was resting on my collarbone.

“There’s just a lot of shit that goes on in the idol world. Shit that gets covered up, and kept hidden, and that you might not expect.”

“Again, grown adult,” I ruffled his hair, “I’ve dealt with worse things before. Trust me.”

“Fine,” Jiyong sat up straight and turned back to face me, “when are meeting with Seungri? Have you had lunch yet?”

* * *

We ordered room service. Having burst out laughing when he suggested it, I had to explain to Jiyong that it felt dirty in some way.

“It’s such a,” I circled my hands around, trying to come up with words, “it seems like the sort of things that couples do when they’re… not planning on leaving the room?”

Jiyong tilted his head, his eyes floating around the room for a second before he started laughing.

“Well, this is just about lunch,” he lifted the room’s phone to his ear, shooting me a wink before dialling room service, “maybe next time.”

There wasn’t much conversation while we ate. I was entirely too absorbed in the soup to waste effort on something as trivial as talking. Jiyong was a lot less invested in his dish. Every time I looked up he seemed to be watching me. It made me a little self-conscious, but not enough to do anything more than flash him a smile before returning to the bowl.

We were stacking up the now emptied dishes when Mino checked in.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  How was your lecture?**

“Is that Seungri?”

“Mino. He wants to know how badly you yelled at me.”

“I’d never yell at you,” Jiyong reproached.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  He bought me lunch.** _
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  I think he’s convinced that any and all fault is yours.** _

“Did you tell him I didn’t yell?”

“I told him you forbade me from talking to him,” I smirked.

Jiyong stared me down. Eventually he settled to just ask, “seriously?! Why?!”

I reached out and patted his shoulder.

“I’m kidding. I’m gloating about how easy I had it compared to him.”

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I guess that’s to be expected.**

“Good,” Jiyong caught my hand to squeeze it, “he’ll know that it was all his fault.”

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  He feels responsible for you.**

I snorted, tucking my phone back into my pocket.

“I don’t know if he feels as guilty as you’d like him to.”

Jiyong frowned, refraining from letting go of my hand.

* * *

Jiyong insisted I stay in his suite while I waited for Seungri to get back to the hotel.

I expected it to feel a little suffocating, but it was actually nice. I still my bag, with all of my art supplies, with me. Thus, while he worked on his laptop, I stationed myself on the little balcony jutting off of his living room and started some fresh cityscapes. At one point he came out with another glass of juice.

“I’m rubbing off on you,” I laughed.

“A little,” he put the glass down on the little table. He leaned over the back of my chair, resting his weight on the armrest.

“Where’d you learn to draw? It’s pretty good.”

I handed the sketch pad over to him, shrugging.

“I like it,” he flipped through a few pages, “when did you do this one?”

He turned the pad, showing me a quick sketch of him that I had done before bed a few days ago.

“After we put Seungri to bed. It’s kind of bad.”

He turned the pad back and looked it over. The longer it took, the more I felt like shrinking. After what felt like ages he finally spoke up.

“It’s because I need to take care of you.”

I looked up at him, but his eyes were still on the picture.

“What?”

“The juice,” he finally put the pad down, “lunch, everything.” He stretched his neck, “I feel like I should take care of you. Protective.”

“I knew you were jealous.”

He laughed and handed my pad back. Smiling, he ran a hand through my hair briefly before simply heading back inside.

* * *

I was napping on Jiyong’s sofa when Seungri texted me. Jiyong shook my shoulder, holding my phone up to me.

“Maknae wants your attention.”

> **From: Seungri  
>  I’m leaving the shoot. I’ll be back soon.**
> 
> **From: Seungri  
>  Can you be ready to leave by six thirty?**

I stretched out, my shoulders creaking stiffly from the sofa.

> _**To: Seungri  
>  Sounds fine to me. Dress code?** _
> 
> **From: Seungri  
>  Whatever you like. Casual.**

Pocketing my phone, I sat up, blinking at my watch. Jiyong looked up from his laptop.

“What’s up? Are you leaving?”

“Yeah,” I stretched again, “I need to go get ready.”

He frowned, and set his laptop aside. He rested his arms on his knees, leaning forward and looking me over. I could see the words waiting on the back of his tongue, so I waited for him to decide whether to say them. He licked his lips once before speaking.

“Has he… How was your date last night?”

I chuckled and stood up. Trying to keep casual, I avoided eye contact and bent to pick up my bag.

“He didn’t kiss me.”

“I didn’t ask that,” Jiyong seemed annoyed. He clicked his teeth and huffed, shaking his head.

“It went well,” I smiled, “I’m glad I’m starting with Seungri.”

I was heading towards the door now, Jiyong slowly following behind me.

“I see,” he leaned against the wall while I slipped my shoes on, “and he hasn’t tried to kiss you yet…” his voice trailed off. He was talking to himself more than me.

“He was a gentleman. Were you,” I stood up straight, kicking my shoes on more securely, “expecting him not to be?”

“No,” he shrugged, “but I need to make sure.

"Well, it was fine. Nothing for you to worry about. Nothing for you to take care of.”

Jiyong nodded and pushed himself off the wall, “can I hold on to your sketch pad?”

I cocked my head.

“Why?”

“I want to take a look,” he shrugged, “it’s fine if you don’t want me to.”

I dug my pad out of my bag and handed it over to him.

“Feel free. There’s not much in there though. I tend to give away a lot of my pictures.”

Jiyong took the pad politely, using both hands. He nodded as he held it.

“Good luck tonight.”

* * *

A quick shower, some makeup, and the memory of Jiyong saying that red and gold were Seungri’s favourite colours were all that it took to get ready. Then I waited. It wasn’t a long wait though. Quarter to six had my bell ringing. Seungri’s smile was easier this time, more relaxed. He seemed more excited than nervous tonight. It did quite a bit to make me feel more at ease.

“I think,” he settled against the wall of the elevator next to me, “I have one of the most normal dates possible planned for tonight.”

I gave him a joking smile, raising one eyebrow.

“Still trying to prove that fame hasn’t ruined you?”

He pouted at me, “I don’t want you to think that it’s all I have going for me.”

I sighed, winding my arm through his.

“Maybe I was being too harsh before,” I tilted my head to rest against his shoulder.

“No, well… maybe. But you were right,” I felt his head lean against mine, “I don’t really know how to be normal. I figured I’d try it out.”

“Well, you’ve definitely got consideration going for you.”

Seungri didn’t respond except to simply slide his hand into mine, drawing both into his pocket.

He wasn’t lying. We went to Time Square Seoul. Wandering through the stores, he kept pretty quiet, letting me direct where we went. He seemed content to follow me from store to store, only making comments to say I should try on something or how it looked.

“You don’t really shop a lot, do you?”

“You can tell?”

He laughed and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. He squeezed me closer to him, “you hesitate on everything. I keep having to convince you to even try anything on.”

“I can usually tell if something will look good without trying it on,” I shrugged.

“Yes, but it’s more fun to try stuff on. Besides, trying on things you doubt lets you find stuff you wouldn’t have normally.”

“Maybe,” I shrugged, “I’ve got a small comfort zone about some things.”

“Comfort… That seems to be a theme with you.”

“Sometimes. I’ll double check my stove before leaving the house, but,” I bent to look at some shoes, “I also had no problem trusting the boys today.”

“Which boys?”

“Mino and Zico. They came to pick me up at the park today.”

“Why?” His hand tightened in mine.

Seungri frowned a little as I explained what had happened that day. He chewed his lips, nodding. Staying quiet he slowly kept increasing the skinship between us. By the time I finished the story, his chin was resting on my shoulder as he stood behind me with his hands in my sweatshirt pockets.

“Am I comfortable?”

“Yes, let’s go over here.”

Holding onto me gently, Seungri directed me down the court-way towards the cinema.

“Movies?”

“Yes,” he dug his chin more securely into my shoulder, “the most normal date ever invented.”

“Nice.”

* * *

He didn’t even fully extract himself from me to pay for the tickets. Instead he fished his wallet out and handed it to me, looping the fingers of his hands around my middle as I paid. Even walking to the concession stand and into the theater, he kept his arms under mine. He only disengaged when we had to sit down.

The skinship was reinstated as soon as we sat down. As quickly as I was seated, my hand was tangled into Seungri’s fingers. It was a cute in the beginning, but was becoming a little burdensome.

“Seungri, how am I supposed to eat the popcorn if you keep a hold on me like this?”

He looked at the bucket of popcorn situated between us. After a second he reached into it with his free hand and brought a kernel to my lips. It was a little juvenile, but too cute to pass up. I carefully took it between my teeth.

There was a moment of relative silence between us as I chewed and swallowed. I squeezed his hand.

“That’s not really a solution.”

“Works for me,” he dead-panned. His eyes were on the ads being played before us, affording me a chance to look him over. There were little signs of tiredness all over him. There was the slackness of his legs, as if he didn’t have the willpower to do anything other than let them sprawl in front of him. The curvature of his posture also showed what a long day it must have been for him. The skin around his ey-

“Am I handsome?”

“Huh?” I hadn’t thought he would notice my gaze.

“You’re staring,” he smiled, tilting his head to glance sideways at me, “I must be handsome today.”

“No… I mean not no… I was just…”

“It’s fine. You can look at me as much as you want,” he laughed quietly, “but don’t blame me if you miss the whole movie.”

* * *

After the movie, Seugri’s clinginess was a little mitigated. Settling for simply holding my hand, we headed back towards the parking area.

“If I had my way, we’d go for another late night cafe date,” he sighed, pulling open the door to the car and holding it for me, “but we have an early morning tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” I brushed past him, taking a seat, “what’s the schedule tomorrow?”

He bounced up into his seat, next to me. After tugging the door shut and getting situated, he put an arm around my shoulders.

“Group schedule. I overheard that it has something to do with a video shoot.”

“How is that any different than the rest of the show?”

Seungri shrugged. I rested my head against his shoulder, trying to figure out what that might mean. We both seemed to fall into thought, since the rest of the ride home _(home? I guess in a way the hotel is home for now)_ was in silence.

* * *

I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew was that I was being gently led into the elevator in the garage. Half-conscious, I leaned most of my weight on Seungri. In return, he wrapped an arm around my waist to hold me up. I was mostly awake by the time we reached the elevator.

Stepping through the sliding metal doors, I leaned against the railing. Seungri hit a button, illuminating the “17” on it. I smirked.

“I know I’m tired, but I can get to my room by myself.”

“I want to walk you up.”

We both fell quiet for a few floors. Then…

“Sorry for being so clingy tonight.”

I cocked my head. The boy was self-aware! Science has gone too far!

“What caused it?”

Seungri looked surprised. He had probably expected me to just say that it was no problem.

“I… Uh… Zico'sreallycharmingandIgotjealous… I guess.”

I shook my head.

“I’m… I’m still too foreign for you to talk that fast. Can you slow down?”

Seungri sighed, hanging his head into one hand.

“I got jealous,” he said in a low voice, “Zico and Mino are both really popular with fans and… you said yourself that you’re not really a fan of us. So… I felt like maybe you liked them better.”

He spoke slowly this time. Hesitant in his explanation. By the time he finished his explanation, his clinginess had returned and we were passing floor twelve.

“I’m not really into younger guys.”

Seungri’s hand, which had re-grasped my own, twitched. A happy sounding hum escaped him as he rested his head on my shoulder.

“What about same age friends?”

“Hmm,” I tilted my own head to rest on top of his, “they’re okay sometimes.”

We soon arrived at my floor. Try as I might to convince Seungri that he didn’t have to, he walked me to my suite. Our hands were still entwined and I felt a little self-conscious. Dinner, mall, public skinship, movie… I’d been on enough dates in college to have a pretty good idea of how this was supposed to end.

I ended up staring at my shuffling feet through most of the requisite goodbyes.

“So how did I do?”

“With what?”

“Being normal.”

I smiled, not really looking up as I tucked my flyaways back into place.

“It’s was perfect. I hardly knew you weren’t normal.”

I started trying to fish through my purse for the door’s keycard. It wasn’t an easy task, since Seungri still had my hand in his. I had the card in hand when some manoeuvring on Seungri’s part had me turned. The door now behind me, I glanced up for a second.

 _Curse those cameras!_ Usually I would have been much more confident. Instead, I dropped my gaze again.

Nearly immediately, I felt gentle fingers on my chin. I tried not to laugh or roll my eyes.  _Really? That’s such a TV move._

“Can I kiss you?”

_Ah, he was probably nervous too._

“Um… Well…”

He closed the gap between us. Soft lips. Slightly shaky lips. Barely there lips.  _Fuck, why is this so cute?_

When he pulled back, the blush was evident on his neck and ears.

“I… I’m going to…”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Goodnight.”

_Is it humanly possible to not be awkward in such a situation? Plato theorised that it’s possible, but difficult._

* * *

I only relaxed when I was able to close the door behind me. I raised my hand to my cheek, tracing where his lips had been.  _Clever boy._  The cheek kiss would play well with audiences. It would preserve a sense of propriety. Both of our images would be left intact.

Dropping my purse from my shoulder, I pressed my other hand over my eyes.  _God damn it Luna. Maybe he just wanted to kiss me, but went for the cheek because of my hesitancy. The presence of cameras didn’t automatically make him some sort of romantic tactician._

Probably better not to think too much about it.

Shoes were kicked off, phone retrieved from my bag. It was still turned off from the cinema. I pressed the button to turn it on and headed to the kitchen.

Water glass in hand, my phone started going off with missed messages. I browsed them while I went to the bathroom to remove my makeup and brush my teeth.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  How does the show work?**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  One date each night or something?**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Ah, you’re probably on one right now.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Be vigilant!**

Odd choice of words. Disregarding the lateness of the hour, I chuckled as I responded.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  I don’t think it’s very structured like that. Seems like each day is basically left up to whoever is involved.** _
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Though tomorrow is a group day, so who knows? Maybe there’s some sort of script that I just don’t know about.** _
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Also, vigilant?** _

I switched to my inbox view. Who next…

> **From: Sooooo AH  
>  Whose car is that? The one online?**
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH  
>  I didn’t think any of the members drive a Porsche???**

She must have messaged me after she had gotten out of work.

> **From: Sooooo AH  
>  Fans say that they think it might be Zico’s???? But he’s not even at YG??????**

I sighed, then dashed off a quick message.

> _**To: Sooooo AH  
>  Well, the fans aren’t wrong. And neither are you.** _

Back to the inbox. Just two more little flags to clear and I could finally go to sleep.

> **From: [Unknown]  
>  Luna? This is Kang Seungyoon. I’m not sure exactly why, but Mino thought that we should have each other’s contact info.**

I scrunched my eyebrows. Weird. I saved his number anyway.

> **From: Seungyoon  
>  He said something about fans and backup?**
> 
> _**To: Seungyoon  
>  Really? He didn’t mention it to me.** _

My phone chimed, but I ignored it. I only had one more old message to get to. _Besides, who would be messaging me at midnight?_

The irony of my own thought struck me as I opened the next text.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  What did you guys do tonight?**

I chewed the inside of my lip.

> _**To: Lyong Boho  
>  It’s group day tomorrow, right? We can talk then.** _
> 
> _**To: Lyong Boho  
>  I’m so tired :(** _

I seriously considered going straight to bed, but decided to check the message that had just come in.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  You know how guys are.**

I was definitely too tired for my own good. I should have ignored the message until the morning.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Yes, I do. I’m not an idiot, and I am older than you.** _
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  I’ve had enough experiences to be capable of reading a situation.** _

I rolled my eyes and focused on really getting ready for bed. My phone chimed again, Mino’s nickname scrolling across the screen. I huffed and ignored it while I brushed my teeth and got changed. When I was in bed, I checked it, and the ones that had followed.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I don’t think you’re an idiot.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I don’t think you’re a child either.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I’m sorry (シ_ _)シ I didn’t mean for it to seem like that.**

I rubbed a hand over my face. _Why are boys so exhausting?_ Or maybe it was just regular exhaustion.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  I’m not mad. I was just making a point.** _
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  I appreciate that I’ve been temporarily adopted by this section of the YG family. I just feel like I’m being treated a little like a dumb five year old sometimes.** _

I regretted hitting send as soon as my thumb touched the screen. Groaning, I pulled the blanket over my head. The phone chimed, looking a thousand times brighter in the enclosed fabric cave.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I want to apologise, but it sounds like it’s bigger than me 「(°ヘ°) I’m sorry for my part.**

I actually felt a little bad. This was clearly the awkward starter stage of something like friendship. Then again, the faster we get the misunderstandings out of the way, the better. Right?

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  It’s fine. I’ll be gone in about a month anyway. I should just deal with it.** _

No response was forthcoming. Had I just alienated someone who seemed to be an ally?  _Good job Luna. Score another one for self-sabotage._

My eyes were shut and my limbs heavy when my phone chimed. Signal after signal, Mino made his rebuttal.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  1\. I doubt you can disappear as cleanly as you like after the show.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  2\. It’s not fine, and you shouldn’t just deal with it.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  3\. There’s a show on Thursday. [—–]. I would like for you to be there, and suggesting it might offer you a chance to assert yourself in the show.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  3.5 That last one was kind of self-serving. I’m sorry.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  4\. If you think the pressure is bad now, you need to start pushing back now. The pressure will keep coming. You need to build a strong foundation for yourself.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  5\. Get some sleep. You’re going to need it.**

I typed up the quickest response that I thought would cover the most ground. Lethargy made it nearly impossible to get the few syllables out before I dropped the phone on the mattress.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  I’m trying.** _


	10. Seungri: Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The entire group shoots short genderbent scenes with Luna. Seungri takes an opportunity, and is bashful about it. Seunghyun goes over the top, which makes Seungri jealous. Jiyong crosses some boundaries, then overcompensates in his apology (while testing some other boundaries).

I woke up before the production team showed up on Wednesday morning. Which was good, because it gave me time to write down my dream from Tuesday night in my notebook. That didn’t work entirely, since the team showed up before I could finish. Chul was curious about it.

“What’s that?”

“Just writing down my dreams from last night,” I hurried to finish scribbling the dreams down, “and the night before. I haven’t had time to do it lately.”

“Dreaming about Seungri?” he tried to look over my shoulder at the book.

“Yah!” I clutched it to my chest, laughing. “oppa, stop that.”

“Alright, alright. Come on, you’ve got to get ready for the interview.”

* * *

“You ran into Taeyang at the gym yesterday.”

“Yeah,” I fidgeted in my chair, “I probably should have expected that.”

Chul gave me a waving hand motion, urging me to keep going.

“He said some stuff that really,” I licked my lips, trying find the right phrase, “it was rude. I didn’t expect that at all.”

“Asking about keeping fish?”

“Yes!” I groaned and leaned back slightly, “I don’t think I come across that way, but I know there are differences between how I try to present myself and how others will see me.”

I sighed, and ran my hand through my hair, “I’ll just have to try harder to make sure there aren’t any more misunderstandings.”

“So it got resolved?”

“Yes. He came to see me that evening. We talked a little bit and I feel a little better about it now. It’s just…” I shrugged, “mutual culture shock I guess.”

“How was it when he came to see you?”

“I was a little surprised. I was expecting the production crew when I heard the knock on my door. To see him standing there was… unexpected. A little bit of a shock actually.”

I found myself completely unruly. I kept adjusting on the chair, eventually ending up with my legs tucked up under my chin.

“I had thought that he really disliked me. Enough that I wasn’t expecting an apology for the fish comment. Not that I think he’s unforgiving or mean. He’s just always so rigid around me. Like he can never relax.”

“Maybe he likes you and is scared.”

“Maybe,” I laughed, “I doubt it though.”

“I see,” Chul checked a little notepad before continuing, “how was your date with Seungri last night?”

“It was fun. I’m not very much into shopping so it was a little strange for me. Especially when he offered to buy things.”

“Why not just let him buy you the gift?”

“I don’t like receiving gifts. Especially when there isn’t any reason for them. I guess I feel like I don’t deserve it, or that maybe he would expect something in return,” I shook my head, annoyed, “what can I give to a celebrity?”

“You think he might want something else?”

“Eh?” I tilted my head to the side, brows dipping, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Do you think he’s interested in you,” Chul cleared his throat, “physically?”

“Physically?” My eyes went wide, “oh! Aigo! I don’t know about… I can’t really say. He seems to be trying hard but… maybe he’s just doing that for the show. I don’t know him well enough to know if he’s being sincere or not.”

“What about at the end of the date?”

“Oh man…” I buried my head in my hands, “yes. That. I mean… I guess that would be a sign of interest.”

* * *

After the interview, I went down to breakfast. On the way I wondered what the group activity was. When I got to the cafe, Daesung and Jiyong were already there.

I had barely taken a seat when Jiyong started talking.

“About yesterday…”

“Can we not? Not before breakfast?” I pleaded.

“I just… Do we have a sixth competitor?”

Daesung was glancing between us, clearly out of the loop.

“Aigo… I’m trying not to think of that. Besides, who says there’s any competition? Maybe none of you will end up liking me. And what if I end up not liking any of you?”

Jiyong looked like he was about to make a smart remark, but Daesung jumped in.

“Seungri already likes you. If you don’t like any of us… well… we can’t make you. We’ll just get poor ratings.”

“Of course some of us will like you. Maybe not all, but some,” Jiyong lifted his coffee cup, “you can’t just put a pretty girl into the middle of a group of healthy men and expect nothing to come of it.”

I choked into my tea.

“Hey, you’re going to scare her off Jiyong.”

We fell into the crunchy silence of eating breakfast. My phone chimed and I checked it.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Feel better?**

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Sleep well?**

“Who’s texting you so early?” Jiyong asked.

“Mino.”

> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  Yes, and average. I have a question that I meant to ask you last night though._ **

Jiyong clicked his tongue, expressing some level of disapproval. I ignored him.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Why am I nervous?**

> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  I just wanted to know why you gave Seungyoon my number?_ **

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Oh. Just in case.**

“Jesus christ.”

“What?”

I looked up at Daesung. I hadn’t realised I had said it out loud.

“Oh, just Mino. He is somehow both incredibly open, but not at all straight forward.”

> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  In case of what?_ **

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  If anything comes up and you need help, and I can’t make it.**

This kid. Again with this saviour complex. I decided not to start lecturing him so early.

“What is he doing?”  


“I think he’s trying to be helpful,” I kept my gaze on the phone, not really wanting to see what expression Jiyong was wearing.  


> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  Okay… but I have all of Big Bang and also Bobby._ **

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  What if you don’t feel comfortable with talking to BB-hyungs about it?**

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I doubt Jiwon is really on your list for potential help too.**

I sighed and tucked my phone back into my pocket. It was too early for this. I expected one of the boys to ask more questions, but they thankfully stayed quiet.

* * *

Only a few more minutes passed before Taeyang joined us, followed shortly by Seungri. We all shuffled seats a bit and said good morning.

“Anyone have any ideas about what today is?” Seungri started off the obvious topic.

“Maybe we’ll have to save our princess from something,” Jiyong smirked into his spoon.

“No, it’ll be variety style,” Daesung spouted, as if he had a deep understanding of how the production was working. Hell, maybe he did know. “It’s probably some weird sport.”

Taeyang sighed, “it will be something embarrassing, no doubt.”

“Ah…” I slumped in my chair, “I hope it’s not too bad.”

“Don’t worry Luna,” Seungri flashed a smile, “I’ll take care of you. I’m your knight in shining armour.” He started flexing in a joking way, earning some smiles from the others.

His antics were interrupted by Seunghyun stationing himself on the bench style seat between us, “more like a fool in tin foil.”

“Hyung, you’re already in a mood? It’s not even 10am yet!”

Seunghyun raised a hand to get the waiter’s attention, “exactly. It’s too early for you to be messing around like that.”

I rolled my eyes. Seungri made it sound like Seunghyun had any other mode than moody. If he did, I definitely hadn’t seen it yet. _Unless, was cocky different than moody? It seemed like a sub-category with Seunghyun. Or at least, cocky always seemed to coincidence with moody. Still besides those two options…_

I heard my name coming out of Jiyong’s mouth.

“Sorry, what?”

“We’ll just have to hope the choices match up, right Luna?” He smiled at me, apparently finding amusement in my absent-mindedness.

“Uh, what… which choices?”

“That the person you end up liking also likes you,” Daesung elaborated. “You weren’t listening at all, huh?”

“Sorry,” I mumbled, “but… ai…”

“What?” Seunghyun interrupted, “do you not like any of us?”

“Ah…” I tried to gather my thoughts, “it’s just awkward to talk about it.”

“Seunghyun, stop. She doesn’t know you well enough to understand your jokes.”

I leaned over to whisper to Daesung, “he’s joking? I thought he hated me, or was just a jerk.”

Daesung burst out laughing, “no, not at all.”

The others shot us a look.

“I was just asking…”

“She thought Seunghyun was trying to scare her,” Daesung saved me, “trying to make her give up.”

“I told you to lighten up,” Jiyong muttered in Seunghyun’s direction.

* * *

After breakfast we all got bundled into two company cars and headed for whatever the challenge was. Somehow I ended up in a car between Seunghyun, and Seungri. I suspected that Jiyong had arranged that on purpose. Prank? Or was he just thinking of ratings? If it were for the ratings, he was going to be disappointed. The car was silent for most of the time.

“What sort of challenge do you think we’ll have?” I couldn’t stand the quiet any longer.

“Could be anything” Seungri shrugged, “could just be a fun thing, and not really a challenge at all.”

“Yeah,” Seunghyun picked up, “they might start us off easy. After all, we have at least one each week.” He looked down at me, “are you worried about it?”

I tried to shrink myself into the seat, “I just wish I knew what to expect.”

:You don’t like surprises?” Seunghyun was still watching me. It felt a little uncomfortable. _Did he ever blink?_

“I like some surprises. Depends on if I trust who is surprising me.”

“So it’s fine if I plan a surprise, right?” Seungri nudged me.

“Probably. You’ve been nice so far,” I smiled up at him.

“Seungri? Nice?” Seunghyun feigned shock, “how much alcohol did you give her?”

“We didn’t drink at all,” I grumped at him.

“No alcohol, and you still think Seungri is nice?”

“Yah! I am nice!”

* * *

I was grateful when we finally arrived at the shooting area. I couldn’t get out of that car soon enough. As soon as I was out, I headed for Jiyong.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“I thought you could use the time to settle some differences.”

I just gave him an unamused look and shook my head.

* * *

Once inside, we were introduced to a director whose name I immediately forgot. She set to explaining what was going on.

“We set up a little activity for all of you today. We did some snooping and realised that Luna here used to do some performing in America.”

I shut my eyes, cursing the internet for making my past inescapable.

“LUNA!” Seungri shouted excitedly, “why didn’t you tell me?! That’s amazing!”

“Ahh, I should have known you were faking being nervous at the norraebang,” Jiyong complained.  


“Ah, it was just some fun with one of my friends,” I shook my hands in protest. “It was like a joke for his band. He… He would dress as a girl and I would dress as a man.”

“Really?”

“It was just a joke because my voice is deeper than his. We would sing, uh, duets and I’d always do the man’s part.”

“We also found some videos she did for her friends’ video production classes,” the team leader explained further. “So we’re doing some costume video shoots today. After that, you guys are free to go. So let’s get started.”

* * *

Everyone was ushered to dressing rooms. I was separated from the boys, obviously, but it made me nervous for some reason. The small team that was helping me was really nice, but I was entirely out of my element. They explained everything as they went along.

“We’ll do some contouring here and here and here.”

“We’ll have to wrap you up!”

It was easy to just let them do their thing. Until the cordi-unnie pulled out ace bandages for wrapping my chest.

“Oh… Um… I can’t use those.”

I was given a _just let me do my job_ look.

“No, see, those can cause a lot of problems. May I look through the clothing?”

“I know what I’m doing.”

I shrank back a little, but I knew all too well the issues at hand.

“I know, but I’ve been injured by that method before. Can I just check in the clothes to see if I can come up with something?”

She seemed a little annoyed, rolling her eyes, but relented.

“Fine, go look.”

As I flipped through tank tops the makeup artist approached me.

“You’ve worn beards before?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Good, good. I don’t think we’ll do anything too over the top,” he had a little plastic tray with loose fibres and a bottle of adhesive, “we’ve got some colour options. I think the number three brown with some of the reddish highlights would work well.”

I nodded, finally finding some tank tops that were tight enough.

“Are you going to build it, or is there a lace base?”

We continued our discussion through a cloth divider as I changed into the too small shirts. I felt comfortable with the makeup artist. It was a topic I actually had some knowledge about, so the conversation flowed easily.

The cordi-unnie wasn’t prepared for so much binding, so I ended up having to relent on the bandages. I felt better with using the shirts as a base though. After being bound up I stood and stretched my arms and back, making sure it wasn’t too restrictive. I didn’t know how long I was going to be bound up, so I wanted to make sure it was liveable.

After a quick application of light scruff (just enough to make me look vaguely criminal), makeup, and an outfit that made me think of British punk bands, I was ushered out of the dressing room. The boys, sans Jiyong, were in the open waiting area between the two.

* * *

Daesung yelled in the direction of the boys’ dressing room, “Jiyong, our new member is here! He looks like a real wolf!”

I resisted rubbing my face with my hands, not wanting to mess up the carefully constructed unshaven look.

“Daesung~…” I whined.

“It’s true,” Taeyang patted me on the back, “I wouldn’t let my sister date you.”

Seunghyun gave me a critical look, then turned towards Seungri.

“What do you think? Still pretty?”

“Hyung…” Seungri started. He was interrupted by Jiyong’s entrance though.

I had to admit that Jiyong made a pretty woman.

Of course Seunghyun had to make the first comment, “isn’t that a little too innocent?”

“Of course I’m innocent,” Jiyong struck an s-line pose as he said it. Affecting an exaggerated giggle, he skipped up to me.

“Oppa~! Does it hurt to breathe?”

“Uh, not really.”

It was strange hearing him switch between his female and male voices in mid-sentence.

Daesung raised an eyebrow, “really? It must be,” he gestured his hands around a little bit before coming up with… “tight.”

“Guys…” Taeyang had his face in his hand at this point.

Seungri was looking back and forth between me and Jiyong.

“Luna, you look like you’ll corrupt Jiyong.”

Jiyong started acting as if he were scared of me, hiding behind Seungri.

“Please be nice to me oppa.”

I cringed. Luckily the antics were cut short by the director.

“You two ready? Very good.”

Oh, no, I was wrong. Jiyong grabbed onto the director’s arm, looking panicked.

“Do I have to work with him? Oppa is scary!”

This got a few laughs from some of the others. For the first time, Seunghyun and I seemed to agree on something: that Jiyong wasn’t as funny as he thought he was.

“I see Jiyong has created a character already,” the director tried to get us back on task, “Luna, what about you?”

“Um… what exactly are we doing?”

“Improvised skits. Just choose a character type and do what they would do.”

“Okay,” I glanced at Jiyong. He pretended to cower again. “I guess I’m a bad boy type then.”

“Perfect, let’s get you two in front of the camera.”

* * *

The director showed us to a studio that had a motorcycle and an old Mustang in it. A green backdrop was behind them so that the background could be put in later. We started off with a few still-shots just so that I could settle into the more formalised set-up of camera, set, actor before I had to do any actual acting.

“Alright, Luna, in the car. Jiyong, try leaning against the front end,” We got into our places, “good. Luna, your supposed to be the tough guy checking out the pretty woman. Okay guys? Let’s go. Just get into your parts and we’ll do video and photos.”

I tried to conjure up my memories of watching over the top dramas.

“Miss, hey, miss!”

“Me?” Jiyong gave me a surprised look.

“Yeah… Uh…” I drew a blank, “ _get_ _out my dreams and get into my car!_ “

I was sure the joke would flop, but I heard a snort and saw Daesung buckle over out of the corner of my eye.

“What? What’s so funny?” Jiyong gave me a blank look.

“Jiyong,” the director interrupted, “get it together. Luna, maybe stick to Korean.”

“Sorry.”

I shook my hands, trying to release some of my nervous energy before starting again.

“Miss, hey, come here.”

“What? Me?” Jiyong put on his best innocent face.

“What are you doing out so late?” I tried to look as much like a cocky jerk as I could.

“I’m just walking home,” Jiyong turned away from me, acting as if he were trying to walk away.

I gripped the edge of the car tightly and hauled myself out of the open window.

“It’s not safe for…”

“Luna,” the director again, “can we redo the window exit a few times? Do the line as well.”

I slid in and out of the window for an extra five minutes while the videographer tried to get the shot. Various shots of me in various stages of egress. By the time we were able to move on my arms were sore.

“Alright, I think we got it. Start from you being all the way outside the car, Luna.”

Thank god.

“You never know who you might meet at this time of night,” I advanced on Jiyong, “pretty girl, this part of town…”

“Confidence, Luna.”

_Fine_. I grabbed Jiyong by his waist, pinning him against the car.

“You should let me give you a ride.”

“Whoa! Oppa…” Jiyong put his hand on my chest, as if he were pushing me away. I heard an annoyed sounding shuffle off the side of the stage.

I took Jiyong’s hand by the wrist, leaning in closer.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oppa…” Jiyong’s voice warbled weakly, “please let me go.”

I let go of him, but stayed standing closely, not really offering a chance of escape.

“Why? You don’t like me?” I took a half a step back, “I’m not manly enough for you?”

Jiyong giggled, slappin my arm playfully.

“You scared me oppa~~! You’re too real.”

Okay, apparently our characters were in a thing? Role playing couple?

“Anything for my jagi,” I leaned down towards him.

“Oppa~~!” Jiyong hugged me, “don’t be so scary next time.”

“I’m sorry baby,” I patted his wig gently, trying not to dislodge it, “come on, let’s get you home.”

“I think that’s good for now. Get changed you two!”

I ducked my head down to whisper to Jiyong.

“Too much?”

“Probably too little,” Jiyong shook his head.

My next costume was relatively easy. A quick switch of shirts, some artistically done hair mess, and I was pretty much done.

* * *

“Aigo! Seungri was so jealous of that shot!” The makeup artist said as he re-did my eyebrows, “what did you whisper to Jiyong?

“I asked him if my acting was too  much.”

The cordi laughed a little, “let’s hope that’s what Jiyong tells Seungri.”

“What? Why wouldn’t he?”

“They’re always trying to rile each other up,” The makeup artist pointed out.

The cordi nodded in agreement, “I’d be the same if I was cooped up as much as them.”

I thought this over in silence. Hopefully Jiyong wouldn’t do anything like that.

* * *

When I came out this time I was greeted by a grumpy, be-skirted Seungri. Taeyang turned to me, gesturing towards Seungri as he spoke.

“No innocence on this one.”

“He looks like an angry girlfriend,” Daesung teased.

Jiyong smirked, “maybe we have a troubled couple.”

I gave them a stern look, but didn’t say anything.

“Let’s just do this,” Seungri finally said.

The director approached us, considering us.

“I think the motorcycle for this one.”

* * *

I walked over to the bike and got on it, one leg on the ground. Seungri crossed his arms and pouted.

“Aren’t you going to offer me a ride, oppa?”

“You already know that you’re invited.”

“You should still offer,” he turned to face away from me. He was the picture of an annoyed girlfriend. “It’s the polite way to treat your girlfriend.”

I dismounted from the bike, stepping towards him.

“Yah, are you really angry? I’m sorry yeobo.”

“You should treat me better,” he hunched his shoulders slightly.

I put my hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry.”

He stiffened up when I pulled him into a back hug, but then turned in my arms and hit my shoulder lightly.

“Don’t be so mean to me oppa!”

I smiled at him, tightening my arms around him.

“I’m sorry jagi.”

“Maybe I can forgive you,” Seungri pouted at me.

I reached up and pushed a few strands from the wig back from his face, “only maybe?”

“I’m not convinced I should,” he wriggled his way out of my arms.

I reached out and pulled him back to face me.

“Yah, why are you so angry? Is it because I’m leaving for military service?”

Seungri looped his arms around my neck, hanging his head against my shoulder.

“I’m not going to cry.”

Pulling back, I lifted his face to make eye contact.

“You know that I’ll be back, right? For you jagi.”

“Promise? How can I be sure?”

I stepped out of his arms, turning and running my hands through my hair.

“Aish!” I turned to face him again, “why don’t you ever trust me?” I stepped up and pulled him back into a tight hug. “Why are you being like this?”

“Because he liiiikes you!” Daesung jeered from where the others were waiting. The boys started laughing, earning a glare from Seungri.

“I think that’s enough for now,” the director tried to regain control of the situation, “who’s next?”

“Daesung should go next,” Seunghyun suggested, “since he’s so eager to talk.”

“Alright, go change you two.”

* * *

The cordi quickly handed me a blue outfit. I pulled it on and she started adjusting the fit with pins in the back. As soon as I was done the makeup artist started on my face.

“Here, this is going to feel weird.”

He swiped something over my eyelid, then pulled on them and held them in place.

“What are you doing?”

“Changing your lids.”

“What?”

He didn’t respond. After a minute he let go and gestured towards the mirror. My double eyelid was gone, replaced by a monolid. I blinked.

“Try not to do that too much,” he started cleaning and reapplying my brows, “it will wear off after a while.”

“Um… okay. Why did you…”

The cordi explained.

“You’re basically dressing up as the guys from different music videos. For this one…” she paused, thinking back, “wasn’t Daesung chained to a wall at some point?” She asked the makeup artist.

“Yes, but I doubt they’ll make her do that. He was also shirtless.”

“Yeah, we can’t really do that.”

The makeup artist stood back and looked me over, then nodded.

“All set,” he started cleaning his brushes, “director wants you in studio two this time.”

* * *

The second studio was dirty. Or, rather, artistically dishevelled. Jersey barriers, chain link fences, random concrete walls covered in graffiti, sand all over the floor. I found Daesung quickly. He was wearing a short bob style wig, and so far was the only “girl” to wear pants.

His eyes widened when he saw me.

“Wow! How did they do your eyes like that?”

“Glue, I guess,” I slowly closed and opened my eyes, “they told me not to blink too much.”

Jiyong approached, lifting a hand to pull my face in his direction.

“Huh… you look like someone my grandmother would approve of.”

“What?” I twitched out of his hand. Taeyang laughed.

“He means you actually look Korean now.”

I was about to say something but paused to think better of it. I settled for a statement of fact.

“I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not.”

Seungri approached, pulling his shirt back on. My stomach lurched slightly at the sight of his abs, and his boxers peeking up out of his pants. _Jeez, what am I? Sixteen? Relax, relax, it’s not… I mean I saw Seunghyun entirely…_

“Trying to appeal to Daesung?”

_Think of the devil_. I tilted my head.

“He only likes Korean girls,” Seunghyun explained.

“Oh… it was the makeup artist’s choice.”

Seunghyun stepped closer, mimicking Jiyong’s previous move of pulling my face to examine it. He turned my head this way and that before dropping it.

“You looked better before,” with that, he walked off towards the service table.

I raised my hands, gesturing my confusion.

“Okay, I can’t tell if **that** was supposed to be an insult or a compliment.”

“Neither does he, probably,” Jiyong shrugged. He then nudged me slightly.  


“Yah, hyung,” I rolled my eyes at his cheesy joke. He gestured away from the others. We stepped away just enough to speak somewhat privately.

“So,” he crossed his arms, looking expectant, “how was it last night? You seemed a little flustered when you saw him come out.”

I raised my hand, but remembered the hair style and stopped myself from messing it up.

“Ah, it’s not like that.”

“You’re blushing,” he leaned forward, wiggling his shoulders.

“He just… It’s dumb,” I shook my head.

The conversation was cut short by the director.

“Alright, is everyone ready? Characters?”

I exchanged a look with Daesung.

“What do you think?”

“Survivors? End of the world?”

I leaned against a Jersey barrier. It shifted slightly under me. _Huh. Plywood instead of concrete. Probably easier to move._

“I can do that,” I gestured for Daesung to come closer.

He sat next to me, leaning his head on my shoulder.

“It’s so quiet oppa.”

For some reason I felt like my character should be a little cold.

“Not a lot of people left to make noise I guess,” I shrugged, not looking at Daesung.

I felt his hand wind into mine.

“We’re here though. That’s pretty good, right?”

I turned to look at him. He was looking up at me with his eyes wide open. I laughed softly, lifting my free hand to run a thumb over his cheek.

“I guess that’s alright.”

The director must have noticed that we had hit a narrative wall. She called a cut and came up to us.

“That was great, but we need something more…” she wound her hands through the air.

“We need it go somewhere,” she finished after a second of thought.

Daesung and I looked at each other. He shrugged.

“Well, the staff said that he was chained to a wall at some point…”

“Yes?” The director nodded encouragingly.

“I just thought, maybe that’s a sign of a monster, you know? So maybe I’m a monster?” I felt like I was stepping on someone’s toes. Even though we were supposed to be improvising, I wasn’t really comfortable with being the only person saying ideas.

“Ooh! How about a vampire type thing?” Daesung suggested, excitedly tugging on my arm.

“Sounds fine. We just need it to be a little longer,” the director nodded, heading back off the set.

“Let’s start from the beginning, okay?”

Daesung and I leaned on the barrier again. He resumed his hold on my arm, leaning against my shoulder.

“It’s so quiet oppa.”

“There’s not a lot of people left to make noise.”

This time when Daesung suggested that us being left was good, I stood up, wrenching my arm out of his grip.

“Don’t you understand?”

Daesung looked at me, but didn’t say anything.

“You’ll be dead in just a little while. My kind,” I grabbed him by the throat, “we’ll tear you apart by the end of the month.”

“Op… pa…”

I was quiet for a minute, stuck in Daesung’s silence. Daesung was good at acting like I was really choking him, even though my hand was barely even on his neck.

“I need to hide you. I need to…”

I moved closer to him, leaning in towards his neck.

“I need…” I dropped my hand from his throat.

“It’s okay oppa, if you need it.”

I backed him into the barrier and wrapped one hand behind his back. Conscious of the camera, I tilted my head to block the view of his neck so that I could “bite” him. Daesung let out a comedic, wavering gasp. Trying not to laugh, I whispered.

“A bit awkward, huh?”

The director called a cut. She seemed annoyed.

“What’s going on?” She crossed her arms, “you two seem to get along fine. So why isn’t this working?”

I didn’t have an answer. I had no idea what to say.

“I’m sorry. I think I’m just very tired today,” Daesung explained, “my brain just can’t come up with anything more to add.”

The director nodded, and sighed.

“I guess this will have to do the trick then. You guys can go change.”

She walked away, looking like she was on a mission.

“Are you really tired?” I quietly asked Daesung.

“Hmm? Oh, no. Not really,” he shook his head. He did seem a little distracted though. He wandered off towards the dressing room staring at his phone.

* * *

I headed to my own dressing room, only to be stopped by Seungri.

“Yah, can I talk to you for a second?”

“I need to change.”

He clasped his hands in front of his chest and started begging with aegyo.

“Pwease? Just oooone second?”

I laughed and nodded.

“Fine, fine, come on.”

He followed me to the dressing room, but quickly pulled me behind the courtesy curtain before the staff could spot us.

“Seungri, what-”

He lightly pressed three fingers against my lips. He peeked around the curtain to see if we had been heard.

“Shh… Just…” He turned back to me. He seemed nervous.

“Was last night okay?”

“Yeah,” I tilted my head, “I told you last night it was.”

He shook his head. He seemed frustrated.

“No, I mean… was it okay that I kissed you?”

I made a face at him, chewing the inside of my lip.

“You didn’t really kiss me.”

There was a beat of silence. I was suddenly acutely aware that there weren’t any cameras around. Then I was aware that Seungri was stepping forward, backing me towards the wall. Sirens in my mind were going off.

_Wait a minute, wait a minute, no cameras. Why is he acting like this? He doesn’t have to be acting right now. Why is his hand on my face? What is going…_

His lips met mine. I could feel the remnants of lipstick on his lips. Being too surprised to close my eyes, I noticed that his eyeshadow was smudged.

His other hand found its way to my waist. My own hands settled on his collar as I let my eyes shut.

Just as quickly as he had started kissing me, he stopped. He seemed nervous now. He definitely looked like he didn’t know what to do with his hands. Raising one to his mouth, he coughed awkwardly.

“Uh, so, how about now?”

_Haha. Wow. Okay. What?_

“That’s… fine. It’s fine. It’s okay. Uh… I should change though so…”

He nodded, backing out from behind the curtain, then from the room.

“Right, of course, yes. I’ll just go and… uh… I’ll go.”

* * *

The staff chatted, but I couldn’t really join in. My mind was in self-doubt overdrive.

_He didn’t say that he liked me. Maybe it was just a jealousy triggered thing._ I could see that Seungri needed to feel important, and he had been watching me touch and get close to Jiyong and Daesung. _Was it a manipulation?_ Everyone knows that kissing releases serotonin and dopamine which then makes your brain go “oh, I think I love this person” so maybe he just wanted me to want him?

Or maybe he likes me but is bad at talking? Could I handle dating another person who can’t communicate well? It takes a lot of effort, and that effort always ends up feeling non-reciprocated. And then that feeling ends up making me feel worthless.

_And that’s a spiral I don’t want to go down again._

I sighed, looking at myself getting adjusted in the mirror. This show was going to be really difficult. I hated how passive I was being, but everything about the situation scared me. When the cameras were around, that was scary. When the cameras weren’t around, that was terrifying. The fact that these boys were known globally was horrific. The idea that I might mess something up and be seen, not only as a jerk myself, but as further proof that Americans in general are jerks… I just wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

“Stop that.”

I lifted my eyes to the makeup artist.

“Huh?”

“Whatever you’re thinking of. It’s making you bite your cheeks.”

“Oh,” I relaxed my face, “sorry.”

I was herded behind the courtesy curtain, quickly changing. Still distracted, all I really noticed was a bunch of white.

* * *

Rejoining the others in the area between dressing rooms, I was a little too conscious of Seungri blushing and looking away.

For a second I got angry. Why would he do that right before I had to do another scene? That seemed selfish, inconsiderate.

_Relax Luna. Yes, maybe inconsiderate, but it’s not like he was actively trying to sabotage me._

Jiyong came and adjusted my shirt collar. Looking down I saw that I was in a white button up and cream slacks. I’m sure it might look good on someone, but not me.

“You look angry.”

I looked up, meeting Jiyong’s eyes.

“Just tired.”

He smirked, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Liar. Go find your girl.”

I looked around, spotting Taeyang wearing a flowing white summer dress. They had put him in tights, but his leg hair was poking through in places. At least I didn’t have to deal with Seunghyun right after Seungri’s stunt.

“Do I have to call you oppa?”

“Yes, if I had to then you do,” Jiyong interrupted.

“I’m telling you right now that I am not going to do that,” Seunghyun announced.

“Alright,” I honestly hadn’t expected him to.

“Okay, but Taeyangie is so short, he has to call her oppa,” Jiyong pointed out.

I just shrugged, feeling once again a little too passive, but still also feeling the value in conflict avoidance.

The director interrupted any blooming arguments.

“All right guys, let’s get this goig. On set.”

Taeyang and I moved towards where the car was.

“Do you know how to dance?”

I tilted my head, wondering where this was going to go.

“Uh… I’m not… I took salsa lessons when I was about twelve.”

Taeyang simply nodded. The director started directing.

“All right,” she started, “since you two apparently haven’t made up characters, do we have any suggestions?”

“A break-up,” Seungri muttered.

“And they decide to try again,” Seunghyun added.

Jiyong nudged the both of them before making his suggestion.

“A younger girl that has a crush on her good oppa friend?”

The director nodded, leaning down to support herself against a work table.

“Sounds good. Taeyang, you like this oppa, and you want to impress him in some way. Luna, you must be reluctant at first but eventually give in.”

We both nodded. Through a silent communication of head nods, I settled into the car once again. Taeyang walked a little way away, then gestured to the director that we were about to start.

“Oppa~~!” He hurried towards the car. “You came!”

“Yah,” I frowned at him, “I might be oppa but what’s with that tone?”

“Mmm,” Taeyang bent forward slightly, speaking to me through the open window of the car.

“Then should I call you ajussi?”

I clicked my tongue and looked away, annoyed.

“Just tell me what you want,” I flipped the sun-visor down, checking my hair in the mirror.

“And get in already.”

Taeyang cirlced the car and slid into the passenger seat. He pouted at me cutely.

“Oppa~~~… We should get something to eat.”

I flipped the visor up and feigned starting the car.

“Why would I do that? Jeez, you’re so annoying.”

“I think you like driving me home. Besides,” he leaned over the centre console to poke my arm, “it will be like a date.”

“That’s what you call a date? Eating together?”

“Of course.”

He sat back in his seat and checked his makeup in his own visor mirror.

“Especially if the guy pays.”

I shook my head.

“Annoying and dumb.”

“If I’m so annoying then why do you always give me a ride home? I could always take the bus.”

“Don’t be stupid. I give you a ride so that your mother doesn’t have to worry.”

Taeyang scoffed, flipping his wig over his shoulder.

“I’m a grown up…”

“Barely.”

“The bus is fine.”

“Not for a girl like you.”

He leaned over the console again, making a smug face.

“What does that mean? A girl like me? Why isn’t the bus fine for a girl like me?”

I shook my head at him dismissively.

“Oppa~~… Why can’t I ride the bus?”

“Pretty girls shouldn’t ride the bus alone.”

There was a beat of silence, then…

“You think I’m pretty?”

I held a serious look on my face for as long as possible before I burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I can do this.”

“Actually,” the director interrupted my apologies, “I think that will work out fine. We don’t need them to be that long.”

* * *

Everyone quickly dispersed. I was hurried back to the dressing room. As soon as I entered, the makeup artist handed me my phone.

“Someone kept trying to call you.”

I unlocked my phone and pulled my notifications.

“Really? Everyone who calls me is here though…”

A mix of English and Korean caught my eye. _Watsapp._ Opening the app I was confronted with a flurry of messages and missed calls from one of my cousins.

“Ah, uh, can we…”

The makeup artist was walking out of the room before I could finish.

“Go ahead. It seemed urgent by the number of alerts. I’ll tell them that we need to take a break.”

I bowed my thanks to him and immediately called Eddy back.

He answered nearly instantly.

_“Luna? Oh my god. You won’t believe this. Did you read my messages?”_

_“No. What’s up? Is something wrong?”_

_“Nothing. It’s not bad. I just… Oh my god. I can’t believe this.”_

There seemed to be some sort of commotion on his end. I could hear people and really loud music. I checked my watch and did a quick mental calculation.

_“Eddy… isn’t it almost 4am there?”_

_“Yeah, they’re closing soon. But listen,”_ the sounds got quieter behind him, _“I think I just got signed.”_

_“Signed?”_

_“To a label! Nothing is official yet, but I had my third meet up after my set tonight. This guy from…”_

I paced back and forth across the dressing room floor. Eddy was nearly rambling, leaving just enough space in the conversation for me to squeeze in some versions of _“oh my god”_ and _“seriously?”_

As he spoke, there was a soft knock on the door. I opened it a crack and saw Jiyong standing there looking concerned. I waved him in, gesturing to the phone. He nodded and splayed out on one of the chairs, pulling his own phone out while he waited.

_“So I’ll have enough money to come visit Korea soon.”_

_“That’s great! When are…_ Wait… What? Why?”

Eddy made an annoyed sound.

_“You can’t just start speaking Korean on me like that.”_

I shook my head, trying to get my primary and my first languages untangled.

_“Sorry. Sorry. Why are you coming here?”_

That made Jiyong look up.

_“You’ve been bugging me to come visit for years. As soon as the advance comes in, I can come see what the big deal is.”_

I glanced at Jiyong. He was giving me an inquisitive look. I grimaced and turned to face away from him.

_“When?”_

_“In a month or two? I don’t know. Listen, Kelly’s waiting, I gotta get going. I’ll email you.”_

_“Okay. Uh, I’ll talk to you later.”_

I put my phone down on the table, chewing my lip in thought.

“Who was that?”

Jiyong had stood up behind me, watching me in the mirror.

“Huh? Oh,” I turned to face him, “my cousin. What do you want?”

He looked a little surprised, but recovered quickly.

“Two things. I wanted to warn you that Seunghyung might go a little over the top.”

I tilted my head. That sounded… ominous.

“Okay… and the second thing?”

He tilted his head, watching me through the mirror.

“Tell me about your date last night.”

_Nope. No._

“Can we talk about this later?”

“You keep saying that. Something happened, didn’t it?”

“Ah,” I busied myself with straightening out all the makeup lining the counter, “just wait until Sunday. I’m sure it will make the cut.”

“It won’t air on Sunday.”

Looking up, I met his reflected gaze again.

“What? When will it air?”

“In about a month.”

“I thought it was airing every week.”

Jiyong smiled and sat back down in the chair, crossing his legs.

“It will, next month.”

“Then what was that on Sunday?”

“Teaser episode.”

“An entire episode was a teaser?”

“It’s apparently the new thing. I don’t know,” he shrugged, “I’m not a marketing director. Now stop stalling and tell me if he kissed you last night.”

I looked down, trying to avoid looking at… well… anything.

“Why would you think that?”

“He’s been overprotective all day. Something happened, right?”

Sitting in the makeup chair, I started spinning back and forth.

“It was just on the cheek.”

“That’s all?”

“Last night that’s all.”

Looking up, Jiyong seemed a little startled.

“Then… What’s going on between you two?”

Bringing the chair to a standstill I squinted at him. All of these men were attractive, in their own ways. They seemed pretty close with each other as well. If I shared gossip with one, how quickly would it spread? How would each of them react? Would it limit my options? Or would it make things simpler? If even one of them was turned off by the idea of me having been kissed by their friend, that might create a week where I had less to do.

My mind flashed to Taeyang. If anyone was going to be judgemental, it would probably be him. I already wasn’t exactly his biggest fan, thanks to the gym confrontation. Maybe widening the gap wouldn’t be a bad thing?

“It’s not a hard question,” Jiyong’s voice dragged me out of my evaluation. “It’s not like I’m going to start spreading it around either,” he stood, picking up a pot of eyeshadow. “I want to know what the competition is like. I’m not about to tip off the others though.”

_Who knows how honest this kid is though?_

“He kissed me on the cheek last night, in front of my room. It was cute. Plus,” I shrugged, trying to play it cool, “it will play well with audiences, right? Cute, mostly innocent. Good choice, right?”

Jiyong nodded slowly, mulling it over.

“It’s still risky. Especially since he has the first week. He needs to play innocent.”

“Why’s that?”

He sighed, then laughed a little.

“Just search him online. ‘Seungri scandal’ should turn up some interesting results.”

“It can’t be that bad,” I gave a good natured scoff, “everything is a scandal when you’re an idol.”

His body language was evasive, so I decided not to press the matter.

“What about not last night?” He set the eyeshadow down and fixed me with a direct stare.

“Hmm?”

“You said that’s all it was last night. So did something happen not last night? Today?”

_Shit. Fuck. Why did I say it like that? What the shit._ _I tried to lie._

“Oh, I just meant that that was all that happened.”

Jiyong didn’t look convinced.

“I’m not convinced.”

_Nailed it._

“You’re about to tear your own nails out from nerves. What happened?”

I quickly shoved my hands into my pockets to stop myself from fidgeting.

“It was… It was nothing. Just… nothing,” I shrugged, “it doesn’t matter.”

He eyed me suspiciously.

“He kissed you. When was it? Between shots? Before or after Daesung’s?”

My face felt like it was on fire.

“After,” I mumbled, staring directly into the eyelets on my shoes.

I could faintly make out Jiyong nodding in my peripheral vision.

“Okay,” he didn’t sound like he thought it was okay, “that’s fine.”

He entered my line of sight a little more solidly, getting closer to me, setting his hands against the arm rests of my chair. Lifting my head, I got caught in his stare.

“Are you okay with it?”

_Why wasn’t he blinking?_

“Uh, yeah. I guess. I mean…” I dropped my eyeline again, “it’s not like he was mean with it or anything. I was surprised, but it was fine.”

Jiyong dipped his head slightly, catching my line of sight again. Still without blinking he stared me down for a minute before speaking up again.

“Is he your choice?”

“It’s too early for me to know that.”

Quickly, I tried to latch onto something else Jiyong had said, “what were you saying about Seunghyun?”

He finally blinked. Standing up straight, he stared into the mirror. He fixed his hair a little bit before answering me.

“Seunghyun likes to play games. You already know that.”

Satisfied with his hair, he started straightening out his sleeves and cuffs. It seemed like a purposeful display, but I couldn’t work out why he might be doing it.

“So what do you think he’s going to do?”

“I don’t know, but he asked Taeyang to distract Seungri,” he kept his eyes off of me, still looking himself over in the mirror, “it can’t be anything good.”

That wasn’t much for me to work with. It seemed that it was all I was going to get though. Jiyong sat back down, pulling his phone out again.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I turned towards the exit and saw Chul there, camera in hand.

“Aish! Oh my god! I didn’t… How am I already this used to having cameras around?”

Jiyong snorted from his seat, Chul gave me a smile. I shook myself out a bit and left the room.

* * *

The director called me over as soon as she spotted me. Placing me in front of a monitor she played through some of the shots. It was painful and awkward to watch. She kept up a running commentary, pointing out little things here and there.

“Now that you’re going to be in the public eye, you have to keep these kinds of things in mind. Even for those cameras,” she nodded towards Chul and another camera operator.

Eventually she was pulled away by Seunghyun. I stood up, intent on getting some information on what he was planning, but found my elbow being tugged on by the cordi.

“Come on, we should get you ready.”

* * *

Jiyong politely let himself out when I returned to the dressing room with the makeup artist and cordi in tow.

I closed my eyes and let the swabbing and blending act as a facial massage. I tried to relax as much as I could.

There was a knock followed low voices behind me. Tuning them out, I kept my eyes closed as my hair was combed out and restyled. I stretched my arms out, humming and trying to enjoy the moment of getting my hair played with. The voices quietly disappeared after a moment.

I was pulled into the dressing area again, and bundled up with an under-shirt, a shirt, a sweatshirt, and a jacket over it.

“Why so many layers?”

“Trust me,” the cordi answered, “you’ll be glad for them.”

* * *

I walked out of the dressing room, pulling at the sweatshirt. I fanned it away from my body, already overheating as I read through the messages that Eddy had sent me earlier.

“You alright?”

I looked up at Daesung.

“Yeah, I guess. They gave me a lot of layers.”

“Don’t worry. It will just be for a minute,” the director approached us, “Seunghyun had an idea about the scene. There will be a little bit of rain in the beginning.”

_Rain. Rain?_ I caught a glimpse of Jiyong standing in the hallway. What was this mysterious plan that needed rain?

“Come on, we’ll be in studio five.”

I nudged Daesung as we walked towards the studio.

“What’s in the number five?”

He just shrugged.

* * *

There was an fake apartment. The back wall was the entry, there was a living room without a wall, and a kitchen with only three walls attached to it. The only “closed” space was the bathroom, but I was shown that there was a hidden camera in the mirror and behind the “window” at the back. A staff member helped me get acquainted with the set while we waited on Seunghyun.

He was taking his sweet time. I ended up pulling my phone out again as I stood in front of a fan, trying to stay cool.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ** **Sorry. I should have cleared it with you first.**

The message was from earlier, but I hadn’t had my phone on me when he sent it.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  ** _ _**It’s fine.** _
> 
> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  ** _ _**Well… not really actually. But there are worse things.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ** **I could delete it from his phone if you want.**

I laughed a little at that. I pursed my lips and decided to joke around with him a little.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  ** _ _**The least you could have done is give it to someone cute. Like Jinwoo or Taehyun.** _
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  -_-**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  I’m hurt.**

I was smiling, being the jerk that I am. I started typing a message, but was interrupted by a weight on my shoulder. I accidentally hit send.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  Don’t be lik** _

“Jesus Christ!”

Jiyong laughed as I jumped and turned to face him. Clutching my chest, I swatted at him.

“You’re hogging the fan.”

“I’m wearing four shirts. I deserve the fan.”

I noticed a giggling Daesung with his phone out.

“Who are you texting?” Jiyong asked. I ignored him.

“Are you recording this?”

Daesung nodded, shooting me a bright smile. I threw my head back and groaned. I tried to slip my phone into the pants I had been put into, but Jiyong plucked it out of my hand. He cocked an eyebrow as he scrolled through the messages between Mino and I. I reached for my phone, but Jiyong just held an arm out towards me and stretched the phone away from me.

“Ah,” he shook his head, “you make friends so easily.”

He switched tactics, raising a knee to keep me at bay so that he could use both hands to tap at my phone. He hopped slightly to keep his balance as I tried to reach for my phone.

“You never know with these dongsaeng though. I should make sure he doesn’t get any ideas.”

“Ji-yah!”

Jiyong paused what he was doing, turning his head to look at me. There was a fox-like grin spreading across his face. I saw him tap the send button before he spoke.

“Ji-yah?”

Coming to a stand-still, I closed my eyes. There was a headache building behind my eyes.

“I’m sorry. I just… can I have my phone back now?”

I stood with a hand outstretched, my eyes still closed. I could hear Jiyong laugh. An unfamiliar weight landed in my hand, followed by tendrils of warmth wrapping around it.

“Don’t worry about it. It was cute.”

I could hear grease in his voice, so I just made a face, still hiding behind my eyelids.

“Look at me.”

I groaned and opened my eyes. I was greeted by Jiyong’s eyebrows. _That’s going to take some getting used to._

“What?”

“Ji-yah~?” He smiled even wider and wiggled his head slightly as he said it.

I craned my neck to look past him. _Thank goodness._ Daesung wasn’t filming any more. In fact, he was nowhere to be seen. I turned my attention back to Jiyong.

“I was just annoyed,” I pulled my hand out of his, “why are you like this?”

“Like what?”

Turning back to the fan, I held my sleeves up. I savoured the air inflating the sweatshirt for a moment before replying.

“You were all…” I wiggled my body as I thought, “sour before. Now you’re making jokes.”

“I decided that there’s no point in being upset.”

That made sense. It almost made too much sense.

“I thought you said you didn’t get jealous?”

“I-”

“Dongsaeng!”

_Well I guess Seunghyun is finally done getting dressed up._

* * *

__

Dressed up might have been an understatement. I didn’t know if it were a choice on his or the staff’s part, but he genuinely looked female. If I hadn’t been expecting him, and if he hadn’t had his signature scowl on his face, I wouldn’t have recognised him.

_Did he even shave his legs? No wonder it took him so long._

He stalked over to where Jiyong and I were standing.

“Nice skirt noona,” Jiyong smirked.

Seunghyun didn’t say anything, grabbing my hand and tugging me towards where some staff were setting up a kiddy pool. We were stripped of our mics and instructed to stand in the pool. I got a chance to really look him over while a woman on a step ladder doused him with a watering can.

He wore a pencil skirt that went to his knees. On top he had a, now slightly transparent, button up covered by a cardigan.

My observations were cut short by lukewarm water being sprinkled over me. Once we were both dampened enough, Seunghyun nodded towards the set.

“You go in first, through the entry. And remember, I’m still me.”

Unsure what that meant exactly I headed towards the door to the living room area. I paused, letting the director make sure everything was all set before giving me the go-ahead. I pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Seunghyun came in the door behind me, nudging me a little with his hands.

“The bathroom is through there. I’ll grab you a towel. Get that jacket off.”

Heading to the bathroom sectionof the set, I nodded.

“Okay noona.”

“You can hang your jacket up on the shower rod, I think I have sweat pants that might fit you too,” Seunghyun’s voice came from the bedroom area of the set.

Unbuttoning my coat, I called back to him.

“Thanks, but that’s not necessary.”

He burst through the door, holding a towel in his hand.

“Of course it is. Here, dry off, I’ll go find those pants.”

He disappeared through the door again. Toweling my hair dry I sighed.

“Aish… she could have knocked…”

I leaned in towards the mirror, patting the towel against my face. I was trying to remember exactly where the cameras were located and aimed when Seunghyun threw the door open again. He threw something soft at me.

“Here are the pants… I thought I told you to lose those ones?”

Off set I thought I heard a voice very much like Seungri’s swear. I froze. The director stepped in.

“The camera’s view only goes down to your navel. It’s fine.”

I heard laughter in what was definitely Jiyong’s voice. I waited for him to settle before starting again.

“Ah, yes, but…”

“What?” Seunghyun snapped.

“Could you turn around?”

Seunghyun clicked his tongue.

“When did boys get so shy?” He walked back into living room area, but left the door open.

“He must not be very impressive.”

I “acted” embarrassed and shut the door after him. I quickly switched out of the wet jeans and into what turned out to be a pair of very comfortable sweatpants.

When I walked back into the living room area I saw Daesung and Taeyang retreating, seemingly chasing after Seungri. Jiyong was standing with his hands clasped behind his back and watching the set with a blank expression.

“Thank you noona,” I mumbled, holding my pants in a bundle.

Seunghyun had been facing away from me, examining his makeup in a mirror above the TV. He quickly turned to face me

“Good. Now sit.”

_Bossy as always. He’s hardly even acting at this point._

“Okay,” I took a seat in an armchair.

“There,” he pointed to the sofa.

“Ah… okay…” I shuffled to the sofa and perched all the way on one end.

Seunghyun turned on the TV and tossed the remote to me.

“Here. I’ll hang your clothes on the dryer. I’ll need your sweatshirt too.”

“Oh, that’s alright,” I shrunk into myself a little, “thank you.”

Seunghyun gave me an unamused look.

“I can’t send you home in my clothes, and I won’t send you home in wet clothes. Hand it over.”

He held a hand out impatiently. I reached behind me, grabbing the back of the sweatshirt and pulled it over my head, trying not to mess up my makeup any more than it already was.

“Better give me the shirt too.”

I swallowed. That would leave me with only my under-shirt, and the smaller ones underneath that were serving as impromptu bindings.

I ran a hand through my hair, aiming to ruffle it up into a mess. Seunghyun just made a hurry up motion with his hand. Behind the camera I saw the director nod to me. I squinted, thinking it over.

Sighing, I reached back, pulled the top shirt off, and handed it to Seunghyun.

“How many shirts are you wearing?” He asked.

I mumbled a non-answer.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll go hang these up.”

He momentarily disappeared off set. I sat with my hands on my knees, looking around as if I was curious about the apartment. After about half a minute, Seunghyun walked back in. He had changed into pinky sweatpants and a t-shirt with kittens on it. I ruffled my hair again to hide my expression.

“There. Now,” he took a seat directly next to me on the sofa, and messed with the TV volume, “what should we watch?”

“Whatever you want is fine.”

“Good.”

He sat back, casually placing his hand on my knee. I jumped slightly and coughed.

“What’s wrong?” He kept his gaze on the TV.

“Uh… Um… Your hand…”

At that he turned to look at me, raising an eyebrow, “should I not touch you?” He reached over with his other hand and messed up my hair.

“Well… it’s just…” I squirmed back, into the armrest.

“Or should I touch you more?”

His hand trailed down from my hair, running a line over the edge on my ear and my neck.

I shot out of my seat and turned to face him.

“Noona! We… you…”

Seunghyun stood up, walking towards me.

“Don’t you like me?”

I stepped back, away from Seunghyun.

“I… uh… noona…”

Seunghyun finally trapped me against the wall next to the TV. He put a hand on the wall to either side of me.

“Do you really not like when your noona touches you?”

I was having so many mixed reactions. I was sure I was about to have a heart attack. My hands felt like ice to my and I could feel the sweat growing on the back of my neck. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that the entirety of the staff was there and I could easily just “mess up” the scene if I had to.

_Come on Luna. You’ve got a job to do here._

“Uh… I… I guess I don’t mind… I…”

Seunghyun put one hand under my shirt, on my stomach. He bent his other arm to lean against the wall with his forearm, closing up the space between us. I felt like every nerve in my body was on high alert. I could feel every slight movement that Seunghyun’s hand made against my skin. Whether they were intentional or not… well… that was a mystery to me.

“Good,” he started moving the hand on my stomach up and down my side, and leaned in so his lips were next to my ear, “would you like to touch me?”

I mumbled out a soft “noona…” before he leaned in, tilting his head to block the camera. I reached a hand up into his wig, gripping it but being careful not to dislodge it. Remembering that our genders were supposed to be switched, I wrapped my other hand over his hip.

“Cut. That was perfect! Daesung, you could learn from Seunghyun.”

In an instant, Seunghyun was across the set, pulling the kitten shirt over his head. My face felt hot, but my hands were still cold. Resolutely averting my eyes from Seunghyun’s back, I reminded myself that breathing was a thing that needed to happen.

“You can go change Luna.”

_Thank god._

* * *

__

Brushing past Daesung and Seungri, I barely held back from running for the dressing room. My first destination was the changing area behind the courtesy curtain. Once I got the too small shirts and bandages off I let out a satisfied groan. Holding my shirt over my chest, I leaned against the wall, savouring the freedom of not having my chest constricted.

Holding up my bra, I gave it an annoyed face. I was not looking forward to strapping my breasts into anything right now. Making whiny noises of complaint I started getting myself decent.

Just as I was tugging off the sweatpants that Seunghyun had given me, there was a light knock on the door, followed by Seungri’s voice.

“Luna?”

“Yeah?” I tugged my own shorts back on.

“Where are-”

_At least my zipper is done up._

That was the only thought in my mind as I looked up to see Seungri staring at me.

He looked shocked. Really shocked. _Why does he look so shocked? He works with models and dancers and shit… oh my god I must be gross right now. I’m all sweaty from that scene and I had that huge breakfast and my makeup is…_

“That’s a lot of ink.” Seungri was staring at the octopus the was wrapped around my ribs.

_Oh._  I was thankful that that was what he decided to comment on.

“Seungri?”

He looked up at my face.

“Go,” I waved my hand at him, shooing him from behind the curtain.

“Oh! Right… uh… sorry. Sorry.”

He bowed his way back to the other side of the curtain, turning pink as he went.

I tugged my shirt on. After double checking that I was properly covered, I stepped from behind the curtain. Seungri was standing facing away from me, bouncing on his toes slightly and wiggling his fingertips against his sides. Digging my necklace and rings out of my pockets I walked up and nudged him.

“Hey.”

“Ah, uh, hey.”

I held up my necklace to him.

“Help me?”

He looked a little unsettled. Like I had thrown him off track. I picked up one of his hands and looped the necklace over his fingers. Turning around I held my hair up off of my neck.

After a second, his hands laced the necklace around my neck. He sighed as he worked the clasp.

“Did you enjoy yourself?”

_There it is._

“I feel like that’s not the question you actually want to ask. Thanks.”

I turned back to face him.

“Did you know? Did you know what he was planning?”

I rolled my eyes.

“How would I have known? We’re not exactly best friends.”

Seungri gave me a hard look, tilting his head.

“Maybe Jiyong told you.”

_Clever boy._

“Well, Jiyong told me that Seunghyun might go overboard, but he didn’t give me any details.”

“Okay, so you didn’t know. But you could have redirected the scene.”

I was getting annoyed by now.

“It was just acting,” I said flatly. I turned to the makeup counter to find some face wipes. I found myself stopped by Seungri’s hand on my wrist. I lifted an eyebrow at him, but he ignored it.

“I told you he was going to do something like this, didn’t I?”

“Seungri…”

“In Jiyong’s room. I told you that he would just keep going until he got a reaction.”

“Seungri…”

“So please, just act like it bothered you this time. Even if you liked having his hands on you, just pretend you didn’t. And with Jiyo-”

“Seungri!”

He stopped talking. I wrenched my arm out of his grip.

“What happened?”

His jaw flexed and tightened. I waited for him to speak up.

“Jiyong just pointed out that you were acting naturally. The way that he would expect you to. He said you probably weren’t even acting.”

“As if Jiyong knows me well enough to know what I’m capable of when it comes to anything, including acting.”

“I’m just saying that it looked bad.”

I ran my tongue over my teeth. I decided not to bite my tongue.

“The only person that looks bad right now is you.”

* * *

I was able to grab Jiyong and suggest that I ride with him and Seunghyun on the way back to the hotel. My hope was that I would be able to talk them out of joking around so much with Seungri. There was less than half a week left with him anyway. It can’t be that hard to relax for a few days, right?

“What did Seungri have to say?” Jiyong asked casually, staring out of the car window.

“If I tell you, what will you do with that information?”

He smiled, but didn’t look at me. Seunghyun laid his arm on the back of the seat, yawning. This was going nowhere.

“A little warning would have been nice.”

“I did warn you,” Jiyong replied drily.

“Hardly.”

“Warning you would have ruined your scene.”

I turned my head to stare at Seunghyun. _Bad choice_. He was staring back at me. _Great. Now I’m stuck in this staring match._

“Don’t you mean that it would have ruined your joke?”

Seunghyun looked smug. Actually, he looked more than smug. His face was the picture of a superiority complex.

“You were basically being screen tested.”

I rolled my eyes, effectively forfeiting the staring contest.

“What are you talking about?”

Seunghyun scoffed and turned to look out of his window. I stared ahead, regretting taking the middle seat. I tried to think of how to bring up my grievances again.

“What would you have done with more warning?” Jiyong interrupted my thoughts.

“I don’t know. I could have prepared better? I could have talked to Seungri. Aish… I didn’t know how possessive he would be in just a few days. I would have tried to discuss what sort of contact is and isn’t okay with Seunghyun.”

Jiyong had finally turned to face me. He cocked his head.

“Seungri’s possessive?”

“Yes!” I snapped, “and what you told him didn’t help!”

“What did he tell Seungri?” Seunghyun leaned forward, smiling slightly.

“That there was no way I could act that well.” I gave Jiyong a dark look.

“That I must have wanted you to touch me like that. I mean… this is his week. For all purposes I am his girlfriend for this week. What would you think if you were in his place?”

I felt Seunghyun lay a hand on my knee.

“I shouldn’t touch you?”

“So you were acting?”

I shook my knee, dislodging Seunghyun’s hand. Shooting him a dirty look I decided to answer Jiyong.

“You have no idea how well I can act Jiyong. No matter who had done that, I would have acted the same way.”

Seunghyun’s hand landed back on my knee.

“Would you stop it? It’s a bit much.”

The cocky bastard raised an eyebrow.

“This is a bit much?” He leaned in, lowering his voice slightly, “even after I felt those scars?”

Jiyong reached across me, removing Seunghyun’s hand and pushing him back.

“Leave her alone. We can joke with Seungri, but we don’t know her well enough for that yet.”

Seunghyun laughed, but relented, stretching his arms back over the back of the seat. I located one of the cameras that was attached to the dashboard of the car and gave it an annoyed look.

“You know,” Seunghyun turned to look out of the car window, “I’m usually joking.”

* * *

The rest of the ride was pretty quiet. I ended up leaning back against Seunghyun’s arm, eyes shut, wishing the ride was long enough that falling asleep would actually be worth anything. Jiyong mumbled that he had arranged to have the raw footage from the day sent to him. Seunghyun suggested we all watch it that night over dinner. I kept my eyes shut and said I didn’t know whether Seungri had made dinner plans or not. We arrived at the hotel in next to no time.

* * *

Stepping out of the car, I stretched. My arms were up and out when I felt a familiar weight land in one of my hands. Looking up, I saw that it was my phone. I had completely forgotten that Jiyong had still had my phone.

_My phone! What did he…_ I left my thought unfinished as I unlocked my phone and stared at what the messages to Mino.

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  ** _ _**Don’t be lik** _

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  ** _ _**Listen. There needs to be more space here.** _

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ** **Oh. Um… I can really delete your number from Seungyoon’s phone if it bothers you.**

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  ** _ _**That’s probably best. You all will just be a distraction from the filming.** _

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ** **I thought you liked having someone to talk to about it?**

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ** **I’m sorry if I’m being distraction though…**

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  ** _ _**You are.** _

Mino hadn’t responded after that. I spun on Jiyong, only to see that he had already gone inside the hotel. I stormed past an apologetic looking Seungri and into the lobby.

He was halfway across the room, making conversation with a staff member.

“Jiyong! What do you think you’re doing?!”

I didn’t care about the stares I elicited with my outburst. Jiyong’s jaw tightened slightly. He approached me, holding his hands out in a placating motion.

“ _Relax. I was just…”_

_Why is he speaking Engl… oh fuck that!_

“I will not relax! That is over the line!”

He looked sheepish, looking around at the staff and curious bystanders.

“ _Luna, please just calm down.”_

He stood in front of me, giving me a pleading look as he laid a hand on my shoulder.

“Why should I?”

I was still speaking a little louder than necessary. He had totally overstepped boundaries, and I was tired of just letting things happen.

“ _Can we please just talk about this upstairs?”_

“What’s wrong?”

Daesung was next to us, looking from an increasingly agitated Jiyong to me. I gestured at Jiyong angrily.

“This punk… this jerk… this…” I tried to think of something properly condescending to call Jiyong. “ **Child!** He texted Mino basically saying that we couldn’t be friends.”

“Okay… but that’s not really his-”

“From **my** phone!”

I waved the offending device in Daesung’s face before stalking towards the elevator. I heard Jiyong call after me, but he didn’t catch up to me. As the elevator doors shut, I saw him arguing with a restraining Daesung.

* * *

I dialled Mino’s number, hoping he would pick up. It wasn’t a very close friendship, but I wasn’t about to let Jiyong’s jealousy stall it. I heard the beep of a few messages coming into my inbox as I waited for… Mino to ignore the call, apparently. I hit redial and ignored the messages that I assumed were from Jiyong.

He ignored the call again.

Sighing, I tapped my phone against my teeth. It looked like I would have to try to do this through text. It would be better if I could just talk to him. I groaned. Texting about the situation would just sound like so much bullshit. I tried calling him again.

No answer. I chickened out when it got to his voicemail greeting and hung up.

I paced in the small space. All questions about how I was going to fix this aside, what the hell was Jiyong’s problem? _Was his jealousy that bad? Did he even think this through? What on earth was he expecting to happen when I got my phone back?_

I steeled myself and called Mino one more time. The elevator arrived at my floor while it was still ringing. He answered as I walked towards my room.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Mino? I am so sorry! Jiyong-”

“He called me. I know it wasn’t you.”

“Oh,” _I guess he wasn’t ignoring my calls then._

I fumbled with my key card. I didn’t know what to say. My sails were empty.

"Ah… I don’t suppose you need to hear I was going to say then,” I lamely stated.

“You can tell me anyway if you want.”

His voice sounded light, as if he was already willing to laugh off the situation. I kicked off my shoes and headed for the kitchen.

“Really? Great.”

I let go of my somewhat prepared rant as I got myself a glass of water and some ibuprofen. Walking to the bedroom, I closed out my monologue with a question.

“Look, this is probably awful timing but can I call you back?”

I shuffled through one of the bags Soo-ah had packed. I knew I had seen them somewhere.

“Mmm… When? My break is over pretty soon.”

_There they are!_ I took the box into the bathroom.

“How soon?”

“Why? Are you trying to make plans with me?”

I leaned against the bathroom counter and groaned.

“You should be… I don’t know… Shouldn’t you be resting or something? Recharging?”

He laughed. It sounded nice.

“Maybe. But rehearsal isn’t done.”

“Alright then. You go rehearse,” I sighed, “I’ll try to convince Seungri to take me to your show. Who else is performing anyway?”

“Isn’t it enough that I’m performing? I thought you were a fan.”

“I’m curious.”

“It will be a surprise then.”

_This fucking guy._

“Ugh, fine. Go rehearse.”

“Why do I feel like you’re just trying to get off the phone?”

“Because I am.”

“But I like talking to you.”

I rolled my eyes and bent over the sink in the bathroom. I whined into the phone.

“Mino-yah~ I have something I have to take care of.”

“Something more important than mending our friendship?”

“You want to be friends?”

“Of course.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“That means that we’ll speak comfortably and be honest, right?”

“If you feel comfortable doing that, yes.”

“Okay. I’ve got a blood stain to prevent so…”

I trailed off, wondering whether he would get my meaning or not.

He was quiet for a second. When he spoke up again, it sounded like he was a little further away from his phone.

“… I’ll text you about the show.”

“Cool. Bye.”

Five minutes later, I was confirming my start date in my tracker app and loading my purse with tampons and ibuprofen.

I had gotten lucky. The first cramp had been on the way back to the hotel. There wasn’t even a stain to deal with. _Sick._

* * *

__

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  I’m sorry.**

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  I shouldn’t have interfered.  
>  **

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  Can I come talk to you?  
>  **

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  I was jealous.** _  
> _

_Called it._ I was actually kind of impressed that he had admitted it. _ **  
**_

> _**To: Lyong Boho  
>  Later.** _ **  
> **

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  Are you angry?** _**  
> ** _

> _**To: Lyong Boho  
>  Later Jiyong.** _

* * *

After a quick check to make sure I was presentable, I dialled Seungri. He picked up on the third ring.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Did you plan anything for tomorrow?”

He didn’t respond right away. He probably wasn’t expecting that to be the first thing I said to him.

“Uh… Yeah… I guess. Can we… About the studio…”

“In a second. What’s the timing on the plan tomorrow?”

“Well,” there was a ruffling noise, “I guess it depends. It should be done around one or two I think.”

“Perfect. There’s something I want to do tomorrow night.”

“What-”

“With you. I guess… I have a favour to ask. Can we talk?”

“Sure. Um… I’ll be up in a minute.”

* * *

As I waited for Seungri to come up my phone chimed.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ** **The show is at Studio City. You should probably be there around 6.**

> _**To: Hugeboy  
>  ** _ _**What’s the dress code?** _

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ** **Just ask the band hyungs for help.**

I squinted at the phone. _Fine. Be that way._

* * *

__

Seungri started talking as soon as the door opened.

“I’m sorry. It shouldn’t matter if-”

“Shush. Come in.”

He awkwardly followed me into the kitchen. I, as always, started pulling cups out of the cupboard and filling them with water. Seungri graciously accepted one, but didn’t drink it.

Instead, he stood by while I drained mine. As soon as I set my cup on the counter, it was followed by his.

“I’ve been stupid today,” his hands started tapping against his legs, “wasn’t I?”

“Yes, but not nearly as stupid as Jiyong. It’s fine.”

He visibly relaxed, even going so far as to smile. His fingers calmed their motion a little.

“Jiyong messed up too?”

“A little. A lot,” I shoved my fingers through my hair, “I don’t know. I haven’t really talked to him yet.”

“Can I ask what he did?”

I busied myself filling my water glass again. The issue with Jiyong felt… personal. Like I shouldn’t gossip about it until after I talk to him directly. I considered not saying anything for a moment.

“Jiyong doesn’t approve of Mino and I being friends.”

“Well,” he started cautiously, “I can understand his point. I think most of us would prefer if you two didn’t become close. Well, maybe Daesung and Taeyang just don’t care.”

I nodded, stalling via drinking water again. _No danger of dehydration tonight. No sir!_

Seungri just watched, some sort of extra-sensory reading telling him not to say anything. I leaned against the counter and put down my cup.

“Without ruining the surprise, tell me about the plan for tomorrow.”

“Well,” he dug his hands into his pocket, “like I said, we should be done around one or two. Um… I guess you should maybe wear shorts or something. We’ll be in the sun a little bit, so sunscreen too.” He shrugged. “It’s outside, but not active.”

I nodded. _Sunscreen, okay._ _Maybe a zoo date?_

“And what about afterwards?”

I tried to subtly increase my cuteness factor as I asked the question. If Seungri noticed, he didn’t make any noticeable reaction.

He ruffled his hair slightly, “I hadn’t really planned anything specific. Thought we might go for some dinner. What were you thinking?”

“Well… I heard about this show~” I mentally cringed at the lilt in my own voice, “I was thinking we might go?”

Seungri relaxed slightly. His body language changed to that of a man who thinks he’s found a higher bargaining platform.

“What show is this?”

I broke into a full pout.

“I… I’m not a hundred percent sure. Hold on…” I moved to the table to check my phone. “It’s at Studio City, and we should probably get there around six.”

“Studio City? Do you have anything that you could… wear?” Seungri looked legitimately concerned.

“Why? Is it fancy?” _I’ll choke Mino myself if he got me into some sort of…_

“It’s… Give me a minute.”

He walked into the living room, tapping at his phone. After a moment I heard his voice come back through the kitchen entry.

“Hyung? Can you come up to Luna’s room? It’s a fashion thing... Right. Well… hold on a second.” Seungri lowered the phone and pressed it against his stomach. “You want to grab some lunch before we do this?”

“Umm…” I had an idea what this was, and was totally willing to put it off, “sure. Yeah.”

“Okay,” he lifted the phone again, “well, not right now. But what are you going to be doing later on?”

He made some open ended kind of plans and hung up. Tucking his phone back in his pocket he looked up at me.

“What should we do for food?”

* * *

“Peizhi and Minsheng were asking about you again.” Soo-ah seemed a little more at ease with Seungri this time. Her blush was slowly fading and she was able to actually speak full, coherent, sentences.

I sighed heavily.

“I keep meaning to go see them but everything is so busy.”

“Who are they?” Seungri asked.

“Peizhi teaches Kung-Fu, Minsheng teaches dance. Their studio isn't that far from here actually…” I let the implied suggestion hang in the air. Seungri smirked and looped his arm over my shoulder.

“You should show me their studio. Do you think they would be there now?”

“Wednesday…” I thought briefly. “Minsheng should be teaching a class right now, but that should be done in about half an hour.”

“Actually, Minsheng got injured over the weekend. So he’ll be free whenever. I think he has Cho Ilsung teaching the dance classes while he recovers.”

“Then let’s go when we’re done here.” Seungri wiggled me slightly by my shoulders. “We can go bring him something.”

Soo-ah looked like her heart had just melted. She smiled and surreptitiously tapped at her phone. A second later I felt my pocket vibrate. I picked it up, trying to obscure the screen from Seungri without looking like I was trying to hide it.

> **From: Sooooo AH  
>  ** **I’m sure Cho Ilsung would love to meet your new boyfriend.**

I shot a quick glare at Soo-ah, but she was now telling Seungri all about our lessons with Peizhi.

> _**To: Sooooo AH  
>  ** _ _**I don’t even know where to start…** _

> _**To: Sooooo AH  
>  ** _ _**Is it really him teaching lessons this week?** _

Soo-ah glanced down when the message went through. She nodded to me quickly. Seungri obviously saw the looks passing between us, but didn’t say anything.

After we finished our meal Seungri spent a good five minutes arguing with Soo-ah about who would pay.

“You’re the youngest here,” she pushed his hand away from the cashier, “I can not let you pay.”

“But I’m the most successful out of all of us,” he retorted. Smoothly he slid his card into his other hand to try to place it on the counter.

Wang Junseo and I watched them squabble. I leaned over slightly to whisper to the proprietor.

“I should just pay while they’re arguing. Get it over with.”

“In that case it’s free.” He leaned on the counter casually. “My father still owes you for that mural.”

I smiled at the wall I had painted for the Wang’s two years ago. They had paid me when I did the painting, but Junseo and his father always acted like it was the only thing that kept the restaurant afloat. For a moment I was lost in memories of the month spent working on it. Junseo would stay behind after work to make small talk and walk me home. Soo-ah had been convinced he had had a crush on me, but nothing ever came of it.

I was pulled out of the nostalgia by Junseo raising his voice.

“Yah, kids, the bill’s settled. You can thank Luna. Now stop arguing in my entry!”

“Junseo-ah… I can’t let you do that,” I protested.

“That’s why I didn’t ask for permission.” He came out from behind the counter and headed towards our table. Stacking our dishes, he glanced back at us. “I told you to leave. Go.”

Knowing that Junseo’s mother wouldn’t approve, I tucked ₩40,000 between some keys on the cash register before anyone could see.

Soo-ah was all smiles and laughs as she explained to Seungri about what had just happened.

“He used to be in looooooove with Luna.”

“He had a **crush**. Had! In the past! He was only, like, twenty.”

“Twenty is old enough.” Soo-ah looped her arm through mine. “He was so jealous of Ilsung back then.”

“Yah!” I elbowed her lightly. “He just liked practising English while I painted.”

Soo-ah shook her head dismissively.

“He comps her bill about half the time.”

“He does it once in a while.”

“He makes eyes at her while we eat.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. There was no stopping her.

“You might be famous, but you’re still lucky to have a chance with my little Luna. Young men find her foreign charms irresistible. Don’t mess it up,” Soo-ah sternly commanded.

“I’ll try not to,” Seungri laughed.

* * *

I wanted to stop in to see Peizhi and Minsheng but, once again, there just wasn’t enough time. After escorting Soo-ah back to her store Seungri and I headed towards the subway station.

As we walked Seungri teased me.

“So you and Junseo used to date, huh?”

“No! He would watch me paint is all.”

“Ah,” he tucked his hand into mine, “was he your first Korean love?”

“Seungriiii~,” I whined and pouted, hoping he would stop.

“That’s just like a drama. The younger man that falls in love with an older exotic artist.” He shook his head, laughing. “Maybe I should start calling you noona.”

“Don’t you dare! You’ll make me feel old,” I grumbled.

“So, noona,” he leaned in an made mischievous face, “should I be jealous of Ilsung too?”

I groaned and pouted. “I was hoping you hadn’t caught that part.”

Seungri stood up straight and laughed. He dropped his grip on my hand, moving to swing his arm around my shoulder.

“Sounds like an ex-boyfriend story.” He sighed in a happy way. “I assume he’s not as good as me.”

I looked at him curiously.

“What?” He glanced at me.

“I don’t get you,” I started, “you were so jealous this morning. But when it comes to talk about my ex you’re… fine.”

“That’s your ex. It was before I met you. Besides,” he shrugged, “if you broke up then I probably have nothing to worry about.”

* * *

After a brief stop for coffee, we finally got back to the hotel. Seungri escorted me back up to my room and made another phonecall.

“Hyung? Yeah… We’re back now… Yeah. There’s a show tomorrow… Could you come take a look?… Alright, thanks.”

Seungri pocketed the phone and turned towards me.

“He’ll be up in a minute. Can we take a look at your closet?”

“You’ve already seen it,” I pointed out.

“Yeah, yeah,” he started pulling me down the hall, “but I wasn’t really looking carefully.”

* * *

I sat back on my bed while Seungri flicked through my hangers. I would have offered to help but I wasn’t sure what he was looking for.

After a few minutes I heard the buzz of the door. I left Seungri in my room as I went to open it. I had an idea who he had called up to help, so I wasn’t really surprised when I saw Jiyong’s face as I opened the door.

“I’ll hide my phone.”

His eyebrows jumped, then dipped. He gave me a pleading look.

“Luna~… It was just a prank. I’ll admit it was a bad one. But I talked to Mino. I fixed it.”

I took a step back, letting him in.

“It’s still fucked up though.” I jerked my head in the direction of my room. “Seungri’s looking through my clothes.”

“Um… I brought this.”

I hadn’t noticed the large pad of paper in his hands. I accepted my sketchbook before nodding towards my room again.

“Thanks. Are you going to help?”

“In a minute. Can we talk?”

“I’d rather not. There’s not really anything to talk about.”

With that, I headed back towards my room. I didn’t bother to check if he was coming. After a second I could hear Jiyong following me.

The two boys went through every item that Soo-ah had packed for me. It wasn’t much, considering it was about seventy percent the of my entire wardrobe.

“You don’t go out much,” Jiyong murmured, “do you?”

I looked up from where I had splayed out on my bed. He was holding a shirt and switching back and forth between some shorts and a skirt.

“Like, to clubs? Yeah, not really. Soo-ah’s more into that than me.”

“Then why~~,” Seungri flopped onto the mattress next to me, “do you want to go to a show at Studio City?”

“I like going out. I just don’t do it that **often**. When I do I usually end up borrowing something of Soo-ah’s to wear.”

“I give up.”

Jiyong placed the shirt back in the closet and tossed the bottoms at Seungri.

“Hyung please~.”

“With her closet. I give up on her closet. Luna,” he beckoned me up, “come on. We’re going to go find you something.”

* * *

Jiyong was a man with a mission. After charging Seungri with cleaning up the mess they had made in my room, he had dragged me out of my suite.

Being tugged along by the hand, I was too curious to protest.

Jiyong impatiently tapped his foot as we waited on the elevator, his hand still gripping mine.

_Is he taking me to YG’s wardrobe department or something?_

Once in the elevator, he dropped his grip on my hand. This turned out to only be so that he could corner me. Literally. My back to the corner, he rested a hand on the railings to either side.

He fixed me with an intense look, but stayed silent.

“Um, Jiyong…”

“I’m sorry.”

Not what I was expecting with that body language.

“Okay. But we need to hit one of the buttons.”

He shook his head and hit the button for the garage before returning to his position.

“Why aren’t you mad?”

“What’s the point? You did something shitty, I told you it was shitty, you apologised, we’re good.”

Putting more of his weight on his hands, he hung his head. Groaning, he pulled himself back up to stand straight.

“I really am sorry. I just thought…”

“I don’t care. Mino and I are still friends, so there’s no real damage.”

Jiyong stared at me, his eyes darting back and forth between mine. He licked his lips quickly before speaking again.

“This is worse than if you were angry.”

I cocked my head to the side.

“How?’

“This is… You haven’t forgiven me, but you aren’t angry. I…” he looked away for a moment before continuing. “I just feel ashamed.”

“Good.”

* * *

The rest of the elevator ride was a little awkward. Jiyong exiled himself to another corner of the small box.

When we got to the garage, I couldn’t help but linger over his car again. It was just too nice. I spotted his expression while I ran my fingers along the dips of the hood of the car. He seemed to be taking it as a good sign.

The car ride was quiet. Even if he had taken my interest in his car as a good sign, he didn’t seem to be taking it as a full forfeit on my part.

We eventually arrived at a mall. It wasn’t the same one that Seungri had taken me to for the movie date. The short trip from the car to a store that Jiyong chose was silent as well, but I allowed him to lead me by my hand through the crowds.

_It’s just so that I don’t get lost._

* * *

__

Once inside the shop Jiyong quickly loaded my arms with skirts, tops, and dresses. Placing his hands on my shoulders, he directed me to the changing rooms.

“Let’s me see each item, okay?”

I nodded before stepping into the stall.

Six outfits later, he was making suggestions.

“Try the red skirt with that black top. The one with the open back.”

Feeling like a paper doll, I dutifully tried the outfit he specified.

As soon as I stepped out of the stall I was greeted by his phone. I heard the sound of his shutter clicking.

“Wow. This is… turn around for me?”

I spun slowly. My spin was accompanied by several more shutter sounds.

“Ji-yah…”

He looked up from his phone.

“Why are you taking pictures?”

He smiled. It was a bit mischievous.

“I’m getting advice from some friends. Don’t worry, I didn’t show your face.”

I squinted at him. This only caused him to pout.

“Who are you asking?”

“Just some people who are almost as good at style as me,” he said to his phone. He perked up as his phone vibrated. “Ah, Haesol seems to approve.”

I was speechless for a moment.

“Haesol? Like… Kim Haesol? Zion.T?”

Jiyong simply smiled and snapped another picture.

* * *

After the we bought the skirt and top, Jiyong directed me to a lingerie store. I protested the whole way.

“I have money Jiyong. I could have bought the clothes myself.”

“Shush. I have more money than I know what to do with. Just let me treat my favourite girl, okay?”

I was so busy arguing the point about payment that I didn’t notice which store he had steered me into until we were already inside.

“Ji-yah!”

He simply smiled at me in answer.

“This is… you can’t… no... this is too much!”

“I went through your closet and drawers,” he said pointedly, “you don’t have anything to match what we bought.”

“I can find something that will work!”

He simply waved me over to a rack full of bras.

“What size are you? I’d estimate about a 70D?”

My cheeks felt like they were on fire.

“70F. But sometimes the 75F fits better.” I tried to say it as quietly as possible.

Jiyong stared at me for a minute. He looked like he had broken something in his mind. He quickly turned back to the rack to try to cover himself.

“Okay… so… uh…” he flipped through bras hurriedly.

“Ji-yah…”

“With that top something a little tighter might look better so… here.” He held a bra out towards me.

I just wanted this shopping trip to end. Taking the bra, I headed towards the changing stall. As I tried the bra out, the shirt he had bought swung over the top of the door.

“Try this over it so we can make sure.”

His voice sounded surer than it had on the sales-floor.

After a bit of sizing and back and forth over bra styles and the shirt we left the store. I was too embarrassed to even argue when he bought a matching set for me. I was mostly just hoping the cashier wouldn’t recognise him… or me, when I thought of it.

It was almost as if I had ascended to some other plane when Jiyong directed me to a store that specialised in shoes. I thought he made some joke about how much faster everything was going now that I wasn’t arguing with him while we were there, but I honestly had stopped paying attention. I had essentially resigned myself to being his manikin.

* * *

I came out of my stupor somewhere on the drive back home. I looked into the back seat at the bags.

“Was this really necessary?”

“Well,” Jiyong considered the question, “I guess I could have done something with your closet. But I wanted to do this.”

I looked at him incredulously.

“Why?”

He shrugged as he pulled into a parking spot in the garage of the hotel.

“I messed up. You were mad at me. I wanted to do something nice for you.”

“Okay… but the lingerie…” opening the door to stand up, I searched for the right words, “I could have done without.”

“Sure,” Jiyong looked across his car at me, “but isn’t it nice to have new things like that?”

I frowned as I dug the bags out of the car. He wasn’t wrong, but it still felt weird.

I chewed my lip as I started towards the elevator.

Jiyong swooped in behind me, grabbing the bags in the process. He bounced on his feet and smiled to himself as we waited for the elevator.

Once inside he let the bags rest on the floor. I made myself comfortable in the same corner that I had occupied on the way down.

“So?”

I looked up at Jiyong.

“Is it not nice to get new things like that?”

I opened my mouth, something sarcastic on my tongue.

It stuck.

Seemingly without moving, Jiyong was back in his position in front of me.

“You know,” he smiled slightly, “when you get speechless you look perfect for a kiss.”

_Well, if I wasn’t speechless before, I definitely was now._

“Uh…”

Jiyong’s smile widened.

“There’s no cameras. Should I?”

I found my voice enough to stammer out a “what?”

“Can I kiss you?”

A hundred signals started firing in my brain. I was mad at this guy for what he had done with Mino. I couldn’t deny that I had felt a little… _something_ when he picked out that set of underwear for me. This guy was sly. He might even qualify for manipulative. Not to mention we were in an elevator. If anyone on any floor wanted to go up a few floors, we would be caught.

While I was running through possible responses, he leaned forward. I could feel his lips just barely on mine.

“Is this okay?”

I honestly couldn’t tell you who closed the gap between us. What I can tell you is that in just a few seconds I was lifted and settled to perch precariously on the railings along the walls.

Jiyong’s hands slid surely under the hem of my shirt. His lips were hyperactive against mine. Since I already had a bit of height on him, being situated on the railing put me even further above him. To compensate for that, his kisses quickly trailed along my jawline to my ear.

I heard him take a sharp breath in as he tugged at my earlobe.

“You taste good.”

_Maybe there was something to the Sugar Blush._

There wasn’t enough space between us. He was short enough that I couldn’t feel whether he was hard or not. Regardless, he definitely seemed… eager. He let out a whine as I pulled his hair to position his lips in a place where my own could reach them.

I felt like the last week and a half had just been a build up to this. I glanced up at the elevator display. Floor ten. _Fuck._

I pushed him back. He looked at me, confused, but didn’t try to press forward again. I gestured quickly at the display, which now showed that we were passing floor twelve.

“Come to my room.” His whisper sounded breathless against my ear. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“That’s **not** going to happen.”

He groaned slightly, but didn’t protest.

“Worth a try. I guess Seungri probably wants to bring you to dinner or something.”

_Seungri. Shit._

Jiyong must have seen the look of panic on my face. He leaned forward and tugged at my bottom lip with his teeth just as the elevator dinged that we had reached floor seventeen.

“Just don’t say anything. Tell him that shopping went well and that it’s a surprise.”

With that, he stepped back and straightened my shirt as the elevator doors opened.

* * *

I could barely focus on dinner with Seungri. What had happened in the elevator was still so fresh in my mind. I had kissed Jiyong. Kwon Jiyong. G Dragon. Not only that, but I had kissed Seungri earlier in the day.

I kept making excuses about it having been a long day to Seungri.

“Filming just really took a lot of energy out of me,” I smiled at him.

* * *

Even when I went to bed, I was still stuck thinking about it.

Sure, I had known that I would probably end up kissing more than Seungri. That was the nature of the show. But two in the same day? I hadn’t been so unscrupulous since high school.

I was distracted from my thoughts by my phone vibrating.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  ** **I can’t stop thinking about your lips.**

I blinked at my phone. _How was I supposed to respond to that?_

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  ** **I want to taste more of you.**

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  ** **Sorry. That’s gross, right?**

I stared at the screen for a moment before replying.

> _**To: Lyong Boho  
>  ** _ _**You sound like a playboy.** _

His response was faster than seemed possible.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  ** **I get that. Sorry.**

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  ** **Sleep well jagi.**


	11. Seungri: Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baseball and dancing. Drinking and drama. Seungri can't hold his liquor, with dangerous results. Jiyong is protective, kind of. Mino finally gets a chance to put words into actions.

I woke up before the crew showed up again. Not surprising, since I went to bed before 9pm. I rolled over and looked at the clock. 6:47. I flopped back onto the mattress.

I lay there for about fifteen minutes, trying to remember what my dream had been. There had been someone who was a man, but with the face of a woman. They had been trying to show me… what? I couldn’t remember. I reached for my journal, but it wasn’t next to my bed.

I walked into the living room. No journal in sight. I checked under the sofa. No journal. In the kitchen: no journal. In the sofa cushions: no journal. I looked all through the apartment: no journal.

Considering that it was now only just past 7am, I figured that I was maybe just not awake enough to find it yet. So instead, I grabbed my gym stuff. I left a note on my door for the crew saying I had gone down to the gym, and headed for the elevator.

I settled onto the rowing machine, glad that the complex was entirely empty, save for the lone sleepy attendant. I put my earphones in and started rowing. If nothing else, I would be in better than my previous top form by the time taping was finished.

The gym was uneventful. There was an older man there. In accordance with gym etiquette, we ignored each other.

I half expected a text to come in halfway through my run. Instead, a body got on the treadmill next to me. It seemed odd. There were easily thirty other open treadmills. But then I noticed who it was. Smirking, I turned up my earbuds and increased my running speed.

The man next to me lifted a hand to the controls, but decided against changing their speed as well. _Nice._

I lost myself in the running. Around mile seven, even my music was somewhat muted. At mile ten, I glanced over to check on my partner. He was moving at a speed five miles per hour slower than me. Smug, I finally hit the stop button on my treadmill.

I ignored him as I grabbed a spray bottle and cleaned the machine. He followed suit, also silent. Neither of us said anything until I headed towards the locker room to shower.

“Luna,” Jiyong caught my elbow, “can we talk?”

“Sure. But I’m going to shower first.”

I took longer than absolutely necessary. I wasn’t really ready to face Jiyong yet. I was still angry at him for the phone stunt. I didn’t know how to feel about what had happened in the elevator. Honestly, in the pit of my stomach, I think he ultimately scared me. It felt like he had some kind of sway over me.

He was leaning against the wall outside the locker rooms when I exited. His hair was damp, and he was wearing different clothes. Obviously he had showered as well. I tightened my grip on my gym bag.

“Yesterday was out of line.”

He looked up at me, surprise lifting his brows. Then he smiled sheepishly.

“I agree.”

“You do?”

He nodded. Stepping forward, off the wall, he gestured towards the exit. I started walking. He quickly followed.

“I let my emotions get the best of me.”

I almost stopped walking. My step faltered, but, remembering the elevator, I kept going. Better not to give him an opening.

“Your emotions.”

“Yes.”

I had to stop walking at this point. We had arrived at the bank of elevators. After hitting the up button, I turned to look at Jiyong.

“Care to elaborate?”

He rolled his lips together.

“I think I might actually like you.”

“Huh.” I turned to face the elevators. We stood in silence for a while. When the elevator dinged to signal its arrival Jiyong spoke up.

“Well?”

I stepped into the elevator, Jiyong half a step behind me.

“Well what?”

He cocked his head impatiently. Since there was another passenger he stood at my side, hands clasped in front of him.

“Care to elaborate?”

“Hmm… Let me know if you figure it out for sure.”

In the corner of my eye I saw Jiyong start as if surprised.

The man got off on the seventh floor. As soon as the doors were shut behind him, Jiyong turned to face me.

“That’s it? You want me to let you know if I figure it out?”

“Well, yeah?” I rolled my eyes, shrugging.

“You said you think you **might** like me. Anyone in the world **might** like me. It’s not exactly life changing news.”

He shook his head, obviously incredulous. I was glad I finally had something like an upper hand.

We stood in silence until we reached the sixteenth floor. I was expecting it when Jiyong paused in the doorway. He seemed like the type that needed to have the last word.

“You’re smart.”

I pushed past him, heading for Seungri’s room.

“I know.”

* * *

 

Jiyong lingered outside his suite. He eyed me as I knocked on Seungri’s door.

After a second Seungri, wearing only a pair of pyjama pants, opened the door. My pulse jumped. It was obvious that I had woken him up.

“Hyu… Luna? Do you know what time it is?”

I pushed him back into his suite.

“Time for breakfast. Go get dressed.”

I waved my fingers at Jiyong before stepping into the suite after Seungri.

“Who were you waving to?”

“Jiyong. Go get dressed.”

Seungri stumbled down the hallway towards his bedroom. It was cute. Even though he had the perfect opportunity, he was too tired to flirt.

Twenty minutes later, I poked my head into Seungri’s room.

He was splayed out on his bed. I thought about what to do for a second. As inviting as his skin looked, I opted to clap loudly.

“Yah!”

He rolled onto his back and groaned.

“What?”

“I’m hungry you jerk. Let’s go get breakfast. Come on.”

He sat up, sleepily rubbing at his eyes. Hair stuck up at odd angles all over his head. I wanted to run my fingers through it. I shook my head at him.

“A girl comes to your hotel room and you just fall asleep?”

“I thought that was just a dream.” He leaned back on his hands and shot me a smile. “What should I have done?”

I felt my pulse spike again. Laughing, I started to back out of his room.

“Gotten dressed so we can get breakfast.”

“Yah… Yah! Come back!”

I was in the living room area by now. The door to his room swung open.

“Luna!”

“What?”

He stood in his doorway. The angle of his hips as he leaned one arm against the door frame should be outlawed.

“Come back.”

That cocky grin should also be outlawed.

“Why?”

“Help me choose clothes.”

_Get your fucking hormones under control Luna!_

Taking a deep breath, I decided to rise to the challenge. I marched past Seungri, who was apparently awake enough to flirt now, and straight to his closet. Flipping through his hangers, I sighed.

“You know I’m not good at this, right?”

I glanced behind me to see that Seungri was back on his bed. Legs akimbo, he rested back on his hands. He offered me a _completely average_ and _not at all heart stopping_ smile.

“I’m sure you’ll do great. Just pick out the sort of stuff you like on a guy.”

I turned back to the closet. _What do guys look good in?_ Shorts usually looked dumb to me, so I skipped over them. I dug around for what seemed like ages.

“Don’t you have any normal clothes?”

“Maybe on the shelves in back.”

I dug in deeper. _How much clothing could one guy need for two months?_

After finally finding a simple dark grey t-shirt, I backed out of the closet. I tossed it to him and stood up.

“Why is your closet so big and why don’t you use the dresser?”

Seungri’s response was muffled as he tugged the shirt over his head.

“Dressers wrinkle stuff.” His head popped out. “What about pants?”

I made him stand up so I could hold different pants in front of him. I finally settled on a pair that were faded, but not over done.

Seungri looped his thumbs into his waistband.

“Stop it! No! Wait!”

I could have outrun Usain Bolt in my hurry to get out of his room. I heard him laughing as I slammed the door behind me.

_This boy is going to kill me. He is going to give me a heart attack by the time the day is over. I’ll be lucky if we make it to Mino’s show._

I could still hear him laughing from the hallway. _This kid thinks he’s got jokes._

* * *

 

Seungri settled down over breakfast. Instead of flirtatious teasing, he went in for regular teasing.

“You know, the whole reason I scheduled a mid-day plan was so that we could sleep in.”

“Are you complaining that I want to spend time with you?”

After a much later breakfast than I had wanted, Seungri suggested a movie.

“Do we have time?”

He double checked some stuff on his phone before smiling sheepishly.

“Ah, not really.”

He was able to convince me to go hotel exploring with him instead. I didn’t really get the point of it.

“It’s just hallways. We can’t even get into any of the rooms.”

Seungri just took me to a T in the hallway and positioned me by my shoulders.

“Okay, now shush. Close your eyes. Just listen for a minute.”

I gave him a cynical look but did as he said. Somebody was watching the news down the hall to my left. I heard one half of a conversation down the hall in front of me. There was nothing down the hall to my right. Small tapping noises behind me.

“What do you hear?”

Keeping my eyes closed, I smirked.

“You’re nervous again.”

The tapping stopped.

“Besides that.”

I was fully smiling now. This was childish. I loved it.

“Someone’s watching TV down there,” I lifted my left hand to point to my side. “And someone is arguing on the phone down there,” I lifted my right hand to point in front of me.

“It’s crazy, right?”

I opened my eyes and turned around to face him. I cocked my head.

“What do you mean?”

“Those sounds are people. They’re living their own lives and we can hear them. The man on the phone? He’s having some kind of problem that is just as important to him as any of your problems are to you. There are entire lives being lived and we’ll never know anything about them besides these sounds.”

I nodded as he spoke.

“Yeah. And?”

“And that’s crazy.”

I shrugged.

“It just proves we’re not ants.”

He looked unimpressed with my assessment.

* * *

 

“This is the first baseball game I’ve been to since I was about thirteen.”

Seungri looked surprised.

“So you haven’t been to one in Korea?”

“Yeah.”

He shook his head in disbelief, but was smiling.

“Maybe I should have gotten regular seats then.”

He didn’t answer my questions about what that meant. Instead, he just kept my fingers entwined with his and pulled me along a hallway.

Eventually he opened up a door and ushered me in. His energy, paired with my own nostalgia had me laughing.

“What are you…”

The field stretched under me. I felt dizzy for a split second, but quickly overcame it to approach the glass. I looked down at the sea of people in the stands.

“Wow.”

I felt a body approach me from the side, but my eyes were glued to taking in the people.

“I think I get it now. That’s a lot of separate lives down there.”

“Excuse me?”

I turned to be faced with… well… luxury personified. Trying to hide my embarrassment, I quickly bowed.

“I’m sorry. I thought you were Seungri.”

Lee Chaerin looked me over. It made me feel uncomfortable. It was like being with T.O.P. That sense of… almost royalty.

I waited for her to speak first.

“You’re Luna?”

“Yes.”

She nodded slowly.

“I’d say that’s interesting but…” Chaerin shrugged. Suddenly she smiled brightly.

“So which one do you think you like?”

“Uh… Well…”

“Me. Obviously.” Seungri bumped me with his shoulder. “Right?”

“Umm… I… You know…” I blinked. I blinked a little too much. Seungri laughed it off though.

“I know. But,” he held a finger up, “you like me best so far, because you’ve spent the most time with me.”

He was acting a little strange. A little… more energetic?

Chaerin raised an eyebrow.

“Jiyong seems pretty confident.”

Seungri scrunched his nose up in distaste.

“Hyung is always confident. That’s what’s going to make him fail this time.”

I was glad that I wasn’t being called upon to respond anymore. To be perfectly honest, I was beyond intimidated by Chaerin. Their conversation flowed over things mostly inconsequential to me, so I allowed myself to get lost in thought.

I was glad Seungri was staying near me. There were other people in the skybox, but I didn’t recognise any of them. Even if I had, I wouldn’t have been brave enough to approach them. As it was, I was able to stick by Seungri and gaze out at the people in the stands instead.

I wondered if he knew how anxious this could have made me. Did he knew how helpful having him stay close by was? Well, not him specifically, but having someone that I was at least a little comfortable with.

The game was a lot longer than I expected. It also ended up being more fun than I thought it would be. The kiss cam was cute, and the drink cam was… different.

* * *

 

After the game we stopped by the Kimchi bus for lunch. It was good, as usual.

Seungri nudged me slightly.

“You’re quiet.”

I nodded, concentrating on my food. He hummed, but didn’t say anything. After a few bites, I decided to elaborate.

“CL is a little scary, isn’t she?”

“Is she? She doesn’t scare me.”

I was going to reply, but this was apparently not to be. Instead, I bit my lip by accident.

Letting out a shout I dropped my taco. One hand to my mouth I stared at the dropped food. Somehow, it all seemed like too much. The bite was too much. The food waste was too much. The baseball game was too much. The sonder was too much. Meeting CL, hanging out with celebrities, going on fake dates with Seungri… Everything was too much.

Raising my hand from my mouth to my eyes, I managed to knock my glasses off. Too much.

Seungri bent to retrieve my glasses. He offered them to me, but paused.

“Are… What’s wrong?”

Embarrassment compiled with everything else and I was left with no option but to start crying.

“Yah, whoa, what’s wrong? Luna…”

“I don’t know,” I spoke from behind both of my hands now. Just because I had lost the battle with my tear ducts didn’t mean I was about to let everyone see it.

“I think… Can we go home now? Today has been really… difficult.”

“Of course,” he nodded, “let’s go back now. We can just relax for the rest of the day.”

He held onto my glasses for me as he directed me back to the car. My outburst was mostly cleared up by the time we reached it.

In the car, I leaned my seat back a little bit. Taking my glasses, I hung them from my shirt collar. Seeing things felt like too much work right now.

We drove in silence until we hit traffic. A small groan from Seungri pulled me out of my stupor.

“I’m sorry.”

He glanced over, letting his hand drop to my knee.

“For what?”

“Crying in public, I guess. I don’t know.”

Smiling, he patted my knee gently.

“It’s fine. Some days are stressful. I get it.”

* * *

 

> **From: Sooooo AH!  
>  What happened? Why were you crying? Are you okay? Call me!**

How surreal. I hadn’t even been in my hotel suite for an hour, and Soo-ah somehow knew everything.

Or, well, not everything. But she knew that I had cried. The whole internet probably knew.

Calling her would be too much. Luckily, she knew how I got.

> **_To: Sooooo AH!  
>  Just one of those days. Period, stress, crying. I bit my lip and then the whole world was awful._ **
> 
> **_To: Sooooo AH!  
>  Plus I met CL. What is my life? How am I supposed to handle this?_ **
> 
> **_To: Sooooo AH!  
>  She’s so poised and pretty. How am I supposed to fit into this world? I am a duck in swan lake._ **

I rested my phone on my stomach and stared up at the ceiling above my bed. In an attempt to dull some senses, I had pulled the curtains shut.

* * *

 

Seungri had suggested watching a movie together, but had completely understood when I said I needed to decompress alone. He had seemed genuinely concerned.

“Do you want to cancel tonight?”

I leaned against the door to my suite and thought it over. I wanted to go to the show, but could I enjoy it if I was like this?

“I don’t know. Can I text you about it later on?”

“Sure,” he nodded, “just let me know.”

* * *

 

My stomach vibrated.

> **From: Sooooo AH!  
>  I don’t get that reference 100%, but I think I understand.**
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH!  
>  She must be scary in real life.**
> 
> **_To: Sooooo AH!  
>  Yes. But it’s not just her. It hit me today. Everything. This is a crazy situation._ **
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH!  
>  Yes. I’m sorry for making your life crazy ㅜ.ㅜ**
> 
> **_To: Sooooo AH!  
>  I don’t blame you. Dummy._ **
> 
> **_To: Sooooo AH!  
>  Question: should I skip the show tonight?_ **
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH!  
>  I hope you don’t! Mino will be disappointed, and I’ll have no one to talk to.**
> 
> **_To: Sooooo AH!  
>  You’re going?_ **
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH!  
>  Not only am I going, but I was invited. I’ll tell you all about it at the show!**
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH!  
>  ** **And I’ll protect you too much stress, okay?**

Well, that settles that I guess. I hauled myself up from the sofa and into the bathroom.

> **_To: Seungri  
>  I’d still like to go to the show._ **
> 
> **_To: Seungri  
>  If you don’t mind?_ **

I tugged my shirt off and started the shower running. Having shimmied the rest of my clothes off, I checked my phone before getting under the stream.

> **From: Seungri  
>  Sounds good to me. Why would I mind? Are you feeling better?**

I smiled and shot a reply off.

> **_To: Seungri  
>  I don’t know why you would mind. I’m about to shower. Hopefully that will help clear it up._ **

The water was perfect. My entire body loosened up. I recalled an ex of mine, who had been in training to become a massage therapist at the time, saying that I tended to hold my emotions in my lower back and shoulders. Showers like this seemed to prove him somewhat correct. My muscles slackened up, and I let myself have a good shower cry.

Feeling physically and mentally refreshed, I set about getting ready.  
First, however, I had a message from Seungri.

> **From: Seungri  
>  Well… I don’t mind going. As long as you want to go.**
> 
> **From: Seungri  
>  I’ll get ready. Let me know when you’re ready to go.**

I smiled. It was cute. He seemed so earnest.

* * *

 

Clothing was easy, since Jiyong had played stylist last night. Makeup was proving a bit more challenging.

> **_To: Lyong Boho  
>  What sort of eyeliner would you suggest?_ **

I went over blush and highlighter options while waiting for a reply. Wondering about the lighting situation in the club, I gave myself a silvery glow. Gold would have been more on trend, but the cool effect of silver felt safer. Maybe if I appear cold, I won’t have to talk very much.

There was a tapping noise, followed by Jiyong’s voice calling through the suite.

“Hello? Luna? Where are you?”

_Just once I want to get ready without a damn boy around._

“Makeup,” I called out.

Jiyong poked his head into the bathroom. I ignored him, looking over my eyeshadow palette. I held it up.

“Blue?”

“Ice queen.”

“Mmm,” I nodded, “eyeliner?”

The rest of his body slid into the room beneath his body. He leaned against the wall next to the door, crossing his arms.

“Look at me?”

I turned to him, even going so far as to strike a V-line pose. He smiled at my antics.

“Maybe Egyptian? Tail, but straight out instead of up or down.”

I nodded and turned back to the mirror.

“How long for the tail? A centimetre?”

“Do a half to start.”

Humming, I picked up my eyeliner and started the process. I glanced at Jiyong in the mirror. He seemed distracted.

“What is it?”

He clicked his tongue and made a face.

“Is it the pictures?”

“Did he do something? Is Seungri treating you well?”

Laughing, I put down the eyeliner and stepped back to look myself over.

“Seungri is fine. He was really nice about it. I just,” I shrugged, “I don’t know. This is a weird situation. It’s tough.”

I turned to face Jiyong, “I’m having emotions is all. How do I look?”

Jiyong squinted at me. Tilting his head, pursing his lips, he gestured for me to spin. Robotically I turned in place.

“Good. If you’re uncomfortable, why are you going out tonight? There will be a lot of people.”

“Yeah,” I started searching for a hair tie, “but Soo-ah is going. She said she was invited, so that’s something to look after.”

Jiyong considered this while I tied my hair back.

“Leave it down.”

“Why?”

“Your neck is too… Seungri might… Well…” He made a pouting face. “You saw how he was when he was drunk.”

I thought of lying on the bed in Seungri’s suite. The silly grin on his face when he had pulled me onto his lap.

“He’s gets into skinship, but he didn’t seem that bad. I think you’re just being jealous again.”

“Fine,” Jiyong shrugged, “I’m being jealous. But Seungri gets impatient sometimes.”

I hummed and moved past Jiyong. In the hallway, I called back over my shoulder.

“I don’t need you to protect me. What about jewellery?”

“Text Daesung for that.”

Daesung agreed to help me out, saying he’d be up in ten minutes. I checked the time.

“I think I’m actually early.”

Jiyong strolled into the living area and reclined in the overstuffed chair.

“It will give you a chance to get used to the outfit. Go get your shoes on.”

“Why?”

“To get used to them,” he waved me towards the bedroom, “go get them.”

“I know how to walk in heels,” I protested. I went to go get them anyway though. He had a point, but I wasn’t going to say it aloud.

I brought the heels out, slipped them on, and did up the ankle straps. They were more delicate than I would have liked. They seemed like the type of straps that might snap half way through the night. Besides that, the clasps were positioned in the most unreachable angle.

“These things are ridiculous…”

“I’ll do it.”

Jiyong knelt and brushed my hands aside. Deftly, he did up both closures before smiling up at me. I stepped back, feeling like his position might have left me a bit exposed.

“Not too tight?”

“It’s fine.”

When he stood, I realised how close he was. Stumbling slightly, I stepped back. My pulse jumped as he quickly reached out and took a hold of my wrist.

“I thought you said you know how to walk in heels?”

“You surprised me is all.”

His lips twitched into a bigger smile, accompanied by his eyebrow arching.

I felt like an observer as he reeled me in. Literally. He slowly pulled me closer to him by my hand.

“You’re lying.”

“What?”

He squeezed my wrist slightly.

“I can feel your blood racing.”

“Like I said, you surprised me.”

“It would have calmed down by now but,” his other hand was now at my waist, “it’s going even faster.”

I tried to brush off his assesment with cynicism.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Maybe. But I think you’d-”

He was cut off by the buzzer of my door. _Daesung, thank god._

I cleared my throat and pulled back from Jiyong. Mindful not to stumble again I went to let Daesung in.

Daesung worked out my jewellery situation with ease. We made small talk about the show while he sifted through a box of bangles he had brought with him. Jiyong stayed quiet, skimming through who knows what on his phone and making faces that revealed he was listening in on Daesung and I.

* * *

 

There was a crowd building outside the club when Seungri and I arrived. The crew went in ahead of us, passing as just more staff. Then Seungri gripped my hand.

“There’s a small chance that we won’t be recognised, but hang on tightly anyway, okay?”

I was going to tease him about how he probably just wanted to hold my hand, but he opened the door of the car and led me out.

It wasn’t like a paparazzi explosion or anything, but there were one or two cellphone flashes. I probably should have kept my head down, but I wanted to see everything.

There were posters of a few rappers hanging on the building. Bobby and Mino were obviously the headliners. They were the largest figures, and in the forefront. I didn’t have time to take in much more before we were ushered inside.

The club was relatively quiet when the doors shut behind us. A/V techs were testing the equipment. It was the first time I had heard a sound check in Korean. People went back and forth, getting various things ready, taking care of last minute emergencies. I tried to stay out of the way.

“Should we go find your fanclub?”

I tried not to smile at Seungri. I think it came across as a half-frown.

Seungri laughed and shook my hand before leading me down a hall. We stopped in front of a door. There was a sticker that said MOBB on it.

“I bet I know who invited Soo-ah,” I nodded towards the door.

“Who?” Seungri knocked on the door.

“It seems like a Bobby thing to do.”

“Bobby? Who are you?”

I stalled, drawing a temporary blank on the name that went with the face in front of me.

The man had plain black tattoos on his arms, and hands that were a little distracting.

“She’s with me Kush-hyung. This is Luna.”

I said a silent prayer of thanks for Seungri saying his name out loud. Then had one of my increasingly familiar waves of repressed fanaticism.

“Hm, Luna? I’m Kush, or Kim Byunghoon. You’re Seungri’s girlfriend?”

I shook my head. Seungri cringed slightly.

“Ah hyung…”

“I’m… We’re getting to know each other.”

“Oh! This is for that show, right? GD told me about it. You won the contest then?”

“Lunaaa~!”

Familiar female arms wrapped around my shoulders. Instantly I felt a little bit more relaxed.

“Yes. Thanks to this one.”

“What did I do?” Soo-ah whined. She was doing her cutesy act.

“You filled out all of the forms, and picked my picture, and I think you forged my signature at least once.”

“And look how well it worked out. Oppas, do you mind if I steal this person for a minute?”

Seungri and Kush signalled their agreement and moved further into the room.

* * *

 

Now that I wasn’t being blinded by meeting another celebrity, I was able to take in the room. It was a dressing area, complete with fake dividers. I saw Mino getting his hair done up. I made a dumb face at him when we made eye contact in the mirror.

He winked and bit his lip at me.

Oh man, suddenly I need to talk

to Soo-ah. I turned to her and hoped my blush wasn’t too apparent.

“So, you were invited?”

She nodded.

“Yes. Your little troublemaker friend stopped by the shop yesterday.”

I rolled my eyes.

“I figured it would be Bobby. So what’s going on there?”

Soo-ah crinkled her nose and shook her head.

“Nothing is going on. He insisted that I should come but he’s been out of sight since I arrived.”

I nodded. I could ask Bobby myself later on.

“So tell me everything! Why was Mino looking at you like that? What did you and Seungri do today? Has anyone kissed you yet?”

Soo-ah was buzzing. I tried to deflect her inquiries.

“You need a drink or three. Something to mell-”

“Ooooh! Somebody did kiss you! Who? Seungri, right? Did you like it? Do you like him? How was it?”

Her eyes glittered with curiosity. All I could think of was the kiss from Jiyong.

“You’re blushing! Aigo, when did you get so cute? Are you shy? Let’s go to the bar and talk.”

She clasped my hand in hers and tugged me towards the door. She ignored my protests, single minded in her fact finding mission. We were halfway out of the room when she stopped, looking back into the room.

“Who’s…?”

I had retracted into myself a bit, trying to organise my thoughts before we reached the bar, so I had missed that someone was calling my name. Pulled from my thoughts, I looked around.

Mino was approaching us.

“Where are you going?”

“Ah… we…” I blinked.

He was handsome enough during all of our meetings when he had been barefaced. Now that he was fresh from the makeup chair he was practically a demigod.

“We were just going to get some drinks,” Soo-ah explained.

Mino smirked, then gestured us into the hallway.

“You can go to our booth. I’m sure they’ve set a bottle or two out. I’m not going to drink yet, and it’ll get warm before I’m ready.”

“Ah, I should be the one getting my date a drink. I’m so rude, aren’t I Luna?”

Soo-ah’s hand dropped mine, replaced by Seungri’s. Some sort of cognitive function returned to me. I smiled, shaking my head.

“I’m okay. I think Soo-ah actually just wanted a minute to talk privately.”

* * *

 

Soo-ah wasn’t pleased with my candour, but I shrugged off her little lecturing.

I filled her in as best as I could. I knew there were some things I couldn’t tell her though. No matter how desperate I was for her advice, I kept quiet about Jiyong. It felt like a secret. It felt like a bit more than a secret.

“Shout out to the things we know are sacred.”

Soo-ah pouted at me.

“Yeah, yeah. You know I’ll see it all when it airs though.”

 _Not likely_. I nodded though, not wanting to fuel her curiosity.

* * *

 

The show itself was good. Being in the VIP area made more of a difference than I had expected. There were faces I recognised, and plenty of others that I didn’t. Seungri became a mess of sweat and alcohol, pulling me closer to the stage to dance amidst the crush of the crowd.

It was obvious that he had drank more than I thought he had. His hands traveled further than was strictly necessary, and he definitely didn’t leave room for the Holy Ghost between us. But I had had my share of drinks as well and justified it to myself. _I was supposed to end up with one of them, right? Some physicality was expected._

It was when I felt his lips on my shoulder that I withdrew from the dance floor. The reprieve was temporary. I had enough time to get myself a cup of water and start a polite conversation with Donghyuk and Bobby before Seungri found me.

I felt an arm wrap around my shoulder, and Seungri spoke into my ear.

“Come with me.”

A hazy alert went off in my mind.

“Where?”

“Just come talk with me.”

I was suspicious, to say the least, but I also felt a little reckless. My emotional outburst earlier weighed on my mind. Somehow, taking whatever risk this might be seemed redemptive.

_That might have been the alcohol talking. But who says alcohol is always wrong? Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?_

I let Seungri tug me away from the others. He was clearly heading towards the green room area.

“Where are you guys going?”

It was a woman’s voice. I had seen her around, but couldn’t remember her name.

“It’s just so loud out here. I want to take a break for a minute.”

“Oppa,” she rolled her eyes, “since when do you take breaks from parties?”

“I’m getting old Jisoo.”

Jisoo scoffed, but turned away without further questioning.

* * *

 

The bustle of the club was muted nearly to silence when Seungri shut the door of the green room. He went straight to the small fridge, pulling a bottle of water out.

“You okay?”

“I’m good,” he passed the bottle to me, “I just wanted you to myself for a second.”

I smiled at him warmly. He had a slightly pouty expression, and looked tired.

Seungri sank onto one of the beige sofas that littered the room.

“Do you want to head out soon?”

“No, no,” he shook his head, “I’m fine. Come here.”

I let him pull me over to him. In a way, it seemed like a repeat of the norraebang night; I was standing between his legs, and he rested his head against my stomach. The scent of soju mixed with his cologne and my perfume. I brushed my fingers through his hair, drawing a small hum from him.

“We don’t have to stay out all night though.”

“I don’t mind staying here as long as you want to.”

He shifted, looking up at me, his chin nestled just over my belly button. He looked so soft.

“I want to kiss you.”

I chuckled, my stomach bouncing slightly. He must have taken it as a good sign.

He slid his hands down from where they had been latched around my waist. Tugging gently, Seungri clearly wanted me on his lap.

I paused. Jiyong, Seungri… even Seunghyun’s warning skirted through my mind. But he looked so soft, and we had eluded the cameras…

Straddling his legs worked my skirt up slightly, but there was enough fabric that it didn’t seem too indecent. I didn’t have much time to worry about the skirt though. As soon as the backs of my thighs met the tops of Seungri’s, he was winding his hands into my hair.

“I really want to kiss you. A lot.”

“Okay.”

It became clear how drunk he was. Soft lips moving lazily across mine, warmth being the only thing being exchanged.

As an experiment, I tugged on his lip with my teeth.

The floodgates opened. In an instant he had turned us, pressing me back into the seat cushions. I let out a small shriek of laughter.

“Yah! Seungri what a-”

His lips silenced me. His hand was tracing the hem of my shirt. After a moment he pulled back from the kiss.

 _God he was pretty._ His hair was hanging in his face, having worked itself clear of the pomade.

I traced my fingertip over his eyebrow before sliding my hand to the back of his neck.

He dipped down, pecking the corner of my lips, my cheek, the edge of my jaw, then settling on the vein of my neck. His hand was slowly grazing further up my side, raising my shirt with it.

“Seungri w-”

“I want you,” he interrupted, “so much.”

“We can’t do this.”

His second hand had found the edge of my skirt.

“Nobody will come back here.”

I clasped my hand over his wrist, stopping his attempts at disrobing me.

“Seungri. I don’t think thi-”

He cut me off with another kiss.

That sent me into full alert. His hand was working free of my grip. Clearly, Seungri was on a mission. I pushed against him, trying to get some space between us, but he gripped my wrist in return, pinning it to the sofa next to me.

I worked my lips free of his.

“Seungri stop. You’re hurting me.”

“I won’t hurt you.”

“You are hurting me.”

“It’s fine babe. It’ll be fine.”

_Oh fuck this._

I used the second thing I had ever learned in Tae Kwon Do and he ended up on his back on the small table, cracking and flattening it in the process.

There was a knock on the door as Seungri and I stared at each other. I rubbed my wrist where he had grabbed it. He decided to break the silence.

“Luna…”

“Don’t,” I stood and hustled towards the door, “just don’t talk, Seungri.”

The knocking was persistent, but cut off when I opened the door. Junhoe stood there, looking confused.

“I thought I heard something…”

“Yeah, uh, it’s nothing,” I glanced back at Seungri pulling himself to standing and quickly pulled the door shut behind me.

Desperately tucking my building panic down, I flashed a smile at Junhoe.

“Do you know where Mino is?”

* * *

 

Junhoe showed me to where Mino was taking pictures with various people. He quickly threw his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into a picture.

Not trusting my face, I feigned embarrassment and covered it with my hands.

“Ah, noona, don’t be like that!” Bobby frowned at his phone.

“Yeah, I like seeing your face,” Mino not so smoothly followed up.

I bit my cheek and crossed my arms, feeling cold somehow inside the packed venue.

“Cool. Uh…”

Mino, blessedly intuitive, stepped back from the crowd with me. His eyebrows dipped.

“What’s up?”

“I just… uh… I don’t feel so great, suddenly. And I don’t think Seungri is okay to drive.”

“Here,” Mino took my arm and directed me back towards the hallway that lead to the green room.

“You can borrow my jacket, and call a cab from…”

His words dropped off with my refusal to go back there. I didn’t know exactly what to do. I just knew that I couldn’t go back to that room, especially if Seungri was back there still.

 _Seungri_. I shivered slightly at the thought of him.

“What’s wrong?”

It was a simple question. I just stared at Mino for a moment, trying to work out an answer to such a simple question.

“I… I can’t go back there.”

Mino quirked his head.

“Why not? Sure you can. You’re VIP.”

“No,” I shook my head, “it’s not that. Seungri is back there.”

I gripped my arms around myself a little tighter as I said it.

Mino stripped his sweatshirt off in response, tugging it over my body.

“Did you guys get in an argument?”

I could feel a pinch of self-loathing plant itself over relying on someone younger for help. I distracted myself by stretching my arms through the sweatshirt.

“No. I…” I paused again, having caught Mino’s eye.

His hands rubbed my arms slightly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can I trust you?”

Mino went still. He took his hands off of me, then took a step back.

“Yes.”

“To keep secrets? To not ask questions?”

“Of course,” he nodded.

My nose started tingling. I blinked.

“I need to get out of here, and I need to not see Seungri when I go. And I don’t think I can go back to the hotel.”

“What did Seu…” Mino paused, then sighed, “let me make a call. In the meantime, you can wait in a private room.”

* * *

 

The room was obviously for private parties. The walls were maroon, and a dark wooden bar lined one wall. There were barstools and a billiards table as well.

“Help yourself to the bar,” Mino said as he shut the door behind us. Without a question, I reached out and pulled up a bottle and a cup.

Mino paced while he was on the phone. I barely paid attention to his conversation as I looked at the pictures of celebrities behind the bar. I swished some scotch between my teeth and tuned in for a second.

“… yes hyung… we’re in the red room right now… I’m not sure…”

I laughed at myself. Here I was, trusting my safety to someone who was even more of a stranger to me than Seungri.

 _Seungri_.

I worked the pour spout out of the bottle and decided to ignore the glass.

“Alright, just call me when you get here.”

Mino hung up and settled onto the barstool next to me. He watched my attempt at drowning all semblance of emotion.

“That good, huh? I guess I should start too.”

He stood on the rung of his stool and plucked a bottle from behind the bar as well.

“You don’t have to drink with me.”

“Eh, but think how bad it would look. Getting outdrank by a white girl?”

I snorted, letting my head fall to the bar. I watched Mino drink, his neck flexing smoothly.

“Sorry.”

“What for?”

“This is your show. You should be out there partying.”

Mino shook his head.

“Not when one of my friends is having a problem.”

I laughed again, propping my head up on my hand just enough to allow myself to drink.

“What’s funny about that?”

“We’re friends?”

“Sure.”

I couldn’t think of a snappy comment, so I returned to the bottle.

* * *

 

We sat in a stupor for a while. I was practically asleep when some commotion started at the door.

The handle jiggled, then was followed by knocking and a familiar voice.

“Luna? Luna are you in here? Seungri called me. Aish!”

Mino stood, but stopped.

“You want me to let him in?”

I heaved a sigh.

“Sure.”

The door rebounded against the wall as soon as Mino unlocked it. Jiyong ignored him, instead zeroing in on me.

“Luna! Are you okay? Jesus,” he hugged me, “how much have you had to drink?”

“What are you doing here?” I grumbled the question through his hug.

“Seungri called me. He said he messed up.”

Mino stood to the side and watched as Jiyong directed me back to a stool. Once I had sat down, Jiyong knelt down. He slid his backpack off and dug around in it.

“Seungri seemed pretty upset.”

“Good.”

Jiyong glanced up at me, but shook his head and stayed silent. I saw Mino cock his head at my gruff response.

Jiyong unclasped my silly high heels. He had tugged some low-top chucks out of his bag and slid them onto my feet. After quickly lacing them up, he stood.

“Alright,” he looked at Mino, “I’ll take care of this. Go.”

“No,” I interrupted, shaking my head, “I want Mino here. Mino’s helping.”

“Helping? It looked like he was getting you drunk.”

“Hyung, I wa-”

“Yah, Jiyong!” I stood up, pushing Jiyong back with my hand. “Mino isn’t the one to worry about. He hasn’t touched me. He didn’t…”

I felt the heat on my nose and the pressure behind my eyes. I raised my hand to cover my eyes.

“Just go take care of Seungri, Jiyong. I’ll take care of myself.”

I felt Jiyong’s fingertips trace my wrist.

“Jagi… what happened? Where’s your bracelet?”

I hadn’t even noticed that the bracelet was gone. I wasn’t particularly surprised though. I quickly hid my hands behind my back.

“I… I can’t talk about it. Not right now,” I stared Jiyong down, trying to express just how much I wasn’t ready to talk yet. “We can talk tomorrow, okay?”

Jiyong chewed his lip, looking me over. Finally, he nodded.

“Fine. Promise me that you’ll call me if you have to, okay? Even if you don’t want to.”

I nodded, staring at my shoes to avoid his eyes.

“Okay. Thanks for the shoes.”

“Of course.”

He brushed my hair back and briefly pressed his lips to my forehead, then turned to Mino.

“Hallway.”

Mino nodded energetically, pulling the door open.

“Yes hyung.”

I turned back to the bottle as they went to go have their man-talk. In my head I made up a mock conversation between them. Jiyong threatening Mino, Mino not arguing, etc. etc.

When Mino stepped back into the room he looked ruffled.

“Alright, I think Jiyong-hyung is goi- woah hey!”

Mino pulled the bottle from my hand. He put it on the counter, positioning himself as a barrier.

“Yaaahhh… I’m trying to forget here.”

Mino pushed the bottle further away from me, shaking his head at me.

“Nope,” Mino grabbed the sleeves of the sweatshirt, “not like that. Not anymore right now.”

He tied the sleeves in a knot.

I wriggled my arms experimentally. I could have just pulled the sweatshirt off but that felt like too much work. I sighed, pouting up at Mino.

“No fair. You should listen to your elders.”

Mino chuckled, patting my hair down.

“And you should listen to your friends. No more drinking right now, okay?”

“Fine,” I relented, flopping my head down onto the bar. “When can we leave?”

Mino pulled the hood of the sweatshirt over my head, tucking one side of it under my cheek.

“Hyung will be here soon.”

* * *

 

“Noona… come on.”

Mino was waking me up from my bar nap.

“Here. Just loop like this… hyung can you get her hood up?”

I was groggily aware that I was being lifted onto Mino’s back. Someone pulled the hood of the sweatshirt up over my face.

I nuzzled my head against Mino’s back.

Fuzzy voices and music floated around me, but I was safe in the hood cave. I could hear some voices I recognised. Bobby, Jinhwan, Hanbin… but actually listening to their words was too much work.

The noise faded as we left. The night air hit my legs and I shivered against Mino.

“You okay?”

“Sorry.”

“Stop that.”

“Sorry.”

I heard a third person laugh. _Mino’s hyung_.

“Here, can you stand? Careful.”

I was slid off of Mino’s back onto concrete. I mentally thanked god for Jiyong bringing me flats.

That third voice sounded again, urging Mino to be careful. I was directed into the back seat of a car. Mino untied my sleeves and gave me his beanie to rest on.

“Lay down noona. Hyung, give me your jacket.”

A warm layer was spread over me. It smelled like leather oil and expensive cologne. I pulled it up to my chin, groaning.

“Sorry.”

“Yah, noona, I told you to stop that. Just rest okay? We’ll leave in a second.”

I heard the door shut, followed by muffled conversation outside.

* * *

 

The next thing I remembered was being woken up. A hand shook my arm slightly.

“We’re here.”

My brain was full of mud. I rubbed my eyes, looking around. I didn’t recognise where I was. My eyes were blurry with makeup. My heart jumped, panic taking hold.

“Mino? Where’s Mino?”

“He’s setting up a bed for you.”

“Who…” I rubbed my eyes until they cleared. “Zico?”

He smiled sheepishly.

“Jiho is fine.”

I tugged Mino’s beanie onto my head. I couldn’t think clearly, but one question remained.

“Where are we?”

“My studio. You can sleep here, and no one will bother you.” Zico, Jiho, held a hand out to me. “Come on. It’s really okay.”

I stared at him, wondering how I had gotten myself into this situation. I shook my head slowly.

“I…” I took a second to organise my words, but ended up sounding a little rude, “I don’t know you. I’ll wait for Mino to come back.”

Thankfully, Jiho didn’t seem offended. He laughed it off and nodded.

“Alright. You want me to go ahead?”

“No!”

I might not have known him very well, but I still didn’t want to be alone.

We stood next to his car in silence. Our breath and shuffling feet was the only noise. I kicked at some non-existent gravel.

“What are you going to do about it?”

“Hmm?” I looked up at Jiho. He glanced over at me for just a moment before clearing his throat and looking up at the building next to us.

“I don’t know what happened, but it obviously wasn’t good. And right now you probably don’t want to think about it, but you have to have a plan.”

I hunkered deeper into the sweatshirt and jacket, then realised something. I shrugged the jacket off.

“Here, y-”

“You need it more than me. I’m basically a furnace anyway.”

I pulled it back on, still a bit precarious from my earlier drinking binge. I was exhausted, emotionally, mentally, physically.

“My plan is to sleep, for now. I guess I’ll have to talk to Jiyong tomorrow.”

Jiho didn’t acknowledge my words, except to dig his hands deeper into his pockets.

Soon, Mino came out of the building.

“The place is pretty quiet. I don’t think there will be any pictures or anything. Luna, just keep your hood up, okay?”

I nodded, then stuck my hand out. Mino looked at it. I wriggled my fingers.

“I’m tired. Show me.”

I caught a lifted eyebrow on Jiho as Mino took my hand. _Whatever._ I was too tired to care,  and definitely too tired to be an adult.

* * *

 

I was led to a small room with a plush sofa. Jiho dug a blanket out from somewhere, and Mino tucked it over me. One of them set three bottles of water on the table.

Mino crouched next to the sofa and brushed my hair back from my face.

“You can lock the door from the inside. One of us will be in the other room if you need anything, okay?”

I nodded, feeling small and inconvenient.

“Thank you. Sorry again.”

“Hey, stop that. I don’t mind, and neither does Jiho. Just sleep for now, okay?”

I locked the door after him and settled back into the oversized cushions. My brain floated over Seungri’s actions.

I berated myself for being so dumb. He had clearly been drunk, and turned on. Following him to a private space, sitting on his lap, letting him kiss me… there were a hundred spots where I could have turned things around.

“I didn’t make him do that,” I whispered to myself. “I’m not responsible for anyone else’s actions.”

It was a mantra that I had learned through years of therapy. I knew it by heart. I knew it in my brain. Still, emotional habits are the hardest to break.

* * *

 

My mouth was dry, and tasted awful. I groped around, desperate for hydration. One bottle was chugged down in less than a minute. Once the urgency was pushed back, I tried to grasp my situation a little clearer.

 _Bathroom._ There had to be a bathroom around. I tried to open the door but it wouldn’t budge. I tried it again. Nothing.

Forget the bathroom, I just wanted to get out at that point. A third try on the handle left me crouching in front of the door trying not to sob.

“Okay, Luna, think,” I rubbed my temples, talking aloud to jog my brain into gear.

“Mino. Mino brought me here and he said… fucking idiot.”

I looked up at the knob, now eye level with me. I twisted the little button and tried the handle again. The button popped out, and the door swung open.

Standing up, I peeked out into the next room. Jiho was sitting, working on a computer. The screen illuminated his features, casting stark shadows on the wall behind him. He was totally absorbed, lost in his work and his headphones.

Mino was asleep in a chair. I felt bad. The angle he rested at would definitely take its toll on his neck and back when he woke up.

I crept behind Jiho, and past Mino. I had bothered them enough tonight. The least I can do was find the bathroom by myself.

* * *

 

I looked a mess. My makeup was smeared from sleeping, my skin was flaking from lack of moisturiser, and my hair looked… well, actually my hair looked passable.

I made quick use of paper towels and water to try to undo some of the damage. Soon enough, I was looking ruddy and irritated, but my pores were as clear as I could get them.

I traced my way back to the door that had a yellow sticky on it that had a sketch of what looked a little like a turtle puppy on it. Most of the doors had some sort of decoration on them. Each one was obviously rented by an artist of one kind or another.

For the second time, I was faced with a locked door. Obviously, the outer doors automatically locked when closed. Of course. That made sense. I hadn’t thought to prop it open or anything though.

I knocked on the door, groaning internally. Jiho had his headphones on, but maybe they weren’t turned up too loud. Of course, if I musician rented a studio space, they probably chose them for their quietness.

I knocked again. And again. Then progressed to an open handed pounding.

I was about to switch to fists when it swung open.

Mino looked bleary eyed and ruffled. His hair stuck up at odd angles. He yawned, rubbing his face as he stepped aside to let me in. Jiho was precisely where I had last seen him.

“Where’d you go?”

“Bathroom. Look,” I moved through the space, grabbing my purse and making sure I had my phone and everything, “I should go back to the hotel. I’m sorry for all the hassle. I’ll grab a taxi or, well I guess the trains might be running by now.”

“Yah, wait.”

Mino pulled my purse from my hands and set it back onto the table with the rest of the water. He poked his head out to check on Jiho, then pulled the door between the two rooms shut.

“Are you sure you want to go back there?”

“It’s where the staff and everyone is. If I’m going to resolve this, that’s where I need to be.”

Mino chewed his thumbnail, apparently thinking hard.

“What about your apartment?”

I shrugged, “what about it?”

“Noona, I don’t know what happened,” he looked exasperated, “but if it was even half as bad as I think it was, I don’t feel comfortable sending you back there.”

I rolled my eyes, lifting my purse and tugging the door open.

“I can take care of myself.”

“I…” Mino rubbed his face, eyebrows clenching. He moved to block me, slamming the door shut again.

“I’m not saying you can’t! I’m just trying to help you! Don’t you get it? The company owns you until the show is over! If you don’t start standing up for yourself they’ll just take advantage of you until you’re too worn down for them to squeeze anything else out of you!”

“So what am I supposed to do Mino?!”

“Maybe you two should make out instead of shouting at each other,” a muffled voice suggested through the door.

“Mino-yah! It’s five in the morning. If you’re not going to make a move then let her go home.”

For a beat of silence, I thought Mino might actually take Jiho’s advice.

Mino shook his head and clicked his tongue instead, muttering about his friend’s timing. I took my chance to escape.

Pulling the door open I nearly ran into Jiho. His headphones were around his neck now. Somehow, he didn’t seem tired at all.

“I’m going.”

“I’ll drive.”

“Hyung…”

“I know, I know,” Jiho waved his hand and turned away. He picked up his keys, “let’s go.”

* * *

 

The drive was awkward, but not exactly quiet. Mino fell asleep as soon as he hit the back seat, but Jiho kept trying to make conversation. It was alright, but then he ran out of pointless topics.

We were stopped at a red light when he handed me a crumpled slip of paper.

“Here, don’t lose this. Mino is trying his best to win points. And if my friend cares what happens, then I care what happens.”

I smoothed out the slip. It was an old business card.

“Sturdy.”

Jiho laughed, throwing his car into gear as the light changed.

“Cute. But I’m serious now, and I was serious before. You need a plan. Mino means well but he gets a little excited. So that,” he nodded towards the card, “is for if you need straight forward advice.”

“No one,” I scoffed, “in this world is straight forward.”

Jiho shrugged.

“I will be. There’s no reason for me to be political with you.”

“And why should I believe that?”

“Because I don’t want anything from you. If I did, I’d probably already have it.”

I rolled my eyes and leaned against the cool glass of the window. Jiho was certainly full of himself.

I caught a glimpse of Mino in the side mirror. He slept with his mouth just barely hanging open. Usually, people look younger when they sleep, but Mino looked a little older somehow. Maybe it was because his makeup was smudged.

When we arrived at the hotel, Jiho shook me awake. He held a finger to his lips, urging me to be quiet. Mino was still asleep.

I nodded my thanks and got out of the car. To my surprise, Jiho followed me.

“Ah… thanks for your help tonight.”

“I lied to you, earlier.”

I felt my brow dip while I tried to work out what he was talking about.

“I’m not a nice guy that’s helping out of the goodness of my heart.”

Jiho obviously noted my step backward, and the way I tightened my grip on my bag. He raised his hands, supplicating.

“Not like that. I just mean, well,” he dug his hands into his pockets and chewed his lip.

“I’m thoughtless, and all I focus on is my work, and I don’t go out very often, and I don’t have very many friends, and sometimes I’m a bit of an asshole.”

“Um… okay?” I couldn’t work out why he was telling me this, or what it had to do with helping me.

“After my last birthday, I told myself that I should get to know more people. That I should experience human life more. So that’s why I’m offering to help you out.”

He had essentially broken down why people have friends into an emotionless phrase.

“So… what part was the lie?”

“Ha,” he smiled. For a second he looked like the boy he was.

“Well, I guess I didn’t lie, did I? I just wasn’t completely honest at first.”

“I guess,” I shrugged, “but only technically.”

“Sure. Sure. Well,” he turned to clamber back into his car, “I guess I’ll be going now. Good luck.”

“Jiho!”

He stopped, one foot inside the car.

“Uh… can you… just tell Mino I said thanks? And t-”

“And that you’re sorry? No. I’ll tell him you said thanks though.”

With that, he was in the car and pulling into the starting early morning traffic.

“So much for honesty,” I muttered to myself.

I glanced at my phone. Nearly six in the morning. Not enough time on earth to be ready for tomorrow… today.

* * *

 

I crossed the lobby, not caring much about the curious looks from the hotel staff. They worked in hospitality, this could hardly be the strangest thing they’ve seen.

Had I had more energy, I would have spent the elevator ride thinking over the night. As I didn’t have any energy to spare, I instead dozed against the wall until the ding roused me into motion.

I dragged my feet across the honeycomb carpet. I barely got the keycard into the doorknob. I didn’t remember getting undressed or into bed.


	12. Seungri: Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna stays inside. Everyone has a god damn opinion. Lightning may not strike twice, but culture shock does.

I heard my phone going off. Dehydrated and groggy, I rolled over and fished around for my purse. Finally detangling my phone from the small bag, I answered it on speakerphone.

"What is it Jiyong?"

"I called an emergency practice. At least that's the story for the schedule change. Where are you?"

I groaned. All business, this one.

"I'm in bed."

I heard a huff through the speaker.

"Well that's good, but where's the bed?"

"In my hotel room."

"You're here?" He sounded surprised.

"Yeah. Ji..." I cleared my throat before finishing my sentence. I quickly weighed honesty against politics. Honesty won. "Jiho and Mino dropped me off this morning. Look," I became aware of a tell-tale sensation between my legs, "can I actually call you right back?"

"What? Why?"

I groaned.

"It's girl stuff. I'll call you right back."

I hung up before he could complain. Grabbing a pair of underwear from my open drawer, I ran for the bathroom.

Thirty minutes and a shower later, I stood in the plush bathrobe that I had already decided to steal from the hotel.

I dialled Jiyong and started sifting through clothes.

"Finally! What took so long?"

"I told you, girl stuff. So what did Seungri tell you about last night?"

A beat of silence was the only response. Then I heard Jiyong sigh.

"Hold on."

I heard a door and some movement type sounds. Another door sound.

"Why don't you tell me your version?"

"My version?" I scoffed, "fuck you Jiyong. We're doing this my way if you want it to stay quiet."

I knew it was a risky move, putting the company in this position. But Mino and Jiho were probably right. I needed to take control.

"What are you talking about? As far as anyone knows, all that happened was that you two got too drunk."

That felt like a punch to the gut.

"Fuck you! You know that's not true Jiyong."

"No, Luna, listen. I'm saying this as your friend, okay?"

I rolled my eyes, then regretted it. Headache incoming.

"Fine."

"You don't mean anything to YG, or any of the other companies involved in this show. If something goes wrong they will bury you to save their interests. You're disposable, Seungri isn't. So work with me here."

_Fuck. I should have thought of that._

I gave up on choosing clothes. Sitting on my bed, I stared at the dresser blankly.

_How was I supposed to stand up for myself? Jiyong was right. I bet YG had an entire department built to cover this type of thing up. I was a speck of dust facing a well oiled machine._

"Luna? Luna? I'm going to help you as much as I can but you have to play by the rules."

He sounded like a lawyer.

"What are the rules?"

* * *

 

> _**To: SOOOO AH!  
> ** **Where'd you get to last night?** _
> 
> **From: SOOOOO AH!  
> ** **Promise not to tell anyone?**

I chuckled darkly at that. I sincerely doubted she could beat my night as far as scandals went.

> _**To: SOOOOO AH!  
> ** **Of course.** _
> 
> **From: SOOOOO AH!  
> ** **So there was this guy that kept buying me drinks, right?**

The short version was that Soo-Ah had gotten laid by some random. The slightly longer version involved the random getting upset when he realised that she wasn't famous at all.

I wanted to be interested. I really did, but I had my own shit to deal with.

* * *

 

Jiyong had told me to stay in my room until he got back. I resented it, but didn't really see a better option. Now that I could consider all sides a bit more soberly, I was able to weigh out options and overthink things.

If I went out, I'd maybe be recognised. If I was recognised, I might be approached. If I was approached, I might be asked questions.

And what if there were pictures or rumours from last night floating around? Anyone at the club could have seen Mino and me go to a private room. Anyone at the club or outside could have seen Jiho and Mino leave with me. Mino had said that the studio had been clear, but how could he be sure? What if someone saw Jiho drop me off this morning? We hadn't interacted physically that I could remember, but it had to look bad anyway.

I hated it, but Jiyong had a point. Even if I was worth saving, to an outsider it would look like I was trying to divert from my own bad behaviour.

So I laid on the sofa. I watched Futurama. I wrote a bunch of stuff in my journal. I thought about going to the gym, but even that felt too exposed right now.

I was dozing off to Bender's Big Score when my phone sounded.

> **From: Bobby  
> ** **Where are you? Let's hang out.**

He must not know anything.

> _**To: Bobby  
> ** **I'm grounded. Don't you have stuff to do anyway?** _
> 
> **From: Bobby  
> ** **Sure. But something is going on with BB.**
> 
> **From: Bobby  
> ** **They're acting all weird, it's messing with everyone.**
> 
> **From: Bobby  
> ** **How are you grounded? You're a grownup.**

I chuckled at that. He wasn't wrong.

> _**To: Bobby  
> ** _ _**Let's just say... I know why they're acting strange.** _

I could practically feel it coming. Bobby did exactly what I suspected.

"Yeoboseyo?"

"Noonaaaah! What happened?! Why are you grounded? What'd you do?"

"Won a contest."

" _Come on just tell me._ "

I bit my lip. _Could I trust him to keep quiet? Could I trust anyone?_ There was something about him switching to English that made him seem trustworthy. Like we were speaking some secret code.

_"There was a problem last night. I probably shouldn't talk about it."_

I heard him hum, then click his tongue.

_"It was Seungri, right? He tried some shit? I knew he was drinking too much."_

_"You knew?"_ I sat up, _"what do you mean you knew? Why does everyone act like this was some obvious thing? If everybody saw this coming, why didn't you fucking tell me?!"_

_"Yaaaah... noonaaaah... it's not like that. I'm sure that no o-"_

_"No! Fuck you Bobby! Fuck you, fuck Jiyong, fuck Seungri, fuck all of you! I was able to get out in time but what if I hadn't?"_

I was met with quiet. I heard Bobby clear his throat.

_"What if I hadn't been able to leave Bobby? You might feel like it's not your place to intervene, but who fucking cares?"_

"Noona..."

_"Would you be okay with it? If something worse had happened and you knew you could have done something?"_

I stopped, waiting for some sort of reply. Bobby cleared his throat again, delaying.

_"Well?"_

_"Nothing happened though, right? It's fine."_

My eyes fluttered shut, forming a poor barrier to the sting building there. I raised my free hand to my forehead, hoping that Bobby was just an idiot.

_"It's not fine, Jiwon. I thought I was building some friendships. I thought I was meeting good people. Or at least average people. People that wouldn't just let something like this happen."_

_"I wouldn't!"_

_"You did."_

_"I didn't know that you two had gone somewhere! It was my show! I was performing and I had to do stupid networking and selfies!"_

_"You still could have warned me! You could have fucking said something!"_

_"I thought you knew! I figured Jiyong-hyung or T.O.P-hyung would have warned you!"_

Jiyong's voice floated through my head, followed closely by Seunghyun's.

 

> "Seungri gets impatient sometimes."
> 
>  
> 
> “You need to be careful of making famous friends. You’re just another fan, and they’ll expect you to be… compliant.”
> 
>  

I groaned. If that's their idea of a warning...

_"Why does nobody just say things straight forwardly?"_

"I'm sorry noona."

I sighed, slouching back into the sofa.

"I have to go Jiwon. I'm... exhausted."

"Wait, um... does Mino know what happened?"

"Sort of. I don't know. Junhoe might have actually heard something."

"Shit. Okay. Noona, I... I'm sorry. This shouldn't have happened. I don't know what can be done. But I should talk to Junhoe and Seungyoon."

"What? Why?"

"Ah, come on. I don't want anyone to get crushed by the bulldozer."

* * *

 

I had had days like this, sort of. I had had days where I couldn't figure out what to do with myself. I hadn't had many where I had no options. It was like a sick day, without the sore throat.

Around three in the afternoon, I finally gave in to my boredom. Jiyong had left a few simple face masks with me at one point, so I slipped a black one over my face and tugged my shoes on.

The mask, and my headphones, created an insulated barrier for me in public. I don't know if I was truly able to seep into the background or if people were just being polite, but it was a relief either way. If I was recognised, nobody said anything.

For a few hours I was just Luna. Just a foreigner. Just some expat.

A few simple groceries and I was back in the suite. I had formulated a plan. Well, maybe not a plan, but a... something. A plan-lette.

Better yet, I had gotten Daesung to agree.

Jiyong called around half past six. Pretty good timing, all things considered.

"Daesung said you wanted to talk when we get back?"

"Mm, in my room if that's okay. With Seungri."

There was a hissing noise.

"I don't know if that's a good idea."

"There's a few more days left, right? Unless they're cancelling the show, something needs to be done."

"I know, I know," Jiyong sighed, "I'm pretty sure there's no way the show will be cancelled."

"I figured. When will you be back?"

"In an hour. Maybe ninety minutes."

"Alright. I'll see you then."

* * *

 

My budget was substantially smaller than the last grocery trip I had taken, but I thought I still did alright.

I wanted to open up the wine early. Start drinking to take the edge off. But I had to keep as much edge as possible.

Instead, I channelled my nervous energy into precision. Every time my knife came down was exactly one centimetre from the last slice. Every measuring spoon was levelled better than the paintings on the suite's walls.

I ignored a call from an old coworker. I ignored a call from Mino. Confused, I answered a call from a number I didn't recognise.

"Yeoboseyo?"

"You should go through your SNS and take out your phone number."

"Who is this?"

The voice sounded familiar, but voices always do through a phone.

"It's Jiho. You went to a vocational school?"

"What are you even looking at?"

"Facebook. How did it go today?"

"Boring. I was grounded. The boys were at YG all day."

"You sound good. Do you have a plan yet?"

"Mm, I'm having Daesung, Seungri, and Jiyong over for dinner to talk."

"I understand Seungri and Jiyong, but why Daesung?"

"Mediator."

"Wouldn't Jiyong be the mediator?"

"Between Seungri and I, sure. But I thought we might need someone between Seungri and Jiyong. And," I clicked off the stovetop, "Daesung seems to be able to relax people."

"Well out of the five of them, I guess he's probably the one I'd trust. Hey, what should I tell Mino?"

"What do you mean?"

"He's stressing out over it. He called me when you didn't answer his call."

"Nothing? I don't know. I'll call him later."

"He's going to ask questions."

"Fine. Tell him I'm..." I sighed, trying to think of anything, "I don't know. Tell him I'm trying to be an adult? I'm dealing with it."

Jiho was quiet for a moment.

"Are you dealing with it?"

"I have to, don't I?"

* * *

 

Daesung was the first to my room. He sat at the edge of one of the wooden chairs in the kitchen and dining area. I went over my idea with him.

"All in all, I'm stuck, right? I'm under contract for the duration of the show. Usually this would be the sort of thing that I would deal with in a one on one conversation, but because of all these cameras and paperwork I don't really have that option."

"Sure you do."

I rolled my eyes and perched up on the counter.

"Come on Daesung. Do you seriously think that everyone would just let things go? The company alone wou-"

"The company?" Daesung shook his head. "No one except for us know. Jiyong locked it down today."

"What do you mean?"

Daesung shrugged.

"He shut it down. He picked up Seungri, he stopped him from talking. He did what he does."

"Okay..." I made a split second evaluation of Daesung. "What does he do?"

"Jiyong is a problem solver," Daesung shrugged. "He'll work through ten scenarios before ordering his coffee so that he gets the best outcome."

I popped down from my seat on the counter and took the chair opposite Daesung.

"So how does that apply to this situation?"

Daesung explained what had been going on all day.

Jiyong had dragged Seungri into their practice room that morning. Daesung assumed that there had been a lot of scolding and interrogation, but Jiyong hadn't called the rest of the group in until after lunch time.

"And he just told you all what happened?"

"Well he didn't give us details. I'm still not a hundred percent sure what happened actually. But Jiyong explained that Seungri had done something offensive enough that you had refused to return to the hotel with them."

"That's one way to put it," I scoffed.

Daesung looked curious, but he didn't press me to explain. After a minute, he continued.

"Jiyong went through as many options as he could come up with with us. So now we're here."

"And where is here?"

Daesung shrugged, gesturing at the kitchenette.

"Feeling out your reaction, letting you decide if you want the company involved."

That was Jiyong's grand plan? To let me take the lead? I knew I didn't know him very well yet, but that seemed out of character for him.

"What about Mino and Bobby? Or Junhoe?"

"Jiyong talked to them," Daesung waved off my worried tone. "Nobody is going to say anything to anyone."

"But YG..."

"We all say that YG is like a family in interviews, right?"

"I guess so."

"Every family has kids hiding stuff from their parents."

This was too convenient. This felt all wrong. If Jiyong had taken care of everything already then why did he say all that stuff about the company to me? Why did he seem so opposed to doing what I wanted to do about it earlier? Then he just decided to go along with what I wanted? There had been a few hours between the call and now but it still seemed strange.

Daesung stood up, smiling.

"It looks like you won't need me here after all."

"Oh!" I stood automatically, "but dinner..."

"Don't worry about that. We'll have a whole week to have dinners."

I felt my face heat up at his words, but I wasn't sure why. It wasn't even a flirtatious thing! He was just stating a fact. We would have an entire wee-

"Cute. I'll just have to have you cook for me then."

_Why does it sound like that when he says it?!_

"Yeah, sure, of course. Thanks for being upfront about this. Everyone else seems to always go in circles."

Daesung left, somehow making me feel both relaxed and jittery in the process. In my little bit of time alone I thought over what he had said.

I knew that I would have individual time with each of the other members, but I hadn't really thought about it. Things had been so comfortable with Seungri until last night, I almost didn't want to see the others. It felt wrong somehow. I wasn't dating any of them, but I had already kissed two of them. There was nothing official, sure, but I had tried to date multiple people casually before and had already discovered that it wasn't really my style.

_Wait..._

I shook my head, There was so much going on I couldn't even worry about the right things anymore.

* * *

 

I went to find some pain relievers for the headache that was building up in my ears.

“I must have been clenching my teeth all day.”

My reflection didn't answer. I opened my mouth as wide as it would go, hoping to stretch some of the tension out of my jaw and head.

“Luna?”

_Damn it._ Just because he had a spare key didn't mean he could just walk in like he owned the place.

“In here.”

“You're always in your bathroom when I come up.”

“Maybe you just have bad timing.”

“Are you decent?”

I leaned out into the hallway, rubbing my cheeks.

“Since when do you give a shit about my privacy?”

For the first time, Jiyong actually looked embarrassed. Truly embarrassed. He shook it off quickly though, regaining his usual expression of bemusement.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to prevent a headache. Where's Seungri?”

“Ah, I, uh, I wanted a chance to talk to you before he comes. I told him to wait until I texted him.”

I narrowed my eyes and gave up on rubbing away the tension. Rolling my neck, I passed Jiyong and curled up on my sofa.

“Daesung told me that you didn't tell any of the higher ups or managers.”

“Yes,” Jiyong sat next to me, “I thought we should try to work it out without their interference first.”

“Then why did you bother lecturing me about how disposable I am to them?”

“Here, turn.”

Jiyong faced me and motioned for me to face away from him.

“Don't give me that look. Just turn.”

I wasn't sure which look he was talking about, but I acquiesced.

“Head down, okay...”

My head seemed to soften up as he kneaded my neck and shoulders. I let

out a small groan of relief, but other than that we were both quiet.

Too quiet.

"I didn't expect you to be good at this sort of thing."

I heard him chuckle. It was closer than I expected.

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't know. You're famous, so wouldn't you be the one getting massages instead of giving them?"

He laughed again.

"I have dated before. I'm not entirely useless."

"Who said anything about dating? I give my friends back rubs all the time."

"Ah. So how do I compare to your friends?"

"I wouldn't know. I'm the masseuse. Nobody thinks to return the favour, and it's weird to ask, isn't it?"

Jiyong just hummed in response to that. Whatever that was supposed to mean. We both fell quiet again, until I couldn't stand it anymore.

"You should probably text Seungri to come up."

Jiyong's hands went still, resting on my shoulders. I felt his forehead land between my shoulder blades.

"We should talk about this first."

"Well... we do need to talk, but it can wait. I want to get this taken care of."

His head lifted and he turned me to look at him.

"I wanted to apologise. I tried to warn you but I was hung up on not wanting to badmouth Seungri. I feel like I put you in that situation because I was worried about image."

I didn't bother to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

"So you talked to Jiwon after I did, huh?"

"Does that matter? I realised my mistake. Sure, I didn't get to it on my own but I still got there."

He seemed genuinely apologetic.

"Ji..."

"I'll do better in the future," his hands squeezed my shoulders, "I'll try to remember that there might be real consequences."

I was hit by a time warp sort of feeling. I had met this group less than two weeks ago, but they were already having such an impact on my life. This man that I barely knew, this man in front of me, was promising to take care of me.

It felt like a drama.

"What if something had happened? What if I wasn't trained for self defence? Can you even imagine that Jiyong?"

Jiyong licked his lips, and I mentally chastised myself for getting distracted by it. He dropped his hold on me and slid off the sofa. Kneeling on the floor, he leaned forward onto his hands, head down.

"Yah... isn't this a bit..."

"I'll do whatever it takes for you to forgive me, Luna. As the leader, it's my job to look after my members, but as a man, and as your elder, I should look after you as well."

"Ji..."

"I reacted poorly last night, and earlier today."

"Come on this isn't..."

"Image management is one of my biggest duties, but I shouldn't put it above what is right."

I was uncomfortable and unfamiliar with what was happening. Sure, I had seen things like this in dramas, but I didn't think it happened in real life. As I worked through my culture shock, Jiyong stayed where he was.

"Get up Jiyong. If anything, it should be Seungri kneeling down there."

Jiyong looked up at me and smirked slightly.

"Seungri spent a fair amount of time kneeling today," he stood up and pulled his phone out, "but you're right."

* * *

 

When Seungri arrived, my stomach was in knots. I entered a sort of robotic mode. Everything was automatic. Thankfully, neither of the two men tried to push me in any sort of direction.

When he knocked on the door I turned to Jiyong.

"I can't do this. No, I can do this. I have to do this."

"Relax," Jiyong lifted both hands and cradled my face, tugging gently on my earlobes, "he is the one that did something wrong. He's sincerely upset too. Seunghyun made him cry."

"He cried?" I just barely hid my smile at the thought.

"Yes."

There was another knock.

"You answer the door. I'll get the food."

So Jiyong let Seungri in while I pulled the food I had made out of the oven. I was struck by how strange it was to cook for someone who had, essentially, attacked me.

I could hear low murmurs between the two in the other room as I set down plates.

"Let's eat guys."

Jiyong came in first, gentle but obviously tense. He sat in the seat that would allow him to be a barrier between Seungri and I. I sat next to him as Seungri settled across from me.

Jiyong rested his hand on mine.

"Are you sure you wa-"

"We're going to eat first. I don't care if you two are on any diets or anything, this is full of carbs. We're going to sit, and eat, and finish this bottle of wine, and then we can talk."

A small smile filtered through Jiyong's concerned look. I didn't bother to look at Seungri's response.

The boys were obviously uncomfortable. _No shit._ I made innocuous small talk through dinner. I had planned out topics beforehand, so it wasn't difficult. I talked about shows, news, anything but what had happened the night before.

Slowly, the atmosphere relaxed. In pace with the emptying wine bottle, the three of us got comfortable.

Finally, we were left with an empty bottle and empty plates. Jiyong insisted on doing the dishes, letting Seungri and I go to the living room to talk.

* * *

 

I settled into the armchair, leaving Seungri to the sofa.

"Noona..."

"I'm not that much older than you."

"You're that much maturer than me."

Silence fell between us, interrupted by the soft clatter of Jiyong cleaning up.

Finally, Seungri spoke up.

"I've been thinking all day, you know, how can I even apologise for this? Do words even exist for this?"

"You could start with the basics, I guess. But... honestly I just want to know what you thought was going to happen. How does someone think it's okay to act like that?"

"I... I don't know. I guess... I guess I thought you were just worried about getting caught? It didn't even occur to me that you might not have wa... wanted to..." Seungri ruffled his hands through his hair agitatedly. "I thought you wanted it as much as I did."

"Well, maybe I did, later. But at that place? Isn't that sort of..." I thought about how to say what I was feeling. "Does that really seem like my style? The back room at a dance club? In a way that's almost more offensive."

Seungri was quiet, head hanging in his hands.

Jiyong entered in that silence. He passed by the sofa, pausing to nudge Seungri with his foot, before perching on the armrest of my chair. He crossed his arms and watched Seungri intensely.

"Well?"

"Hyung, I-"

"You don't need to apologise to me. And do it properly."

Culture shock again. Seungri knelt, bowing his head to the floor. I resisted the urge to look up at Jiyong for a cue.

"I misunderstood the situation, and acted inappropriately and disrespectfully. I disgraced myself and you through my actions and thoughts. I... I understand if you want to..." Seungri seemed to choke on his words at this point, "... to sever ties between us, and I... I won't appear before you without your invitation."

How was I supposed to respond to that? I stared at Seungri, trying to absorb what was happening.

Jiyong nudged me with his elbow. I had to do something.

"Ji-oppa? Can you please leave us alone for a minute?"

Jiyong clicked his tongue, but disappeared down the hallway.

Seungri stayed where he was. I crouched down in front of him.

Somehow, I believed him. I believed that he had been drunk and confused. I believed that he hadn't been acting with malicious intent.

With a sigh, I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Just for information's sake, I'm not the type to do that sort of thing in public. Come on, sit up Seungri."

He kept his eyes down as he moved to just be kneeling on the floor. I wrapped my arms around my knees and cocked my head at him.

"Too bad it's just a week. Maybe it would be a mistake, but I feel like you could redeem yourself with enough time."

"Luna, I-"

I held my hand out, palm up, in front of him. Seungri finally looked up to meet my gaze.

"What?"

"Hand."

Seungri hesitantly rested his hand in mine. I grasped his tightly.

"Let's be polite. Let's... use this as a lesson, okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said you misunderstood. So... maybe you need to be a better listener. Maybe I need to be a better communicator."

He nodded, but still looked unsure of what was happening. I chuckled drily.

"Maybe you need to drink less as well."

"You want to know something stupid?"

I dropped his hand and nodded. He smiled, abashed.

"I was trying to be cool. I don't know why. I thought you'd be impressed by how well I could drink. I was trying to be manly."

I nodded again.

"I know." I stood up, offering him a hand again. "Come on. It's not late, but I'm tired."

Seungri hauled himself to his feet and fidgeted in front of me.

"What about tomorrow and Sunday?"

I shrugged. _What else could be done?_

"If you can act normal, so can I. We'll film like nothing happened."

* * *

 

Jiyong was reading a paperback, sprawled across my bed the wrong way.

As if he was my best friend, I plopped down and laid across his back.

We stayed that way, back to back, marking my mattress with a human X, for a good two minutes before either of us said anything. Our words collided.

"You're a nerd."

"Why are you in here?"

I rolled and shimmied onto my stomach next to Jiyong.

"Why am I a nerd?"

"All this sci-fi stuff."

"Yeah... I guess so."

He turned the page. Something occurred to me.

"You must be pretty fluent if you can keep up with sci-fi in English."

"Context helps. Are we not going to talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about?"

"Page 16," Jiyong mumbled before putting the book aside. He shifted onto his side. I didn't look at him, but I could feel his eyes on me. "Are you okay?"

"No lasting damage."

"Jagi..."

I sighed heavily and rolled onto my back. I shut my eyes to block out Jiyong's intense gaze.

"It's weird. I might sleep better if Mino was here."

"Mino?" I could hear the suppressed annoyance in his voice.

"Yeah. He slept on a chair last night," I laughed, "it was like having a guard dog outside my room."

Jiyong clicked his teeth.

"He can't be that good of a guard if he was sleeping."

"Maybe," I opened my eyes, not wanting to miss his reaction to the next part, "but Zico stayed awake."

I was a little disappointed. All Jiyong did was roll his eyes and roll onto his back.

After a huffy sort of groan, Jiyong responded.

"So Mino was good last night? He looked after you?"

"They both did."

"Good."

I was dozing by the time Jiyong spoke up again.

"I should get going."

I groaned, frowning with my eyes shut. I felt him move next to me.

"What's wrong?"

"I want you to stay. A little bit."

Jiyong laughed, prompting me to open one eye to glare at him.

"What?"

"You're cute. I should really go."

"Why?"

"Because you're cute when you're sleepy. I want to tuck you in but..."

I opened my other eye in curiosity. I had a suspicion of what was coming next.

"... I also want to kiss you again, and this probably isn't the best time or place."

"Makes sense, since I'm so cute." I flopped onto my side, tugging the corner of the blanket up to my shoulder. "Fine. Go to bed in your own room."

 


	13. Seungri: Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungri appeals via puppies. Luna runs into a journalist. Jiyong is jealous, needy, and shirtless. Luna is close to matching Jiyong. Feelings prove to be confusing and difficult.

An unfamiliar noise penetrated my brain. I rolled around the bed trying to locate the source. Eventually, after digging into the crevices between the bed and the bedside table, I came up with a phone that was not mine. The cases were similar, but slightly different shades.

An untitled alarm was going off. I hit the snooze option and rolled over.

Seven minutes later that noise was going off again. I groaned and silenced the device. I turned it over in my hands as my brain tried to work out what I was looking at.

Phone. Whose phone? Not mine. Who...

_Jiyong's phone._

I groaned again and dragged myself off the bed and to my closet. After throwing on some running shorts and a tank top, I made my way towards the entry.

Halfway through the living area I banged my shin on the table. Screeching out loud, I landed hard on the floor, managing to hit my elbow on the way down.

I let myself lie there, reviewing my mistakes.

Glasses. I had forgotten my glasses.

I was apparently having a tumbling day though. Better not to risk breaking them.

"Contacts."

Rolling over, I started the difficult crawl back towards the bathroom.

Once I managed to get my vision back, I felt much more capable.

_Capable of what? What had I been..._

A phone alarm went off.

_Right. Didn't I turn that off?_

I pounded my fist against Jiyong's door for what felt like forever. If I had been more awake, I would have felt bad for causing a disturbance to other guests this early in the morning.

Finally (finally!) the door squeaked just barely open. I blinked at a very pretty girl.

"Uh..."

"You... what... need?" She asked me in faltering English.

I leaned back slightly, double checking the room number.

1623, Jiyong's room. Who was this girl though?

"Kiko? Where ---- go?"

There hadn't been a chance for me to practice my Japanese for a few years, so I couldn't make out the entire conversation. I could definitely make out Jiyong's voice though.

"A girl ----- door ----"

"A girl?"

Jiyong appeared behind Kiko. Keeping my face wry, I held his phone up and wiggled it slightly.

"You left this in my room. Your alarm woke me up."

"Kiko, ----------- go."

The girl looked at Jiyong clearly confused, but did as she was told, I assumed. She disappeared into the suite, leaving Jiyong and I alone.

"Here," I held his phone out to him.

"Luna, I know how this looks. But she seriously..."

"I don't really care man,” I shrugged, “but I'm pretty sure you have my phone."

Jiyong nodded and disappeared into his suite for a second. I heard muffled voices going back and forth while I waited for him to return.

When he came back out to the hallway, he seemed a little out of breath. I held my hand out for my phone.

"Wait, Luna, this really... just let me explain wh-"

"I still don't care," I shook my head. I flexed my fingers, making a grabbing motion in the air, “phone."

"Seriously?"

I shrugged again.

"Well, I figured at least one of you would have a secret girlfriend. But now that I know about her, obviously some things are going to have to change between us." I shook my hand slightly, “phone please."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm not going to be your side piece. You can make your own mistakes but I'm not going to do something like that to some poor girl. Jesus Christ."

I stepped forward and swiped my phone from his hand. Turning on my heel, I was determined not to look back. I was pretty sure that if I did, I would break character.

I still heard Jiyong's voice behind me though.

"She's not my girlfriend! Luna..."

I exaggerated my shrug, using my hands and everything.

"Whatever man, it doesn't matter to me."

Back in my room I rolled back into my blanket. I checked my phone and saw that Soo-ah had messaged me.

> **From: Sooooo AH!  
> ** **I found some shoes that would be perfect for impressing the guys. I'll drop them off today.**

I groaned and rolled onto my back.

* * *

 About half an hour later, my phone started ringing.

"Yeoboseyo?"

"Hey, it's Seungri. About the show..."

"Ah, right, right right. Let me get dressed. Want to go for breakfast? Do you know what the weather is supposed to be like?"

Since the day was supposed to be a little dusty, we decided to go to a cafe. Seungri was jittery again, but able to pull himself together enough that I think it came across as regular date nerves.

I leaned into his shoulder while Chul made sure that he had enough tape. Keeping my voice low, I reminded him of our discussion.

"I told you that I could forgive you."

"You said it would take time. Which makes sense. I don't want you to rush it. I'm just... I'm wondering if maybe I'm not as good of a person as I thought."

I straightened up. The implication behind his words was distressing. _Or was I being overly sensitive?_

A tech approached and mic'd Seungri and I, effectively cutting the conversation short.

Needless to say, I was distracted when we approached the cafe. It vaguely registered that there was an enclosed lawn area. I thought it was strange that the outdoor area didn't have any sort of furniture.

Then I noticed the path we were walking up. It was made of stones set into the grass. Paw print shaped stones.

Looking up at the sign, I grinned.

As we entered, Seungri was bowled over by a force of grey and black bushy fur.

"Gom! No jumping!"

A distractingly tall man came hurrying over and dragged the dog off of Seungri.

"Sorry, he just got over being ill and I guess he's a little excited to be back."

Seungri laughed it off and stood up.

"No problem," he brushed down his jeans, "getting loved to death by a giant dog isn't such a bad thing."

While they had been having this exchange, I had been getting acquainted with what seemed to be an entire herd of tibbie spaniels.

The host gave me a list of names for the small dogs. I promptly forgot all of them except Wang Bi.

Wang Bi had a pink collar studded with rhinestones. She also had a pink bow clipped into her meticulously combed fur. The clip pulled the hair into a little ponytail on top of her head and I was, much to my own confusion, completely smitten.

Seungri and I sat ourselves at a table on a small porch. Since we were the only customers in the cafe Gom, Wang Bi, and a few other dogs followed us. Gom sat and leaned heavily against my leg while Wang Bi jumped up onto Seungri's lap.

"Looks like we switched," Seungri remarked, petting Wang Bi gently.

"I think my leg is going to go dead," I groaned. "Gom's head weighs a ton."

Hearing his name, Gom's ears perked up a bit. I decided that I didn't mind my leg getting tingly.

It's amazing just how much a dog or twelve can do for your mental state. I knew it was just a dopamine response, but I felt like everything that had been stressing me out was superficial and entirely manageable. The fluff of Gom's ears kind of scrunched under my fingers, a hint at his sturdy breeding.

"I feel a little bad for Gom," I dug my fingers deeper into his fur, "he must be very hot here."

"He doesn't look like he minds too much."

That was how the date progressed. Small talk about the dogs, about the baseball game the day before, about everything except the elephant.

The cafe host took a Polaroid of Seungri and I posing with Gom and Wang Bi. After we both signed it, he put it up on a wall with a bunch of other photos. I recognised a few faces, including one from earlier on.

I tugged on Seungri's sleeve and pointed to the photo.

"Who's this? I've seen her somewhere, haven't I?"

He leaned in and blinked.

"Oh... uh, that's Mizuhara Kiko. She's a model from Japan. You've probably seen her on TV or something."

I looked over her picture. A model. I should have guessed. Jiyong didn't come across as the type to date just anyone.

I shook my head, annoyed. I turned away from the picture, trying not to get upset over Jiyong being an asshole.

"Yeah, I've probably seen her ads. Let's get going."

* * *

 It felt strange, but I held Seungri's hand for the camera. We wandered through the streets near the cafe, poking in and out of shops.

"Really?" Seungri looked through the window of a store doubtfully. "Everything in there looks so... tacky."

I frowned.

"So? Tacky can be fun. Come on."

Dragging him into the small shop, I smiled at the scent that welcomed us. It was a musty sort of smell. Paper and twine covered with cheap paint.

A slightly earthier smell caught my attention. I wound my way to the back of the store.

"I knew it!"

"Hmm?"

Seungri put down a papier-mâché doll and walked back to join me. He poked his head over my shoulder, resting his chin there.

"What did you find?"

"This," I lifted a small lacquered box. It was blue, with white peacocks inlaid into the wood. I opened it to be greeted with the sound of Arirang.

"What's so great about it?"

"I have a cousin who collects them. Her birthday is coming up soon."

I shut the box and turned it over in my hands. It would be easy enough to ship, and I was fairly certain that she didn't have anything like it in her collection yet.

I looked up, scanning the other items in the shop.

"I should find something for her brother too I guess."

"When is his birthday?"

I moved off towards the paper items again, thinking over what he'd be allowed to keep.

"They're twins. He's..." I paused to hold out a string of lights with waxy paper balloons, "difficult to shop for."

Seungri frowned at the colourful string of lights.

"What does he like? How old is he?"

"I'm not sure. He's a bit..."

I didn't know the words in Korean. Slowly winding the lights back onto their package, I also thought better of revealing familial details in front of the cameras.

"He's strange. Quiet."

I shot Seungri a smile.

"I'll figure it out another time. I'll buy the box and then we can go."

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ** **How is everything? Better at all?**

I let my eyes rest on Seungri's face while I contemplated my answer. He was staring out of the car's window, frowning in what seemed to be deep thought.

> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  _ ** **_I'm not trapped inside. Zico talked to you?_ **

There. That was good, right? Informative, but not too revealing.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ** **Yes. What's the decision? Do you still have to see him?**

I looked back to Seungri. He was still frowning, but staring at his own phone now.

> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  _ ** **_It's a little uncomfortable to be going on dates with Seungri._ **
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  _ ** **_We're acting like nothing happened but it still feels tense._ **
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  _ ** **_At least I don't have to be totally alone with him. It's easier if I don't think about it._ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ** **At least you're switching soon, right?**

He wasn't wrong. But would the switch really change anything? It was still Big Bang. It was still a mixture of manufactured and real emotions.

I sighed as I contemplated my life. My new job was supposed to start soon too. How was I going to balance a new work environment with the show?

"You okay?"

I looked up, meeting Chul's eyes in the rear view mirror. I just gave him a tired smile and nodded.

“What’s that?” Seungri looked over from his window staring.

“You two are quiet.”

Seungri looked at me, a bit of anxiety showing on his face.

“Ah, just one of those days I guess,” I explained to Chul.

* * *

 "There's someone waiting for you at the bar."

I frowned at the hotel staff member. I had only stopped by the front desk to pick up the shoes that Soo-ah had dropped off. My brain went through possible visitors, but I couldn't figure out who would have shown up without telling me first.

"Uh... thank you."

It occurred to me that I should have asked the staffer who was waiting, but he had already moved on to help someone check into their room.

Well, if someone is waiting for me, I supposed they would be able to spot me. I stopped at the entry to the hotel bar and glanced around the expansive space. A waving hand caught my attention.

"Luna-ssi... here, have a seat. I'm Jeon Jangmi."

A woman with a stern face smiled and handed me her business card. I accepted it and looked over both her and the card. A word on the card caught my eye - _journalist_.

The eagerness of the woman put me on guard. I tried to casually avoid being drawn into a seat. I didn't want to get too comfortable with this bundle of insincere energy that was smiling at me.

Okay, maybe she wasn’t insincere. My guard was up anyway though.

"I'm sorry Jeon-ssi, but I don't think I have an appointment with you?"

I tried to leave my statement with the open ended tone of a question. I wasn't a hundred percent sure who she was or what she wanted so, despite my misgivings, I didn't want to come off as rude... yet.

"Ah,” she gave me a surprisingly warm smile, “well I suppose you don't. I was just curious about your relationship with Mino and Zico. I thought it would be better to ask you than to just report the suspicions posted by fans online."

I tilted my head. I had worried that something like this might happen, especially after that night…

“We’re friends, I guess.”

_Smooth._

“Just friends? I heard that Mino took time away from the crowd at his own show when you approached him about something.” Her smile turned slightly sharp looking then, “and of course you were both seen leaving with Zico. You both seemed pretty drunk as well, and you had shown up with Seungri. Was there some reason tha-”

"Mino is like a guide,” I cut her off, “and Zico is..."

I paused, trying to work out the correct words. I saw the woman's eyes glint. _Journalist._

"Zico is inconsequential. A friend of a friend."

"But you left in his car."

I shrugged.

"That was more to do with Mino. Actually now that I think about it,” I tried my best to sound nonchalant, “I wonder why they've been spending so much time together recently."

"They're friends, aren't they?"

"Sure," I turned towards the exit, "but everyone knows that Zico doesn't like going out."

I started retreating from the hotel bar. Hopefully an implied rumour about a new collaboration would distract her a bit.

"So what could have drawn him out?" She was following me, tagging along as I made my way towards the elevators.

"Mino seems to feel like I can't handle the new focus that's on me. He's a protective little brother. As for Zico," I pressed the call button for the elevator, "well, both times I've met with them, they ended up in the studio."

"So they're working on something together?"

"I wouldn't know, I'm still an outsider."

The elevator dinged, signalling its arrival. Jeon Jangmi eagerly asked one last question as I entered the lift.

“Why didn’t you leave with Seungri that night?”

“Honestly, it seemed safer,” I shrugged, pressing the button for the 16th floor, “I didn’t think either of us should drive.”

* * *

 I let out a heavy breath after the doors slid shut. After taking a moment to recollect myself I fished out my phone.

I quickly sent a voice memo to Mino.

"I might have just started a rumour about you and Zico working on something new together. Sorry. I got surprised by a reporter and I wanted to redirect from her questions about what's going on between you and me."

I quickly followed that with calling Jiyong.

It took a little longer than usual for him to pick up. I was busy mentally composing what my voicemail would say when he finally answered.

"Yeoboseyo?"

My eyebrows dipped at his tone.

"You sound tired. Where are you?"

His laugh crackled through the phone.

"Isn't that my line? I'm in my room. What's up?"

"Can I come over?"

There was an uncomfortable pause.

"It's not like I'm coming to be mad at you or whatever... it's just..." I clicked my tongue, not wanting to admit that I may have caused another problem so soon.

"What's wrong? Did Seungri-"

"No, no, Seungri was fine. There was a journalist here when I got back."

"I'll leave my door open."

* * *

 I bounced on my heels slightly for the duration of the ride up to the 16th floor. Around the twelfth floor my phone dinged.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ** **What did you tell them?**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  _ ** **_I don't know. I wasn't prepared. I just wanted to avoid where she was going._ **
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  _ ** **_It felt like she was insinuating that there was some sort of relationship between us._ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ** **Us? You and me? Or you and Zico?**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  _ ** **_Either. Both. Whatever would sell a story I guess._ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ** **And you said...?**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  _ ** **_That you and I are just friends, that you're helpful, that I don't really know Zico except through you._ **

By now I was faced with Jiyong's door. It was propped open slightly, stopping the door from automatically locking itself.

I pushed it open with my back, continuing my conversation with Mino.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  ** **Hmmm... it might be worth it to let them think we're more than friends ^_~**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  _ ** **_Stop joking. I "accidentally" mentioned that you and Zico seemed to be spending time in the studio together._ **
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  _ ** **_I figured that would be less of a scandal than a dating rumour._ **

Tucking my phone into my pocket I called out into the apartment.

"Ji-ya?"

"Kitchen."

I followed the muffled voice into the small kitchen. Jiyong held up two cups. One was a mug, with steam rising from it. The other was a wine glass, slightly overfilled with deep purple wine.

"How bad is it? Coffee or wine?"

I settled into a seat by his table and shrugged.

"Probably not wine bad, but I still don't like coffee."

Jiyong smiled, handing me the thin stemmed glass.

"I'm glad you're not mad at me any more."

"When was I-"

I was cut off by my phone ringing. It was Mino. I gave Jiyong a sheepish smile and answered.

"You're on speaker, Jiyong's here."

"Ah... uh... you're on speaker too. I'm with Zico."

I glanced up at Jiyong. He was frowning at the phone in my hand. I placed it on the counter and leaned next to it.

"Right... well... did you explain to Zico?"

"Yeah, he told me," Zico's voice answered my question, "but he wasn't very clear. What happened?"

"I was approached by a journalist when I got back here today. She, uh..."

I watched as Jiyong's eyebrow slowly raised. I forged ahead.

"She seemed to be wanting to create some sort of rumour or scandal. I'm guessing that since I've been spotted with you two twice now that it... well..."

Jiyong leaned forward and took over.

"I think you two should keep your distance from Luna. You can understand how it might cause misunderstandings, especially considering the nature of the show."

"Yes hyung," Mino quickly answered, "but... noona, you took care of it right?"

"Maybe, I tried my best anyway. I tried to redirect her attention to perhaps thinking that you two were going to release something together. Sorry if that's a problem."

"Not at a-"

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Zico interrupted Mino. "I suppose it's better this way though, if you can avoid the scandal."

"So there's no problem then. Luna has a bit of sense about these things."

Jiyong's tone seemed a bit confrontational for some reason, but I ignored it.

"Sorry for ruining your surprise. I honestly just said the first thing that came to mind. But," I looked up at Jiyong, "there's really no guarantee that she won't print some story anyway, right?"

Jiyong gave me a smug looking smile.

"Don't worry about that. I'll make sure it's taken care of. You two, again, you should keep a respectable distance."

Before either Mino or Zico could respond, Jiyong ended the call.

He gave me a somewhat disappointed look, but it seemed more like a mother walking in on her children trying to "help" clean by spilling soap all over the floor than actual disappointment.

"What?"

"I want to say I told you so," Jiyong sighed, "but you actually seem to have handled it pretty well."

I chuckled and lifted the wine glass smugly. Sure, I might not be a genius at media control, but I wasn't an idiot either.

Jiyong clicked his teeth and sighed again, hopping up to sit on the counter.

"I thought for sure you were coming to scold me when you called."

"Mm," I put down the now empty glass, "why do you sound disappointed about that?"

He pouted, obviously exaggerating the gesture.

"It would be nice if you were a little bit jealous."

I nodded, considering this while I leaned against the fridge.

"I was, for a little while. But when I thought of it, it seemed silly."

A small frown replaced the pout on Jiyong's face.

"She's really not my girlfriend."

I just shrugged in response. No way was I about to let him know that even talking about this was making my stomach tense up.

"We're just friends. Professional friends. There's nothing to be worried about."

I tilted my head and scoffed. Jiyong looked as if he was going to say something else, but the words didn't come out. I clicked my teeth and fixed him with a serious look.

"So you have a model in your room in the morning, and there's nothing to worry about. But Mino and Jiho help me out of some tough spots and you act like you've caught a drunk child."

"That's different. Kiko and I have known each other for years. And I don't know if I can trust Zico. And Mino is still young enough to make mistakes."

I nodded again, letting out an annoyed chuckle at his logic.

"Sure, sure. I mean, it doesn't matter if **I** trust someone, only if **you** do. And clearly only young men can get in trouble. People our age don't do that, right?"

Jiyong slid off of the counter. It was clear by his face that he knew I was talking about Seungri.

"That's not…” he cut himself off, rolling his neck in annoyance, “you barely know them! And they didn't just help you out of a tough spot, you slept at Zico's studio. You didn't get home until the next morning."

"At about the same time of day that I saw a female model in your room."

"I told you we're just friends. She got an early flight into the country and wanted to meet up for breakfast before going for her first meeting. Why don't you believe me?"

"I have no reason to," I felt a tell-tale warmth in my nose and eyes. I blinked it back and kept going.

"If you were dating someone you'd have to hide it, right? You obviously are willing to do a lot to maintain your image so how should I know you aren't willing to trick me just to keep your cover? I have no reason to believe that you're not going to go to whatever lengths are necessary to make me and everyone else believe that you really have feelings for me for the sake of the show.”

I lifted my hands to my face in a futile attempt at composure. Feeling the moisture on my cheeks, I gave up.

"Fuck."

Jiyong blinked, looking surprised.

"I wouldn't..." he huffed, confused, "why would I hurt you like that?"

"I don't know! Why would anyone do that to another person? I don't fucking know. Because you need to control the show, because you need to protect your privacy, because you enjoy building a person up just to watch them fall apart... there's a hundred reasons you would do it."

Jiyong pulled me into his arms softly. I was glad that I had long ago become comfortable with being the taller person in embraces.

"This... you've had a tough time, haven’t you?"

"Fuck you Ji," I tried to sound tough but didn't pull away.

"I know," he chuckled.

* * *

 After the heat left my face, we moved to the living room. There, Jiyong poured more wine and changed the topic.

Settling onto his sofa like old friends, he rested his head on his hand and narrowed his eyes at me.

“I don’t think you should call me Ji.”

I carefully placed my glass on the low coffee table and scooped my arms around my own knees.

“Why all the sudden? You seemed to like it before.”

“It’s cute,” he tilted his head, “but if you say it too much it loses it’s charm, doesn’t it?”

“Fine,” I nodded, “I got it. Jiyong then, I’ll just call you Jiyong.”

“I don’t like that either.”

Incredulous, I watched him empty his glass and set it next to mine on the table.

“Then what? Kwon-ssi? Ahjussi?” I knew what he was getting at, but I wasn’t going to make it easy for him. “Or should I go with G Dragon? Would sunbae be okay?”

“Hey, what’s with that tone?” Jiyong clicked his teeth and shook his head, “kids these days really have no respect for their elders.”

“Elder? You’re, what? Two years older? You should be the one talking respectfully to me.”

That made him crack a smile. He shifted in his seat, propping his elbow on the back of the sofa to look at me directly.

“What makes you say that?”

His eyes crinkled, amusement drawing his cheeks upwards.

“Well…” I leaned forward to pick up my glass again, distracting myself from getting drawn into the way Jiyong had just let his fingertips brush against my shoulder.

“They say that women mature faster. So if I'm two years younger than you, mentally I'm more like three years older than you, right?”

I pretended not to notice Jiyong watching my lips meet the rim of the glass. The wine was good again. Darker than last time. It reminded me of being twenty five for some reason.

“Idols also have to mature quickly, so I don't think that really works that way.”

My glass was disappointingly empty by now. I returned it to the table and leaned back into the sofa.

“Fine, but I still think we can speak comfortably.”

Somehow, despite Jiyong not making any apparent moves, his arm was now around my shoulder.

He must have moved while I was looking at the table… or had I subconsciously moved closer t-

A sensation on my leg stalled my thought. Jiyong's free hand was resting there, as if it owned the place.

“I feel like you don't take me seriously.”

I dragged my eyes off of his hand and back to his face.

How did we always end up being so close to each other?

“I take everything seriously.”

“Including me?”

I swear, we were both masters of pretending that it was completely normal to have conversations with less than a hand’ breadth between us.

“I'd be an idiot if I didn't.”

Jiyong looked like he wanted to say something sarcastic, but he held his tongue, for once. It must have been difficult though, because he leaned in even closer and made a quiet request.

“Kiss me.”

I'm not sure if I actually wanted to, or if he was a wizard, but I closed the gap. I felt Jiyong sigh. So he had been just as nervous as I was.

There was something wrong though. Something in the back of my mind that was trying to make itself apparent.

Jiyong's hands pushed it back, with the fingers of one raising goosebumps on my neck and the other exploring the expanse of my thigh. We were tilting, moving along multiple axes, apparently aiming somewhere approximately behind me.

“Wait,” Jiyong lowered his hand from my neck to my back, catching me before I was laid out on the sofa, “maybe,” he pulled me back up and around, smoothly settling me onto his lap, “there.”

He reached up with both hands to brush my hair back. His expression was a little worried.

“Better?”

The concern on his face made sense only after a second’s thought. He wanted me to be comfortable, considering how things had gone with Seungri. I was on top, I was in control, I could leave whenever I wanted.

I nodded.

“Good,” he pulled me back down to his lips, pausing after a quick kiss to reassure me again.

“I told you I won't hurt you.”

The thing in the back of my mind bounced back to life.

“Wait, what about Mizuh-”

“I'm not dating her. I'm not dating anyone.”

Maybe I believed him, maybe I just wanted to believe him, but in short order I had discarded the idea.

A few minutes of quiet slick sounds and muffled shuffling of clothes passed. Jiyong's hands were under my shirt, exploring my back. My hands were awkwardly wound into his collar and hair. I had noticed that he groaned and pressed up against me when I pulled his hair, so I was making sure only to do it sparingly.

After one particular tug he leaned his head back and let out a deep breath. His arms went slack and he kept his eyes tightly shut.

“Ji…?”

“Just… one second jagi.”

I gave him space. Kind of. Whatever he was holding back, he wasn't the only one.

I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling some slight dampness from sweat there. I let one hand slip down the side of his face and neck. Tracing the tips of the wings on his neck with my fingertips made his head lean to one side and his Adam's apple bounce. I leaned down to feel the pulse I could see racing in his neck with my lips.

That elicited a soft groan from Jiyong. I felt his legs shift under me.

“Fuck,” Jiyong turned his head back to look up at me. His hands settled onto my waist.

“Jagi…” he protested, looking like he was fighting a losing battle.

“What's wrong oppa?” I needled him, shifting against his lap in a small way that made him take in a sharp breath.

“Fuck, jagi, please…”

I ran my hands down the front of his shirt. I knew I was pushing it, but I also knew I could just stand up and leave whenever I wanted.

“Please what?”

“Just…” he paused when my hands reached the hem of his shirt.

“Just touch me.”

“I am touching you,” I smiled at him, “quite a bit.”

“Jagiiiiii!” He whined, wriggling his legs under me.

I lifted my hands, taking his shirt with them. Once it was off he seemed to come back to life.

He used one hand to place one of mine on his chest, and the other to pull me back down to his lips.

My hand was now resting against his bare skin. He felt hot, and slightly sweaty. I felt his nipple under my fingers, proving that multiple parts of his body were hard and ready for contact. As an experiment I circled it with my thumb.

His groan that time was strangled, and higher pitched. Good to know. I let my other hand tease the opposite side.

That made him bite my lower lip and raise his hands to my shirt buttons. He struggled to get them undone, roughly tugging while he determinedly kept his mouth on mine. He got about halfway down when he abandoned the buttons and tugged the top down my shoulders.

Jiyong immediately replaced the cloth with his lips. I felt his teeth on my shoulder, and it was my turn to moan out. I braced myself against his chest, still trying to tease his nipples while I (somewhat involuntarily) rubbed myself against him.

“Jiyong, we…”

As if he could sense the feeling in my chest he pulled back and tugged my shirt back up my arms.

“Sorry,” he quickly stole a kiss against the rise of my breast before pulling my shirt to cover it.

“We don't have to go any further than this,” he started redoing the buttons he had just seconds before worked so hard to undo. I stopped his hands from entirely closing my shirt.

“It’s okay, I just… this…” I licked my lips and thought of how to articulate my concerns.

“Don’t,” Jiyong kissed the underside of my chin, “it’s too soon. I understand.”

I chuckled and craned my neck to kiss him again. I held his head in my hands and took my time with his lips before pulling back.

“This part is nice though.”

He smiled up at me. It made the tension in my chest loosen slightly.

“I like this part too.”

I felt like I was in middle school again. When kissing was still the most exciting thing I had done. Long term dry spells will do that to you I guess.

It only took a few minutes, and some not exactly accidental shifting of my shoulders for my shirt to fall down again. Still, Jiyong was moving more slowly now. His hands stayed beneath my bra and his lips stayed above my collarbones. He kept groaning and pausing whenever the fabric of my bra would brush against his chest until, finally, his fingers crept up my back. They landed on the closure for my bra and stayed still for a while. When he made no further movements I leaned back to look at him.

His eyes roved over my body, pausing briefly on tattoos and freckles. He shook his hair out of his eyes and met my eyes.

“Can I?”

“Um…” I flashed back to my too edgy teen years, and the modifications that I had neglected to mention to the producer on the phone last week. I hadn’t exactly been trying to be secretive, I just hadn’t expected it to be something that would actually come up in any way.

“Well…”

“It’s fine if you don’t want me to.”

“I know,” I shook my head, “it’s just that you might… be surprised?”

Jiyong’s eyebrows clenched together as he puzzled over my words. Then he shrugged.

“I like surprises,” he clicked his tongue and tilted his head, “but I can go slower if you would be more comfortable that way.”

As he said it his hand trailed up my back and he slid a finger under my shoulder strap. I smiled appreciatively.

“That might be better.”

Jiyong licked his lips and tugged the strap down. The material of my bra flipped over itself slightly, slowly revealing more skin as he slid the elastic down my arm. He paused as a green line came into view.

“What…” he looked up at me, grinning, “even here?”

“I was nineteen!” I defended myself, “and it’s actually kind of pretty.”

“I wasn’t judging you.”

His eyes were stuck on the sliver of ink that he had revealed. He freed his hand from the strap and ran a finger over it softly.

“You are surprising.”

He leaned forward, cupping my breast over the bra as his mouth found my collarbone. I guess it wasn’t a turn off then.

“I’m not tha-”

I was cut off by my phone ringing. Jiyong groaned in annoyance this time and his head sank against my chest.

I dug my phone out of my pocket and watched the display. I bit my lip, thinking whether or not I wanted to answer.

“Who is it?”

“Seungri. I don’t know i-”

Jiyong huffed and leaned back against the sofa again.

“Answer it. It’s probably for the show.”

The show. Right. Like I needed more strangeness to deal with right now.

Regardless, I picked up.

“Hey, what’s up?”

As soon as my voice sounded, Jiyong sat up straight and started fixing my clothing. Adjusting my bra strap as Seungri talked about dinner plans, buttoning up my shirt while I estimated how long it would take me to get ready. By the time the plans were finalised, not only my clothes, but also Jiyong’s, were back in place.

I ended the call and stood up, unsteady due to awkwardness. Jiyong followed suit, equally awkward. He and I made our best efforts to politely ignore both the apparent bulge in his pants, and the slight wet spot that it was pressing against.

“I, uh, well you heard.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “um, I guess you should get ready then.”

I snapped my fingers and clapped one hand over my fist, a nervous tic I had picked up from an old coworker.

“Yeah, yeah I should go.”

I double checked my pockets, even though I already knew I had everything on me. More nerves.

Jiyong bent and picked a tissue out of the box on his coffee table.

“Here,” he held it up to me, “your makeup.”

“Right, of course, I should… yeah I’ll just fix that.”

* * *

 I quickly, and clumsily excused myself from his room. I had zero doubt in my mind that we were both about to go finish what we had started on our own. Even as I stepped into my shower, some part of me wanted to go back to his room.

I eyed my phone on the bathroom sink. I could text him to come up. He had the spare key after all.

I shook my head. Bad idea.

A worse idea occurred to me as my bathroom filled with steam.

I could send him a picture. Something to help him out. Something that might end up with him sending me something to help me out.

I had to admit to myself that I was dying to actually see what I had only felt trapped between us.

* * *

 After the shower I quickly dressed and did some basic makeup. Seungri had texted me to say that he figure a fancier place would be good for the show, so I tried to go fancy without actually putting too much effort in.

Part of me felt like I was short changing the show, but I convinced myself that I was actually just going for a more “natural” look.

I finally opened the bag that Soo-ah had left for me. They were pumps, of course. Tan and black patent leather, simple but still somehow a little edgy. I looked at the label and confirmed my suspicions. Steve Madden, probably a season or two old, but Steve Madden nonetheless. I had to give it to Soo-ah, she knew her fashion.

* * *

 When I answered the door for Seungri, his reaction was unchecked for the first time since Thursday night. He looked me up and down and blinked.

“Wow. You look…” he shook his head, “wow.”

I smiled, feeling shy about his shyness.

“Thanks.”

For a second it felt like earlier that week. Like nothing bad had happened. It definitely made me forget about my earlier interaction with Jiyong… for a minute.

“We should go, right?”

“Yeah,” Seungri shook himself into action, “yeah let’s get going.”

He held a hand out for me. Taking it, I let him lead me down the hall to the elevator.

As we crossed the lobby, I thought I spotted a familiar sweep of hair and thin limbs at the bar.

Right. I had left him alone to go on a date with one of his friends. Sure, it wasn’t a real date, but that had to leave him a little sour anyway. I chewed my lip while Seungri went to talk to the valet. Was Jiyong drinking because of this? Or was it just a normal drink?

_You’re not exactly anything to get drunk over, Luna._

“Luna?”

I looked up at Seungri’s voice echoing my thought.

“Hmm?”

“Car’s here.”

* * *

 It was the sort of place where the host pulls the chair out for you when you sit down. I felt underdressed, and mentioned as much to Seungri when the host walked away.

“You look beautiful. Don't worry.”

“Still,” my eyes washed over other diners in the room.

“Luna,” Seungri reached across the table to take my hand, “I'm serious. You're perfect.”

He said it with the eagerness that I had found so adorable earlier in the week. I felt my face warm at his words, spreading out to the tips of my ears.

“Cute,” Seungri commented before releasing my hand to pick up his menu.

Dinner passed with polite small talk and a few questions about the journalist encounter. Seungri commended me for trying to minimise scandal, and picked up my lie about Thursday without a hitch.

After dinner, he walked me up to my room. Seungri dawdled at my door, looking nervous.

“What's wrong?”

“I… well I wondered if…” he cleared his throat, “I mean, you said it was okay before.”

I laughed and offered him my cheek.

Seemingly fearing that I would retract the offer, he quickly grabbed my hand, leaned in, and kissed my cheek. I couldn’t help but laugh again.

“You’re cute.”

“No,” Seungri shook his head jokingly, “I’m manly.”

“Yeah,” I replied sarcastically, “sure you are.”

His hand in mine tugged slightly. I let him pull me into a hug.

“I feel like I’m out of time.”

“There’s still tomorrow, right?”

I felt him shake his head next to mine.

“No. Tomorrow is a group day,” he pulled back and stole another kiss on my other cheek.

“I’m really out of time.”

* * *

 At long last, I laid in my bed, thinking over everything that had happened that day. Once again I was questioning whether or not I was doing the right thing. I probably wasn't, seeing as how I had no idea what I was doing at all.

I rolled over, catching sight of the shoes Soo-ah had left me. Seungri seemed to have like them but I hardly needed them at this point. Or maybe I did. Just because I could get a rise out of Jiyong didn't mean that he actually gave a shit about me. It could very easily all just be physical chemistry. Not that the shoes could create emotions, but still.

As if on cue my phone vibrated.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  ** **I'm sorry. I'm actually glad you left when you did. I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you.**

I stared at the message, not sure what to make of it. A second one popped up, followed by more as I read.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  ** **Today was incredible, but I should have stopped it. I haven't even taken you out yet!**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  ** **You make me crazy. You know that, right? I feel crazy when I'm around you. I need to control myself.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  ** **That sounds bad, doesn't it? Sorry. It's my problem, not yours.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  ** **I want to ask you to come back. For the night. Even if we didn't do that. I want to sleep next to you.**

He seemed finished after that. I read over the messages a few times before responding.

> **_To: Lyong Boho  
>  _ ** **_I want to invite you up too. It's better not to, right?_ **
> 
> **_To: Lyong Boho  
>  _ ** **_We should be careful. We both need to control ourselves I think._ **
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  ** **Don’t tempt me. I’d love to come up and see you.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  ** **There’s still so much more of you that I can’t wait to discover.**

I shifted under my blanket. I was treading in dangerous waters right now.

> **_To: Lyong Boho  
>  _ ** **_What happened to controlling yourself? Shouldn’t we both just go to sleep? In our own beds?_ **
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  ** **You’re right. Let’s change the subject. Did Seungri behave tonight?**
> 
> **_To: Lyong Boho  
>  _ ** **_Of course. How could he not? He knows he has a lot to make up for._ **
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  ** **I guess you’re right. Still… you looked good tonight. I would have at least tried to kiss you goodnight.**
> 
> **_To: Lyong Boho  
>  _ ** **_Oh, well there was that._ **

My phone rang in my hand. Laughing, I picked up.

“What’s up?”

“He kissed you?”

I laughed into the phone.

“It was for the show, you know? A cute cheek kiss at the door.”

Jiyong made annoyed noises before finally spitting out the words.

“He has no right! He shouldn't even touch you! I have to talk some sense into him.”

“Ji-ya,” I used my calming voice, “it's fine.”

“How is it fine? That's not fine!” His voice was tense, rising slightly in pitch.

“I could have stopped him if it were a problem.”

“Then why didn't you stop him?”

I clicked my teeth. Jiyong seemed to have realised he had said something wrong, because he stayed quiet. After a few seconds I spoke up.

“You're being jealous again. And you know how the show is. More than this will probably happen before filming is over. Also,” I sharpened my tone at this point, “I want you to think a little more seriously about the phrase ‘why didn't you stop him’ before you ever say it to me again.”

“Jagi… Luna, I'm sorry. I didn't think of…” he sighed heavily. “You're right. I'm jealous. I don't want him touching you like that.”

“How are you going to deal with it for the others? I'm spending next week with Daesung, right? Will you be jealous over him? The producers will want skinship.”

“I know, I know. I don't know. I'll just… remind myself that you're acting.”

There was an awkward silence then. I finally voiced what I figure we were both thinking.

“What if I'm not acting?”

“Then… I don't need to know. We aren't in a relationship, so it's not for me to worry about, is it?”


	14. Seungri: Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Would you believe me if I said that this chapter has guns and zombies? Well, you should. There's also Seunghyun being something like a human, and a cameo from most of VIXX.

I was awoken by Chul calling me at 5:30AM.

“Yeo... bo...”

He didn’t let me get the yawned greeting out before laughing.

“We’re coming to do wake up calls. We’ll be at your room in about twenty minutes.”

I shook my head, trying to jerk my brain into action.

“You... what?”

“Just get dressed.”

Thanks to his warning, I was dressed and halfway through a cup of coffee when my doorbell rang. I pulled it open, still not completely sure what was going on.

Chul stepped forward.

“Are you ready to leave?”

I yawned and stretched, tipping my cup perilously close to spilling in the process.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s an outside event today.” Chul gestured to my sneakers next to the door.

I nodded and downed the rest of my coffee in one go.

* * *

 

The boys looked just as tired as I felt. I secretly hoped I was faking alertness better than them. Without much trouble, the six of us were herded into a van.

Once seated, we all promptly fell back asleep.

The sun was fully in the sky when the door of the van rattling open woke us up.

Blinking, I looked around. I quickly straightened myself up.

In my car assisted slumber I had ended up somewhat entangled with Seunghyun. My arm had found its way around his waist, and his was around my shoulder.

To make matters worse, Daesung was curled into my other side. I tried to move away from Seunghyun without disturbing him, but I was limited by Daesung.

Luckily the production team gave me an excuse to jump in “surprise”.

“Rise and shine everyone! We’re here!”

My “jump” was cut short by Seunghyun’s reaction. Whether knowingly or not, he pulled his arm tighter around my shoulder, thereby clasping me tightly into his side.

I glanced around, but saw that the three boys in the front seat were clambering over each other. Everyone was so engaged in their own limb tangles that it seemed I might escape any potential teasing.

Except from Seunghyun.

“Comfortable?”

“Sorry,” I pulled back from him, “I was asleep s-“

One of the boys bumped into me, knocking me straight across Seunghyun’s lap.

Fuck talking.

I scrambled out of the van as quickly as possible.

* * *

 

“Luna is a painter, so we figured we’d do some painting.”

Taeyang looked at the brick building sceptically.

“We’re doing an art class out here?”

“Not quite.”

The rules were pretty simple.

  1. Breakfast was waiting at the middle point.
  2. We each had five “lives”, signified by the bandanas tucked into our belts. If we lost all five, we were automatically out.
  3. The person who made it through “alive” first would get fifty points. Each person after them would receive ten less than the person ahead of them.
  4. Each shot on a zombie was worth ten points.
  5. We could coordinate or go solo, and we would all be linked via an in-ear walkie-talkie system.



I hefted the paintball gun handed to me and frowned.

“I know I’m a girl and all but... isn’t this a bit... noticeable?”

The boys looked surprised, but the producer of the day smiled.

“You’re right, of course. The bright pink might catch the attention of the zombies,” he turned to the boys, “any volunteers to take the handicap? It might earn you points of a different kind.”

I saw Taeyang roll his eyes dramatically at the producers tone.

“I’ll take it,” Seungri held his hand out towards me. Taeyang tsked and stepped forward, raising his hand.

“I’ll do it. I’m the fastest.”

Seunghyun said nothing, just taking the paintball gun out of my hand and replacing it with his.

* * *

 

Seungri had some difficulty with his gun, so I stuck with him until he got the hang of it. After making sure he knew how to clear a jam, I headed out, away from him.

“Where are you going?”

I grinned and shrugged.

“Like I’m going to let some boy take credit for my skills.”

An hour later, I was enjoying a stealthy hike through the woods. Sunlight filtered through foliage that lent it a yellowish-green tinge. If not for my competitive nature and the risk of zombies, I would have laid down in the clearing I spotted ahead of me for a nap.

It was all very relaxing until a twig snapped nearby. I fell to a knee and hissed into my mic.

“Seungri?”

There was no answer on my intercom.

I quickly surveyed the landscape around me through my scope. No sign of anyone. I supposed it could have been a squirrel or something. My serene walk was ruined by the spike in my adrenaline that was now making me feel a little panicky.

“Seungri where are you?”

“I’m by the shed. Where are you?”

“What the fuck dude? I’m like a mile ahead of you.”

Seungri had some retort but I was paying more attention to the sounds of motion nearby.

“Shut up, I think one of them is nearby.”

I felt secure in my hiding spot, so I just rescanned the area in front of me.

My mistake.

A hand clamped around my stomach and pulled me back.

“What the shit?!”

“Luna? What was th-“

There was a crackling pop in my earpiece and I couldn’t hear Seungri any longer. A second hand covered my mouth.

“I unplugged your transmitter.”

I rolled my eyes at the voice behind me. I also relaxed slightly, realising it was not one of the zombies.

“Keep quiet, there’s one just on the other side of that ridge.”

I nodded, and Seunghyun dropped his hand from my mouth. He neglected, however, to release his grip around my waist. I wanted to argue that point but I heard the zombie approaching and stayed still instead.

We watched as a bored looking man covered in fake blood and wounds wandered through the clearing. He surveyed the surrounding landscape before taking the time to stretch. Innocuous enough, but he was directly facing where Seunghyun and I were.

Even though I knew it was fake, my body was in instinct mode. Without meaning to, I tucked myself closer into Seunghyun’s body. In turn, his grip tightening, he pressed himself against my back.

Somehow, despite the danger of getting removed from the game, I couldn’t help but get distracted by the feeling of his body against me. Since he always dressed so conservatively, I hadn’t noticed how toned his arms were. His abs had been too much of a distraction when I had seen them.

The image of his shirtless body standing in the entry to his room started forcing its way into my mind’s eye.

“What was that?”

A tingle went down my neck; Seunghyun’s breath causing my skin to react.

“What?”

“You shivered. Did you see another one?”

“No. Let go of me.”

He seemed to hesitate, probably thinking of making some annoying joke, but let go of me. I raised my rifle, took aim, and promptly removed the zombie in front of us from the game.

“Nice shot.”

I hummed, still looking to see if there were any more coming.

“Seungri, are you still at the shed?”

No response came.

“Seungri?”

“I told you I unplugged your transmitter.”

“Fucking, why?” I started tugging on the cord behind my ear, “Wheres the...”

Seunghyun stopped me from fixing my ear piece.

“I want to talk to you about Thursday.”

I turned to face him.

“Right now? Really?”

He just raised an eyebrow.

“We’re in a race against zombies and you want to talk about maknae’s bad behaviour?”

“Yes.”

He didn’t react under the hard look I gave him. Obviously, I was going to have to abandon my hopes of getting through the course first.

“Fine, but we have to post up so we don’t completely lose.”

* * *

 

Seunghyun and I were the only two to get through the entire course without any zombie “bites”. However, our chat caused the two of us to only secure the fourth and fifth speed spots.

Daesung perked up an eyebrow when the two of us reached the last checkpoint.

“You two teamed up?”

Seunghyun shrugged, peeling off his vest.

“We ran into each other. More eyes.”

Daesung had lost all of his flags, thus automatically being rendered the loser. Jiyong made it through with a single flag left, and had shown up third, securing his place as second worst. Taeyang had gotten through the fastest, but lost three flags. Seungri had gotten through with two flags left, and had arrived last.

However, thanks to the paint splatter on the zombies, I came in first after the points were tallied.

And, perhaps thanks to me, Seunghyun came in second.

“Well that works out nicely,” the day’s producer said, “since the whole thing was actually a competition for this.”

He held up a green envelope.

“Luna, if you will?”

I stepped forward to take the prize. Envelope in hand, I got an encouraging movement from the producer.

“Open it up.”

I peeled back the sticker sealing it, and peered inside. There was paper in it.

Sliding the paper out, my eyes scanned over the name of a musical. It was two tickets to a show that night.

“What is it?” Jiyong looked over my shoulder, “tickets to Chess? Nice, I’ve heard good things.”

“Not just tickets,” the producer explained, “backstage passes to meet the cast as well.”

I traced the edges of the tickets and looked over the printing.

“Who’s going with her?” Taeyang asked.

“T.O.P has the highest score after her, so he gets to go.”

* * *

 

After the “For the camera” congratulations shots we started packing in to leave. Golf carts carried us back to the beginning area. I settled next to Jiyong on the backwards facing seats of one of them.

“Big date tonight.”

“Don’t start,” I tried to relax into the seat as much as I could without falling off.

Jiyong laughed, but stopped his teasing.

The ride was definitely too bumpy for me to sleep like I’d have liked. Instead I started inspecting myself for the usual wear and tear that comes with running around in the woods for a few hours.

After one particularly large bump, Jiyong swore and hissed.

“Aish!”

“What’s wrong?”

“I think I... here,” he pulled his sleeve up his arm and revealed a pretty big scrape on the back of his arm.

I examined it as best as I could on the small vehicle. Now that I was taking a closer look at Jiyong, I noticed that he had leaf pieces in his hair and a fair bit of dirt rubbed into different places on his clothes.

“Here,” I pulled my scrunchie out of my hair and held it against the bleeding scrape on his arm.

“I’ll take a proper look at you when we get back.”

Jiyong scoffed, but not in a mean way. He reached up to hold the scrunchie in place.

Maybe he did it, maybe I did, but for some reason my cheeks heated up as his fingers lingered over mine.

* * *

 

I think I was proving something of an amusing hassle to the staff.

As soon as we arrive my first order of business was to ask for a first aid kit and whether or not they had showers there.

There were showers, and a staff member told me that they could treat any injuries.

A female staff member brought me some clothes and shower necessities before ushering me around the building to the showers. There was only one locker room type area, so they had me shower first.

“Producer Chul,” I tried to politely interrupt a discussion between Chul and a few other staff members, “I just have a question.”

“Yes?” Chul shut the case of the tablet they had been huddled around.

I held out the paper schedule that was now thoroughly worn and folded from being tucked in and out of pockets and bags.

“There’s not a lot of information about today here.”

“Ah,” Chul nodded, “yes. Well, there’s another interview.”

I groaned and pouted.

Chul smiled.

“It won’t be that bad. Both of the regular MC’s are sick, so they have special MC’s doing it. They’re much more fun.”

* * *

 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Jiyong perked his eyebrows up, his smile asking his question for him.

“This is insane. This is... what the fuck?”

“Get all the swearing out now,” the male special MC laughed. “Once we’re rolling it’s frowned upon.”

“Sorry hyung,” Seunghyun dipped his head, “she’s not exactly trained.”

I wanted to completely disregard any and all hierarchies and tell him to go fuck himself, but I also wanted to impress the woman currently clipping a mic to her shirt.

Seunghyun must have found my lack of a reaction boring, because he shuffled off fairly quickly.

Just as quickly, he was replaced by Daesung.

“Are you a fan of EXID?”

For some reason, I felt my cheeks warm up.

“Mostly just Hani,” I mumbled. I was trying not to be too obvious about watching Hani get ready for filming. I had always had a slight crush on her, but in that far away way. The unattainable crush. The “I’ll never meet them anyway, so what’s the point?” crush.

“You’re going to make us all jealous.”

I turned to face Daesung, pressing the back of my fingers to my face.

“Am I being that obvious?”

He made a gesture to indicate that yes, I was being obvious.

I sighed, repositioning my hat to tuck my hair back into place.

“What can I do? I’m a fan.”

“What about him?” Daesung indicated the other host.

“Are you kidding me? Of course! He’s huge with foreign fans! Even if you don’t like the group much, you like him.”

* * *

 

“This is Weekly Idol! We are your guest hosts this week Hani and Heechul, since the regular hosts are both recovering from the flu.”

“Ah,” Heechul clasped his hands together over his heart, “they’re so close, they even get sick together.”

“Yes,” Hani agreed, “it’s disgusting. Today our guests are old favourites. They’re here not to promote a new song or album but a show that they are currently in the middle of filming.”

“Of course, please cheer for Big Bang!”

With that introduction the five boys entered into the camera’s view, herding me along with them.

I had been dressed in a masculine style. No heels, no skirts, minimalistic makeup. Lots of denim, including a jacket that covered my tattoos, and a hat to tuck my hair up.

It was a tactic that seemed gimmicky, but I could see the merit in it anyway.

“Excuse me, pardon me, but who is this new member?”

Just as Jiyong and Chul had instructed me, I bowed deeply and stepped forward to recite the cheesiest line I’d said since my middle school drama club days.

“Hello, I’m coming for your heart,” I shot finger guns at the camera, “the Big Bang Bullet,” I died inside as I performed the action that Daesung had insisted upon. “I am Luna.”

Heechul laughed, “coming for your heart? Who came up with that?”

I immediately ratted.

“It was Jiyong.”

I could see the souls slip away from Jiyong and Taeyang at my accusation. Jiyong even let his head drop slightly.

“Jiyong! Did you come up with that?”

“Ah, no. It’s a phrase from our marketing team, but I thought it could work here.”

The leader’s cheeks were tinged pink, obviously embarrassed by being called out.

“What about the heart gun?” Hani asked. “Was that your idea?”

I saw Seungri raise his hands in a “please don’t” motion.

“No, that was Daesung’s idea.”

Daesung wrenched his head back, as if he’d been hit in the face. His dramatic action drew Heechul’s attention.

“That was your idea? Why?”

Daesung clicked his tongue and sighed, shaking his head.

“Truthfully, I just wanted to see if she could do aegyo.”

I made an annoyed face.

“Are you satisfied now?”

“Yes.”

“What a mess,” Hani commented. “We’ve only just started.”

* * *

 

My antics were half planned and half improvised. Chul, Jiyong, Heechul, Hani, another producer that I was seeing for the second time, and I had talked about how to present myself during the taping.

The general idea was to show my comfort with the boys, while also displaying my “foreign charm.”

It was a coded phrase meant to convey that I should act slightly, but seemingly unintentionally, rude. Not in a malicious sense, but just in a “look at her cultural differences” way. Nevermind the fact that I was fully familiar with the code of conduct; my role today was to be a source of jovially chaotic informality.

It annoyed me in theory, but turned out to be fun in practice. I basically was supposed to call the boys out. What was there to hate about that?

* * *

 

“No no no, it’s not like that. It’s just that men’s clothes are comfortable.”

“So would you like to date someone you could share clothing with?”

Daesung started giggling at Heechul’s question, interrupting my answer.

“What? Why’s that so funny?” Hani asked.

“The only one who could match her for style and size is T.O.P-hyung, and they can’t stand each other.”

“He does have that personality, doesn’t he?” Hani turned to me. “He seems difficult to get close to.”

“I... we...” I tried to think of how to articulate the dynamic between Seunghyun and I.

“They just haven’t had a chance to get comfortable,” Jiyong quickly tried to smooth over the issue, “but hyung is a bit cold. Sometimes it seems that he doesn’t like her being around, but that-“

“I like Luna enough. She’s just a nuisance sometimes,” Seunghyun shrugged.

“You only think I’m a nuisance because you think you know everything,” I turned to Heechul and Hani again. “He told me that I shouldn’t make any friends while filming. He treats me like I’m a child.”

“Because you’re childish.”

I could see Jiyong’s eyes widening.

For the editors’ sake I didn’t verbally respond to Seunghyun’s comment. Instead I opted to just click my tongue and roll my eyes.

“See what I mean?”

* * *

 

“We even contacted your friend Soo-Ah to help us, so we’ll add what she said at the relevant points.”

Heechul lifted the top sheet to reveal a still of me from the cross-play video shoot mirrored by what seemed to be a still from the night I went out to dinner with Seungri.

Hani and Heechul took turns reading out the lines and asking questions.

“Name, Luna. Is that your real name?”

“Ah, yes and no. I was born with a different name, but I changed it and it says Luna on my passport and alien ID card.”

“Really?” Seungri looked surprised, “what’s your real name?”

I grimaced. This was always an uncomfortable conversation, yet I always found myself unable to just say...

“My name is really Luna.”

Jiyong tilted his head, watching me silently.

“Well, why did you change your name?”

Hani’s question was a bit easier to answer.

“I...” I searched my mind for the words. I couldn’t find them. I covered my microphone and leaned over to whisper to Jiyong.

He covered his as well.

“What’s the word for  _trauma_?”

“ _Trauma?_  I’m not sure what that means.”

Straightening up, I stood.

“Can I get my phone? We,” I gestured to Jiyong, “can’t work out the translation.”

One of the staff brought my phone over and handed it to me.

I mentally noted that I had a message from Zico before quickly looking up the relevant words.

“Ah, okay, here... I suffered a trauma when I was young. So to help myself move on I changed my name. I became a new person so that I could leave that behind me.”

I felt a hand on my shoulder, but didn’t turn to see who it belonged to.

“I don’t feel like it’s bad thing. It helped me heal, so my name, Luna, is who I really am.”

“Wow,” Heechul leaned back slightly, “do all of your answers have stories behind them?”

“No,” I shook my head, “I think that’s the only long one.”

“It’s good to talk about though, isn’t it?” Hani pointed out, “a lot of people feel like they can’t talk about their unpleasant experiences. I’m glad that you’re comfortable talking about it a little bit.”

“That’s part of Luna’s charm,” Seungri spoke up from behind me somewhere. “She’s very honest and open, but without causing a burden on the people she talks to.”

“Is that what it is? I thought she just talked a lot when she was nervous.”

Taeyang wasn’t wrong, but Hani moved us along.

“Charms! That’s the next part of the profile. Shall we hear what Soo-Ah said?”

“Before that I want to ask a question,” Heechul interrupted. “Luna, Soo-Ah is your closest friend, right?”

“In Korea,” I nodded, “yes.”

“And she’s known you for a long time?”

“About five years now.”

“So she knows you pretty well.”

“Yes.”

Heechul nodded and leaned towards me with a serious expression.

“Do you think she said something truthful or something funny?”

I tilted my head and considered the question.

“I think… Soo-Ah wouldn’t lie, but she’d still try to choose an amusing answer.”

“Okay,” Heechul settled back in his seat, “an honest but amusing charm of Luna’s, according to her best friend is…”

Hani pulled a strip of tape off of the board, revealing the phrase written underneath.

As soon as the words came to light, I laughed.

“A strong girl-crush,” Hani read aloud. “We have a recording of what she said.”

Soo-Ah’s voice pumped into the small studio space, illuminating her answer.

> “Luna is the type of girl that girls crush on. She’s everything you want in a man, without any of the problems of being a man. Luna is strong, and will protect her girl friends with zero questions asked. You never have to worry about her getting into trouble, and if she does, you don’t have to worry about her getting out. If she were a man, I would date her.”

By the time the recording was done, I was leaning forward with both of my hands covering my face. Leave it to Soo-Ah to say something like that.

“Is it what you expected?” Heechul asked.

I nodded into my hands before sitting up again.

“It’s everything I expected, and more.”

“Since she talked about you being strong, we set up a challenge. But first, can we see a demonstration of how strong you think you are?”

I allowed myself to get cocky for a minute.

“Respectfully, Heechul, I don’t think that I am strong. I know that I am strong.”

“Then let’s skip right to the challenge, shall we?”

Staff brought a short table out, and set a cushion on either side. Heechul quickly explained.

“Arm wrestling. Any of them can challenge you,” he indicated Big Bang, “and the winner will get one point. The points only matter at the end.”

I tilted my head, but settled onto one of the cushions. Pulling my jacket off, I heard a small noise from Hani.

“Oh my!”

I looked up at her, blushing a little at her wide eyes.

“What?”

“You have a lot of tattoos.”

I glanced at the ink peeking out from under my tank top, then switched to the other side of the table.

“It will be easier to block from this side, right? Okay,” I looked up at the boys, “who’s first?”

Luckily, I managed to beat Seungri and Daesung pretty easily. Jiyong was third, and offered more of a challenge.

“He doesn’t look like he’d be that difficult to beat, but he’s giving you some trouble.”

“It’s because I already went against two in a row,” I grunted out.

Jiyong and I were also in a staring match. At my words, he perked an eyebrow up. The facial tick was followed by a renewed burst of power in his arm.

My arm wobbled, drawing a round of noises from the onlookers.

“It’s okay to lose sometimes,” Jiyong said.

“I’m just letting you think you have a chance,” I retorted.

Taeyang rolled his eyes so emphatically that I saw his entire head roll.

“Even when they’re competing against each other they’re flirting.”

“Is that flirting?” Daesung asked. “I honestly can’t tell with those two sometimes.”

“You can tell she’s flirting because she hasn’t beat him yet,” Seunghyun said.

They were annoying me. Gritting my teeth, I put everything I had into my arm and forced Jiyong’s down to the table.

Jiyong let out a small yelp, rolling to the side as I let go of his hand.

I gave a small victory fist pump as he laid on the ground dramatically.

I pointed up at Taeyang.

“You’re next gym rat. Left hands though,” I gestured at my right arm, “because this is not working right now.”

I had suspected that Taeyang might be my downfall, and I was right. My weaker arm, and the tension in my shoulders from three rounds, paired with his musculature proved too much for me.

However, he was also the only one that I knew for sure hadn’t gone soft on me.

“Beating three out of four isn’t bad though. Seunghyun, would you like to try?”

Seunghyun shook his head, but offered no explanation as to why.

We finally moved onto the next question on the profile.

“The body part I’m most confident in is…” Hani started. “Now, Soo-Ah said that she thought you would maybe choose your eyes. Can we get a close up of your eyes?”

A cameraman walked in closer, focusing on my eyes. Heechul and Hani also leaned in a little closer.

“That’s your natural colour?” Hani asked.

“Yes.”

“It can’t be, look,” Heechul protested, “you can see the edge of a lens.”

I reached up and used my fingertip to slide the lens away from my pupil.

“No, they’re clear. Just for my vision.”

“Wow. So are you most confident in your eyes then?”

The cameraman withdrew to his previous post as I thought it over.

“Actually, if I had to choose, I’d say my thighs. My Kung Fu instructor always comments on the strength of my kicks, and they’re the muscles I’m most sure of.”

“Well, we can’t have you kicking anyone…” Heechul seemed to be thinking out loud.

“What about squats?” Seunghyun suggested.

“Perfect,” Heechul snapped his fingers. “Hani, get on her back.”

My stomach turned to knots.

“What?”

“She’ll get on your back and you have to do five squats.”

I swallowed, hoping that I wasn’t being super obvious in front of all the cameras.

Blinking, I settled down on one knee while Hani looped her arms around my neck.

“Is it okay if I…?” I moved my arms to the outside of her legs, indicating I’d hold her up.

“Sure.”

Looping my arms around her legs to secure her in place, I stood up.

She was light.

I turned my head to try to get a look at her.

“You okay?”

“Yes.”

“Alright.”

Setting my legs shoulder width apart, I dipped down and back up. Heechul counted out one aloud. It was easy.

The squats passed easily enough. After five, I squatted down again and gently let Hani back onto the ground.

“You’re not even out of breath,” she commented.

I smiled.

“It’s because you’re so light.”

Maybe she blushed? Maybe because of what I said? Maybe just from climbing on a stranger’s back. I don’t know. I didn’t care either.

She was cute.

Not that I wasn’t already aware of that.

“Ah, why am I blushing?” Hani pressed her hands against her cheeks.

“Because she’s a girl crush,” Heechul said it as if it was now a law.

And so it was written.

“That seemed easy for you,” Heechul continued. “Should we make it more difficult?”

“We could,” I shrugged, “but won’t that make this a little long?”

“Are you trying to avoid it? Feeling tired?”

I made an arrogant face, wondering what my image would be like after this show aired.

“What did you have in mind?”

Rather than having me do more squats with someone on my back, Heechul organised a competition between Seungri and I. Citing that both of us did martial arts, he made us both stay in a squatting position while we did more questions.

“What about the stick?” Seunghyun asked. “They should have something to make sure they stay low, right?”

The staff unscrewed the ends of two brooms and Seungri and I set the handles across our thighs.

We managed to stay in position through the entire discussion of what my special skill would be.

Soo-Ah’s voice floated through the studio, talking about my painting. Jiyong agreed, mentioning the time he had borrowed my sketchbook and making some comments about my style that made my face warm up.

Or maybe it was the exertion of keeping my knees at a 90° angle.

“Wouldn’t my skill be physical strength?” I asked. “I think after this, no one will remember that I even know what paint is.”

Seungri laughed, then coughed to cover a swear.

“Don’t make me laugh! You’ll make me fall!”

“You’re going to fall anyway,” I teased, “my teacher used to make us do this in class. My record was eight and a half minutes.”

“I can go for ten,” he grumbled.

“Okay let’s stop this then,” Heechul interrupted our bickering, “come sit back down.”

“She has a point though,” Hani leaned forward in her seat. “Luna, have you ever considered doing body building? Going to competitions and all that?”

“Uh… I thought about it when I was younger. Plus, now I’m doing well enough with teaching and accounting so I really only work out for myself. Maybe I could be a trainer if something goes wrong with my career.”

We quickly ran through the rest of the profile questions, and moved on to fan calls.

“Of course, Luna probably has her own fans by now, but these are still mostly for Big Bang.”

“We did try to choose ones that were relevant to your new show though.”

> “Seungri-oppa,” the disembodied voice of a fan came out of the speaker, “you and Luna-unnie are close in age, right? Do you think that helps to put you in the lead? Or do you feel that she prefers the older oppas?”

Seungri shook his head, laughing.

“Ah, seriously, when I found out her age I was a little annoyed that I’m still the youngest around. But I do think it helps a little bit, because we could speak comfortably right away.”

“Who asked who to speak comfortably first?”

Seungri turned to me, his brows knit together.

“Was it…?”

I racked my brain.

“I think… wasn’t it Daesung? Didn’t he first suggest that we all speak comfortably?”

“I thought it was GD-hyung?”

I turned towards Daesung and Jiyong.

Jiyong shrugged.

“It just happened naturally somehow,” Seungri explained.

“So you two feel close because of your age?” Heechul asked.

Seungri and I glanced at each other.

“Well, yes, a little bit,” Seungri seemed to be put off somehow. “But we’ve still only known each other for two weeks, so we can be awkward sometimes as well.”

“Has it only been two weeks?” Jiyong piped up. “It feels like she’s been around for ages.”

“Taeyang-ah, you seem distant from Luna. Do you not get along?”

Taeyang sucked air through his teeth before answering.

“I don’t always easily become comfortable with new people.”

“Especially girls,” Daesung chimed in.

“Yes,” Taeyang nodded, “I don’t dislike Luna, but we aren’t close at all.”

I nodded my agreement. I had to admit to myself that I had been a little curious about what he thought of me at this point. Not being disliked was actually a bit better than I had expected.

“What about you Luna? Do you feel distance between you two?”

“Yes, but it’s not uncomfortable or anything. We just,” I shrugged, at a loss for how to explain it.

“It’s not a bad feeling between them,” Daesung offered.

“Right. We just don’t know each other,” Taeyang agreed.

> “Noona! This is Kim Heonwoo. We met at the park the other day when I was out with my friends and you let us take a picture with you. One of my friends said she saw you leave with Zico and Mino-hyung. Are you becoming friends with many people besides Big Bang? Also, my friend Kim Junho likes you, so please say something cute for him.”

I had my face in my hands again, though this time I wasn’t laughing out loud.

Daesung tugged on my arm, rocking me back and forth.

“Lunaaaaa, why do we have so much competition?”

“Ai…” I stopped myself from swearing.

“I remember meeting those high schoolers while I was in the park. They were nice and asked just a few questions and we took a picture together. It felt strange to be asked for my picture, but it was nice.”

“What about Zico and Mino?” Heechul pushed.

“Ah, well, I met Mino at YG, and he was very friendly and helpful, so we exchanged numbers. I-”

“Who asked to exchange numbers?” Hani asked.

“He asked me. At first I wasn’t sure if I should give him my number or not, but eventually I gave it to him.”

“Why was it him that picked you up at the park?” Heechul pressed.

“I had been talking to him that day, and he was worried that I might be recognised or run into some antis or something, so he came to pick me up.”

“And Zico was with him?” Hani asked.

“Yes, I think they were together that day so Zico drove.”

“This is what I mean by she’s childish,” Seunghyun interjected, “she barely knows one person and she just trusts two men to pick her up.”

“Well she’s very strong, and knows martial arts, so I can understand her being comfortable,” Hani defended me. “Besides, I haven’t heard anything really bad about those two before. I’m not close with either of them, but if they offered help, why not accept it?”

“They’re still strangers,” Heechul offered, “I can understand why it might make T.O.P nervous. But you’re right, Luna seems capable of taking care of herself.”

I resisted the urge to look at Seungri, and just nodded.

“What about the last part? Please say something to Kim Junho.”

“Ah… Junho-ah, I-“

“Wait wait wait!” Heechul seemed giddy, “he said cute in his message. You should say something with aegyo!”

“Aegyo?” I pursed my lips and puffed up my cheeks, trying to think of any popular aegyo that I could maybe pull off.

“I’m not really good at that.”

“What about the oppa-yah song?” Jiyong suggested.

“I can’t do that for a high school student!”

“That’s true,” Hani agreed, “it’d be weird. What about your introduction? ‘Coming for your heart’ could be cute.”

“That would be good!”

“Augh! Can’t I just do push-ups or something?” I tried to wave Hani over to me. “Let’s do the squats again.”

“No no no,” Heechul seemed to be on an aegyo mission, “that’s not cute. But the ‘coming for your heart’ is good!”

I slumped on my stool and sighed heavily.

“Okay okay,” I shook my body out, “fine. Let me think for a second.”

Jiyong and Daesung leaned over and started giving me advice.

“Something like ‘if you’re not careful I’ll come for your heart’.”

“You have to do the hand motions too.”

“Alright alright alright,” I waved them away and stood up.

I took my hat off to let my hair forward, figuring I might be cuter if I was a little less masculine looking.

“What was his name again?”

“Kim Junho.”

“Okay,” I took a deep breath and put on what I hoped was a cute pouty expression.

“Junho-ah, if you’re not caaa~reful I’ll come for your heart!” I finished it off with a wink while firing off finger guns with two popping noises to mimic shots.

The entirety of the cast on stage and some of the staff burst into laughter.

Over dramatic, I fell to my knees and buried my face in my hands. Behind me I heard some member of Big Bang copying the popping sound I had made.

“Okay everyone, I think we broke her. Next week…”

As Heechul and Hani made their closing statements, Jiyong pulled me up from the floor. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and wiggled me back and forth.

“Aigoo… when did you get so cute?”

“Shut up,” I groaned through my still covering hands.

“Come on,” Daesung’s voice came from my other side. He tugged my hands away from my face.

“That was good. You did good.”

I rolled my eyes, but didn’t protest.

We all said our on screen goodbyes, and Jiyong did his memorised speech about the airdate and channel of the show.

* * *

 

While we shuffled around taking off makeup, the boys (specifically Daesung and Jiyong) kept teasing me, up until they were pulled aside by the crew.

Curiously, I tried to eavesdrop on what was happening. Sneaking up to the door, I held it open slightly to listen in on Jiyong.

It seemed to be a quick one-on-one segment for Date Roulette.

“You learned some new things about Luna today.”

“Ah, yes.” Jiyong replied.

“Anything surprising? Or was it about what you expected?”

“Luna is… I could tell that she’s been through difficult times. She hadn’t said much to me about it but,” he paused, humming slightly as he planned his sentence.

“I think, when you see everything together, you can see that she has struggled a lot.”

I quietly crept away from door; I didn’t think I wanted to hear this.

* * *

 

I headed into the waiting room, ready to turn back into myself.

Eventually, Hani approached me while I was trying to get hat imprints out of my hair.

“You did well today. We asked a lot of questions but you kept up well.”

“No, it wasn’t difficult,” I protested. For some reason I felt too warm.

“Still, for someone that isn’t used to this sort of thing you did well.”

“Thank you, you made it easy for me.”

She smiled and bowed before leaving.

“Are you blushing?”

I glanced up at Seunghyun, who was now resting his elbow on my shoulder.

“No. Shut up.”

“Are you talking down to me?”

“I’m sorry,” I made a point of being as formal as possible.

He didn’t acknowledge the apology. He only dropped his elbow from my shoulder and straightened out his jacket before completely changing subjects.

“What are you wearing tonight?”

“I haven’t thought about it yet,” I answered truthfully.

“Ah, I guess I’ll ask Jiyong then.”

With that, he walked away.

I puzzled over his comment while I pulled my jacket on. The weight of my phone thumped against my leg.

Phone… something about… Right!

> **From: Zico  
> ** **Is everything going well?**
> 
> **_To: Zico  
> _ ** **_Well enough…_ **

It took a minute for him to reply.

> **From: Zico  
> ** **Why “...”?**
> 
> **_To: Zico  
> _ ** **_… are you asking for Mino? Or for yourself?_ **

His response took a while. So long, in fact, that I was already in the process of putting my phone away when I felt it vibrate again.

> **From: Zico  
> ** **Both. Mino is worried about you, so I’m worried about you. We just have different reasons for worrying.**
> 
> **From: Zico  
>  I wonder what answer you would have preferred.**

I wanted to ask him to explain what he meant, but he had typed another message before I could finish mine.

> **From: Zico  
> ** **You should text Mino when you get a chance. He thinks he’s bothering you if he always texts first.**

Somehow, that made me feel a little guilty. I quickly switched to Mino’s chat.

> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Hey, what are you up to?_ **

* * *

I washed my hair and scrubbed the day’s filth off as soon as I got back to the hotel. For the first time since the zombie course, my skin felt that it could breathe again.

I didn’t have very long before I had to leave for the musical with Seunghyun, so I wrapped myself tightly in the hotel robe and went to face down my closet.

Nearly every bit of clothing I owned was now here, except for the ratty stuff. There were also one or two things that actually belonged to Soo-Ah. I sifted through the articles of clothing.

When my phone chimed, I was thankful for the distraction.

> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **Just some writing today.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **I heard you did well on Weekly Idol.**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_How do you know?_ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **Heechul’s instagram.**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_You follow Heechul?_ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **How was it?**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_It was okay. Fun._ **

A thought occurred to me.

> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_I’m going to a musical tonight. Any suggestions on what to wear?_ **

My phone was silent then. Either he wasn’t interested in helping, or he was doing research. Either way, it didn’t help me right then.

> **_To: Lyong Boho  
>  Would I be too predictable if I asked you for fashion help?_ **

He must have had his phone in his hand already when I messaged him, because he responded nearly instantly.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  I already have an entire outfit picked out.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
>  Should I bring it up now?**
> 
> **_To: Lyong Boho  
>  Of course._ **

Even though Jiyong arrived just a few minutes later, Mino still had time to text me back.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Who are you going with?**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  Choi Seunghyun._ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
>  Oh. That’s difficult. How much do you like him?**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  I think we both only tolerate each other._ **

I was interrupted from pestering Mino further by Jiyong stepping into my suite, bag in hand.

“How did yo-“

“I helped choose the musical as the date. I know your sizes from before but I’m not too sure about the dress,” he ushered me down the hall, “go try it on.”

The bag felt heavy. At first I thought he had brought shoes but it turned out that most of the weight was due to the dress being made from high quality velvet.

The dress itself was strapless, but Jiyong had included a shrug to hide the small pieces of ink, and (let’s be real) the bra-straps, that would be visible. The deep blue of the dress made me look pale, and the black of the shrug only strengthened the effect.

There was only one problem.

“Ji-yah?”

“Yes?” His voice was muffled through my door.

“You can come in. I need some help.”

Jiyong stepped into the room and tilted his head.

“What’s wrong with your dress?”

I spun and let the shrug slide down my arms.

“I can’t get the zipper all the way up.”

The room felt quiet. The only thing I could hear was the soft noise of Jiyong’s clothes as he stepped up behind me.

I felt my shoulder involuntarily twitch when the skin of his fingers made contact.

“Are my hands cold?”

I shook my head, both in response and to clear my thoughts.

“It’s the closure. Now I’ll… uh… zip it up… there.”

I felt the cloth of the dress tighten around my ribs as the zipper closed. The pressure accented my heartbeat.

“Is it good?” Jiyong asked.

“I think so,” I turned to face him. He was still incredibly close.

“What do you think?”

He shook his head slightly, but his lips held a small smile.

“What?” I prodded.

“There’s this feeling of ‘why am I helping her get ready for a date?’... but you look good.”

I nodded. I didn’t know what else to do, so I pulled the shrug back up my arms.

Something about that seemed to break the strange feeling in the air.

“Make sure to keep that on tonight.”

I nodded, stepping towards my dresser to create some more space between us.

“I know. Besides,” I picked through the pieces of jewellery on top of the dresser, “I don’t think the straps really match with the dress anyway.”

“Here,” Jiyong lifted a necklace and pulled it around my neck. “That’s not it. Seunghyun likes modesty and propriety and things like that. If it was me…”

His hands left the now fastened necklace and tapped at the top of the shrug. He didn’t finish his sentence. Instead he gingerly pulled back an inch or so of cloth.

“Is it okay?”

In my mirror, I could see that his lips were just centimetres from my neck. I nodded.

He softly kissed my skin. He then buried his face in my neck.

“I shouldn’t,” he groaned.

“Why not?”

He lifted his head to rest his chin on my shoulder. From there he met my gaze in the mirror.

“If I’m completely honest, I want to leave a mark. Something right about…” his hand tugged the shrug back a little more, “here.”

His fingers tapped the point where my collar bone met with my trapezius.

“Just to make sure I keep it on?”

He shook his head.

“Then why?”

He blushed and hid his head behind my shoulder.

“To show Seunghyun to keep away.”

“I’m one hundred percent certain that you don’t have to worry about that,” I laughed.

Before Jiyong left, I asked him to take a picture of me. He happily obliged, but then insisted on taking one on his phone as well. The only difference was that he wanted a selfie.

I actually preferred selfies sometimes. There are rules about what to do with your hands and what expressions to make. Solo shots left me feeling panicky and had too many options.

“One more, one more,” Jiyong kept saying after each shot.

“Ji-yaaahhh…” I complained.

“Last one, I promise.”

I settled into a smile next to him once again.

“One, two…”

He quickly turned and kissed my cheek while pressing the shutter button. The kiss itself wasn’t a problem to me, but the picture was strange.

“Ji-yah!”

He grinned and looked at the picture, ignoring my exclamation.

“Ji… we shouldn’t take pictures like that, should we?”

“Why not?” He seemed too relaxed about this.

“What if you lose your phone?”

“There’s a passcode,” he shrugged. “Plus I uploaded the pictures to my cloud, so now they’re not even on here.”

“What if someone hacks your cloud?!”

“It hasn’t happened yet,” he offered me a reassuring smile. “Come on, you gotta get going.”

In the elevator I finally picked up my conversation with Mino again.

> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_[image]_ **
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Jiyong got me sorted out._ **

The typing bubble popped up, then disappeared, then back up… after about a minute of this I finally got a message.

> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **You look good (oT-T)尸**

I laughed at his reaction and put my phone on silent before responding.

> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Thanks. I have to go now._ **

* * *

The musical was everything you could expect from something that had collaborated with ABBA. The story itself was a little boring at some points, but I was most excited to go backstage afterwards.

While I wasn’t massively into kpop, I knew some things. Plus, who doesn’t love aesthetics and concept kings? All in all, I was excited that we had managed to come on a night where Anatoly was played by Ken.

“Who do you want to meet?” Seunghyun asked.

He had ushered me into a hallway, keeping his body between me and the press that was around. It seemed like the first thoughtful thing he had done. Or was it earlier, in the woods?

> “Tell me what happened.”
> 
> “I can’t believe you want to talk about it right now.”
> 
> We had fashioned a quick screen out of some leaf covered branches. I leaned against the tree, keeping an eye out for more zombies.
> 
> Seunghyun stayed quiet.
> 
> “Fine. What did Jiyong tell you?”
> 
> “Why does that matter?”
> 
> “Because I don’t want to go over stuff if I don’t have to.”
> 
> “He said Seungri behaved badly, that you reacted naturally, and that he wasn’t going to involve anyone else unless you wanted to.”
> 
> “Well there you go.”
> 
> Seunghyun put his hand on the muzzle of my paintball gun, breaking my concentration on being a lookout.
> 
> “What?” I looked up at him, annoyed.
> 
> “Did he hurt you?”
> 
> His face had an expression I hadn’t seen yet. It seemed so alien that it took me a minute to realise that it was something like compassion.
> 
> “Not really,” I shook my head. “Only for a minute,” I shrugged.
> 
> “How did he hurt you? Where?”
> 
> It was a weird question, though maybe it was just poor wording.
> 
> “Just my wrist. It’s fine now though.”
> 
> “And non-physically? How are you?”
> 
> For some reason my eyes stung. I wanted to cry. Not really because of what had happened but more because of how pitiful I must have been to get sympathy from the statue.
> 
> Of course, crying would only make me look worse.
> 
> “I’m f…” I tried to say I was okay, but halfway through I was compelled to honesty.
> 
> “I don’t like being around him. He’s… disgusting to me now. Every time he touches me, my skin crawls.”
> 
> Seunghyun nodded, looking like he might have understood.
> 
> He pushed some gear out of the way and pulled me in for a proper hug.
> 
> “He won’t touch you again. I’ll make sure.”

“I…”

He wasn’t listening. He kept glancing over his shoulder, checking to see if we were getting any attention from the photographers down the hall.

There were a few that took some shots of us. A young woman with a camera that seemed larger than her head was particularly interested.

Idly, I wondered if she was press or a fansite for one of the cast members. Hell, she might be both.

“I think if we go down here we’ll be out of the way,” Seunghyun ushered me further down the hallway, towards the dressing rooms.

He stopped once we had turned the corner.

“Did you say who you wanted to meet?”

“Right, uh, I… I’d like to meet Ken if I could,” I felt strange saying it. As if I was admitting to something embarrassing.

“I thought you di…” Seunghyun cut himself off, shaking his head. “Okay, let's go.”

“Wait,” I pulled his sleeve, “your tie is a little…”

I reached up to fix his bow tie, only to find that instead of the pliable fabric I expected, my hands found ceramic.

“That… huh…” I dropped my hands, “okay then…”

Seunghyun looked a little startled. He shook his arms slightly and seemed to take a second to get back to his normal self.

In the process, I could have sworn he actually blushed.

* * *

 

“Seriously? You’re here? Oh my gosh! Oh gosh why am I so shy? This is such an honour.”

Lee Jaehwan was pretty much exactly what I expected. Bright, polite, and with a tendency to get tongue tied.

“No, no,” Seunghyun was gracious, a trait I hadn’t witnessed yet. “I just wanted to congratulate you and perhaps introduce my date. She’s a fan of yours.”

“Date?” Ken seemed a little surprised, but brushed it off.

Seunghyun moved aside and ushered me forward.

“This is my date, Luna.”

Ken gave me a polite bow, which I returned.

I have to admit, I made a bit of an effort to make sure I bowed lower than he had. I don’t know if Ken noticed, but I saw a muscle jump in Seunghyun’s jaw.

“Ah, my fans are always so pretty,” Ken commented.

“Your performance tonight was very good. Of course an idol would have good vocal control but your acting as well? Amazing.”

“Oh, you’re so nice, thank you. But,” Ken looked me over, “haven’t I seen you somewhere? On TV or something?”

“Ah… that,” I looked to Seunghyun for help.

“Yes,” he stepped forward again, looping his arm through mine.

“Luna is doing some filming with me. It’s a new show. A bit of a twist on the idea of We Got Married.”

“Right!” Ken nodded, “that one… Date Ro… Rolling? Date Ru…”

“Date Roulette,” I offered.

“Yes, of course!”

I noticed that he seemed a little restless. Taking the cue, I bowed again.

“You’re probably eager to get cleaned up. Seunghyun and I shouldn’t keep you any longer. I’m glad to have met you and seen your acting tonight.”

After we left Jaehwan to clean up, we stopped in to say hello to a few other actors that Seunghyun knew.

These others didn’t seem to take much notice of me, and Seunghyun didn’t make much effort to introduce or include me in his conversations.

At one point I even excused myself, pretending that I need to use the bathroom.

* * *

 

I wandered down a hall that seemed familiar. There were photos of the walls from other productions that the theatre had put on. I looked them over, trying to see if I knew any of the featured plays or actors.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flower arrangement floating down the hallway towards me.

No, not floating. It had legs. Slender legs that ended in designer shoes.

Of course by then the flowers were upon me.

“Excuse me,” I squeaked, pressing myself against the wall so I didn’t collide with the flowers.

A model-esque face found its way between some genetically modified daisies.

“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t see you there. Do you know which way to Lee Jaehwan’s dressing room?”

His diction was just as elegant as he was.

I think I managed to stay pretty cool. I just bowed and gestured towards the room I had met Ken in.

“Ah, of course. I couldn’t see over the flowers. Thank you.”

He seemed to be a little too willowy to handle the flowers and the door at the same time, so I stepped up and opened the door for him.

“I’ll do it.”

“Thank you again,” he gave me a petal obstructed smile.

Honestly? Iconic. Of course my first interaction with Cha Hakyeon would be through a screen of flowers and leaves. He really was living the concept life.

“Hyung~~ you didn’t have to come!” Ken bubbled over the flowers.

Through the gap in the door, I could see that Hongbin had arrived as well.

“Of course I came to support you, I cou-“

The door swung shut behind them.

“Crazy,” I breathed the word out, lost in that sense of absurdity again.

I returned to examining the photos.

I was staring at one, trying to figure out who it was sitting second in the middle row that looked so familiar.

“There you are!” I turned to find Seunghyun… bearing down was the only description that fit what he was doing. Maybe swooping? Either way, he was obviously annoyed, and coming towards me.

I allowed myself a simple pleasure and ignored his attitude and pointed at the picture.

“Who’s this?”

“What?” He seemed to deflate slightly.

“This person. Do you know who they are?”

He leaned in, looking closely.

“Isn’t he from B.A.P? Jung… something.”

“Really?” I examined the man, “I should have recognised Daehyun. Anyway,” I turned back to Seunghyun and tilted my head, “you were looking for me?”

He blinked, for a second his face seemed… normal.

“Right,” his vague scowl slowly returned, “some of the cast is going for drinks. We’ve been invited.”

I was about to respond when he held up a hand to hush me.

“Personally, I don’t want to go. I don’t like drinking on dates.”

I smiled.

“That works out perfectly then. I don’t really want to go either.”

“You two aren’t coming?”

I looked past Seunghyun to see the woman who had played Svetlana pouting.

“We’ve had a very long day,” Seunghyun turned to explain. “And tomorrow we have a very early day as well.”

“Ah,” a more familiar voice joined the conversation, “you need your rest. But before you go, can I steal Luna for a minute?”

Seunghyun’s jaw clenched slightly, but he gestured me towards where Ken was standing in the doorway to his dressing room.

I stepped up and Ken looped his arm through mine. He turned back towards his room and ushered me inside.

“You’re a fan of all of us, right? Or is it just me?”

“All of you, of course.”

Ken made brief introductions to the room at large. He introduced me by name first, then as a fan, and tacked on that I had been Seunghyun’s date at the end.

I appreciated it. Being presented as my own person instead of an accessory to someone that ranked higher than me was a small thing, but a kind one.

Hakyeon bowed and thanked me for my help before.

“If I had known you were a fan I wouldn’t have let you do it.”

“It’s not a problem,” I waved his comment away. “I would have done it even if I wasn’t a fan.”

Hongbin bowed and offered a handshake. He didn’t say much besides thanking me for liking VIXX.

Not that he really got a chance to say much more.

I was sent into him by the door opening and bumping me forward. Hongbin gripped my arms to steady me.

“Careful!” Hakyeon warned us, or scolded Hyuk.

Hyuk, seeing what his hasty entrance had caused, quickly apologised.

“Sorry, sorry,” he bowed.

“I’m okay,” I reassured him. “Sorry,” I offered to Hongbin.

“It’s not your fault.”

“Luna?”

Hongbin’s hand immediately loosened from my arm as Seunghyun entered the increasingly small space.

“Yes?”

“Wait,” Hyuk raised his hands, half pointing at Seunghyun and I, “Luna? You’re the girl from that Big Bang show!”

I froze at Hyuk’s outburst.

“That’s you?” Hakyeon asked.

“How are you a fan of VIXX then?” Hongbin asked.

“You’re famous?” Ken asked.

I looked to Seunghyun for help.

He shrugged. Useless.

“Ah, yes,” I started, organising my thoughts as I spoke them, “I’m… that’s me. I, ah, I don’t think I’m famous.”

“But why do you like us?” Hongbin pressed. “I read that you don’t like pop music.”

“Wha… how… ah… where did you read that?”

Hongbin shrugged, “somewhere online.”

Seunghyun watched me struggle, still offering no help whatsoever.

“Uhm,” I bit the tip of my tongue while I mentally churned the conversation.

“I guess… I mean,” I shrugged, “I like art. So… yeah, I like you guys.”

The ⅔ of VIXX that I had met had seemed flattered by my calling their group art.

Seunghyun seemed amused.

I was embarrassed to no end.

* * *

 

> _**To: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Am I an idiot?** _
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **If you are, you’re great at hiding it. Why?**
> 
> _**To: Lyong Boho  
> ** **I feel like maybe everyone is laughing at me behind my back.** _
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Would it really matter if they were?**

I stared at the screen. In my mind, he had essentially admitted that, yes, everyone was laughing at me.

I dropped my phone on my lap and turned towards the window of the car. I just wanted to go home. To my real home. I was better off with just Soo-Ah and Ttungbo and the few other friends that I could trust to see me as an equal.

“What’s wrong?”

I didn’t answer Seunghyun for a second. Of all people to talk to… I already knew he saw me as less than dirt. I couldn’t admit to him that...

“I’m not good at this.”

Okay, maybe I could. At least he was honest about looking down on me.

I kept my eyes on the sidewalk that rushed by. No way did I want to see the look on his face. I could imagine it well enough; smug, maybe even triumphant.

“You’ll get better.”

At that, I turned to look at Seunghyun.

His face was blank, focused on the road. Ever rigid, ever masked… even when he relaxed he was reserved.

“I’m not sure I want to get better.”

The corner of his mouth twitched slightly.

“You don't have much choice. But you handled today pretty well.”

I was reminded of the cameras attached to his dashboard by a blink of light. I wondered what sort of non-disclosure agreement the editors had to sign.

“Why are you being kind today?”

That earned me a full glance from Seunghyun.

“It was something Producer Chul said.”

I waited for him to explain, but he remained silent.

I should have figured. He was being nice for the cameras.

I turned to watch the city slide past.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Did something happen?**

I ignored the text and opened Instagram instead. The members of VIXX had been very gracious, especially after the art comment, and offered to take photos with me. Ken had even commented that I must tag him when I post them.

I wasn’t sure how sincere he had been, but I did a quick clean up of my photo feed before posting.

I wanted to smooth my skin out a little bit, but editing the photo would have only made them look less perfect. I left it alone.

I typed up a flattering caption — VIXX, who create art with every one of their endeavours, please continue forever. Ken, whose performance was without flaw, good luck in future work — and tagged Ken as he requested.

I tapped the red flag on the bottom of my screen. The number was illogically large. I had taken Chul’s advice when I started and turned off pop up notifications for my social media, so I had been mostly unaware of any goings on.

My follower count, previously in the mid seventies, had jumped to several thousand. There were likes on old photos, and tags on new ones.

The comments though…

On a candid photo of me walking on the street — Isn’t this the girl that is stealing our Big Bang oppas? I saw her at the train station. I should have pushed her onto the tracks!

On one of my pictures from last summer — How can a woman show so much skin so freely? Does she work at a Russian bar?

On a photo of me with Ttungbo — Which one is the dog?!

I was going to check my DMs when I saw a new notification show up.

Ken had liked my photo.

More than that, he had started following me.

More than that, N and Hyuk had followed me as well.

A memory came back.

> “You should go through your SNS and take out your phone number.”

I quickly headed to Facebook.

Nothing. Nothing out of the norm anyway. Probably because I still had it under my deadname. Still, Jiho was right. I quickly changed my settings and made my page entirely private.

I switched back to Instagram.

My DMs notification glowed on my screen, an ominous sign of uncharted waters.

The girls were mostly mean.

The men were… like men usually are on the internet. The only change there was some angry expats who couldn’t see the hypocrisy of their anger. I was traitor to my race and my country, nevermind that these men exclusively dated Korean women. I rolled my eyes. I had heard the rhetoric before, though usually only in clubs and through a haze of alcohol and the stench of vomit.

“We’re here.”

I looked up from my work of blocking some of the more vitriolic netizens. We were indeed here.

The sight of the hotel reminded me how tired I was.

“Thank god.”

Seunghyun stopped me before I got to the elevator in the parking garage. His eyes were narrow, and his brow slightly creased. His hand was on my arm, but he seemed to be rethinking whatever he had been about to say.

“What’s up?” I prodded.

He licked his lips and shook his head slightly.

“Why don’t we like each other?”

My brain was filled with a hundred responses.

“We’re stubborn,” I shrugged off the more insulting options. “You like being the boss, and I hate being bossed around.”

Seunghyun dropped my arm, nodding. He didn’t say anything. He simply walked by and got into the elevator.

The ride up was silent. He got off on the boys’ floor, offering only a bow in goodbye.

* * *

 

I walked to my room alone, phone in hand.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Did something happen?**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Was it Seunghyun?**

I paused typing a reply to unlock my door.

My reply stayed paused.

The light in the living area was on. My previously worn out nerves sprung into high alert. There was a sound to my left.

Quickly, as quietly as I could, I toed my shoes off. I padded as silently as I could to the kitchen.

My body relaxed slightly when I saw the increasingly familiar small frame in my kitchen.

“What are you doing in here?”

Jiyong spun, wine bottle in one hand, wine glass in the other. He smiled sheepishly.

“I uh… I was worried when you didn’t respond,” he turned and set the drinking accouterments on the counter, “I wanted to be here in case something had gone wrong.”

I leaned against the fridge, watching him fill two glasses.

He placed one on the counter next to me. I obliged the gesture and took a sip.

It was dry. Rich. Obviously meant to be paired with an expensive cut of meat.

Jiyong opened his mouth to speak, but I quickly cut him off.

“I need to get out of this dress,” I turned and let my shrug fall down to my elbows. “Can you…?”

I was met with a beat of silence. Then the sound of glass on imitation granite, followed by more silence.

“Well?” I glanced over my shoulder.

I had seen Jiyong act playful. I had seen him act confident. I had seen the way that concern stretched across his face what felt like a hundred times. I hadn’t seen quite this expression before though.

Jiyong’s teeth were tugging at one side of his bottom lip. His eyes were vacantly staring at the back of my dress. The grip on his wineglass threatened to break the stem.

I pulled the shrug up again, breaking him out of his trance. He shook his head, slowly pulling himself together. But I was already in the hall.

“No worries,” I called over my shoulder, “I’m sure I can figure something out.”

My hand was on the handle of my bedroom door when he caught up with me.

“You won’t be able to reach it.”

I pushed the door open and dropped my shrug onto my bed.

“I said I’d figu-“

His fingertips landed on my back, unclipping the small closure at the top of the zipper. My chest expanded slightly as the zipper itself was undone.

“There. You’re probably tired of all the fancy stuff,” Jiyong’s voice retreated into the hall. “Go take a shower. I’ll wait.”

The door clicked shut behind him.

A shower. Take a shower. It was an appealing idea.

My skin was hot. I could faintly feel the spots on my back where Jiyong’s skin had made contact with mine.

I peeled the dress off and replaced it with my bathrobe. A shower… had he meant it like that?

I showered quickly, rinsing the day’s events off for the second time. The length of the day hit me. Waking up before sunrise, getting home after midnight. I supposed that was normal for the boys.

Once I was done with washing, I quickly pulled on some gym shorts and a tank top. No need for anything too fancy, right?

Jiyong sat on the loveseat. He was staring out of the window, or perhaps just in that direction. He was leaning forward, wineglass dangling dangerously from one hand, and his hair had obviously been disturbed by his hands a few times. His glass was still mostly full as well.

I swung through the kitchen to pick up my own glass before going to him.

“Nothing to report sir,” I perched on the armrest of the oversized seat.

He sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back. The wineglass was transferred to his other hand, and the newly freed one found its way around my waist.

“Your texts worried me.”

I tucked my legs up, leaning my head against my knees. I caught the reflection of the two of us in the big glass doors that led to the small balcony. Even tired and stressed, Jiyong looked put together. I studied the composition of our positions, deciding that I wanted to paint it -- probably in a fantasy style. I tilted my head, trying to make myself look more like an animal in the reflection. An exhausted king and pet owl maybe.

Jiyong’s eyes were open again, and I saw that he was watching me in the reflection as well.

“I was just self conscious about meeting some of the members from VIXX,” I smiled quickly, using too much eye, “nothing to worry about.”

“I would have worried anyway,” Jiyong’s hand flexed as he said it, fingers finding the small section of my shirt that had ridden up on my side. “I guess I’ll be like that for all of your one-on-one dates now.”

It felt a little strange to be talking through our reversed images in the glass, but somehow it wouldn’t have helped to actually face each other.

I let my legs fall to either side of the armrest, still playing with the ideas for a painting in my head.

“Because of Seungri?”

Jiyong only hummed in response.

I stood, body tingling slightly at the feeling of his hand falling from it’s position. Emptying my cup, I stretched.

“Everything went well tonight,” I turned to face him then. “It’s late.”

He set his glass down and then held a hand out towards me.

“Sit with me.”


	15. Daesung: Monday

I replayed the previous night in my head while I picked over my eggs.

> I stirred, brain heavy with the need for sleep. I felt a hand playing with my hair.
> 
> “I should go.”
> 
> Part of me wanted to protest, but Jiyong was right. It wouldn’t do for any of the crew to find him in my suite, never mind my bed, in the morning.
> 
> But he was comfortable. His shirt was soft against my cheek, and his deferential manners were endearing.
> 
> I groaned, letting my arm tighten over his body.

God, how weak could I be? Was basic interest all it took to get my boundaries to disappear?

It felt like a trick.

> Jiyong laughed at my clinging to his shirt.
> 
> “You want me to stay?”
> 
> “You’re warm,” I replied, petulant, not actually answering the question.
> 
> “Hmm,” I felt him kiss my hair, “I want to stay too.”

I shook my head as I remembered the next part. Mindlessly, I started the washing up and getting ready for a day of… something.

> “I feel like you might be manipulating me,” I admitted.
> 
> Jiyong shifted and turned on my bed so that he could look down at me directly.
> 
> “I’m not. I know that my saying it probably doesn’t count for much, but I’m really not.”
> 
> He leaned down, pressing a kiss against the corner of my mouth.
> 
> “In fact,” he laid another kiss on my cheek, “sometimes I feel,” a third kiss, this time on my neck, “like you’re the one manipulating me.”

I blushed at the memory, deciding to get some painting done. I was definitely weak to the implied flattery. I knew that I wasn’t manipulating him, but the fact that he felt that way made me feel… powerful.

> “Shit.”
> 
> He had mumbled the swear, apparently speaking to himself more than me.
> 
> “What’s wrong?”
> 
> “I figured it out.”
> 
> I leaned up on my elbow, looking up at him sitting against the headboard. The shine of the TV gave his skin a sickly tone, but also highlighted his sharp features.

I wandered into the bedroom, noticing the dip in the pillows from where he had lain. I ignored the tense feeling in my gut while I checked the weather on my phone and pulled together an outfit.

> “What did you figure out?”
> 
> Jiyong reached out and brushed his fingers through my hair, sweeping it back from my face. He said nothing.
> 
> I scooted up, moving to my hands and knees over one of his legs.
> 
> He watched me, looking a little sad somehow.
> 
> “What’s wrong?”
> 
> He smiled, soft and slow, then, shaking his head.
> 
> “Nothing,” he reached out again, beckoning me closer, “I just really like you.”

I pulled the tank top over my head. It brought a slight smell of his… cologne, soap, deodorant… whatever it was. It had apparently permeated the cloth while we had spent the night loosely tangled up.

My phone chimed.

> **From: Daesung  
> ** **I guess we should meet up. I don’t have a schedule.**

Right. Seungri was done. Time to give Daesung a chance.

> **To: Daesung  
> ** **Alright. Should we meet in the lobby in fifteen minutes?**
> 
> **_From: Daesung  
> _ ** **_How about a half an hour?_ **
> 
> **To: Daesung  
> ** **Okay.**

I got dressed and put the easel away. Painting would have to wait. I packed up some pencils instead. I would be early to the lobby, but maybe I’d be able to get a rough outline started for the painting.

* * *

 

The light foot traffic through the lobby served as a pretty good background noise to my sketching. Just enough bustle to fill some of my brain, without actually being a distraction. Footsteps, soft dings of elevators, the woosh of air passing through the revolving doors.

“Who is that?”

I looked up at Daesung.

He was peering curiously over my shoulder at my sketchbook.

“Some king or something.”

He shook his head, gesturing to the side of the drawing.

“I mean the woman. Is she the queen?”

I looked down at the paper. My own self esteem issues had stopped me from seeing the woman that way. In my mind, she was still just the pet. Courtesan, mistress, something like that.

“I’m not sure yet,” I sighed, “I think maybe she has more power than I realised though.”

Daesung straightened up, tilting his head at me.

“But she’s your creation. Wouldn’t you know?”

I smiled as I packed my book into my bag.

“You’d think that, wouldn’t you?”

* * *

 

Daesung suggested going for a walk along the river. It was nice out, perfect weather for a stroll in the park.

We walked without talking much, just watching other people and the water in turn. It seemed like everyone was out to take advantage of the weather.

“Wait here,” Daesung indicated a bench looking over the water. “I’ll be right back.”

“Ah, okay…” I sat down, not really minding the sudden change from the lazy energy of our walk to his excited tone.

I watched him quickly walk away across the grass for a second before turning back to the river. I took the moment alone as a chance to check my phone.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Sorry I left like that.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **I really couldn’t stay any later.**

I stared at the texts, trying to think of a response while I waited for Daesung to come back from wherever he had popped off to.

> **_To: Lyong Boho  
> _ ** **_It’s okay. I don’t know how I would have reacted if you had stayed._ **
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Why? It’s not like anything happened.**

He was right. The furthest it had gone was when he had lifted my shirt slightly.

> Jiyong’s skin had that well kept texture. Daily moisturisers and carefully curated soaps were obviously part of his lifestyle.
> 
> I wondered how mine compared when his abs pressed against my newly exposed stomach.
> 
> He let out a moan, biting my lip to show his appreciation of the fresh skin contact.
> 
> His shirt had been unbuttoned a while ago, while I had sat in his lap and taken advantage of his sensitivity.

“Did you forget sunscreen? You’re getting red.”

I squinted up at Daesung, who was backlit by the midday sun.

“Ah,” I scrambled to get my thoughts in order, “I think I’m just overheating.”

“Well this should help,” Daesung held up a plastic bag.

He pulled out two ice creams. After opening them and handing one to me, he also pulled a key with a tag attached out of his pocket.

“Let’s go on the water.”

* * *

 

“I haven’t been in one of these since I was a kid.”

Daesung smiled at the comment, pleased with his idea.

He was careful to help me into the plastic contraption, holding onto my hand tightly to keep me steady until I sat down.

The sun shone on his skin, highlighting the coppery tone. He was made for bright summer days.

The river was lazy; the current barely pulling at our little boat. Eventually both Daesung and I rested our feet on the dashboard area, letting the water gently turn us about.

“Can I ask you something?”

I tilted my sunglasses down to look at Daesung.

“What’s up?”

Daesung paused, shaking his hair from his eyes before continuing.

“You and Jiyong seem close…” he trailed off.

Having already noticed some similarities between Daesung and I, I settled back into my seat. I trusted that he’d figure out the words in a minute.

“What’s your ideal type?”

I hummed, thinking over what to say.

Did I even have a type? I thought back to high school. I had dated football players, theatre nerds, a cheerleader, even a chess champion...

“I always dreamed of the type of person that would confess cooly,” I shrugged, “but I also have low self-esteem. So I usually ended up with unpopular people who thought I was too good for them.”

I let my hand fall to draw a trail in the water.

“I almost always confessed first, and I never got turned down until I was 21.”

“You dated a lot then?”

I shrugged.

“Not really. I would date one guy for a long time,” I smiled at the eddies my hand caused, “my mother used to joke that I was too young to be married.”

Looking up, I shot Daesung a self deprecating smile.

“Now look at me. Over thirty, not married, and on a reality celebrity dating show.” I shook my head, “I don’t think it’s quite what she had in mind for me.”

Daesung considered my answer in silence for a while.

“You didn’t really answer the question.”

I shrugged again, leaning back and closing my eyes. I wanted to enjoy the warmth, but also not face the reaction to my words.

“I’m not sure I have a type. I guess when I look at my past… the guys who weren’t evil at all were the jazz musician and the astrophysicist.”

I heard him move, and the boat swayed a bit more.

“You dated evil guys?”

“Sure. Every woman has. There are loads of them out there, and they’re pretty good at hiding.”

Only the faint sounds of water and other people in their own boats floated around us.

I peeked one eye open.

Daesung was leaning forward in his seat, using the dashboard as support. He stared out over the water, his head resting on his crossed arms.

I opened my other eye.

His brow was creased.

“What’s up?”

He glanced over at me and sighed heavily before leaning back in his seat.

“I know it’s true,” he rubbed one hand over his brow, “but it doesn’t make sense.”

“That’s good though,” I let my feet down so I could sit up properly, “if you don’t understand the point of cruelty, you’re probably not a cruel person.”

* * *

 

Being with Daesung was comfortable. Even though we hadn’t spent a lot of time together before, we fell into an easy way of engaging with each other.

It helped that he didn’t seem to actually be treating our time together like a date. We went on the paddle boat, went walking along the Han, wandered around some local stores… it was the sort of day I might have had with Soo-Ah.

I was carefully looking over some watches when he gave the next sign of doing something “for the show.”

I turned to him.

“I don’t understand wo… what are you doing?”

He had his hand raised, palm down, next to his head and was squinting slightly. When I caught him, he didn’t bother trying to hide his odd behaviour.

“I thought you were shorter than me.”

I smiled a little. It seemed weird that he was only now noticing.

“It’s my shoes,” I turned a heel out to show them off, “a little bit of a wedge, but still looks like tennis shoes. They’re kind of my favourite.”

“You don’t really need them.”

I shrugged, “yeah. But there’s no way to make myself shorter, so why not go all in? Anyway,” I held up one of the watches, “what is up with women’s watches being so weird looking?”

Daesung made an adorably confused look at my question. I immediately decided to keep going.

“Look at this thing, it’s just bad design. The watch face is longer tha…”

I wasn’t even really aware of what I was saying. I just kept going so I could watch the faces Daesung made. It wasn’t exactly difficult to rant about watches for a good five minutes, it was a topic I had long held passionate views about.

“... they’re the equivalent of fake pockets for your wrist,” I eventually finished, placing the watch back on the display.

Daesung was grinning.

“What about men’s watches?”

I held up a hand, turning to look at the men’s selection.

“Men’s watches at least usually make sense! Let me… okay like this one is a perfect example. The strap attaches h…”

In the back of my mind I could see that Daesung and I had switched roles. He was watching me now, and I was kind of just along for the ride of my own dissertation on watches.

“You’re cute.”

I frowned, turning back to the display of watches.

“Anyway… I think I’m going to get this one for my cousin.”

Daesung looked curiously around my shoulder. For the first time that day I remembered that he was a man.

“Seungri mentioned that you had to get a birthday present for your cousin.”

“Mm,” I nodded, examining the watch, “this is a different cousin. I need to get him a congratulations gift.”

Daesung nodded, still looking over the watches.

“What’s his style like?”

I carefully considered the question before answering. Did Eddy have a style? In my mind he was still the 16 year old obsessed with bass fishing, but I was pretty certain that image was considerably out of date.

“I guess he’s like… well,” I shrugged, “he calls himself a DJ, but he makes his money from manufacturing.” I frowned, just now realising that Eddy would probably leave his job. I shook my head to chase the worry away. He was an adult by now, not the infant with a light shaped head that I had helped raise.

“He dresses like a nerd, but in streetwear. He was really into Supreme for a minute, but then he changed his mind and said it was just painting things red.”

A snort sounded to my left. I looked up to see the cashier holding her hand over her face, obviously trying not to laugh. I smiled at her, trying to silently tell her that I wasn’t offended.

* * *

 

I ended up buying a simple watch with a red strap, mostly as a joke. I knew he’d prefer a bottle of something foreign that he could flash around at people he wanted to impress, so I figured I’d buy something like that for the real gift.

“What do you want to do now?”

We were sitting on a bench outside a coffee shop. I was chewing at my straw while we watched people go about their daily errands.

I shrugged.

“Come on,” Daesung nudged me with his shoulder, “you look like you have something you want to do.”

“Well,” I shrugged again, “if I’m totally honest, I kind of want to go back to the hotel. I had planned to get some painting done.”

“Alright,” Daesung stood, zero hesitation in his movement. “Let’s go.”

I dragged myself off the bench and smiled.

“Let’s stop at the corner store on the way.”

* * *

 

Daesung was glad to accept my invitation to hang around while I painted. Having picked up some supplies on the way home made it easy for the both of us to relax in a parallel play sort of way.

I made us both drinks while Daesung paired his phone with the speakers meant for the room’s television.

I offered Chul, my seemingly constant cameraman for these smaller gatherings, a drink as well. He declined with a bashful gesture to his camera.

“Ah… I guess you’re on the clock right now, huh?”

I set up my area and teased Daesung about his playlist selection. It seemed to be mostly ballad style songs. Not exactly my thing, but not really bad either. Good background sort of music.

Daesung took up residence on the sofa, amusing himself with his phone.

At first I felt a little pressured to entertain him, but he kept insisting that he was fine. On my second drink, I was actually beginning to believe him. By my third I was convinced.

Eventually we settled into something that felt like a movie scene. Daesung sprawled across the sofa, eyes shut, humming softly along with the music. I tried to figure out if adding anything else to the picture in front of me would ruin it or not.

I sucked my teeth, feeling that there was something missing, but unsure what it was.

“When did you start painting?”

My eyes were glued to the painting, but in my periphery I saw Daesung sit up.

“Hmm?”

“How long have you been painting?”

I decided that the woman in the picture was too cute. It diminished the ominous quality that I was looking for.

“Ah… since I came to Korea, I guess.”

Daesung considered this while I tried to work out how to decrease the cuteness.

“What about America?”

“What do you mean?”

I noticed him leaning forward now.

“Did you not paint in America?”

I paused, trying to work out how to explain the problem with painting.

“Ah… well…” I dropped my brush into a cup, maybe the one with paint thinner, but I think it was the one half full of gwahaju.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, no, it’s just… the words,” I fell back on an old excuse with a chuckle.

I watched Daesung as I wiped my hands off on my old cotton cloth.

Daesung watched my hands, the way infants watch anything that moves.

I reached for my glass, then sighed. Yep, I had definitely dropped my brush in the wrong cup.

Daesung was definitely a master of reading the room. As such, he left me alone when I went to get myself a fresh drink.

Returning to the living room with a new cup, I settled onto the sofa next to him with a groan. I reached for the current bottle, but my hand was pushed aside quickly.

“I’ll pour it.”

The gesture struck me as endearing, even though I knew it was just done out of politeness.

I accepted the now filled cup back from Daesung, and leaned back into the plush cushions.

“My sister is an artist.”

Daesung nodded, but tilted his head as well. He kept quiet, so I continued.

“She’s also very… prideful? She likes to own things, I guess. Possessive. So,” I shrugged, “painting was  **hers**. She owned music,” I started ticking off on my fingers, “and sculpture, and any other kind of art. I got math, and science, and technology instead.”

Daesung frowned.

“She discouraged you?”

I laughed, a little too loudly.

“That’s a kind word for it. Any time I tried anything she would expect perfection the first time. If I wasn’t up to her standard she would spend hours and days ridiculing me. So…” I smiled self-deprecatingly, “I didn’t paint in America.”

I was filled with a buzz of embarrassment when I finished my explanation. I quickly sought to replace it with the buzz of alcohol.

Daesung watched me down my drink. He considered the empty glass for a moment before speaking up.

“But, you’re good. You obviously like it. Why did y-“

I knew what the question was, so I cut him off with the answer.

“It’s amazing what you can do once you’re not constantly being told that you’re shit.”

* * *

 

Considering that the both of us were, essentially, day drunk, we decided to order in for dinner.

A collection of pizzas that would never make it through market testing in America showed up an hour later.

The delivery guy looked at me curiously when I opened the door. He needed Daesung’s signature, since he had insisted on using his phone to order.

Drunk to the point of playfulness I called him over.

“Oppa~! He needs you to sign.”

Daesung approached, a little unsteady, and scrawled across the receipt.

“It is you!”

“Huh?” I tilted my head as I handed the bags from the delivery guy to Daesung.

“You’re the girl from Date Roulette! I knew you looked familiar.” The deliverer shook his head, looking a little excited. “I watched the first episode,” he lowered his voice slightly then, “you were cute.”

“Ayy, Luna you have a fan,” Daesung teased me.

I swatted at his arm before dipping a polite bow to the man still in my doorway.

“Oh, thank you.”

“Would it be okay, you know,” the man looked sheepish now. “Well, my coworker likes you, and my girlfriend is a fan of Daesung… could we take a picture? They’d really be jealous.”

“Ah… well,” I didn’t know what to do. Was it okay? If he posted it online would it be a problem?

“Here, I’ll take it,” Daesung held a hand out to the man. The deliverer quickly handed over his phone.

Daesung positioned me in the middle and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. The man quickly fell into place on my other side, politely avoiding touching me.

The picture taken, we exchanged thanks and shut the door.

“Is it always like that?”

“Hmm?” Daesung was already digging through the bags.

“When you order food. Do the drivers often act like that?”

“Sometimes,” he shrugged. “I think it’s easier to ask you though. You’re not, like, super famous yet.”

* * *

 

The room felt like a restaging of uncountable nights from my early twenties.

I was, without a doubt, wasted. I was wasted, laying on the floor next to the open sliding glass door that led to the little balcony. I had commandeered the playlist and turned it to Steely Dan and Jaco Pastorius.

Daesung was laid out somewhere close by, counting aloud every plane that he spotted through the window. He kept losing count, and eventually settled on just saying “there’s another,” whenever one came into view.

“Where do you think they’re going?” I asked after what could have been the fiftieth.

“Home, I hope.”

I liked that. It was a nice thought, and made me feel a little warm.

“I hope they get there safe,” I mumbled, letting my eyes close.

* * *

 

The buzz of my phone on top of the glass coffee table stirred me from my broken drunk sleep.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Are you and Daesung still out?**

I checked the time. 2:27am, Tuesday. Rubbing my hands over my face, I looked around.

Three feet to my left, Daesung was soundly asleep, arms wrapped around a pillow from the sofa.

> _**To: Lyong Boho  
> ** **No. We’re in my suite. What’s up?** _

Jiyong’s response was so long in coming that I was nearly asleep again when I felt my phone vibrate in my hand.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Nothing.**


	16. Daesung: Tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna and Daesung have a second relaxed day, but cut it short so that they can recover. Mino finds out that Luna has a dog, naturally everybody tags along. Soo-Ah has a date, kind of. Jiyong has feelings, and words, but Luna is shook.

There was sunlight on my face, and quiet snoring to my left. And from the direction of my feet. **  
**

I pushed myself to sitting, rubbing my eyes and blinking away the haze of sleep.

Daesung was sprawled on his back on the floor. The cushion he had been cuddling last night was flung halfway across the room.

Chul was curled onto the sofa. He had set his camera on the glass top of the coffee table, and left it recording.

I wondered how much space was on the camera’s drive.

My eyelids were sticking to my contacts. Time to become a human being.

First stop was the bathroom. Wash off yesterday’s makeup, brush teeth, replace lenses… next stop living room. I gathered up the glasses from last night. There seemed to be too many of them. Had Chul given in and had a drink?

Regardless, I gathered them into the kitchen and starting looking for what I could pull together for breakfast.

“I don’t want to be demanding but I need some water.”

I chuckled and poured Daesung a glass of water.

“There’s coffee brewing too. I think I’m just going to heat up the leftover pizza, but if you want I could make you something for breakfast.”

Daesung was too busy trying to drown his headache to answer right away.

He was on his second cup of water when Chul made his way into the kitchen, camera (as ever) in hand.

“Coffee,” I gestured to the pot that was nearly done brewing, “pizza,” the toaster oven, “water?”

Chul indicated the water, so I filled a glass and handed it over.

“I think I’ll have the pizza for now,” Daesung finally spoke up, “but you can make me breakfast some other time.”

I blanked out for a second, caught up in Daesung’s playful tone and innuendo.

“Sounds good,” I nodded, not sure if he had actually meant it to sound that way.

The pizza was… edible. Barely. It filled us enough to take the edge off the hangover.

“What do you want to do today?” Daesung asked between slices.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m not doing anything without having a proper shower first. Plus I have to clean those paints up.”

“That’s fair. Uh,” Daesung leaned back and twitched his fingers in the air for a moment, “how about we meet up in about two… and a half hours?”

“Perfect,” I hopped down from where I had perched on the countertop.

Daesung stuck around and helped me clean up the suite. It was nice. We even put on some music while we rearranged the living area into its original setting.

“When did we move the sofa?” I groaned, pushing it back into the indentations that it had left in the carpet.

“When I tried to teach you the choreography to Bang Bang Bang,” Daesung called from the kitchen.

“Oh yeah… how was I?”

“Mmm…” Daesung came through the doorway, shaking his head, “you could use some lessons. You could ask Youngbae to teach you next week.”

I leaned against the sofa back and nodded. It was good advice. It was obvious that Taeyang would be difficult to get comfortable with, but maybe asking him for help dancing would help loosen some of the tension.

“It would be good to have something to focus on,” I agreed.

The cleaning was done pretty quickly, which left us to only clean ourselves. We agreed to just text each other when we were ready to go out.

* * *

I left the music on while I showered and took some extra time for being by myself. An entire day had passed with Daesung, but it felt like less somehow. He was easy to be around, and he had a calming charm to him. I was glad. Last week felt like a mess, and spending a week with Daesung seemed like a good way to come back from everything that had happened.

After my shower, I was lazy. I took my time picking out clothes, once again revelling in the softness of the bathrobe.

I decided to check my phone, which brought me back to the texts from Jiyong from the previous night.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Are you and Daesung still out?**
> 
> **_To: Lyong Boho  
> _ ** **_No, we’re in my suite. What’s up?_ **
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Nothing.**

The amount of time he had taken to give such a simple answer seemed like too much time. I could see how he might have been upset. Being alone in my suite at odd hours was sort of his thing, and he was already established as being the jealous type.

I thought back to his comment about if I developed feelings for someone else — that he didn’t need to know. Did he think that something had happened? Chul had been there the whole time. It wasn’t the same thing at all.

> **_To: Lyong Boho  
> _ ** **_Did you need something last night?_ **

I left the chat to check my other ones.

> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **You’re free now, right?**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **You don’t have to spend time with Seungri anymore?**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **We should celebrate .+:｡ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ°+***

I smiled at Mino’s cute messages. I liked that he was concerned without falling into the trap of hypermasculine protectiveness.

> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Right! I’m spending this week with Daesung._ **
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_He seems nice._ **

There was still one more notification waiting for me. It was… unexpected, to say the least.

> **From: Cho Ilsung  
> ** **Can we meet?**

I kept opening and closing the chat from Ilsung. Eventually, I decided to ignore it. If it was something super important, he’d have to tell me what it was upfront. I wasn’t about to start playing twenty questions just to find out what he wanted.

Having answered the messages that I cared about, I finally set about getting dressed. I was down to only needing to pull my shirt on when my phone alerted me to a new message.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **I guess not.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **… I wanted to see you.**
> 
> **_To: Lyong Boho  
> _ ** **_What for? What’s up?_ **
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **I like seeing you. I wanted to talk.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Daesung was there late…**
> 
> **_To: Lyong Boho  
> _ ** **_Just say what you want to say Ji._ **

It took him a while to respond to that, but when he did it came in a rush.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Don’t fall for him.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **He’s a great guy, a good person. I’m not warning you of anything.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **I just don’t want you to fall for anyone else.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **But I shouldn’t say such things until endgame.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **I shouldn’t even be talking like this until the show is done, right?**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **I shouldn’t interfere, but I don’t want to not interfere.**

I was ready to meet Daesung, but I just sat on my bed instead of messaging him. My phone was hanging limply in my hands.

I knew that things were… escalated with Jiyong. But this, especially after him admitting that he thought he really had feelings for me, seemed out of hand. I wasn’t even sure what my own feelings towards Jiyong were. We had had arguments, and he was a little pushy. He clowned around at times, but was so calculating at others. I was never sure what was sincerity and what was done for the ratings with him.

I suppose if it’s off camera it’s probably not for the ratings.

I was shaken out of my thoughts by my phone ringing. The name D-Lite flashing on my screen conjured a memory of Daesung reprogramming his contact info in my phone. He had even included a green heart next to his name, mirroring the one he had next to Sailor Moon in his phone.

I smiled and quickly answered.

“Yes?”

“I’m ready to go. How about you?”

I glanced around the room, getting my bearings back.

“Ah, yeah, I just need shoes I guess.”

“Alright. Let’s meet in the lobby.”

“Ok.”

Forgetting to respond to Jiyong’s messages, I slipped my phone into my pocket, my feet into shoes, and headed downstairs.

* * *

It was hot. The kind of hot that creates steam from seemingly dry streets. The sun was hard at work drawing every ounce of moisture out everything that it touched.

In my opinion, it was perfect. I had snagged a light cotton button up shirt to use as protection from the sun, and the dryness made it exactly as comfortable as I had hoped. The only annoying thing was the brightness.

Of course that only gave me an excuse to hide my bloodshot eyes behind sunglasses.

Daesung’s first suggestion was to stop by a corner store to grab some drinks. He insisted on some hangover cures, and I bought the largest bottle of water I could find.

Taking up one of the plastic tables outside, we settled into a quiet moment. I suspected that quiet moments would be a trademark of my time with Daesung.

“What should we do today?”

I leaned back in the chair to consider the possibilities. While I was glad to be outside in the sun, Daesung seemed to be struggling a little bit.

“Should we find a bookstore?”

Daesung nodded, “okay. There’s one nearby that I like.”

The bookstore was cool and considerably less glaring than outside.

“What are you looking for?” Daesung asked.

I shrugged. It had just been something that seemed like as good an idea as anything else.

“Nothing. But I’m almost done with my last book so…” I left the statement open.

Daesung nodded, looking around the store.

“Let’s start on this side,” he pointed left.

We trawled the shelves, regardless of section. Every now and then one or the other of us would pull out a book whose title caught our eye.

We quietly read the snippets from dust jackets to each other, and shared opinions on whether the books were worth investing in.

At one point Daesung thumbed through a book of poems.

“I’ve heard that this is a popular poet. Here;” he cleared his throat and read aloud —

> “Oh, my lover  
> who had pure eyes;  
> oh, the silver scales  
> that occupied your eyes.  
> Tonight snow falls.  
> Oh, my poor lover  
> who wrapped my neck  
> with a white towel and washed my face,  
> a sacred quiet descends  
> upon the lonely planet.  
> I close my eyes  
> to remember the time  
> your hands washed my face.”

I had always struggled with poetry. Too many poets seemed to just be dressing up their daily occurrences with inconsequential symbolism.

Maybe I just didn’t get it.

“He’s sad and lonely,” I shrugged, “him and everyone else on earth.”

Daesung looked uncomfortable. I thought maybe he was disappointed by my assessment. He frowned and reshelved the book.

* * *

In the next aisle, my phone started ringing. I made note of the picture that came up. A joke I had chosen one night — a picture of a Blue Eyes White Dragon card. Jiyong was calling.

I shuffled off a little bit before answering.

“What’s up?”

“Wher… it doesn’t matter.” Jiyong interrupted his usual greeting, sighing before continuing, “I’m calling because I’m stressed.”

“Ooookay?” I wandered back down an aisle Daesung and I had already searched. “Again, what’s up?”

“You didn’t respond to my texts. I… I kind of said a lot and I was… I am nervous, I guess.”

I grimaced, feeling a little guilty for forgetting to respond to his messages.

“Ah, sorry, Daesung called so we had to get going.”

“You forgot?” Jiyong sounded amazed. “Wow. You’re so…” he groaned, then let out a puff of air, “you’re cute.”

I could tell he had suppressed the urge to tell me off.

“I’m sorry~... I got distracted oppa~...”

He groaned again, but it was less painful sounding than before.

“It’s okay jagi… you’re working hard. How is it?”

“It’s good. Daesung and I get along well. We’re comfortable, you know?”

“Mm, and last night?”

“It was fun. We drank and listened to music,” I stretched my shoulder, feeling the tightness from sleeping on the floor. “I’m a little sore though,” I complained.

There was a sound like something rubbing against the microphone of Jiyong’s phone, followed by a sigh.

“You… what? You what?”

“I’m s-“

“No,” he cut me off, “don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”

I rolled my eyes in vain.

“It’s just from the floor.”

“The floor? You… the floor…” he groaned again, “that doesn’t help, Luna.”

“Grow up Ji. We got drunk and fell asleep on the floor… five feet apart, with Chul there.”

Silence through the phone for a few seconds.

“... that makes sense.”

I glanced around quickly before speaking up, adding a flirtatious lilt to my voice.

“Oppa~... what were you thinking?”

“Nothing!”

“Were you jea~lous?”

“Don’t tease me jagi,” he sounded serious. “You know I worry about you all the time.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Yes I do,” the seriousness faded from his voice. “Until this is all over,” he sounded tired, like he was carrying a heavy burden, “I’m going to worry.”

“Yeah, well,” I dropped the cuteness from my tone, “I’m not going to hold myself back on your account if something develops.”

“I don’t expect you to.”

With that, he ended the call.

I looked at the phone, unsure of what had just happened. Was that an argument? For a second I let myself imagine being in a relationship with Jiyong. Would this be the sort of thing that would come up often?

I shook my head and dropped my phone back into the pocket of my shorts.

* * *

I returned to where Daesung was standing in the next aisle. He had a book open in his hands, and his hair in his eyes.

He was handsome.

Hearing my footsteps, he looked up and gave me a smile.

“What was that?”

I shrugged, “just Jiyong. What are you reading?”

“It’s not very good,” Daesung snapped the book shut and reshelved it. He looked a little mischievous somehow.

“I couldn’t help but overhear.” He cocked an eyebrow, “you didn’t really go that far.”

“Ah,” I brushed my hand through my hair, feeling my cheeks heat up a little, “that was… he tho-“

“He’s jealous that I slept in your suite, right?”

I turned to pretend to skim over more book titles, lifting a hand to brush over the dust jackets.

“I guess. He was worried.”

Daesung gently took my wrist in his hand, his body brushing mine around so he could look down into my face. Whatever hue my face had been before, it felt at least three shades darker now.

“Is he worried that you have feelings for me?”

I couldn’t think of anything to say. Daesung filled the silence, leaning in a little closer.

“Do you like me?” He said it just barely above a whisper.

“I…” I blinked. To say that this change in attitude was unexpected would be an understatement. This was not the bright boy I had spent the morning with.

Daesung suddenly laughed, stepping back and leaning forward.

“I… What?” I watched him get a hold of himself.

“You should have seen your face. Oh boy,” Daesung wiped at his eye, “I wonder how that will get edited together.”

I laughed, nervously, still unsteady from the intensity of the moment.

It was a joke. Right. A joke. Of course. Daesung wasn’t the type to suddenly just… do whatever that has been.

Daesung seemed to be enjoying my slow recovery from being flustered. He kept poking fun about how red I had turned, even after we had left the bookstore.

“Stop~~” I whined, “you would be the same.”

Daesung ruffled my hair and cooed at me.

“Aigoo~... I didn’t realise you were so easy to rile up.” Daesung laughed and stuck his hands in his pockets. “No wonder Seunghyun likes having you around.”

I made a face, but didn’t say anything. It just didn’t seem like an argument worth having.

* * *

We walked, vaguely heading back towards the hotel. We took our time, basically recreating the lazy stroll from the day before.

“I really am curious,” Daesung started, after about three blocks of silence, “about what Jiyong said.”

I hummed, not committing to answering questions.

“How badly does he want to win?”

“I don’t know,” I hunched my shoulders, watching my feet move over the sidewalk. “Sometimes he acts like he already has. But,” I lifted my head, face up to the sky, “I don’t know if he’s sincere or just competitive.”

Daesung hummed this time.

“Is it weird to talk about him?” I asked.

“Not really,” Daesung shrugged, “but I don’t know what to tell you. He hasn’t really talked about his feelings in the group chat or anything.”

I nodded. That made sense, he was fantastically reserved at times.

“Wait,” I jumped in front of Daesung to stop him, “you guys talk about me in a group chat?!”

He grinned, that mischievous look in the curl of his lips again.

“It’s just our regular chat. But yeah,” he brushed past me, “you come up sometimes.”

I stood still, squinting after him for a minute before jogging to catch up.

“Wait! What do you guys say?”

Daesung just smiled and shrugged.

“You know, just stuff.”

I decided to try a tactic that worked on some others.

“Dae~~!” I pouted, “you can’t just say that and not tell me.”

“Ah,” he playfully wagged a finger at me, “I’m older than you. I’m sure you can do better than that.”

My pout was real as I glanced at the camera and sighed. I rolled my eyes a little overly dramatic for the camera before I tried again.

“Oppaa~” I wiggled my shoulders, “please tell me.”

“Ahhhh,” Daesung made grabby hands at my face, not actually touching me, “you do know how to be cute?”

“Dae-yah!” I decided to try to shake him loose by quickly switching gears, “just tell me.”

He laughed and offered me his hand. Hoping that it would help, I took it in mine.

“Fine, fine,” we walked side by side as he spoke now, “hmmm… for the last week it’s mostly just been Seungri asking what we knew about courting western women.”

I couldn’t help but let out a snort of a laugh.

“T.O.P-hyung mentioned something that didn’t make sense, and refused to explain. Youngbae isn’t really sure why you were chosen. And Jiyong, well…”

He let the sentence hang there. I was sure he was taunting me on purpose.

Fine, I was done playing this game.

“You don’t need to tell me about Jiyong. That guy is…” I waved my free hand vaguely and shook my head.

“So you know?” Daesung raised his eyebrow.

“I have an idea,” I gestured towards the camera, “but let’s not spoil it.”

I had no idea what Daesung had meant, but pretending worked in my favour. After Daesung and I had returned to the hotel, and decided not to overdose on each other’s company like the previous night, I got a text from Jiyong.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Who told you?!**
> 
> **_To: Lyong Boho  
> _ ** **_¯\\_(ツ)_/¯_ **
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Was it Seungri?**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **That camera guy? Chul?**
> 
> **_To: Lyong Boho  
> _ ** **_I can’t believe you would think Chul would betray someone’s trust like that._ **
> 
> **_To: Lyong Boho  
> _ ** **_Chul is an angel._ **
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Then who was it?**
> 
> **_To: Lyong Boho  
> _ ** **_Nobody. Or you. I can just tell._ **
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **So you don’t know anything.**
> 
> **_To: Lyong Boho  
> _ ** **_Rude._ **

* * *

I decided to use my freedom to see if Soo-Ah was available. As it turned out, she wasn’t. On a brief phone call she explained that she was currently at a salon, getting ready for a date. I wished her well and hung, feeling more than a little lonely.

I tried to think of who else I might be able to get dinner with, but the fact was that I had previously led a small life. One close friend, my dog, and a few people at arm’s length. The few numbers that I had gotten from being part of this show had doubled the length of my non-professional contact list.

I was usually comfortable with my little life. I had expected to feel reenergised by the chance to exist without social demands for a minute. However, now, after the action packed style of the last two weeks, and for the first time in a long time, I felt lonely.

* * *

 

Laying on my bed, despite the sun still being up, I started scrolling through Instagram. It was strange to think that I could actually make contact with a few of the artists I followed now.

Urged on by that thought, and the sinking sensation that loneliness had started to etch into my chest, I switched to my texts.

> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_I just realised, again, how weird it is that I have your number._ **
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_And Big Bang!_ **
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_And Zico!_ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **The only weird one is Zico.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **When did you even exchange numbers?**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_We didn’t. He found mine somehow. Online or something._ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **Like I said...**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **Weird.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **How are things going with Daesung?**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Really well! He’s so fun and sweet!_ **
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_I really like spending time alone with him. He’s great._ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **Forget I asked (￢_￢;)**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Why? Would it be better if things were bad?_ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **No… it’s just that women always like him.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **Even his exes still like him.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **Once you fall for him you never come back.**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Who said I fell for him? I just like hanging out with him._ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **(ノωヽ)**

I switched back to Instagram, not seeing much point in continuing this line of conversation. A few minutes later, a particular picture made me go back to my texts.

> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Okay... I have a question._ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **Okay... I have an answer.**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Can I fire your stylist?_ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **Why?!**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Houndstooth._ **
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Why Houndstooth?_ **
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_It’s the worst of all patterns._ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **What are you talking about?**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Your Instagram. Burberry or whatever._ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **You follow me on Instagram?**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Literally millions of people follow you. Yes, I’m in there somewhere._ **

A notification pinged up on my screen. I snorted and swiped it away.

> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_How did you find mine that fast?_ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **Phone number.**
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **YOU HAVE A DOG?!?!?!?!**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Yes_ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **Can I meet your dog?**

* * *

I laid my face in my palm when the car pulled up. These boys really had no sense of subtlety.

Mino quickly got out of the passenger side door and gestured me over. I laughed, watching his eyes squinting out the glare of the sunset above a black face mask.

“What’s the point of wearing the mask when everyone knows the car?”

“I told him that it was stupid,” Zico’s voice came through the open door behind Mino. “Hey minyeo.”

“You guys…” Mino groaned.

I bent down and waved at Zico.

“How did he even convince you to drive?”

“He said I could meet a dog.”

I couldn’t argue with that logic. I had done much dumber things than go for a drive to get close to animals.

I crawled into the back seat, and gave Zico my address to put into his gps as Mino got back into the car.

“Everyone settled? Okay? Good,” Zico was clearly a man on a mission, “let’s go.”

* * *

 

Zico got lost, twice, despite the gps telling him exactly where and when to turn.

Finally, after the sun was down, we arrived at my apartment complex.

“This place is kind of…” Mino looked confusedly up at the building.

“Are you secretly rich or something?” Zico asked, substantially more straight forward than Mino’s still hanging sentence.

“Not really,” I shrugged, digging into my backpack for my keys, “I’m just well invested and live cheaply.”

Mino shook his head, “I know an actor that lives around here. These apartments are not cheap.”

I led them inside and upstairs.

“I drew a comic book series,” I explained leading the way down the hall towards my front door, “I don’t know how well it actually did, but the writer pays me a yearly royalty. I take most of it and invest it in developing businesses. The returns are usually pretty good. Ah, I can hear him!”

We had reached my front door. The second my key hit the lock, I heard the excited clicking of nails on the wood floor inside.

I tapped my nails on the door. 123… pause… 123. Instantly the clicking get more energetic, followed by a low “borf!”

I also heard Soo-Ah’s voice.

“What are you all excited about?”

I quickly unlocked the door and tumbled into the apartment.

“Luna!”

“Ttungbo!” I flung myself onto the ground to wrap my arms around the Boxer Terrier.

“Really? I guess that mmmmmmmMino! And… Luna what’s going on?! Why are you bringing two males to your apartment?!”

I looked up at Soo-Ah, noting the way she was hurriedly grabbing the blanket from the sofa to wrap around her uncovered legs.

I looked over at Mino and Zico. Mino was politely staring at my coatrack. Zico was on the floor next to me, all of his attention on my dog.

“I thought you were out.”

“I… it didn’t go well,” she shimmied her blanket wrapped self down the hall. “I’ll be right back!”

She slammed the door to the guest room shut.

Mino turned to me.

“You didn’t tell her we were coming?”

“She was supposed to be on a date.”

“I love your dog.”

I looked at Zico, who seemed to have been entirely oblivious to the fact that we had walked in on a half naked woman watching dramas.

“Right,” I stood up, “do either of you want anything?”

Ttungbo quickly sat directly between Zico’s legs and flopped his head on his chest.

“I’m good,” Zico said quietly, smiling at my dog.

“Okay,” I nodded and turned to Mino, “how about you? Hungry or anything?”

I started towards the kitchen, not waiting to hear Mino’s reply.

“I don’t know what’s here since I’ve been gone but there should be something around.”

I started by opening the fridge. There was a half empty take-away container of noodles, a bag of sad looking carrots, and two cans of Cass. I made a note to talk to Soo-Ah about taking care of herself better.

I felt the air stir behind me as Mino bent behind me to peek inside the fridge as well.

“Maybe the cupboard…” I mumbled, closing it in embarrassment.

“I’ll order something, what do you and Soo-Ah like?”

“Uh…” I didn’t know how Soo-Ah would feel about eating with them. She usually had no problem eating in front of people (in fact, it was one of the rare times she was guaranteed to eat at all), but I felt like I should check with her anyway.

“I’ll go ask her what she wants.”

As I walked down the hall to the guest room, I spotted Zico now laying on the floor playing tug-of-war with Ttungbo’s favourite toy, Corn Man.

* * *

 

I knocked on the door.

“Unnie?”

“I’ll be out in a minute.”

I rolled my eyes and opened the door.

Soo-Ah was leaning over the dresser, patting a cushion over her face. She was now clothed in her usual trendy style.

I plopped down on the bed and watched her.

“How you doing?”

“You could have told me you were hanging out with them.”

“Sorry. I didn’t know I was going to be, and you had your date so I figured it be okay. Besides,” I smirked, “it is my apartment.”

“Okay fine,” she sighed, putting down the cushion and picking up her eyebrow pencil, “but still. A little warning next time.”

“Yes. I figured if we were still here when you got back you’d be all made up in date looks anyway. Hot and maybe a little messy.”

She threw the cap of her pencil at me, but smiled.

“I did look good… if you guys had just been twenty minutes earlier…” she shook her head.

I watched her. She didn’t seem too stressed out, just nagging instead of actually scolding.

“I checked the fridge,” she frowned at my words. I quickly continued, “Mino suggested ordering some food. Do you want anything?”

“Food food, or something like banchan?”

I shrugged, it didn’t really matter to me. But I also smiled, knowing what she was thinking.

“Ojingeochae bokkeum and gaji?”

She nodded, smiling shyly.

I stood and headed back out of the room.

“I’ll tell him. And,” I paused at the door, “don’t do your eyeliner. You look best with your natural eye.”

* * *

 

“Should we stream? This is enough food for a mukbang,” I mumbled as I looked over the bags on my counter.

“I think Soo-Ah is the only one of us that wouldn’t get in trouble,” Mino pointed out.

“What about Zico? Isn’t he basically his own boss?”

“Netizens are a thing. I can’t just be out here eating with women,” Zico’s voice floated up from the floor, where he was now laying on his back. Ttungbo was laid across his chest, chewing on Corn Man as if he wasn’t pinning a six foot tall man to the floor.

I started unpacking the bags of food and sorting through the dishes. We had ended up ordering from five different places, somehow.

Mino popped open a container of kimchi and delicately fished out a larger piece of radish to pop into his mouth. I quickly tried to ignore the elegant lines of his hands as he sucked his thumb clean... and the soft dip of his shoulders as he leaned against the island in my kitchen. I definitely ignored the smudge of red left on his lip that he was obviously oblivious to.

“Ah…” I turned to the lower cabinet where I kept Ttungbo’s food, hiding the blush that threatened to cover my face.

Ttungbo’s ears pricked up when I grabbed the bag of food and he quickly scrambled up from his makeshift bed, managing to step squarely on Zico’s chest as he rushed over to his food bowl.

“Ah, my gordito, you know I can’t fill the bowl when you stand over it like that.”

“Bobby and Hoon want to come over.”

I finished filling up Ttungbo’s bowl and stood up, tilting my head at Mino.

“Hoon… Seunghoon?”

“Yeah,” he smiled shyly, only accenting the red that still marked his lips. Semi-consciously, I licked my own lip as if it would make the mark disappear.

“You don’t have to be so excited about it,” Mino started to pout. “They’re just bored and heard there was food, a dog, and soon to be alcohol here.”

I scrunched my face, shaking my head.

“I’m not excited.”

“Then what was that lip thing after you said Seunghoon’s name?”

Even though I knew exactly what he was talking about, I feigned ignorance.

“What are you talking about?”

I was half aware that Zico had pulled himself up off the floor and slid into one of the bar stools next to the kitchen island.

“You did this thing like,” Mino faked a slightly higher voice to mimic me,“Seunghoon?” He then slowly ran his tongue over his lower lip, exaggerating the lasciviousness.

I couldn’t help but smirk. He had finally cleared away the stain.

Zico chuckled, drawing Mino’s annoyed gaze.

“What?”

“You two are cute when you flirt like this,” Zico shrugged. “So Bobby and Hoon are coming over?”

“Not if she’s going to be like this,” Mino grumbled, dipping his fingers back into the kimchi.

It was worse than the first time. He was pouting now, creating a downward turn in his lips for the juice to flow along.

“I should text Soo-Ah and see what she thinks,” I hurried out of the kitchen to where I had left my backpack.

I heard Zico laughing again and the sound of Mino muttering quietly. He was too quiet for me to hear, but I caught Zico’s response.

“It’s like you don’t even have eyes man.”

I pressed my hands against my cheeks. Had Zico noticed me looking at Mino like that? Why had I been looking at him like that anyway? I took a deep breath and unlocked my phone.

> **_To: Sooooo AH!  
> _ ** **_Bobby wants to join us._ **
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH!  
> ** **I know.**
> 
> **_To: Sooooo AH!  
> _ ** **_And Seunghoon._ **
> 
> **_To: Sooooo AH!  
> _ ** **_Wait how do you know?_ **
> 
> **From: Sooooo AH!  
> ** **He texted me to ask if I was with you and the dog.**

I blinked at my phone. I had no idea how to process that information.

> **From: Sooooo AH!  
> ** **I told him I was fine with him coming and to ask you guys.**

At the same time that I received her message, I heard Mino call out from the kitchen.

“Bobby says he already asked Soo-Ah!”

I traipsed back into the kitchen, shaking my head.

“Yeah, she mentioned as much.” I gestured towards Zico, who was now snoring slightly, slouched over onto the island. “What’s with him?”

“I think this is the first time he’s left his studio since,” Mino looked uncomfortable, “since you know… that night. My show.”

“Really? That was nearly a week ago.”

“Yeah, that’s why I made him take a shower at my place before we picked you up.”

I looked over the sleeping man. The sight of him, so exhausted that he was asleep on my countertop, triggered my caretaker instincts.

“Is he wearing your clothes?”

“How can you tell?”

“He’s skinnier than you. Come on,” I approached the unconscious rapper, “help me move him to the sofa.”

* * *

 

Since Zico was in one of his skinnier states, it turned out that the most help I needed from Mino was just making sure that he didn’t slip out of the chair when I pulled him onto my back.

Mino tried to protest, offering to carry his friend. I just shook my head at him.

“Go get the blanket from the guest room. It’s the blue door.”

In my attempt to not just drop Zico onto my sofa, I sat first and then laid down with the plan to slip out from between his arms that were over my shoulders.

“Jussa minute…” I heard him mumble nearly directly into my ear. The sleepy words were followed by his arms tightening around my body and his leg being thrown over my waist.

This must be what teddy bears feel like.

I tried to slowly pry my way out of his grip, but his reaction was just to cling more tightly. For such a skinny guy, he was actually pretty strong.

Mino entered and stopped in his tracks, holding the blanket.

“Really?”

I wanted to shrug, but the python-like grip on my arms stopped me. So I just waved my hands and grimaced.

Mino rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“This is why I offered. You gotta just force your way out. If he’s like this he won’t even wake up.”

I tried wriggling out again, but again Zico’s grip just constricted.

“A little help would be great you know,” I sassed up at Mino.

Mino smirked and moved forward.

“You gotta be quick, don’t give him time to get tight. Like this…”

Mino quickly wedged his knee between Zico’s and mine. Zico groaned in his sleep but relaxed slightly, his body simply accepting the addition to the mix of limbs.

“Okay but my arms aren’t exactly in a strong position.”

“Yeah, yeah, you gotta just…” with a grunt, Mino grabbed Zico’s hands and pulled them up, breaking through the hold they had woven around my arms and stomach. “There. Now you ca-”

Mino’s words cut themselves off, and it was obvious why.

What had started as a purely utilitarian manoeuver left me effectively pinned between the two men. Of course, all that needed to happen was for Mino to pull back so that I could get away, but he was too busy blushing and staring at me.

“Mino…”

His eyes seemed to be studying the way my mouth had formed the word.

“Hmm?”

“We should-”

“Kiss.”

“What?”

“I’m going to kiss you, unless you tell me not to.”

Of all the times for my lips to feel dry.

I licked them quickly before speaking.

“That… I…”

Quickly, Mino dipped down and just barely pressed his lips against mine.

Luckily, unfortunately, Ttungbo started prancing excitedly in front of the door.

* * *

 

By the time Soo-Ah entered the apartment, I was back in the kitchen, getting cups ready for the drinks she had gone out to get. I wasn’t completely certain where Mino was. I had the feeling he was hiding in the bathroom.

“So I had to go back and I picked up some more food since we have extra people coming,” Soo-Ah explained as she placed an improbable number of bags on the kitchen counters. She glanced into the living room.

“He’s really cuddling that blanket. Where’s Mino?”

“Bathroom, I think.”

Soo-Ah started putting cans and bottles into the fridge.

I stood by, chewing on the rim of a plastic cup.

“Why are you being weird?”

I looked at her over the rim of the cup, now held only in my teeth.

“I-aungh-eein-bweer.”

She shot me a serious look, but turned to open up the now cold food.

“Yeah you are. We should microwave this.”

I took the cup out of my mouth and left it on the counter.

“I’ll tell you later. Aft-“

The doorbell buzzed.

I heard someone moving in the hallway, then Mino’s voice.

“I thought it was just going to be you and Bobby.”

I poked my head out to see the rest of Winner in my entry. For a second, I felt disconnected from my body.

“Should I order more food?”

“No! We brought some, unlike this rude kid,” Jinwoo exclaimed, holding up grocery bags.

“Where’s Bobby?” I asked.

“Why are you all here?” Mino demanded.

“Who’s here?” Soo-Ah called over my shoulder.

“It’s,” I paused, feeling silly saying it, “Winner.”

“What? All of them?” Soo-Ah pushed past me to peer at the men now carefully removing their shoes and jackets.

“Bobby will be here soon,” Seungyoon explained, handing me a bag full of pre-sliced fruit. He leaned in and gave me a quick hug.

Unsure how to react I just kind of nodded into it.

“Where’s the kitchen?” Jinwoo’s clear voice cut through the quiet argument Mino and Seungyoon were having.

“It’s here,” I jerked my head to indicate the door that Soo-Ah was still standing in.

I felt a hand clasp my shoulder.

“Why is it so loud in here?”

Zico stood next to me, cheeks slightly puffy, rubbing his arm over his eyes.

“The kids are here.”

“Kids? We’re the same age, aren’t we?” Jinwoo protested, wide eyed.

“Are we?” I flattened myself against the wall to let Seungyoon and Zico greet each other.

“1991,” Jinwoo said brightly.

“Ah, I’m 1990. Here,” I slipped into the kitchen, “no crowd.”

“I see,” Jinwoo followed me, “I thought you were younger than everyone in Big Bang.”

Jinwoo quickly situated himself over my stove. He kept apologising for having tagged along, and insisted on cooking to make up for it. He would scold Soo-Ah and I, and elbow Mino away, whenever we offered help.

Seungyoon and Zico stayed in the living room, talking over the boxing match I had put on from my TiVo.

Bobby joined us, accompanied by coffees and cake.

“Yahhhhh noona! Why do you have so many men in your house?!”

“Says the man coming into my house,” I shot back.

“That’s different,” Bobby whined, “you’re my new sister, I’m your annoying little brother.”

I thought about it, then nodded.

“That seems accurate. As for these guys,” I shrugged, “I think they were just bored.”

“Exactly,” Seunghoon chimed in from his position on one of my bar stools.

Ttungbo was sitting at Hoon’s feet, excitedly waiting for him to “accidentally” drop some food.

I could hear Soo-Ah in the living room, explaining that she had dated one of the boxers to Mino.

“- all his time training, but never the muscles that count, you know?”

“I’ll be right back,” I left Bobby to find his own place in the apartment.

The table in front of Soo-Ah was littered with empty cans. She swayed slightly in her seat, gripping Mino’s forearm tightly.

Mino looked like he had just been politely nodding along to whatever Soo-Ah said.

“Alright unnie,” I grabbed her hands and hoisted her up to her feet, “no more penis stories. Time for water.”

“Penis stories?”

I looked over at a surprised Bobby.

“She’s drunk,” I explained.

“I’m not drunk,” Soo-Ah protested, “I’m wasted.”

Soo-Ah broke into a fit of giggles then, throwing herself into my shoulder.

“My mistake. Bobby, go get me some water for her.”

I slowly directed Soo-Ah into the kitchen, and into one of the proper chairs.

* * *

 

“How many tattoos do you have?”

“No! No!” Mino loudly interjected, “we are not doing this!”

I looked up at him, brows cinched.

“It’s just a question.”

“I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about them,” he pointed at Seungyoon and Zico.

Seungyoon made an offended face, spreading his arms wide. Zico just laughed.

“Why?”

“Well first he,” Mino pointed at Zico, “will take his shirt off to show off. Then he,” an energetic gesture towards Seungyoon, “will start asking about yours. At which point one of them,” he pointed back and forth between the two of them, “will suggest you take something off to show us your tattoos.”

Seunghoon was still pretending to be offended, but Zico just shrugged.

“I don’t mind if everyone takes their shirts off,” Soo-Ah mumbled from where she was lying on my lap. “Here,” she started to sit up, “I’ll start.”

“No! Nope, no no no…” I quickly grabbed her and pulled her head back to my lap, “you don’t even have tattoos unnie.”

“This kind of thing is exactly what I was trying to avoid,” Mino complained.

“Why though?” Bobby piped up. “I swear hyung, you’re so weird sometimes.”

Soo-Ah, who had been muttering about how she could have a tattoo if she wanted to, sat back up again.

“We should go get tattoos right now!”

“No sweetie,” I once again pulled her to lying down, “you can’t get one when you’re drunk. Besides, you nearly passed out when you came with me last time.”

“That was from shock. I didn’t think you had your nip-mmmph!”

I clasped my hand over her mouth, muffling her words.

“She didn’t think you had your… what?” Zico prodded.

I shot him the White People Smile™️ and kept quiet. Soo-Ah tore my hand off her mouth.

“Nipples! She ha-ugh!”

I clamped my other hand over her mouth.

“Oh man that Pacquiao is he a sportsman or what?!”

Bobby looked mortified, but quickly picked up my cue.

“Yeah dude, he definitely punches hard!”

“I heard he went into politics!” I continued, struggling to keep Soo-Ah’s mouth covered.

“I don’t know about that but I don’t want to stop talking to cover what she said!” Bobby replied

“Shit man,” I let go of Soo-Ah, “you bit me!”

“You were suffocating me!”

“I could feel your pulse,” I shrugged, “you were fine.”

* * *

 

Jinwoo was doing the dishes, and Seunghoon was now sitting on the floor with Ttungbo.

“Sounds rowdy in there,” Jinwoo commented when I entered the room.

“That is definitely… accurate.”

“Yeah who has their nipples what?” Hoon asked.

“It’s,” I shook my head, “nothing. It’s nothing.”

“I bet it’s Zico,” Jinwoo said, “he seems like he’d get them pierced.”

I helped Jinwoo put everything away, despite his protests.

“We just barged into your house, it’s really the least I can do.”

I smiled graciously, hearing my phone go off in the hallway.

“You’re precious Jinwoo.”

Jinwoo pulled a quick flower pose while I stepped out of the kitchen to get my phone.

“Stop flirting so much,” Mino scolded his hyung, bringing dirty dishes into the kitchen.

“Stop giving me more work to do,” Jinwoo quipped.

“I’ll help hyung, I’ll help.”

I smiled at their bickering, then remembered that I needed to check my phone.

> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Are you still with Daesung right now?**

I paused over the message. Jiyong seemed to be able to tell when I was being evasive, even over text. Half of the truth might be my best bet.

> **_To: Lyong Boho  
> _ ** **_No. I stopped by my apartment to see Soo-Ah and Ttungbo._ **
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **Ttungbo??**
> 
> **_To: Lyong Boho  
> _ ** **_My dog._ **
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **I didn’t know you have a dog.**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **When are you coming back?**
> 
> **From: Lyong Boho  
> ** **I wanted to see you.**

“Luna?”

I looked up at Mino, leaning out of the kitchen door. My brain brought up the image of him bending down to kiss me. I blinked, trying to chase the memory away.

“Yeah?”

“Where are your trash bags?”

Ah, so that was all he wanted. The slight panic from being somewhat alone with him subsided. I looked back down at my phone.

“They should be in the cabinet under the sink.”

“Who’s messaging you?”

I could tell he was getting closer now, but I didn’t look at him.

“Jiyong.”

“Ah, uh…” he was standing right in front of me now. He lifted a hand to touch my wrist.

“About… before, you know…”

“Don’t worry about it,” I turned, breaking the contact between us, “it’s forgotten. And I won’t tell anyone.”

“Noona, we s-”

“Mino! Did you find the bags yet?”

“Go help Jinwoo.”

Mino hesitated, looking over my face for an extra second before turning back to the kitchen.

“They’re under the sink hyung.”

> **_To: Lyong Boho  
> _ ** **_I’ll be heading back soon._ **
> 
> **_To: Lyong Boho  
> _ ** **_I’ll text you when I get back._ **
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

It was a good thing that Jiyong had texted when he did. It was getting late, and I had to herd these bored celebrities out of my apartment.

When I went back to the living room I saw that Bobby had taken my spot as Soo-Ah’s pillow. He was staring into his phone, scrolling through something or other, but his free hand was gently stroking the now sleeping Soo-Ah’s hair.

“That’s adorable, but I gotta start kicking you all out.”

Seungyoon sighed, but stood up.

“That’s fair. You want help cleaning up?”

“Yes! She does!” Jinwoo’s voice came across the hall and into the room.

“Ears of a dog that one,” Zico grumbled as he pulled himself off the sofa. “I like this blanket. Where’d you get it?”

“I made it,” I shrugged, “two months of knitting.”

* * *

 

With everyone’s help, the apartment was back to a livable standard fairly quickly. The only person who seemed actually annoyed about being asked to leave was Bobby.

“Are you sure she’ll be okay on her own?”

I had my arms wide, herding the protesting rapper towards the exit.

“She’s fine, she just needs to sleep. Trust me, I know how Soo-Ah works.”

“But what if sh-”

“I said she’s fine,” I nudged him out the door, “I’ll tell her to text you in the morning if you’re that worried, now go.”

I shut the door behind him and rested my back against it. The apartment was eerily quiet after the bubbling noise of having so many people over. I closed my eyes and basked in the silence.

Three loud thumps sounded on my door, jolting me and sending my heartrate skyrocketing. I spun and swung the door open, irritated.

“Bobby, I told… you…” I trailed off.

Mino stood in my doorway. Again the memory of him kissing me pushed the rest of my thoughts away. Behind him, Zico was leaning against the wall opposite my door.

“Don’t you want a ride?” Zico asked.

I bit my tongue. Literally. I dug my teeth into my tongue to suppress voicing the joke that accompanied the image that his words brought to mind -- an evolution of the previous memory.

* * *

 

> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **We have to talk about what happened.**
> 
> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Not really. I already said I wouldn’t tell anyone._ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **You said it was forgotten.**

“Are you guys seriously texting each other inside the same car?” Zico demanded, obviously having pieced together the timing of our typing and the sounds on our phones.

“Hyung…”

“Shouldn’t you be paying attention to the road? What if we miss our turn again?”

> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Exactly. No worries._ **
> 
> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **No. I don’t want to forget.**

I looked up and caught Mino’s eye in the mirror on his sun visor. He stared at me intently, waiting for my reply. He looked tired, but also expectant.

Hoping that the darkness outside hid my blush, I turned my attention back to my phone.

> **_To: Hugeboy  
> _ ** **_Don’t be ridiculous._ **

I saw his ear move as he clenched and released his jaw.

“Stop grinding your teeth dude,” Zico muttered.

> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **So that’s it? I’m supposed to just forget?**

Annoyed by his refusal to see the bigger picture, I resorted to speaking aloud.

“It should never have happened.”

I saw Mino’s eyes widen, then cast down at his phone. A second later my phone chimed.

> **From: Hugeboy  
> ** **Did you not want me to?**

I read the message over a few times. Lying would only cause problems.

“I didn’t say that…”

Mino turned in his seat to look at directly.

“Then why are we pretending?”

“Is this about you two kissing?” Zico interrupted, “you have to pretend because she’s under contract. You know how it is Mino,”

“You knew that we kissed?” I stared at Zico in shock. Had he been more awake than we thought?

“No,” he flashed a smile at me through his rear view mirror, “I just knew something happened since you two were acting weird all night.”

“No we weren’t!” Mino protested. “You just took a shot in the dark!”

“Yeah we were,” I corrected him. “We could barely make eye contact, and you flipped out about the tattoo thing.”

“Actually, he would have been like that about the tattoos anyway. I think he gets jealous because women always want to see mine.”

“I just don’t like that you always turn it into an excuse to see more skin.”

“It’s a fair trade,” Zico shrugged, “besides, I wasn’t going to. I know how much you like Luna.”

“Oh my god hyung, please stop.”

“I’m right here still,” I rolled my eyes, “anyway Zico is right. We should pretend nothing happened.”

“But it did.”

“So? What? You want to be the one to tell Jiyong about it?”

“Jiyong huh? Figures,” Zico sounded contemptuous. “He would be the one, wouldn’t he?”

I didn’t feel like getting into that particular jar of pickles, so I just rolled my eyes.

“Whatever that means.”

Zico just scoffed. Mino, on the other hand, slouched down in his seat and leaned his head on the window.

The rest of the drive passed in a thick silence.

It was obvious what Mino was pissed about, and I couldn’t help but feel guilty. I shouldn’t have let anything happen in the first place. Obviously, I should have just said “don’t” when he offered me the option. But I was weak, and what fan hadn’t at least had a passing thought of kissing such an alluring man?

Zico, on the other hand… I had no idea what the issue between him and Jiyong was, but neither of them hid their disdain for the other. I wondered about it for a moment, but decided that it was probably a waste of energy. Professional, personal, a first meeting gone awkward… did it really matter? Dramatic boys… who had time for that?

As for myself, I was annoyed with Jiyong. He only seemed interested in seeing me late at night. The implications were clear, despite the fact that he had impeccable manners. It was like he was following a recipe for intimacy or something. Did being tired make people more open to bonding? It had to. Being wary took energy, and most people were probably out of it after 11pm.

* * *

 

Zico pulled through the garage to drop me off. It was an unexpected move, but made sense. If anyone saw me getting back at this hour with Mino and Zico… well that journalist’s story would practically write itself.

Mino took advantage of the move though. After getting out of the car to let me out, he ducked down to tell Zico it would be a minute. Zico nodded, and pulled into a space not too far away, but far enough to give us some privacy.

“Mino…”

“Just, listen, okay?”

Mino pulled me to stand by a cement pillar, further out of sight of Zico. He only had a few centimetres on me, and he took full advantage of them now, backing me into the pillar.

“Do you really want to forget?”

“Why is this such a problem for you?” I deflected, rolling my shoulders back to look more confident than I felt.

“Noona… just…” Mino flexed his hand in front of his body in annoyance, then leaned in to rest it against the pillar next to me. “Just tell me if you want to forget.”

“It would be better if you forgot.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

I tilted my head, and Mino pressed his tongue against his cheek in annoyance. He grit his teeth and asked again, this time emphasising the pertinent pronouns.

“Do  **you**  want to forget? Are  **you**  going to pretend nothing happened?”

The intensity of the moment trapped my sarcasm before it made it to my mouth.

“No… ah,” I faltered as relief flooded his eyes and he quickly dipped his tongue over his lips. “But… I am going to pretend nothing happened.”

“That’s… okay,” Mino nodded. “That makes sense.”

He took a deep breath before continuing.

“Now, what do you want me to do?”

“What?”

“Should I forget? Should I delete your number? Or,” he leaned in closer, making me pull back until my head hit the cement behind me, then went a few centimetres further, “should I just get you when I can?”

“Get…”

I meant it as a question, I think. Mino, perhaps just being hopeful, appeared to take it as an answer.

His fingers curled into the hair at my neck, his thumb stroking my jaw as he ran his teeth over my bottom lip.

This couldn’t be a worse idea.

* * *

 

“I’m back.”

“Can I come up?”

I didn’t answer immediately, just staring into my bathroom mirror. Did I look like I had been kissed? Is that even a thing that could be ascertained by looking at someone? I lifted my hand to pat at my lip, trying to work out if there were teeth marks or not.

“Jagi?”

“Oh,” I snapped back to the conversation with Jiyong, “uh… I’m just tired. Sorry, what did you say?”

“I asked if I can come up. I miss you.”

Would I be a bad person if I said he could come? Would it give it away if I said that he couldn’t? I cleared my throat to buy time and try to clear the last few hours out of the equation. What would be the most normal response?

“Um… sure, if you want. But I’m not going to be very good company. I’ll probably just fall asleep.”

“That’s fine. I just want to be with you.”

* * *

 

“What are you listening to?”

I wasn’t even surprised that Jiyong had let himself in. Turning onto my side, I observed him from my bed. I had to smile at him.

The pajama pants he had on were covered in pink strawberries, but his shirt was some pre-worn metal band t-shirt.

“Frogs. My mom recorded them for me.”

Jiyong carefully climbed over me, laying down to tuck himself around my back.

“Feeling homesick?”

I nodded, then shook my head.

“Maybe, I don’t know. I think I just miss Ttungbo.”

“Soo-Ah is taking care of him well, right?” Jiyong muttered the words into my neck, nuzzling in close as he drew his arms around me.

For a second I felt like I had been trapped by a sleeping Zico again. The feeling of Jiyong’s hardness against my backside chased that thought away.

Neither of us immediately addressed it, and he didn’t bother acting embarrassed. Rather, the both of us just laid in silence — I wondering if it was too late (and if I even wanted) to start discouraging Mino; Jiyong gently exploring my shoulder with his lips.

“Ji?”

“Mmm?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t come up here like this.”

Jiyong unwrapped himself from my body and pulled me onto my back. He leaned over me, keeping concerned eye contact.

“Why not? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “it feels like you’re trying to skip the dating parts and go straight for the comfortable intimacy of a two year relationship.”

His brow creased as he digested my words.

“I’m too comfortable?”

“Yeah. It feels like we’ve been together for ages, not that we met two weeks ago.”

“True,” Jiyong nodded, then rested his cheek on my stomach. We were both silent, left to work out what we were doing with ourselves. After about three minutes, Jiyong spoke up again.

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

I knew what he was getting at, but I didn’t buy it. At least not right then. Whatever feelings I had been developing for, and with, Jiyong were decidedly shaken up. I had been pretty confident, somewhere in the back of my mind, that I would end this show with Jiyong. Was that naive of me? If I was willing to let Mino interlope that way, maybe I was wrong.

Or maybe I was wrong to think that anything that happened in, or around, the show actually meant anything.

“Luna?” Jiyong lifted his head, calling me out of my thoughts.

I blinked, my eyes dry from staring at the ceiling while riding the doubt cycle.

“Hmm?”

“You’re worrying again.”

I scrunched the pillow under my head up so that I could look down at Jiyong.

“How do you know?”

Jiyong smiled slightly, reaching up and pressing a finger against my forehead, just slightly above my eyes.

“You get a little puff right here when you’re overthinking.”

I laughed. My aunt used to call it my “worry pouch” when I was little. I had forgotten about it until Jiyong pointed it out.

Jiyong smiled, wrapping his arms back around me, rubbing his cheek against my stomach.

“I know that everything seems a little fake,” he paused to grip my shirt in his teeth, inefficiently lifting it so he could kiss my stomach, “but I don’t believe in playing with people’s feelings.”


	17. Daesung: Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's nice outside, so the entire group goes to the beach. Zico might just be a friend. Ilsung reveals why he wanted to talk.

When I woke up, bed clean of any sign of Jiyong’s visit the previous night, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to get out of bed. But here was Chul calling me, making sure I was awake and would be ready to go by 10am.

Apparently, Wednesdays were just designated group days. It was a little annoying to break up the solo weeks, but I could understand the reasoning.

Thankfully, Chul had let slip a clue about what sort of activity was planned, so I was more than comfortable heading down to the van in sweatpants.

Daesung was the only one already at the van. He looked me up and down over a plastic cup of coffee.

“You look like my grandma.”

“Hey,” I pressed my hands under my chin in a cute pose, “stop talking.”

Daesung chuckled and climbed into the back seat.

“Come on, you can fall asleep against me this time.”

I didn’t protest, knowing full well that I was probably going to do exactly that. Better him than Seunghyun again. They’d both tease me, but it wouldn’t feel malicious from Daesung.

While we waited for the rest of the guys, Daesung and I showed each other videos and pictures on our phones.

“Oh, actually, here’s one of my own,” I switched from my phone’s browser to my files.

“Your own video? Isn’t that a little strange?”

I nudged Daesung for his implication, but kept scrolling. I had the perfect video in mind.

“Here, this is Ttungbo.”

Daesung took my phone in his hands and tapped the play button.

I leaned on his shoulder to watch my favourite good boy get confused about volleyball on tv.

Once the video of my dog trying to chase non-existent balls ended, Daesung backed into the folder.

“Do you have more?”

“Probably,” I shrugged, “you can look if you want. That whole album is him.”

Somehow, I trusted Daesung to stay within the Ttungbo folder. Even if he didn’t, I wasn’t the type to keep embarrassing photos or videos on my phone. In fact, my phone was ridiculously organised and clean. He could go through every single file and I’d be cool with it.

The warmth of my sweatpants and the softness of Daesung’s shirt quickly lulled me into a slight doze.

Of course, nothing good can last, right?

“Good morning,” Seunghyun greeted us. “Rough night last night?”

“Just sleepy,” I muttered, turning slightly further into Daesung’s side.

Daesung just chuckled and greeted his hyung.

“Did you get a new phone?” Seunghyun asked, settling into the seat next to me.

“It’s hers,” Daesung answered.

“Really?”

I quickly intercepted Seunghyun’s hand as he reached towards my phone.

Seunghyun laughed.

“He can go through it but I can’t?”

“I trust him,” I grumbled.

I tucked my phone into my pocket. No use in taking risks.

Daesung was the type to stay in my pictures. Seunghyun… he might check out my messages. Obviously, that couldn’t be allowed to happen.

“You trust me?” Daesung nudged me playfully.

“More than him,” I shrugged.

“What have I done to make you not trust me?”

I rolled my head to the side to look at Seunghyun, sarcastic energy building in my throat.

But then I spotted Jiyong approaching with Seungri and Taeyang.

“It’s just a feeling I guess,” I murmured, straightening up.

He actually had a point though. He had pushed a boundary or two, but comparatively he wasn’t a bad guy. If anything he was just a little cold and distant.

I stared, unseeing, at the light fixture on the roof of the van. When I mentally tallied up points for and against trusting the members of Big Bang, Seunghyun ended up in the middle. He wasn’t exactly untrustworthy, he and I just didn’t see eye to eye.

A hand tapped my shoulder, lifting me from my recount.

“You awake?” Jiyong was leaning forward in his seat behind me.

I glanced back and just shrugged, no longer interested in vocal expression. How unfortunate that the man I had become closest to ranked fourth in trustworthiness.

* * *

 

I woke up by the jostling of bodies around me and the shaking of one of my legs. I had indeed fallen asleep against Daesung, and apparently stretched out enough to loop one leg over Seunghyun’s knee. My cheeks heated in embarrassment, but no more than usual. I was slowly becoming comfortable with the situations I ended up in. They were somewhat unavoidable in tight spaces, so why waste energy on fussing over them?

Seunghyun didn’t say anything this time, which seemed strange, but not worth examining. He simply shook me awake and lifted my leg off of his before getting out of the vehicle.

I pulled myself out and stretched, my shirt riding up. Instantly, my spidey-senses activated. Quickly lowering my arms, I blocked what I assumed was going to be a light tickle from Daesung. I cocked my head at him, and tripped over the lip of the curb.

“That’s exactly what I was trying to prevent,” Daesung wheezed between laughter.

I pouted and held my hand up, waggling it until he grabbed it to help me up.

He hauled me to my feet, this time on the sandy side of the curb.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” I brushed my clothes off, “it’s pretty soft and all.”

“You good there?” Jiyong approached.

I felt awkward with him coming near. So many things had been said between us through the last two days, and the more I thought about them the more my brain seemed to get clogged.

I put my hand on Daesung’s shoulder, brushing sand from my lifted knee. In reality I was trying to be sneaky about creating distance between Jiyong and I.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just wasn’t watching where I was going.”

Jiyong looked like he wanted to say something more, but I was saved by a production member calling us all over to a small staging area.

* * *

 

It wasn’t much of a staging area. At least, it didn’t seem structured for challenges or anything. It was just a simple set of chairs around a table and some assorted beach type items next to a truck with more stuff in the back.

Taeyang grabbed a beach ball and started twirling it in the air.

“So what are we doing today?” Seunghyun asked.

“Anything you want,” the producer replied. “It’s a beach relaxation day. However, we’re confiscating your phones.”

We all handed over our phones, with minimal grumbling. I made sure to turn mine completely off before handing it to Chul.

Chul cocked his head at me, so I just gave him a vague, wide-eyed smile. He shook his head and moved on.

“Is it okay to swim here?” Seungri was quick to ask.

The answer, as I had already known thanks to Chul, was yes. The team had packed some swimsuits into a bag and erected a sort of cloth closet for us to change in.

Seungri, Taeyang, and Daesung set about changing right away.

Seungri and Taeyang helped each other get evenly coated with sunscreen, but Daesung approached me for help.

“I got most of it, I just can’t reach my back.”

“Oh, I got you,” I took the bottle from him. “You’ll have to help me too. Actually…” I paused to read the bottle a little closer. “I don’t think this is strong enough for me.”

“Really? Isn’t it 40spf?”

I shrugged, making sure the back of his neck and tops of his ears were coated as well.

“My grandma got skin cancer, so I’m a little paranoid I guess. Done.”

Daesung took the bottle and turned to face me.

“Aren’t you going to change?”

I glanced at the camera crew.

“I guess. I hope everyone likes blurs.”

It was a two piece, but didn’t really count in my mind as a bikini. It was just a swimming suit. Green, stretchy, comfortable. My favourite one. My only one.

I was a little too aware of the fact that I was going to be on TV. In turn, I was too aware that I hadn’t been to the gym in what felt like ages. I stood in the cloth closet and ran my fingers over my legs. They were strong enough to carry me for miles at a time, but when not being used or flexed they seemed a little too soft, a little too large.

I took a moment to think of what Soo-Ah might say to me in a moment like this.

Maybe

> “You’re not expected to look like us.”

Or

> “No one will even notice. That’s not what they’ll be looking at.”

Or

> “It gives you the coke bottle look.”

Or if she really wanted to go for a boost:

> “I don’t think there’s a food emoji sexy enough for your legs.”

I chuckled to myself, thankful that I had someone to offer such assertively positive thoughts to me. Trying to keep her rambunctious style of compliments in mind, I stepped out.

“Woah.”

There went the feel good Soo-Ah vibes. I shrunk into myself slightly, crossing my arms over my stomach.

“Maybe I should put a tshirt on over it,” I mumbled, turning to pick up my clothes.

“Hey,” Seunghyun reached for my arm to stop me.

I stilled, but kept my bundle of clothing in front of myself.

“What?”

I’ll admit, I snapped at him. My self-consciousness getting the better of me, I was automatically defensive to the point of going on the offense.

Seunghyun narrowed his eyes, but then shook his head.

“If you’re uncomfortable, fine. But none of us are thinking poorly of you.”

I looked at the rest of the men. Jiyong was busy cutting open a cantaloupe. Taeyang and Seungri were erecting a volleyball net. Daesung was sneaking sideways looks at Seunghyun and I from where he lounged on a thin blanket.

“Won’t they have questions?”

“Sure,” Seunghyun shrugged, “but Taeyang is the only one that would actually ask, and I’ll tell him not to.”

A different sort of discomfort started itching inside my skull.

“Why are you being nice?”

Seunghyun laughed. Shaking his head slightly, he wandered off to where Jiyong was now making disgusted faces over the cantaloupe seeds.

I look around again, considering what Seunghyun had said. Everyone was doing their own thing. Nobody seemed to care about the ink or toughened flesh on my body. They had their own thoughts and tasks to grapple with.

I put my clothing aside, and headed over to Daesung.

He smiled at me softly, inching over so I could sprawl out next to him.

“I found some 55spf.”

“Cool,” I held a hand out, “let me see?”

He handed over a smaller bottle of sunscreen.

I popped the lid and smelled it. It smelled like swimming lessons when I was ten. I smiled. That particular smell meant it probably used physical blockers in addition to chemical ones. I spurred a glob into my hands and started the careful application from my feet up.

About fifteen minutes later, I handed the bottle back to Daesung.

“Help?”

He nodded and moved to kneel behind me. I shivered at the cream hitting my shoulders, but the cold sensation was quickly dispersed by his warm hands.

I dropped my head forward and swept my hair uselessly aside. His hands felt good. It was probably more to do with the tension of the last weeks than anything else, but he felt like a professional masseuse. After a second, a quiet groan escaped my mouth.

“You okay?”

I nodded, pulling my legs up in front of me to wrap my arms around.

“Sore. Shy. But I think I’m okay.”

Daesung hummed, recapping the sunscreen and resuming his position next to me.

“I don’t think I can help with the shyness, but we could go to a spa or something tomorrow if you want.”

I grinned at him, laying my head on my knees.

“Really? That would be great.” I laid back, stretching my arms behind my head and closing my eyes against the sun. “That’s really sweet of you.”

Daesung didn’t say anything, but that was alright.

* * *

 

I woke up to the sound of something being crunched into the sand next to the blanket.

I peeked one eye open to see Seungri erecting a sunshade.

He gave me a tense smile, but stayed quiet as he finished setting up the temporary shelter.

I pushed myself up and went to see if there were any drinks available. I wasn’t sure how long I had been napping, but the sun had surely sapped me of hydration.

“Here.”

A bottle of cold water was pressed into my hand by Chul.

I smiled as graciously as I could and uncapped it.

“Thank you. How long was I asleep?”

“Only about an hour and a half,” Chul shook his head and laughed. “How you could sleep through Seungri screaming, I don’t know.”

I frowned over the water, too busy drinking to pause and form words.

“Youngbae threw him into the water.”

I nodded, recapping the now entirely drained water bottle.

Chul tilted his head quizzically.

“What?”

“You just chugged that in less than thirty seconds.”

I looked at the empty bottle, then at Chul. Back to the bottle. Back to Chul.

“I was thirsty.”

He laughed, shaking his head.

“Here,” he took the bottle from my hand and replaced it with a full one, “don’t drown yourself.”

I laughed and nodded, taking the bottle. I held onto this one, not opening it yet.

* * *

 

“Ayy! You’re finally awake!” Jiyong jogged up and tugged at my arm. “Come play volleyball with us. We can actually have even teams. T.O.P has no excuse to not play now.”

I let him lead me to the net, waving my thanks at Chul for the water.

“Who picks teams?” Taeyang asked.

“Me and Seunghyun,” Jiyong answered. “The eldest and the leader.”

“I call Luna,” Seunghyun languidly interjected, “since eldest goes first, right Jiyong?”

Jiyong looked annoyed, but didn’t argue.

“Alright. I want Youngbae.”

“Daesung.”

“Maknae to me then. Let’s go!”

The game was fun, but fairly uneventful. At least externally.

Being faced with the five men dressed in swimming kit was a little nerve-wracking.

I had seen Jiyong in a similar state before, which I expected to lessen the impact. If anything, it actually made it worse. A certain smile or sound while playing would remind me of that first time we had been on his sofa. The secrecy bore into my skull, and I was somewhat convinced that Jiyong had noticed.

Seeing Taeyang shirtless just served to further prove to me that we weren’t compatible. His body was definitely well taken care of, but I felt nothing besides a sort of congratulatory admiration between athletes.

Seungri was… difficult. I found myself avoiding looking at him. I didn’t want to know what he looked like. Being confronted by his body like that was a sour experience. And a confrontation was exactly what it felt like. His physique was unintentionally weaponised by the events of the previous week.

I chose to distract myself with my teammates.

Seunghyun was, aggravatingly, pretty much my ideal type… physically. Strength was evident in his frame but not overbearingly so. Where Taeyang looked ornamental, Seunghyun possessed a practical kind of mass.

Daesung was my other physical ideal. Softer than the rest, but not weak. His frame evoked only the idea of “friend” from my mind. Not in a “friend zone” way. It was more like he was… friend-shaped. Strong and useful, non-threatening.

I examined that idea while Seunghyun and Taeyang argued over points.

Daesung brought up some of the clearest feelings and thoughts out of the bunch of the guys. If I were looking for a member for my nomadic tribe, he’d be my first pick. If I needed to assemble a zombie survival team, he’d be in my top three.

Suddenly, I felt the need for the bottle that Chul had given me. I dug it out from under a towel and lifted it to my lips, keeping a distracted eye on the guys.

Nothing happened.

I looked at the bottle.

Right. Might help to open it first.

“Enjoying the show?”

I jumped, managing to coat both Daesung and I in water.

I decided to keep my eyes on the (now half emptied) bottle.

“I’d apologise but,” I shrugged, “beach.”

Daesung only laughed, swiping absently at his chest.

“It’s fine. You’re obviously distracted.”

He was sporting a smug smile. In anyone else it would make me change the subject, but I liked playing with Daesung.

“What do you mean?”

He cocked an eyebrow, “seriously? You keep blushing like a schoolgirl. It’s like you’ve never seen men before.”

He was lying, obviously. I was only blushing like a college student. But his words may have amped it up into schoolgirl territory.

I pressed the water bottle to my cheek.

“No I’m not. Shut up. I saw you looking too!”

“There’s a lot to see,” he shrugged, laughing.

My mind immediately went back to my legs, and scars. Surreptitiously, I tried to lower my hands to cover my body a little more. My legs also tightened up subconsciously.

Daesung appeared to squint slightly, but, if he had noticed, he didn’t say anything.

* * *

 

I tried to distract myself from my feelings by throwing myself wholeheartedly into a sand castle competition with Taeyang.

He was definitely better than me at getting the plastic forms off without crushing the sand under them. His castle was a pretty affair with towers, a wall, and even a moat. Mine was restarted halfway through and built using the drip method.

I easily conceded the win to him, even though Seunghyun said he liked mine better.

The distraction only worked for so long. Eventually, I used the fact that the sun was beginning to dip and some wind was picking up to put on my sweatpants and tshirt over my swimsuit. It was something so simple, but I could feel myself being more physically relaxed afterwards.

Of course, when you’re in a group, someone is bound to notice something.

Seunghyun managed to pull me aside to help him set up a small grill.

“Did someone say something?” He asked without looking up from the assembly instructions.

“Not on purpose,” I tried to be quiet. I wasn’t keen on the idea of any of the other boys overhearing this.

“So somebody said something,” Seunghyun nodded.

I didn’t want to have this conversation. I stalled, watching him screw the legs onto the bowl-like bottom of the grill.

“I… why are you asking? Isn’t this usually Jiyong’s job?”

Seunghyun shrugged.

“Yeah. He asked me to ask. Said there was some sort of issue between you two.”

I surveyed the others, noting that Jiyong was watching Seunghyun and I.

Well, at least he could take a hint.

“It was an off-hand comment,” I turned back to Seunghyun, “I’ll talk to that person myself. But for now,” I shrugged, tugging at my shirt, “I just need some more armour.”

“Alright, I understand that,” he finally looked up at me, “but if you need backup, just let me know.”

This was perhaps the most sincere I had seen him. Or heard him, since it was more in his tone of voice than his look.

I frowned, pursing my lips.

“I’m not sure how I feel about your change in attitude towards me.”

“Hmm… that’s fair. I just…” Seunghyun paused, standing up straight and admiring the now assembled grill. He opened the accompanying bag of charcoal briquettes, filling the bottom of the grill.

I thought he had forgotten that he was in the middle of a sentence, but then he spoke up again.

“I realised that I was being a little hard on you.”

I wanted to press the topic, but decided against it. Better not to strain this newfound innocuousness between us.

* * *

 

“Are you sure you had enough to eat?”

I waved away Jiyong’s question, making noises that implied that I was fine.

“Here,” Daesung held up a wrap he had just made, “eat this.”

“I’m okay,” I tried to refuse, “I’m fine.”

“Mm-mm,” Daesung shook his head, “I made it for you so you have to eat it. Open up.”

My face felt warm, having this guy trying to hand feed me.

I made a show of rolling my eyes and opened my mouth, leaning forward to bite into the roll of meat and greens.

“Is it good?” Daesung eagerly asked.

Mouth full, I went for a thumbs up rather than answering.

Daesung smiled brightly with my approval. He still held the other half of the roll, which I accepted once my mouth was clear.

As I worked the food between my teeth, I looked around the table.

Seungri was staring at his plate intently. To an outside observer, he looked bored. To me, he looked annoyed.

Taeyang was paying close attention to grilling more meat, appearing entirely absorbed in the process. The only break in his concentration was his conversation with Jiyong.

Jiyong was talking to Taeyang, obviously. The conversation was low, and they were a little ways down the table, so I couldn’t make out what they were talking about.

Seunghyun was watching. His eyes seemed to be grazing over the five of us, watching for… something.

Our gazes intercepted each other, and he tilted his head. It looked like the sort of nod that an elder sibling might give their younger at a party. An “I see you, but I won’t interfere” sort of nod.

Unsure exactly what it meant, I shot him a quick smile before returning my attention to Daesung.

“... all day thing. What do you think?”

“Hmm? Sorry,” I smiled sheepishly, “what?”

“The spa. We could make it an all day sort of thing. Massage, hair, sauna, skin… everything.”

“Um… sure! That sounds great.”

* * *

 

Once the sun was firmly settled beyond the horizon, Taeyang and Seungri managed to get a bonfire going.

I fashioned a mostly dry beach towel into a shawl and settled down in the sand next to Jiyong.

“Hey,” I ultra-smoothly attempted to break the day’s awkward silence between us.

“Hi,” he smiled at me. “Did you have a good time today?”

I hummed, thinking it over. Despite the few tense or awkward moments, it had actually been a pretty good day.

“Yeah, mostly. What about you?”

“Today was good. I’m glad you and Daesung seem to be getting along so well.”

I thought he might be lying, but didn’t want to open that particular line of conversation.

“Yeah. He, uh, he makes me feel… accepted, I guess.”

Jiyong nodded, taking a moment to lift a beer that I hadn’t previously noticed to his lips.

After wedging the bottle into the sand next to him, he reached behind himself and lifted the edges of the blanket on which we were sitting to his shoulders.

We sat in amicable enough silence for a while. The flames in front of us were hot. Hot enough that, even though everything around us had the natural dampness that comes with ocean air, my towel felt almost crispy.

To be honest, I was sweating more than I had all day.

I was struck by the feeling of being sick of it. I was sick of being hot. I was sick of Jiyong’s silence. I was sick of feeling like I had to hide my body. I was sick of Seunghyun’s hot and cold games. I was sick of Taeyang’s carefully maintained neutrality. I was sick of Seungri. I was sick of it, all of it.

I stood up and lifted my shirt. Dropping it to the sand and working my pants over my hips I noted that Jiyong was watching me.

He looked surprised, and a little confused.

“What ar-”

“I’m going swimming. Fuck it.”

I stepped out of my pants and headed towards the water.

I heard some noises of mental and physical struggling behind me. Ignoring them, I quickly waded into waist deep water and then dove forward at a gentle angle.

Immediately, my body loosened.

I had been carrying tension that I hadn’t even been aware of. My shoulders, my neck, my back… even my damned knees felt better now that I was letting myself float in the water.

Staying under just long enough to stretch out in every direction, I listened to the muffled noises in the water.

It was pretty quiet. The only real sound was the slight shifting of sand and small pebbles.

I wanted to live in that sound.

Breaking back up and out of the surface, I stood up. The water just barely lapped at my shoulders.

“There you are!”

I turned to spot a very irate Jiyong knee deep in the water.

“What?”

“You could have drowned!” He splashed his way towards me. “What if the tide took you out? Come on,” he held a hand out to me, “let’s go back.”

I moved away from him, and the beach.

“I’m a good swimmer Ji. Trust me.”

“Luna!” His voice went up a bit, betraying his panic.

“You’ve seen me on the treadmill, right? I’m even better in the water.”

I was enjoying watching him squirm, if I’m totally honest.

“I… I believe you but please just… let’s go in a little bit.”

I laughed and submerged myself.

Judging by the sound of his feet crunching in the sand, I easily moved around him. Surfacing about a foot behind him made him swear.

“What the fuck! Luna don’t do that!”

“What?” I tilted my head, “I thought you wanted me closer to shore?”

“Yes, b-”

“What are you guys doing?!”

Taeyang’s voice carried across the water easily.

“I wanted to swim!” I called back, following it with a laugh and another dive.

Through the water, I heard the highly warped sounds of Jiyong and Taeyang. Nowhere in my body or soul was a part of me that cared about what they were saying.

“-ack soon.”

I broke the surface again in time to catch the end of Taeyang’s sentence.

“What’s that?”

“He said we’re leaving soon,” Jiyong was behind me again.

The water was around rib height now, but Jiyong must have let his legs go slack, letting the water up to his chin.

It was the only way to explain how he managed to press his chest against my lower back.

His arms draped around my waist, and I felt his head against my side.

“You guys should come in!” I called, absently resting my hand on top of Jiyong’s head.

I heard him groan before he pushed himself away from me.

“Stop being greedy,” I chided him, trying to be quiet.

“Don’t want to.”

In the end, we were able to convince all except Seunghyun to come into the night ocean with us.

There were yelps of fright (“What just touched me?!?!”), whoops of excitement, and plenty of laughter. There was even a chicken fight judged by Jiyong.

“You’re sure I’m not too heavy? I just seem light because of the water,” I warned Daesung.

“Stoooop,” he protested. “Besides, how am I going to pass up on getting between your thighs?”

He had whispered the second sentiment, making me extremely glad that it was too dark to show my blush.

“Well, I, that…” it was useless.

Before I could finish a sentence, Daesung had dove and secured his arms around my legs. He slowly stood, working out how our combined balance worked when he lifted me on his shoulders above the water.

“I won’t go easy on you!” Taeyang called from atop Seungri’s shoulders.

“I didn’t expect you to!” I retorted.

The following bout was surprisingly even-matched. Taeyang was stronger than me, but Daesung was more steadfast than Seungri. Daesung’s grip on my legs felt sure to leave marks from how tightly he held me aloft.

“Just… go… down…” Taeyang grunted between breaths.

“No,” I responded, “you!”

I was met with, rather than more grunts, the water slapping into my side. Somehow, Seungri had managed to trip Daesung.

I wanted a rematch, but Jiyong wrangled us all back to the beach. It was finally time to go home.

* * *

 

I was sandwiched between Seunghyun and Jiyong this time. Somehow, the ride was still mostly quiet. Everyone’s energy had been depleted by sun, spray, and fire, so we all fell asleep pretty quickly on the ride back.

I was shaken awake lightly, though the vehicle was still in motion. Glancing around, I noticed I had been laying against Seunghyun’s chest as he reclined against his window.

“Sorry,” I straightened up, crossing my arms and putting my head down.

“It’s fine,” Seunghyun’s arm looped over my shoulder, welcoming me back into his side, “that’s not why I woke you up.”

I followed his arm, draping myself against him.

“What’s up?”

“Will you tell me what it was today? What made you feel like hiding?”

I sighed, reviewing my trust ranking. There wasn’t a reason to not tell him.

“Someone said that there was a lot of me to see…” I shook my head, “I know he didn’t mean anything by it. He was probably just talking about tattoos and stuff. But still, it got inside my head.”

Seunghyun hummed, the sound resonating directly under my ear. I felt his arm tighten up on my shoulders, his hand giving my arm what I suspected was supposed to be a comforting squeeze.

“I’m sure you know that they’ve been wondering about how you look. He probably just meant that he liked your body.”

“Shut up,” I groaned.

“Respect your elders,” Seunghyun seemed to be having a quiet laugh.

“Please stop talking,” I paused, then tacked on some English for emphasis, “ _sir_.”

His hand gripped my arm again, though this time it felt like… well… a warning?

* * *

 

“My mouth feels like hell,” Seungri complained.

We were all squeezed into the elevator, riding up to our rooms.

“Drink water,” Taeyang mumbled. His eyes were closed, and he was leaning back against the wall, head tilted back like a perfume ad.

The elevator finally dinged its arrival to the sixteenth floor. There was an awkward moment when both Daesung and Jiyong lingered, but Seunghyun grabbed Jiyong’s arm and tugged him out.

I glanced at Daesung, arching my eyebrow.

“That…”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

Daesung walked me to my door. I couldn’t help but joke as I unlocked it.

“I don’t think I’ve got the energy for another all-nighter.”

“Oh no!” He raised his hands in protest. “That’s not why I’m here. I just wanted to see you up.”

“You and Jiyong both,” I cracked, leaning against my doorframe.

“Yeah… he has to wait his turn. This isn’t week one anymore.”

He sounded genuinely annoyed, but not extremely so.

“He’s probably going to text me later. ‘Was Daesung respectful? Did he kiss you?’ Something like that.”

“Well,” Daesung shot me a flirtatious smile, “am I being respectful?”

“I don’t think you even know how to not be,” I shrugged.

“I guess the real question is if I’ll kiss you,” his eyebrow tweaked slightly upward.

“Wouldn’t you already know?”

“Not necessarily,” he moved closer, our shirts brushing together just barely. “Like you said, I’m not disrespectful. So you would know before I would.”

My heart thudded against my ribs, the rushing of blood filling my ears and cheeks.

“For example, I might come this close,” he leaned in closer. His lips were now only a centimetre or two from mine.

“But, that’s as far as I’ll go on my own.”

“I-I…” I took a breath, smelling only sea salt and sunscreen, “I don’t know…”

Daesung grinned, looking genuinely satisfied with my answer.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, he closed his mouth, teeth clicking together. A biting motion, almost designed to spark imagination.

“I’ll call you tomorrow morning,” Daesung was suddenly a good thirty centimetres away now, and getting further, backing down the hall. “Sleep well sailor moon.”

* * *

 

I went about my nightly routine, trying to ignore what had just happened with Daesung. I didn’t much like the idea that Daesung was interested in me beyond friendship.

“Could just be for the show,” I muttered, scrubbing my face clean.

Washed, brushed, and moisturised, I finally turned my phone back on. Turns out, Mino’s texts weren’t the ones that would have gotten me into trouble.

> **From: KSY  
>  Hi! This is Seungyoon! I just wanted to say thank you for letting us hang out yesterday.**

I changed his contact name to something a little more familiar before reading the second message.

> **From: Yoonie  
>  You’ll have to meet my dog sometime.**

I quickly closed the chat, not comfortable with the idea of meeting anyone’s anything. Seungyoon didn’t necessarily seem objectionable…perhaps just a little mischievous. If anything he seemed to like watching Mino and I interact.

Of course I hadn’t thought Mino would cause any issues either. If I ran into Seungyoon and he asked why I didn’t reply, I could just say that I had forgotten to. Safe, good, non-confrontational.

I moved on.

> **From: Hugeboy  
>  What’s up?**

My thumbs hovered over the keyboard, but I felt too awkward to type anything. Should I just act like everything was normal? I decided to come back to that conversation later.

> **From: Zico  
>  Mino is freaking out. Did you say something or is he just thinking too much?**

This one was easy.

> **_To: Zico  
>  He might be freaking out because I haven’t said anything. My phone was off all day._ **

Ever onwards, to the rest of the little notification flags.

> **From: Bobby  
>  I need your help.**
> 
> **From: Bobby  
>  I think I want to ask out Soo-Ah.**

I mumbled an “oh boy…” under my breath. I loved Soo-Ah dearly, but she was a little high maintenance. So, actually, a celebrity might be perfect for her. Still, it felt strange.

> **_To: Bobby  
>  Are you even allowed to date?_ **

I saw the name attached to the next message and groaned. I wanted exactly nothing to do with this.

> **From: Cho Ilsung  
>  Don’t be like this. We have to talk.**
> 
> **From: Cho Ilsung  
>  I got hired by YG.**
> 
> **From: Cho Ilsung  
>  We’re going to have to talk at some point.**
> 
> **_To: Cho Ilsung  
>  As long as you haven’t somehow started working in filming in the last two years I think we’re fine._ **
> 
> **_To: Cho Ilsung  
>  I haven't run into you yet, so I see no reason I would run into you in the future._ **

I switched back to the text from Mino, which now seemed much easier to deal with when compared to my ex.

> **_To: Hugeboy  
>  Had filming on the beach all day. Just turned my phone back on._ **

Done with replying, or not, I switched over to my background noise app. Settling on the noise of fans (since it reminded me of hypnotoad), I was about to set my phone down on my nightstand when it chimed and lit up.

> **From: Zico  
>  Holy shit how did you live?**

I laughed. He might not be the most social but I could definitely see him being the type to be constantly glued to his phone.

> **_To: Zico  
>  Well, I had five other people to hang out with._ **
> 
> **From: Zico  
>  Why did you have to give up your phone though?**
> 
> **_To: Zico  
>  I guess we were supposed to enjoy the beach._ **
> 
> **_To: Zico  
>  No distractions._ **
> 
> **From: Zico  
>  Well there’s one episode I have to watch.**
> 
> **_To: Zico  
>  But you hate Big Bang??_ **
> 
> **From: Zico  
>  I don’t hate Big Bang. I hate GD.**
> 
> **From: Zico  
>  I watch plenty of dramas that have characters that I hate.**
> 
> **_To: Zico  
>  It’s not a drama though._ **
> 
> **From: Zico  
>  Yeah it is. Plus it’s a beach episode.**
> 
> **From: Zico  
>  Can’t miss that.**
> 
> **_To: Zico  
>  Like a fanservice episode of anime, right?_ **
> 
> **From: Zico  
>  Exactly.**

I laughed, recalling how Zico had several pieces of anime merchandise in his studio. Of course he would relate to that comparison.

> **_To: Zico  
>  Pervert._ **
> 
> **From: Zico  
>  Well Mino won’t let me see your tattoos in real life so...**
> 
> **_To: Zico  
>  Go to bed... p e r v e r t_ **

The typing bubbles came up and went away a few times before he finally sent a reply.

> **From: Zico  
>  Are you offended? I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m sorry, if I did.**
> 
> **_To: Zico  
>  It’s cool. I’m actually… amused?_ **
> 
> **From: Zico  
>  Good. Go to bed.**

I chuckled.

> **_To: Zico  
>  You first, workaholic._ **
> 
> **From: Zico  
>  I will. As soon as I finish this song.**
> 
> **_To: Zico  
>  Then stop texting me and work._ **
> 
> **From: Zico  
>  You’re a nice break. But fine. Goodnight.**


End file.
